"A girl?" Yoori asked vigilantly. Fire seared through her soul again. "What girl?"
"Something Jin…" Chae Young breathed out. She was having trouble breathing normally. "J—Jin…"
"Ae," Yoori completed for Chae Young.
It was Jin Ae. It was Ju Won’s niece.
The residual anger pumping through her blood was ignited at this knowledge. It was the same girl who instructed her men to rape Yoori.
It was Jin Ae.
Rage imploded inside her.
It was fucking Jin Ae all along!
"IT WAS JIN AE! IT WAS THAT FUCKING BITCH ALL ALONG!" Yoori screamed, running out of the hospital room.
She crashed into Tae Hyun. He was speaking softly to Mr. Lee and Jae Won. He caught her midway. He pulled her to the side, shushed her and brought her to the corner where people were craning over to see what the commotion was all about.
"Calm down, Yoori. Calm down," he hushed her gently. "You're scaring Mr. Lee."
Seeing that the elevator doors were wide open with no occupants, Tae Hyun pulled Yoori into it. Just as the doors slid close behind them, he pressed on the emergency button to stall the elevator and said, "What did you just say?"
"Jin Ae!" Yoori cried. "Chae Young said that Jin Ae was there and she was trying to force Chae Young to call me so that I would come meet her alone!"
Anger rose through her as Tae Hyun's eyes widened in fury.
Jin Ae was taking her revenge.
She was taking her revenge on Yoori for having to kneel before her that night.
"I'm going to kill her," Yoori declared ruthlessly. The image of Chae Young crying at the diner and crying on her hospital bed was like fuel to the fire. Wrath poisoned her rationale. "I don't care if she's Ju Won's niece. I'm going to kill that bitch!"
"Yoori, stop!” Tae Hyun shouted, though his eyes were also severe with anger. "If you want someone dead then I'll take care of it! Ju Won won't be able to touch me if I kill her, but he'll be able to send people after you if you hurt her. I won't risk that."
"I don’t give a fuck about Ju Won!" Yoori shouted hysterically. For her, it was just black and white. There was no gray area in wanting to kill Jin Ae for what she put Chae Young through.
"I don’t give a fuck about him either!" Tae Hyun bellowed out. "I give a fuck about you!"
Yoori wasn't able to see reason in his argument. She was too blinded with her emotions.
"She did this to Chae Young! You weren't there to see how Chae Young was! You weren't there to see the fear in her eyes! You weren't there to see how amazed she was that she was still alive and how much she hated that she was still alive! All of this happened to her because Jin Ae wanted me! She had eleven men rape Chae Young because she knew that it would kill me! All of this happened to Chae Young because…because…of me.”
Yoori’s own words hit her like a ton of bricks, finally pushing her over the edge she had been trying so hard to hang onto. She covered her mouth and started to hyperventilate. Tears bubbled in her eyes.
"All of this happened because I brought her into this world. It happened because I was her friend. It happened because she was there to help me bake a cake. She was raped because of me. Me. It's all my fault."
"Yoori, stop. Stop saying that," Tae Hyun voiced when he saw the state of misery she was falling into. "She wouldn't have made it if you hadn't gone back."
Yoori wasn't listening. "She was late…she stayed late at the diner because she was helping me bake your cake." Her heart twisted in knots. "And Kang Min and I left her…all alone while we laughed in the car and drove away."
Yoori could see it all so clearly. She could see herself laughing and smiling with Tae Hyun on the balcony while on the other end of the city, Chae Young was begging and crying as those fuckers raped her.
The air escaped her.
"It's all my fault…this is all my fault."
That was the last thing Yoori said to herself before her body finally gave up on her. It was the last thing Yoori said before darkness consumed her and before she fell unconscious into Tae Hyun's arms.
“You can’t keep me in the dark anymore.”
28: Betrayal of Gods
"You have to eat," Tae Hyun whispered, gathering her long hair away from her face and letting it drift to the other side.
Crouched on the floor beside her, he gazed at her with gentle puppy dog eyes that she knew he was purposely giving her. He had just brought soup to her for the fifth time today. "Please?"
It had been about a day since Yoori passed out in the elevator. She had been dazed out of her mind and hadn't had much of an appetite to eat. She hadn't even been able to visit Chae Young because she was afraid of breaking out in another hysterical fit that would merit her passing out again. The last thing any of them needed was for her to be stuck in a hospital bed.
The afternoon snow glowed elegantly outside their bedroom window, yet it failed to harmonize with the disarray Yoori was feeling.
"I'm not hungry," she mumbled, lying on her stomach with the pillow underneath her. Her eyes were still on the white bedspread. She hadn't been as hysterical as the day before but the guilt was still there with her – along with other thoughts that continued to drown her.
The fact that Chae Young was tortured because of her, the fact that she went crazy and killed a bunch of gang members, the fact that she couldn’t get rid of this queasy feeling, the fact that she was still so angry that she could rip off Jin Ae's head if she ever saw her again, the fact that she was still worried about her relationship with Tae Hyun, the fact that she felt An Soo Jin was slowly but surely devouring her, and the fact that she was still in the Underworld…everything in her life was simply drowning her.
The only one who wasn't drowning her was Tae Hyun.
Throughout this whole ordeal, he had been by her side. He had sat in bed with her as she spoke about her guilt, as she slept away her sorrow, and as she wallowed in her own misery. Yoori had always prayed that she would be one of those people who could stand strong and continue on with their lives when tribulations came their way. But as she slept in bed with her comforter covering her, she couldn't deny that she was only strong enough to wallow.
Everything was too much for her.
She needed time to be in her own state of misery.
It hadn't occurred to Yoori that Tae Hyun had been indirectly wallowing along with her until she returned her gaze to him.
"Have you eaten yet?" she asked.
It wasn't possible that he did. She had been in his arms all day. If she didn't eat, she doubted he had a chance to eat.
She reached out and ran her fingers down his cheek. He was dressed in his pajamas, just as she was. The heater was on full blast in their apartment so he was only wearing a white shirt and his black lounge pants. He looked pale. There were dark circles under his eyes and he looked extremely exhausted. If there was a mirror, Yoori was sure she looked exactly like him.
"No," he answered, confirming her assumption. He smiled lightly at her. Even under the veil of lethargy, he still looked like her personal fallen angel. It was weird for Yoori. Even after having the official "boyfriend and girlfriend" label, they were still the same two people. Nothing changed with the exception that they could touch and kiss each other without having to have a conversation about “sexual harassment”.
Yoori sighed. She unthinkingly poked at the lips she loved so much. "Why haven't you eaten?"
She pulled her poking finger away just as those enticing lips parted.
"I don't have much of an appetite when my girlfriend is in bed, wallowing in her own misery and starving herself," he answered gently, laying his chin on the bed. He continued to stare up at her with his puppy dog eyes.
Yoori frowned at his bluntness and the cuteness exuding out of him. She still felt fragmented with confusion, but it was easily melting away. Being around Tae Hyun always had that effect on her. He always had that innate ability to make her feel better.
"I'm allowe
d days like this where I can just be miserable in bed," she shared weakly, still intent on not eating.
"Then I'm allowed to be miserable with you,” he swiftly retorted, though she could see in his expression that it was hard for him to see her like this.
Yoori smiled tightly at his comment. "You dummy. Why are you punishing yourself?"
"You're the dumb one who's punishing yourself first," he argued, tracing his fingers over her pale face. He sighed. "You can't change what happened and blaming yourself isn't going to help. None of this was your fault. You couldn't have known what was going to happen. If you knew even the slightest bit, do you think you would have allowed it to happen?"
Yoori knew what he said was true, yet she couldn't deny that the entire situation continued to weigh her down.
"I just have so much on my mind," she said honestly, the guilt having yet to leave her.
"I know you do."
"And I'm already so fed up with all of it. I'm not punishing myself. I'm just…not hungry."
"Fine, you little Brat." Tae Hyun sighed, officially giving up. Weary from another one of his failed attempts to get her to eat, Tae Hyun lifted himself onto the bed, draped one arm over her comforter-covered tummy and wrapped one leg over her legs.
"I guess I'm not hungry either then," he told her after he brushed his lips against the side of her neck. Yoori restrained the satisfied whimper that fought to emit from her lips. Was he trying to seduce her into eating?
Yoori only sprung out of her daze when she heard his stomach growl. She frowned again. She could feel him smile guiltily when the growl burst into the room. She guessed that he got close to her so that she would hear it. Tae Hyun always had his creative quirks when it came to trying to make her feel better. Apparently, convincing her to eat by starving himself was also a tactic of his.
Fortunately for him, it worked.
She turned her body around to meet his face. "If I eat, you eat?"
She wasn't hungry, but she would eat for him.
He nodded. The breathtaking smile illuminated onto his lips, causing her to smile too. The guy was too charming for his own good.
"Okay,” she conceded. “I'll eat now then."
She sat upright and reached for the soup on the counter. It escaped her grasp when Tae Hyun was right beside it, holding the white bowl in his hands.
"It's gotten cold," he told her. "I'll warm it up for you first. Just drink the tea I made you."
He picked up the teapot from a red tray and poured tea for her.
Yoori grinned at the strings of aroma wiggling out of the red teacup. It was the tea she loved.
He handed Yoori the teacup and rushed out to warm up her soup. "I'll be right back."
She pulled off the comforter and hung her legs over the edge of the bed. She drank the tea. Though it had only been a day since she became a zombie, she could've sworn it felt like it had been decades since she rested on that bed in misery. She pushed away all the horrible thoughts that were beginning to plague her and just thought about the one good thing in her life.
Tae Hyun.
Tae Hyun was the only thing that pushed all the nightmares aside. He was the only thing in her life that made her smile. Yoori grinned gratefully, feeling fortunate to have him by her side. Just then, her hold on the teacup loosened and before she could catch it, the teacup fell to the floor.
Sounds of broken glass spilled into the room as the content of the warm tea and remnants of the teacup polluted the tiles.
Yoori groaned to herself and gazed up at the half opened doorway. The sound was loud but if the microwave was on, she doubted Tae Hyun heard it. She jumped off the bed, leaned down and carefully reached under the mattress to retrieve the big cracked piece. It had rolled underneath the bed. While under there, she touched something else and pulled it out.
Yoori laughed to herself when the mystery object came into view.
It was Tae Hyun's red hat, the one he wore when they first met. It felt like it had been ages since that fateful moment. Her face lit up as she ran her finger over the curves of the brand new hat. Then, like a light bulb going off, a sudden thought dawned over Yoori…
“Well, you should’ve worn a hat or something!” she remembered yelling at him after their movie date.
“Well then maybe we shouldn’t watch a movie like that next time because I hate wearing hats.”
If Tae Hyun hated wearing hats so much, why did he wear a brand new hat when he first met her? Her thoughts went into overdrive and her memory of when she first saw Chae Young again at the grocery store came into view.
“…All we had was the surveillance tape of you talking to some guy in a red cap and you following him after he left seconds later,” Chae Young had said to her.
Surveillance camera…
The Underworld was all about confidentiality. Tae Hyun would only wear a baseball hat if he knew beforehand that the diner had a security camera. He would only know if he had planned to come into the diner all along…
Then, Yoori remembered that he ordered coffee. Yet, for as long as she had been with him, he never once drank coffee. The memory of when she spilled coffee on him was her next recollection.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" he shouted, rubbing his hands together in agony.
"I'm – I’m so sorry!" she cried, genuinely apologetic. She grabbed a handful of napkins from the dispenser and started drying his red-hot hands with them. It was true that Yoori didn't like the guy, but she never wished to harm him like this! This was what she got for talking shit about someone in her head. Her vision became blurred with confusion as she tried to make sense of what happened. "Th – th – the handle just suddenly broke—I...oh God...are you okay?"
She looked at his hands. They were blazing red.
She only left the coffee pot alone with him for a few seconds. Was it possible that he did something to it in such a short time span? Like a sequential effect, the rest came to her as easily as one domino falling on the other. The night when he broke into her apartment and cuffed her for the first time came into her mind.
"Look," he started, staring into her eyes while he slid a bit closer to make peace. "I'm ready to get past this. Can you come back to work?"
Yoori gawked at him. After all that happened, he still wanted her back? Mystification assailed her. Did this guy need an assistant that badly?
He stared at her expectantly, those enticing brown eyes holding her gaze. "Please?”
Out of everyone, he just wanted her so badly. And he would need her because…
The moment she first met Jae Won entered her mind.
Tae Hyun spared a glance at Yoori.
She was still staring uncomfortably at Jae Won.
"This is just the tip of the iceberg. Take a long and hard look at everything. Realize who is on our side and why we are the best."
And just as the door swung open, Yoori’s world tilted on its axis. Her stomach twisted in agonizing knots.
No…
It couldn't be possible…it couldn't be possible…
"Hey, just sit down. I'll take care of it."
In an instant, Tae Hyun was by her side, pushing her away from the broken glasses while dousing the tiles with paper towels.
Yoori sat on the bed and watched Tae Hyun carefully. Her lips had grown numb from shock. Her eyes lingered upon him, the only one who had been there for her since she was first introduced to this world. The one she shared so many laughs, so many secrets, and so much trust with.
Now, for the first time, she felt that she didn't know him anymore. For the first time, she felt like she was staring at a stranger instead of her Tae Hyun.
She thought back to the secret Tae Hyun promised he'd share with her, the secret he feared would be so horrible that she wouldn't be able to look at him afterward. After everything that happened to her, Yoori couldn't help but feel her heart clench itself in fear. It was as if it was begging her to not dig any deeper into all this. It was as if it was begging her
not to say anything because it needed Tae Hyun so much.
"Tae Hyun," she prompted tentatively. The next words boiled in her throat, begging to be set free. She couldn't be in the dark anymore.
"Hmm?" he responded distractedly. He had just picked up the broken glass and was placing it on the damp paper towel.
"If you could explain to me how you were raised to be the person you are…to justify the things that you have done…what would you say to me?"
She wanted to understand everything. She wanted to understand why he did the things that he did.
A piece of glass pricked his finger just when she asked this.
Paying no mind to the cut, Tae Hyun gazed up, his eyes cloaked with turbulence when he finally noticed the red hat she was holding in her hands.
It was clear that he wasn't mentally prepared for this.
"Yoori—"
"It's an experiment," Yoori assured, feigning a light smile when she sensed his need to stall the conversation. "To see how well I know you since we've met."
She noted the stress exuding out of his once carefree stature. Tae Hyun rarely got nervous and he seldom showed it. This moment was a rarity.
"I don't—"
"Just humor me. Please?" Yoori insisted with another one of her bright smiles. "What is the typical thing you say to someone you've just recruited?" Once she saw the obvious uncertainty in his eyes, she smiled wider. "Please?"
She needed this moment to prepare for what was to come. She needed this moment to just be with him for a little while longer before the downpour of emotions rippled around her and drowned her.
"There's a list of rules…that has been passed down from Underworld Kings to Underworld Kings," he began apprehensively. So many emotions twisted in his eyes, yet she couldn't read any of them. "I was taught to memorize it when I started my training at 10-years-old. It's a series of statements that I, as well as other Royals, repeat to ourselves every morning."
The Fall of Gods (A Welcome to the Underworld Novel, Book 2) Page 47