"Can you share it with me?"
Tae Hyun was unreceptive to the request.
"I think you should eat first and rest. We can talk about this another day…when you're feeling better," he amended delicately.
He picked up the broken glasses with the damp paper towel, walked out, and tossed it into the trash outside before he returned to the room.
He was picking up the bowl of soup for her when Yoori said, "How about I eat while you tell me?"
She wouldn't let him push it to another day. Their agreement was that he would tell her the day after she agreed to be his girlfriend. He was supposed to tell her the day she found Chae Young in the diner.
That day had long passed.
The nerves in his jaw clenched. When it was clear that he was backed into a corner, Tae Hyun nodded stiffly, picked up the bowl and walked over to her. He sat on the side of the bed with her, picked up the silver spoon, dug into the soup, and fed Yoori her first spoonful. The heat of the soup warmed her tongue when he spoke.
"Our world is different from the rest," he said just as she chewed some meat and vegetable from the soup.
It took all of her control not to free the sob from her chest once she heard the strain in his voice – the guilt echoing from him. The strain confirmed that all of her speculations were accurate. He really had been using her since the beginning. How ironic was it that she knew him well enough to detect guilt in his voice, yet she hadn't known he was using her all along?
"Some people find themselves stumbling into it whether willing or unwillingly…"
"How did you fall into it?" Yoori asked when she sensed his hesitation to continue. She parted her lips for the soup, her additional silent encouragement for him to go on.
"I was born into it," he answered wearily, feeding her another spoonful of soup. His face was paler now, completely drained of color. "That's why I'm here right now. That's why I have this much power. That’s why I can do whatever I want."
Yoori nodded while she swallowed her soup, understanding that indeed he did have so much power in this world.
"To be the leading hand in this world, you have to be flexible with your morals. You can't allow yourself to be weak. You have to be able to punish people without fear."
She also understood the lengths he was willing to go to further extend his power. Kwon Tae Hyun would sacrifice anything for power and using Yoori like she was an object was no exception to his determination.
"Wrong or right, you have to stick by your decisions. Because if you don't…you'd end up destroying yourself. You can never forgive the ones who betrayed you. You have to make an example of them by reminding them what you're capable of."
He betrayed her. From the beginning, he betrayed her and this comprehension tortured Yoori. She swallowed past the tears rising through her as she thought about the feelings she had for him.
Tae Hyun would never know the things he did to her, how much power he had over her. And now, to realize how that power was contrived, how it was purposeful instead of natural, Yoori couldn't have felt more betrayed. She not only felt stupidity, but she also felt immeasurable pain for this duplicity. Before she could help it, tears had already bubbled in her eyes as Tae Hyun fed her another spoonful of soup.
The truth hurts…
"Notoriety is everything. Make sure that they will never betray you again…finish them off. Remember this step…it's the most important one."
He swallowed miserably when he saw the tears bubble in her eyes. It looked like someone had just stabbed him in the chest. Yoori wondered what he felt terrible about. Was he miserable because she was crying or because he was caught?
He stopped talking and was silent with guilt until Yoori parted her mouth and waited patiently for another spoonful of soup. It was her quiet and painful way of telling him to go on— to finish telling her the list of Underworld guidelines as she gathered her final strength for the turbulent conversation to come.
Tae Hyun went on with difficulty. "Kindness…is overrated. You have to be able to kill people like they are worth nothing. Even when you know for a fact, that's not true. You have to…show no remorse. If you show just an ounce of weakness…just one ounce…then you're done in this world."
He showed her kindness. That was why she fell for him. She thought he was different. She thought she was different. She thought she had changed him and that she had touched a part of his soul. It was a silly wish on a hopeful girl's part and now, she was paying for her naivety.
He used her.
He was able to use her because she was worth nothing to him.
She wasn't different.
She was just worthless.
"That's why I am one of the best…" He exhaled in pain when he saw the first teardrop fall from her eye.
Tae Hyun's betrayal…it was more painful than anything a knife or a bullet could ever hope to inflict on her. Hurt, humiliation and anger…was it possible for a single teardrop to contain all those emotions?
"It's truly a terrible thing," he added, his voice breaking faintly when he watched tears ease out of her eyes. "Terrible how unjust this world can be."
No longer able to hold back, Tae Hyun reached out with the sole intent of wiping her tears away…to hold her in his arms perhaps…
Yoori wouldn't have any of it. She backed away from a worried Tae Hyun and crashed hard onto the headboard behind her. She refused to allow him to touch her. The strings of her heart twisted in agonizing knots. God help her if he touched her. If he showed her more thoughtfulness, then she would never be able to do what she had to do.
"It is only unjust for the people who kneel before you," Yoori finally breathed out with difficulty. "But just like all things in life, you should know that what goes around comes around.”
Her gaze became colder.
“No world can be unjust for so long. For every lie…there is a truth. For every injustice…there is revenge. For every empire…there is a downfall. For every temptation…there is a God who falls.” She smirked. “Just because you’re more powerful than human, just because the world kneels before you…does not mean you’re exempt from the cruelties of life.”
Her eyes ran over his taut face. “You’re merely living on borrowed time. You’re merely at the end of your rope. Rest assured…you will not always be this powerful. The time will come when you will have to step down from being a God and become human again. And when that time comes, you won't only have to face your demons…but you'll also have to answer to the people you've hurt."
She leveled her eyes with his.
"Your time has come," Yoori prompted decisively, swallowing past the lump of tears and fury rising through her.
Her once weakened eyes became cold, unforgiving.
Their borrowed time was up.
"You can't keep me in the dark anymore. It's time you told your side of the story.”
“It’s time you told your side of the story.”
29: The Separation of Gods
“Was it your plan all along?” Yoori incited without delay. She had no more inclination to beat around the bushes. “To steal Ji Hoon’s girl? To use An Soo Jin’s lookalike to help you get to the top? To secure your position as the next Lord of the Underworld?”
She watched him rise quietly to his feet. Walking over to the shelf, he placed the soup bowl above it. His back was turned to her as if to gather his nerves for everything to come. It was like he was preparing himself for an impending storm.
He turned around, his countenance paled with nothing but desolation. His enrapturing brown eyes held hers. There was nothing but unease in his gaze. Though all of this was seemingly difficult for him, he looked more than ready to tell her the truth.
“The plan was never to steal you from Ji Hoon. That thought didn’t cross my mind when I first saw you.”
Yoori ignored the whip of pain that slapped her face once she finally heard his words of confirmation – once he finally confirmed that everything was planned from the beg
inning.
It was like she was living in a nightmare she couldn’t wake up from.
“When did you first see me?” Yoori asked swiftly, moving the conversation along before her emotions got the best of her.
“I saw you two weeks before I met you at the diner,” Tae Hyun admitted, standing across from her.
He never appeared more human to her than at that moment. With all the power he had in this world, he didn’t have enough power to change the past. He didn’t have enough power to change the mistakes that would scar them forever. It was ironic. Their entire relationship was ironic.
“You were sitting on a bench in the business district, reading a book when you caught my eye. I didn’t know who you were, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. It wasn’t until the Serpents beside me caught sight of you, did they tell me that you were An Soo Jin.”
Yoori smirked to herself. So there was actually a moment in time where he knew of her existence long before she ever knew of his…
“And even then, I didn’t believe it. I had never met Soo Jin, so I wouldn’t know right from left when it came to her but I knew the things an Underworld Royal would do. I asked them, ‘Why the hell would An Soo Jin hang out in the busy business district when she was supposed to be dead?’ I really believed that you were just someone who resembled Soo Jin. It was too ironic that you were out there in the open for everyone to see and you were so aloof about it. So I dismissed it as nothing. I dismissed it as nothing, but I had a couple of my Serpents keep an eye on you." He shamefully looked away when he said the next part. "I stumbled upon an An Soo Jin lookalike. I made sure to keep a close leash on you just in case I ever needed you in the future.”
Her chest tightened, the air around her becoming insufficient.
“…just in case I ever needed you in the future…”
His words taunted her.
How was it possible that this was the same person who stole her heart? The very same person who made her feel so much love? The emotions bearing down on her were overwhelming, but she endured it. She had to listen to everything before she allowed her emotions to drown her.
He went on with difficulty, like he could sense the toll it was taking on her. Even then, she could see the concern for her bubble in his eyes.
“Then two weeks after, I saw on the news that the Skulls had left a carnage of dead gang members in a building in Echo District. Ji Hoon had carved a Skull onto each of their cheeks, an infamous branding technique that he always employs to promote his gang. The move went against all the bylaws pertaining to our confidentiality, but it was effective enough to propel his position above mine.”
His expression hardened at the mention of Ji Hoon and the predicament he found himself in.
“I couldn’t have that and I knew how to blow him out of the water. There was a small gang, one that would overshadow any recruits he may have gotten from that publicity stunt.”
He swallowed tightly.
“I had long tried to get Jae Won’s gang under my wings. His gang was small, no harm to me if he never joined, but because he was personally trained by Soo Jin…because he was Soo Jin’s right-hand man, he had skills that no other small-time gang leader possessed. Even in small numbers, the Dragons were respected and I knew I needed them by my side to supersede any recruits Ji Hoon may have gotten from Echo District’s carnage. But I knew Jae Won’s type. I knew even under the cloak of death, he wouldn’t bow down to me…not unless I had someone by my side who commanded his respect—his loyalty.”
His eyes met hers. They were gentle and caring as they always were whenever they gazed at her. Yet as Yoori stared back into his eyes, she didn’t feel any warmness. All she felt was immeasurable pain and betrayal.
“You were the key to all of that. I would’ve needed you by my side for a few short months until the merger settled. When I went back to the diner to get you, I had two of my men walk into the sea of people coming out of the subway to identify you once more to make sure that you actually resembled Soo Jin. One of them had bumped into you and sure enough, by how he was shaking in fear, you resembled her enough to make fearful cowards out of them. So I had them go ahead. I had them go find Jae Won first and told them that I would bring you later and I’d get the merger I wanted.”
“You wore the hat because of the security cameras,” she noted mindlessly, ignoring the throb of anger in her voice.
He nodded morosely. “I knew who worked there and I knew that there were security cameras there. In the timeframe that I had you, I knew I had to get you out of there fast so I did the only thing I knew would work quickly: I had to blackmail you and force you out of there.”
“What did you do to the coffee pot?”
“Unscrewed it…very quickly before you came back so that it would be more than ready to shatter onto my hands when you lifted it up.”
“What would you have done if I didn’t leave that coffee pot there for you?”
“Something else,” he answered faintly. “My end plan was to get you to leave with me. How I went about it wouldn’t have mattered.”
Yoori snorted resentfully before something crossed her bitter mind. “You said the plan was never to ‘steal Ji Hoon’s girl.’ So why did you bring me to the warehouse to meet him?”
“Because I was angry when he left that voicemail of my sister,” Tae Hyun answered at once, his voice touched with enduring anger. “I hate him more than anything and for him to leave such a disgusting voicemail for me, I couldn’t think. All I saw was anger and all I saw was my revenge when I saw you sitting on the couch. My original plan was to bring you to the warehouse for him to see me with you—to kill him with jealousy that the love of his life was with me. But when the time drew near, I had a change of heart. I grew protective over you. Even then, I had already grown attached to you. That was why I had you wait for me in that limo…because I didn’t want you to meet him and I didn’t want to wrap you up in our mess.”
He smirked bitterly. “Obviously that planned changed when you came running back for me. When despite my efforts to keep you away, you were there regardless, helping me – someone who pretty much blackmailed you into slavery.”
Yoori heard the chaotic emotions in his voice and she knew that was the moment when she made her impact on him.
It was probably the moment where she found a place in his heart.
Ignoring the twinge of hope surging through her that perhaps they could look pass all of this, that Tae Hyun genuinely fell for her, she went on, her stubborn mind eager to find out everything before she allowed her emotions to erupt.
“Why have me as your assistant?”
“I didn’t want to involve any emotions into it. I only needed you for a couple of months. I made you my assistant because I needed you by my side at all times. I needed you with me to continue to demand Jae Won’s loyalty. It was just supposed to be for a couple of months. After things got settled, I figured I could just pay you and send you on your way.”
Her hopes were again dashed after hearing this. “…pay you and send you on your way...” Pay her like she was a rental car used only for his personal amusement. The cruelty and selfishness of his plan offended her on all levels.
His face softened once he noticed the pain coursing through her expression. They knew each other long enough that Tae Hyun could read the emotions streaming throughout her entire body. He knew she felt that he only saw her as something worthless and he was determined to convince her that she had always meant more to him.
“It was never part of the plan to fall for you. I used all the power at my disposal to keep that from happening because even subconsciously, I knew you were going to be my downfall. I kept trying to distance myself from you, yet I could never go far because I always yearn to be around you. You were like a drug…an addiction I couldn’t kick no matter how hard I tried.”
He saw her shake her head, the anger boiling within her streaming out.
“Yoori, please don’t look at me like that,"
he whispered, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. "I was a different person then. I’ve changed since then when it comes to you.”
As if pained by the fact that she had already emotionally distanced herself from him, he tried to reach out to her.
“I trusted you from the beginning,” Yoori instead seethed, jumping off the bed and backing away from Tae Hyun. Rage pumped in her blood. She couldn’t let him touch her anymore, not after all that he had done to her.
“I had always believed that you would never hurt me. I had always believed that you were the good guy in this world. When others told me not to trust you, I blew them off because I didn’t feel that they would know you better than me – because I’m the one around you constantly.” She laughed self-mockingly. “Yet you’ve been using me since the beginning…you’ve lied to me since the beginning.”
Wrath was rising through her and she wanted nothing more than to lash out at him.
She hated him.
She hated him so much.
“I had planned on telling you sooner but something gets in the way of it every time.” Confliction coursed in his voice. “I knew I had to tell you. I just wanted to find the right time for you when you were ready.”
“When you were ready.” Yoori wanted to laugh at those words. Who would’ve been ready for all this? Fury spiked within her, the first spark that would inevitably cause her to explode. She shook her head once she thought of all those times they spent together, all their silly moments. It was all tainted now. It was all tainted with his lies.
“You bastard…” Yoori finally hissed. The weight of everything falling apart in her little world spilled upon her.
“YOU FUCKING BASTARD!”
She lost it when her hands collided with his chest.
“You brought me into this world just because you wanted to get the fucking merger your gang needed?!”
She pushed against him, causing him to slam against the shelf where the soup once sat. It fell with a loud crash, the content of the soup and glass crashing onto their bare feet. She felt her feet bleed. She ignored it and continued to shove him. Anger overtook her.
The Fall of Gods (A Welcome to the Underworld Novel, Book 2) Page 48