“I’m here in D.C. visiting Marissa. I’m about to go see Dad soon. Until a week ago, I wouldn’t have done that. I thought when you two split that Dad stepped out on you, and you never corrected my assumption. You never said that you were the one who had been unfaithful to him. That’s wrong.”
“Laz, you have no right to—”
“I stuck up for you. I believed you. As a result, I pushed my father away. That wasn’t right for me to do, and I wished you could have been honest with me.” Laz thought about the full picture. “You need to be honest with yourself. If you don’t fix the reason why you cheated on Dad, your relationship with Donald will be doomed.”
“Don’t say that. That’s not fair.” Jocelyn’s voice broke. “Your father worked a lot. I felt ignored.”
“Did you tell your fiancé the real reason your marriage fell apart? He might need to know that. Trust me. If he finds out later on, it could destroy the trust he has in you.”
Laz heard his mother sobbing a little. “Is that what I did with you? Did I push you away? I didn’t mean to. I—”
“I know. No one is perfect.” Laz looked up at the doorway that went down to the basement area. Marissa poked her head up and smiled. “I learned that from my baby sister.” He winked at her. “If you start with a foundation of trust, you’ll have a strong relationship.”
Jocelyn sniffed. “I have to go. Tell Marissa hi from me, and that I love her.” Then she quickly added, “I love you, too, Laz. I love my Lazzy.”
He nodded. “I know, Mom.” He disconnected the call, but the news he had learned and this conversation still weighed him down.
* * * *
Laz made a special trip to D.C. from Maryland. He pulled up to his father’s place and hoped he hadn’t missed him. The entire trip there, Laz’s gut tightened. He couldn’t believe all this time, he assumed his father had stepped out on his mother. He protected his mother’s image. For that reason, Laz should have been better to Bradley.
Laz went to the door and knocked. When he waited for what he thought had been a bit too long, he started to knock again when the door opened. Bradley stood on the other side looking just like the hero he remembered. The extra bits of gray in his hair and lines around his eyes didn’t take away from his appeal.
“Laz, my boy. What are you doing here?” Bradley hugged Laz.
Laz didn’t want to let his father go.
“Hey, what’s going on with you?” His father patted Laz’s back. “Everything going okay?”
“Yeah, sure.” Laz finally let his father go. “Can we go in?”
“Sure. Sorry. Come in.” Bradley stood off to the side to let Laz come into his home. “You want something to eat or drink?”
“No. I’m good. I stopped off at Marissa’s first.” Laz waited to go anywhere in his father’s home to see where he wanted to go. He had to learn not to control every situation.
“She is an excellent cook. I think she got that from—”
“You?” Laz remembered his father manning the barbeque grill whenever his family held a cookout.
“No. I’m great at warming up food.” He shook his head. “No, your mother was, well, is a great cook. She could transform anything into something special.”
Laz smiled. This man could be bitter about the dissolution of his marriage, but he chose to take the high road. Laz could learn a lot from him.
“So what’s going on with you? What brings you down here? Looking for more talent?” Bradley sat down on a brown leather couch in the living room.
Laz sat on the other side. “No. I’ve made some mistakes.”
“Ah. Just like when you were little, you come home to heal. I like that about you.” Bradley knocked his hand against Laz’s. “What mistakes did you make this time?”
Laz took a moment before blurting his recent news. “I lost my job recently.”
“Oh, wow. Was that since looking for a singer to represent?” Bradley leaned his head on his propped up fist.
“Actually before. I didn’t tell you all because I really thought I could turn my life around.” He rubbed his hand over his mouth. “I’m sorry.”
Bradley furrowed his eyebrows. “Why would you be apologizing to me? Wait. Are you moving back in?”
Laz laughed. “Not yet. I’m not that bad off yet.”
“You know you could. I’m in this place all by myself. I could use the company.” He looked around his modest home.
“I think I might cramp your style when you bring dates back here.” Laz’s subtle comment hopefully let his father know that he approved of him moving on with his life without mentioning that Marissa told him what had happened between him and Laz’s mother.
That couldn’t be enough. So much had been left unsaid between him and his father in the past few years. Marissa could hold on to a secret. Laz couldn’t.
Bradley smiled at him. “I appreciate you thinking about my romantic needs. Speaking of romance, what about you and that beautiful young lady I saw you with? I know you said she was a client. I got a different vibe from her when I saw you two together.”
Laz rested his ankle on his knee. “That’s my other screwup. She thought I had done something inappropriate with another woman.” He glanced at his father now that he knew about his romantic past.
“But you didn’t, right?” Bradley sat up straight like he prepared to argue with him if Laz said he had.
“No. But because of who the person is, I’m not really allowed to talk about what happened with Avery.”
Bradley shook his head. “No. If you care about her, you tell her everything. Rules are for other people. You stay transparent to the ones you care about.”
“Dad?” Laz had to be careful and present the question in a way that gave his father some dignity. “Infidelity is serious.” He stared at his father. “Once you lose that trust, it’s hard to get it back, right?”
Bradley regarded his son for a while. “Being cheated on is a hard pill to swallow. It absolutely, positively destroys trust. Sometimes, if both people are willing, you can seek counseling. Even that may not work.”
Laz started to get a picture of what happened between his parents without asking the question outright. “I didn’t cheat on her.”
“Then you’ll have to fight for her.” Bradley pumped his fist in the air. “Don’t go in with charm. Do it with honesty. Lay your heart on the line. Expose your true feelings. If you go in completely vulnerable, she’ll have to listen.”
Laz rubbed his hands over his thighs before he spoke. “I know about you and Mom.” He peered up at his father. “I made a snap judgment about you without proof, and I am so, so sorry.”
Bradley held up his hand. “I wish Marissa hadn’t said anything. It’s not something a man should talk about with his children, especially his son.” He shook his head.
“Why?”
“I don’t want to talk about this, Lazarus.” Bradley’s eyes narrowed.
“Dad, talk to me. Don’t you know that each time you tell me something, I take it to heart and it affects my life? I don’t perform in front of people because you said I should assert myself. That made me think that I wasn’t doing that enough, so I withdrew. I thought withholding information and only sharing what I needed to with Avery would make us both happy . I ended up pushing her away when I did that. I don’t know how to open myself up to let someone in.”
Bradley stared at Laz until a smile stretched across his face. “Looks like you’re doing a pretty damn good job right now. I think this is the most you’ve ever said to me since your mother and I announced our split.” He cleared his throat. “I don’t want to go into details about what caused your mother and me to divorce. I will say that trust was lost, and in our situation, it could not be repaired. That’s not to say that all situations like that are lost. I know you. I know your heart. You can win her back if you do
to her what you just did to me.”
“And what’s that?” Laz shrugged.
“Bare your soul.”
Laz didn’t know if he could do that, especially since Avery avoided his calls. He couldn’t blame her considering what she must have thought of him. He just hoped Avery didn’t sign that contract.
“So what are you going to do about work?” Bradley now sounded like a dad.
“The same thing I’m going to do to get Avery to talk to me again. I’m finally learning to listen and relax a little.” Laz took a deep breath and smiled at his father. “Before that though, you want to go out and get a drink or something? Maybe you can find someone nice.”
Bradley stood. He patted Laz’s knee. “Let’s have a couple of beers here so that we can do some talking. How’s that sound?”
Laz stood and put his arm around his father’s shoulders. “Sounds like a perfect plan.”
“And maybe I can help you with your other problems.”
“I’ll take all the help I can get from you.”
Chapter 20
By the time Avery looked up from writing her final notes, she noticed that she sat alone in the class and Professor Klein watched her. Her mind had been on Laz and her recent decisions. She had almost had Laz making all of her decisions. Too bad at one point, she would have done anything he had asked of her.
She gathered her things and headed up to see her professor. “Did you get my report?”
He nodded. “I did. Interesting take on making it in the music industry.”
Avery had no idea what to do for her report until it came to her. Studying the probability of her making a mark in the music industry got her thinking about a lot of things. Did she still have a song in her heart without Laz?
“So is that what you want to do, be a singer?” Her professor cocked his head.
Avery didn’t know how to answer, or that she even wanted to answer that question. Each time she started to talk about walking away from her dream, she wanted to cry.
“You know when I was a kid, maybe a little younger than you, I wanted to be a cowboy. My mother saw another life for me.” He chuckled. “You know you define your own life.”
She shook her head. “That sounds nice, but my parents are just like your mother. They see a different life for me.” She hoisted her bag on her shoulder.
“You only have one life. Live it the way you want or you’ll have so many regrets.”
Her professor looked like he wanted to touch her shoulder, but she shrugged away from him.
“Thanks. I can’t wait until I graduate in a couple of weeks. I can really get my life going.” She headed to the door.
“And here I thought I was the only one obsessed with education.” He chuckled.
Avery wanted to smile with him but her heart wouldn’t let her. She did what she normally did for the last couple of weeks since leaving New York and Laz. She went straight back to her apartment, opened her notebook, and stared at a blank page. She found that she no longer felt inspired.
It didn’t help that her heart remained with Laz. He understood her. At least she thought he did. Her mind tripped over imagining Laz doing the same thing he’d done with her with Kat. Superstar, mega-rich, ultra-famous Kat. Why would he want Avery? Oh yeah. Work. She would have been a money earner for him. He would have used her. Her heart didn’t believe that.
Avery’s phone rang. Her body tightened, thinking that it might be Laz again. He regularly called or sent her a text message, usually with an apology. Her favorite messages, the ones she kept and listened to often, had to be the messages where he played piano for her and not said anything.
The memory of their time at his piano would forever be burned in her mind. Then she replayed the moment Sanaa and Kat played the video of them during a meeting. A stranger recorded her and Laz, and strangers watched them. Embarrassed heat filled her cheeks as she reached for her phone.
When she saw Graciela’s name across the screen, she smiled. “Hey.”
“How did your exams go?” Graciela sounded more excited than Avery.
“Okay, I guess. I’m finally done with them all. It’s now just a wait-and-see situation.” Avery shrugged.
“And what about you and Mr. Perfect?” Her friend made an obscene growling noise.
“Not so perfect.” Avery sighed.
“Oh, no. What happened? Do I need to beat someone up?”
Avery could imagine Graciela grabbing the bat her friend normally kept by her bed and heading over to see Avery to pummel all who dared to hurt her friend.
“He was supposed to help me get into the music business. It had all gone wrong. Bad contracts, wrong label, possible past relationships.” Avery shook her head.
“Relationships? Why would that bother you?” When Avery didn’t answer right away, Graciela filled in the blanks. “Just admit you two had a thing for each other.”
“Fine. Yes, we did. Now we don’t.” Avery would have to learn to move on, both from her dream and from that man.
“Don’t get testy. So you have no record deal and no man?”
“The record deal is still a maybe only because I owe Section Eight Records an answer.” She did promise Sanaa Farook that she would get back to her by the end of the month.
Avery hadn’t bothered to have anyone review the contracts since she hadn’t planned on signing anything. She didn’t have the heart to do so.
“Section Eight? Isn’t that the same label of Murder Man and Lil Chop? That’s hardcore. Are you doing that now?” Graciela’s voice rose.
“No. They’re planning on expanding to R&B. They wanted an unknown to start off the label.” The thought of that still flattered Avery. She didn’t see herself with that company.
“That sounds ideal. You would be the template. You would set the standard. You don’t want that?”
Right now, Avery had no idea what she wanted. Her phone beeped, indicating she had another call.
The name “Unknown Caller” flashed across the screen. For that reason, she didn’t bother answering it. Either the caller had to be a telemarketer or Laz being sneaky…again.
A beat after the phone stopped ringing, it chimed to signal that the caller left a voicemail message.
“You want me to come by?” Graciela offered.
Normally, Avery would have said no. This time she didn’t want to be sitting there alone with her thoughts. “Yes. Bring wine and spirits. I’m ready for a girls’ night.”
Graciela squealed. “I’ll be there in thirty minutes. I’ll have wine and chocolates.”
Avery smiled. “Sounds perfect.”
After disconnecting the call, Avery saw that she had a voicemail message waiting for her. She sighed before listening to it. The last thing she needed would be another piano recital from Laz. Her heart wouldn’t be able to take it.
She put her phone on speaker and played the message.
“Hey, Avie. It’s your Kitty Girl, Kat.” Kat completed her introduction with a giggle.
Avery sat up taller, mainly because Kat had called her “Avie.” No one had done that before.
“Haven’t seen you since New York, and I’m back in your town tonight. I have a show and I would love to talk to you about the next step in our relationship. I’ll leave your name at the door for you to come backstage so that we can talk.” Kat left the information about the club on the message. “See you there.”
Avery stood and looked at herself in the mirror across the room. Would she even go? Her report findings showed that she won’t make it. Maybe she could flip that script.
Before she did anything, Avery called her friend back.
“Please don’t tell me you’ve changed your mind about me coming over.” Exhaustion filled Graciela’s voice.
“Yes and no.” Avery headed to her bedroom. “Want to see a show toni
ght instead?”
If Kat wanted to see Avery, she would have to do it with Graciela in tow. At this point, Avery could use all the backup she could get.
Hours later, Avery sat in the dressing room of a star who had performed for royalty. Getting Graciela into the show had been a bonus, but they wouldn’t let her into Kat’s dressing room. She would have to wait backstage with the rest of the groupies.
Avery couldn’t believe her luck. She strolled around Kat’s dressing room where her makeup and wardrobe stylists waited for the star.
Moments later, the door flew open and ushered in loud, clamorous shouting and screams from the audience. Kat strolled in wearing thigh-high white boots and a sparkly leotard.
“Whew, what a show.” Kat’s gaze connected with Avery’s. “You made it.” She squealed and galloped over to her. She pulled Avery into a hug. “So glad you’re here. I’ve been thinking about you and your voice for a while.” She pointed to the couch to request Avery have a seat.
“Thank you. That’s very nice for you to say.” Avery did sit and watch Kat get attended to by three different people.
Each person took control of some aspect of Kat’s look. One person worked on removing her boots. Another got her out of her jewelry. The third undid her outfit.
“Thank you for coming out. Did you enjoy the show?” Kat ducked behind a partition.
“Yes, I did. I can’t imagine commanding a room like that.” Avery crossed her legs.
“You have to see it to believe it.” Kat giggled. When she reemerged, she had on a pink flower-embroidered silk robe. “Everyone, get out.” She pointed to the door, and then sat down next to Avery. When her team exited, Kat continued. “I wanted the opportunity to talk to you by yourself.” She scooted closer to Avery. “So, Sanaa tells me you still haven’t signed their contract. What’s wrong? Is the money not enough?”
Avery put her hand to her chest. “Oh, gosh no.”
If Sanaa really wanted to pay her that amount of money for doing what she loved, she would be a fool to turn it down. Too bad Laz’s final words and his actions still powered her decisions.
Love Like Crazy Page 26