With the First Goodbye (Thirty-Eight Book 5)

by Len Webster

  “Good morning, Doc,” she said as kindly as she could.

  The elderly doctor sniffed and shoved his hands into the pockets of his white coat. “We’ll have to wait until your mother recovers from the neutropenia fever caused by the first round of chemotherapy. She’ll have to stay in the hospital for at least a couple of days, and we’ll keep her on antibiotics. This isn’t rare, Josie. It happens. You were right to have her admitted.”

  Okay.

  At least, we haven’t hit worse.

  But the thought continued to linger. There was no way Josie could continue with her day and not know. After a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, she decided to ask. Not asking meant she’d end up knowing far too late to be able to prepare herself.

  “Doc, is there any chance this could …” She trailed off, hating the fear that laced her voice. She had once been confident and so sure of herself, but since her mother’s diagnosis of breast cancer ten months ago, Josie’s life had spiralled into uncertainty. It meant changes for not only her but also for her mother. It also meant re-evaluating her life.

  Her rebellious days were over. Days spent dating lowlife DJs were behind her. It was time to stop punishing her father by getting lost in men who would never treat her the way her mother would have liked. They had never done anything for her. The sex had been mediocre. It lacked at best. Her last boyfriend had been less than a lover. But her father, when he cared, hadn’t approved, and it had been just what she was looking for.

  But when her mother had told Josie of her cancer, life was no longer about her. Her mother needed her attention and time. That was when law school took a tumble. Though her tutors were disappointed, she hadn’t confided in the details of her life. Not yet. Not until it was necessary. Not until she was on the brink of being kicked out of Deakin University.

  “Josie,” the doctor breathed out. “The cancer coming back isn’t uncommon. But we need to run more tests. Yes, it could be aggressive, but we’ll have to see how your mother reacts to the chemo. We’ll know more soon. It’s best if she stays in the hospital. We can’t risk her going home, especially since she doesn’t have anyone to look after her.”

  “I could—”

  “I know you could,” he said, interrupting her. “Looking after your mother won’t be as easy as you think it would be. It’s a lot of pressure. You do have Power of Attorney, so if you wish to, you can. But I highly recommend you continue life as you have been. It will calm your mother.”

  He’s right.

  Continuing life will make her happier.

  I can’t give up on law school.

  I can’t let her see how this affects me.

  Josie bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from crying. She was hardly the crier. Now, her tears snuck up on her, and she had no idea how to handle them besides accepting they were forming and then falling.

  “You’re right. Thanks, Doc. Is she all right to see visitors?”

  The doctor removed a hand from his coat pocket and settled it on her shoulder. Then he made a slow nod. “She is. But keep the conversation light. She needs plenty of rest.”

  She gave him a tight smile, making no promises as she stepped around him and entered her mother’s hospital room. The first thing Josie noticed was the paleness of her mother’s face and her hollow cheeks. The vision before her was not the warm and bright mother who had raised her. The smiles were no longer the same. Instead, they were broken and never complete. Her mother had tried, but the cancer showed when she attempted to smile. There lay a woman who had already fought one cancer battle and was now enduring battle number two. But this time, Josie wasn’t sure how much fight her mother had left. Though she was determined and mentally willing, her body told another story.

  “Mornin’, Mamma,” Josie said sweetly as she made her way to the side of the hospital bed.

  “My sweet Josephine, good morning,” she said softly and reached for her hand.

  Josie tried to hide her flinch at the contact of her mother’s cold touch. Emily Faulkner gently squeezed her daughter’s hand and attempted one of those tired smiles. Josie placed the bouquet on the side table and pulled her hand from her mother’s just long enough to pull the visitor’s chair closer to the bed and sit on it. Then she reached for her mother’s hand and rubbed her thumbs across her bony knuckles.

  “How are you feeling?” Josie asked, unable to remove the concern that seemed to echo loudly in her voice.

  Her mother’s other hand covered Josie’s. “Haven’t felt this good in years.”

  The teasing tone in her voice had Josie chuckling. “You’re such a bullshitter.”

  “Language, Josephine!” her mother scolded.

  Rolling her eyes, she let out a groan. “Mamma, I’m twenty-two years old.”

  “I don’t care. You’re still my little girl. Use language like that again and watch out—” Emily’s wince had Josie getting out of her chair, running her eyes over her mother’s frail body to find the source of her pain.

  “Do you want me to get the doctor?”

  Her mother shook her head. “Don’t be silly. I told you; I’m the best I’ve been in a long time. Now, are you ready to see your father tonight?”

  Josie sank back down on the chair and let out a heavy sigh. It was her mother’s idea to see him. He would only be in the country for a few days with the German Chancellor. The only reason Josie hadn’t refused was because her mother’s eyes twinkled when she had suggested she see her father. But her interactions with him were anything but warm and loving. In fact, it felt like an inconvenience for both her and Ambassador Jeff Faulkner.

  “Mamma, I don’t think seeing him is a good idea. Especially with you being in the hospital.”

  “Josephine, your father is hardly in the country. It will be good for both of you. You need a nice dinner to unwind. Working at the bakery and uni is a lot to handle.” Her mother gave her that ‘I am your mother and I am right!’ expression, pursing lips and all.

  Josie let out a lengthy exhale and conceded defeat. If it made her mother happy, she would do it.

  “But no mention of my health,” she reminded.

  “Stupid instruction, but all right.”

  Her mother lifted their clutched hands and brought Josie’s knuckles to her lips, pressing dry kisses on her skin. Then she said, “I love you, Josephine. You know I will always love you.” Emily’s voice had softened in that tone that worried Josie. It was delivered in that ‘I’d better say I love you in case it’s the last time’ way, and it caused a crack in her heart.

  The tears flowed.

  Fucking tears!

  She knew it was okay to cry. Josie was sure her mother would appreciate her tears, but Josie needed to show her mother that if she was strong, then she could be, too. That she could beat cancer for the second time in less than a year. But Josie knew the reality of the situation, and that was that the second time could be the last time.

  “I love you, too, Mamma,” she said as she stood, leant over, and kissed her mother’s head. “I love you so much.”

  Julian: Max, do you read me? Over.

  Max: I read you. Over.

  Julian: Have you checked the results? Over.

  Max: No. Been at work and about to go have drinks with some of the lawyers from the office. Over.

  Julian: Want to know? Over.

  Max: You’ll tell me regardless. Over.

  Julian: Very true. Over.

  Max: This is the part where you tell me if my best friend is the world champion. Over.

  Julian: Oh, yeah! Over.

  Max: Julian, seriously. You seem not to know the concept of telling people information. Over.

  Julian: Settle petal. Rob’s the WORLD CHAMPION! Over.

  Max: FUCKING KNEW HE WOULD BE!

  Julian: You forgot to say over. Over.

  Max: Shit. Sorry. Over.

  Julian: And get this, HE’S MARRIED! He and Ally eloped last week while they were in New York seeing her specialist. Ove
r.

  Max felt his jaw drop. His best friend, the recluse in the group, was not only the Men’s Single Scull World Champion but was now a husband. Max had been so busy with clients that the only time he’d seen them was when Ally had moved to Melbourne after being admitted to the hospital for kidney failure. Because of his heavy workload, he wasn’t able to travel to France to see Rob’s race. But his best friend had done it. Robert Moors was now the world champion and husband to a beautiful and sweet wife. The same wife Max had flirted with many times before. The jealousy he felt engulfed him. Sure, he was happy Rob married the love of his life, but for Max, he wanted that. Rob had always shied away.

  For Max, that was all he wanted.

  Real, honest, truthful love.

  No manipulations like with Sarah.

  And no bullshit games like with Andrea.

  Unfortunately for Max, neither of the two warranted his interest right now. Work was overwhelming, and Andrea had made it easy by never returning any of his calls or emails. Some days, he hated her. Hated that she didn’t act on her attraction the moment she had broken up with Noel. All Max had gotten was a message from her that read: I broke up with him. And that was that. He’d messaged her that he’d take the next flight out to her, but she had said no, that she needed to be alone. She was confused and wasn’t even sure she had any feelings towards him. After several attempts to contact her, Max had given up. He had thought he’d go running back to Sarah, but he hadn’t. And for that, he was proud of himself. Instead, he had submerged himself in work rather than sex.

  He had a habit and was working his way to correcting it.

  Sarah had left his system months ago.

  Eight, if he were honest with himself.

  He’d forgotten all about her the moment he’d stood on that bridge with Josephine Faulkner. She’d been hard to forget. He’d promised to dance with her at Noel and Clara’s wedding, but a call from Sarah had interrupted them. Then Julian had arrived, and suddenly, she was gone. When he had asked Clara where she had gone to, all Noel’s wife had said was that she had to go back to the city. He hadn’t pressed for more, refusing to show his concern and his interest in Josie. But he was curious. He hadn’t seen her since the wedding. Not even at Noel and Clara’s goodbye dinner several months back. It seemed she had vanished. With his growing list of clients and pressure from his father, he had no time to learn more about her.

  Work consumed him.

  Work set him on the straight and narrow.

  Shaking his head, Max pulled the key out of his Porsche’s ignition and got out of his luxury car. It had been an unnecessary purchase, but with money sitting in his account, he splurged. He represented men, women, and companies he despised. Truth be told, if it hadn’t been for his father, Maxwell Sheridan would have never become a lawyer. When he locked his car, he noticed several of the senior lawyers already gathered in front of Pa La Blue on Lygon Street. The Michelin star French restaurant was one of Melbourne’s finest—add in the bar, and it was Gordon Sheridan Lawyers’ favourite after-work places to go.

  Upon reaching the group of men in expensive tailored suits, Max felt his phone vibrate once more. He glanced down to see that Julian had messaged him again.

  Julian: Are you okay? Upset that Ally’s off the market or something? Over.

  Max’s brows furrowed. Sure, he had flirted with Ally and thought she was beautiful, but he was in no way interested in being with her. He had sworn that Andrea would be his last. That he’d never be with any of his best friends’ girlfriends or exes. Andrea had left him scorned when she wanted to brush that kiss under the rug. Gripping his phone tight, he began to reply.

  Max: I’m happy for them. Seeing Rob after she was admitted, I can’t doubt how in love he is with her. If giving a kidney isn’t love, then I don’t know what is. Hey, I’d better go. I’m having after-work drinks with some of the guys. Tell Rob and Ally congratulations for me and that I’m happy for them. I’ll call him later tonight. Over.

  Julian: I’ll let them know. You should have seen her father when he found out they eloped. Best thing I’ve ever seen. Oh! Blondie says hi! We’ll see you next week. Over.

  Max: Tell Stevie I said hi, too. See you all when you get back. Over.

  Satisfied with his response, Max shoved his phone into his jacket pocket and nodded at Greg, Harry, and Sully. They were all older than Max was, but they were the more welcoming of the lawyers at his father’s firm. Most hadn’t liked the fact that he was the boss’ son. Max didn’t care. He’d shown he was more than a competent lawyer with his work. He didn’t go around seeking their approval.

  “Ready to go inside?” Sully asked, loosening his grey tie as excitement twinkled in his brown eyes. Since his wife had left and then served him divorce papers, Sully had wanted to go out for drinks more often to celebrate his newfound freedom.

  Max nodded. “Definitely. Let’s get inside.”

  Harry, in his early forties with his auburn hair and green eyes, held open the door, and the men went inside the restaurant. Max couldn’t wait to unwind, have a drink, and forget about his women problems as he cut into a tender steak. He’d charge it to the firm as he always did.

  As he passed tables on his way to the bar, he heard a waitress say, “I’m sorry to disturb you, Miss Faulkner, but it’s been twenty minutes. Would you like to dine alone, or I could get whatever you’d like wrapped up to go?”

  Miss Faulkner.

  Max halted.

  His heart sped up its beats as he repeated that name in his head.

  It couldn’t possibly be Josie …

  Spinning around, he noticed Josie sitting alone at a table to his left. She glanced down at her phone and sighed. Her brown hair was curled, and from what he could see, she wore a dark red dress.

  “I’ll just go, thank you,” Josie said and began to stand.

  His next actions appeared desperate, but she had glammed herself up, and he wasn’t going to let her night go to waste.

  “Josie,” Max said as he took a step towards her.

  Her vibrant blue eyes flashed in surprise, and his heart filled with that familiar warmth he’d felt on the bridge with her.

  “Max,” she breathed, sounding almost relieved. The thought she was happy to see him caused butterflies to fill his stomach. He hadn’t felt that sensation since he was a teenager and had kissed Sarah Collins for the very first time.

  “How are you?” he asked as she tilted her chin up at him.

  The smile she made was sweet, far sweeter than any other smile ever directed at him. “I’m good,” she said. “But I’m just about to leave.”

  “Stay—”

  “Max, you coming?” Sully asked, irritated, behind him.

  Max had clenched his eyes shut, breathed out, and said, “Sorry, Jos, give me a second.” He then spun around to see the pissed-off expression and stance from Sully. Max ignored it. If Sully wanted to go drink his marital problems away, Max would let him. He hadn’t seen Josie in eight months and wanted to catch up with her. He also wanted to know why she was alone in an expensive restaurant. “You guys go ahead. I’ll see you all on Monday.”

  The men from the firm all shook their heads at him and then retreated to the bar. Max turned back to find Josie’s brows scrunched together.

  “Can I join you?” Max asked as sweetly as he could. It had been easy. It came naturally to him around her.

  She peered past him and eyed his co-workers. “You have plans,” she stated.

  “You’re more important.” Three words that freely slipped past his lips. He was just as surprised by his comment as she was.

  What the fuck, Max?

  Seriously, control what comes out of your mouth.

  Josie is your friend.

  Josie blinked at him and then sat properly in her chair as she gestured for him to take the seat in front of her. He acted quickly and sat facing her. Her smile was breathtaking and filled with relief and joy. He wasn’t sure if it was his presence that di
d that, but he hoped so. It was insane how much he wanted to be the reason for that smile.

  “That was nice of you to say,” she said, sounding almost unsure of herself. Her gaze fell to the table as she played with the cloth napkin. “I must look pretty pathetic right now, huh?”

  His fists became tight balls. It surprised him how enraged he was at her belittling herself. Reactions he had never had before. “Did some guy not show up?”

  She let out a small laugh, and her eyes met him. “Yes and no.”

  “What?”

  Josie took a deep breath and shrugged. “My dad didn’t show. You’re sitting where he should be. I’ve been waiting almost thirty minutes. I just messaged his assistant and …” She paused as her phone beeped. She glanced down at it, and her lips had pressed into a tight line before she glanced up at Max. “He never left Canberra.”

  “What an asshole,” Max growled.

  “Yeah, well, I’m not very high on his priority list. Guess he did me a favour. I didn’t even want to be here,” she confessed.

  Though she attempted to give him a reassuring smile, Max saw right through it. He took in the pain that flashed in her vibrant blue eyes. A glimmer of longing, as if she wanted her father’s attention, existed, but he knew she’d never voice that out loud. From what little he knew of her, she appeared to have a lot of pride when it came to her father.

  “Well, he did me a favour. I get to see you and not have to hear about my co-worker’s divorce. Can you believe the guy is a lawyer and about to lose everything to his cheating wife?”

  Josie brushed her brown curls back and laughed. “You’re better off hiring me than that guy, then.”

  “How is uni going?”

  She shrugged. “It’s going. Everyone in my units has their placements for next year, and here I am, not even able to convince my father to dinner. Not gonna make a very great lawyer, am I?”