Just Eight Months Old...

by Tori Carrington

  “Furgeson?” His grip on the receiver tightened. Hannah leaned forward, immediately sensing the change in his demeanor. He wasn’t talking to Lisa anymore.

  “I understand.” Silence. “Yes.” He placed his hand tightly over the receiver and mouthed to McKay, “Baker’s Oil Field.”

  The agent nodded and quickly left the room.

  Removing his hand from the receiver, Chad spoke.

  “Agreed. In an hour. Alone.”

  Chad’s gaze trailed to where Hannah stood facing away from him in the open back doorway, her arms crossed over her chest. She seemed so distant somehow. Alone. Untouchable. Bonny was safely tucked away in the corner in her stroller sawing some logs, while he had three FBI rookies outfitting him for the meeting ahead at the oil field.

  Since the call had come in, he hadn’t had a moment to breathe, much less talk to Hannah. And despite the adrenaline flooding his veins, he wanted to talk to Hannah more than anything right now.

  An agent yanked at the Velcro pulls of the bullet-proof vest they’d outfitted him with, securing it tightly in place. Chad pulled down his T-shirt then shrugged into a denim shirt one of the men had supplied. Yet another agent said, “The microphone is hidden in the neck of your T-shirt here. The earpiece shouldn’t be visible—”

  “I know the drill, Agent. Are you done?” The three men looked at one another, then at McKay, who stood nearby. McKay gave an almost imperceptible nod and the three men filed out of the room. Chad watched them go then looked back at Hannah, barely noticing when McKay and Jack Stokes left the room as well.

  If Hannah was aware of the goings-on behind her, she didn’t let on. Her posture was stiff, her fingers white-knuckled where they curved around her rib cage.

  Chad swallowed thickly then moved to stand behind her, looking over her shoulder at the dark night beyond. The air blasting in through the open door was thick and sticky, making him edgier still.

  “Why do you have to do this, Chad?” Hannah asked quietly.

  He hadn’t known what to expect. Maybe for her to demand to come along, to see this to the end as a team, a partnership. But this was miles away from that.

  She turned to face him, dropping her hands to her sides. “I mean, now that Morgan has made contact, arranged for a meet, why not just let McKay and his men take over from here?”

  Why not indeed? Chad’s mind filled with a half dozen reasons. That Morgan had made contact with him. That he’d agreed to go to the meet…alone. That he needed to do this so McKay wouldn’t charge him for impersonating a federal officer. But all those reasons lost steam when he saw the concern that shadowed Hannah’s blue, blue eyes.

  She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth then released it. He found the innocent movement sweet and provocative all at once. “There isn’t anything I can do to talk you out of this, is there?”

  It was more a statement of fact than a question. Chad glanced at Bonny’s sleeping face. At the way her thumb hung halfway out of her cherub mouth. His heart gave a painful lurch unlike any he’d felt before.

  There was something Hannah could do, he realized, just as surely as she must. She could use their child, their daughter, as an excuse for him to back out of the deal. She could hold Bonny up and say, “You don’t want to put your job ahead of another child, do you, Chad?”

  He dragged his hand over his face then looked at Hannah again. That she didn’t say those things, that she didn’t try to use Bonny to control his actions meant the world to him.

  And if he did rip off the vest right now? Call in McKay and tell him one of his guys was going to have to go to the site? What would happen? Nothing on the legal end. McKay wouldn’t arrest him, he was certain. What if he opened his arms to Hannah and proclaimed his love for her? He knew that was what she wanted from him, what she needed. And he was pretty sure that no matter how much pain he’d caused her, she’d slip right into his embrace without a backward glance.

  But he couldn’t do either. Solely because he would be the one always looking backward. Preoccupied with the baggage he even now carried on his shoulders.

  “This is just something I have to do, Hannah.”

  She nodded once, solemnly, as if expecting his words.

  It was the only thing he could do because frankly the uncertainty of where he went from there, where he and Hannah and Bonny went from there, was driving him crazy. All he knew was that the longer he delayed the end of this case, the more time he bought to keep Hannah next to him. The more room he had to make sense of the answer that seemed forever on the fringe of his consciousness, the better. Despite his request that she do just that a short time ago, the thought of her going back to New York with Bonny, leaving him behind because of his wavering, was one he didn’t even want to consider.

  He had to do this because it was all he knew to do.

  He wanted to say more to Hannah, to try to explain all this even though she looked like she didn’t expect any more than she’d already gotten.

  The door swung inward. “Five minutes,” McKay said.

  Chad gestured him away then the door closed again.

  Hannah looked at him expectantly. Chad fought the impulse to tug up his T-shirt and rip the vest open so he could breathe. If only he thought that would help. “The truth of it is, I have to do this right now because…because it’s the only thing I can do—” He abruptly turned and stepped a couple of feet away, trying to put his thoughts to words. “Aw, hell, Hannah, I don’t know what to tell you. If you had said yes to my proposal earlier, taken the ring…I don’t know. Maybe it would have made a difference. Maybe it wouldn’t. Perhaps it would only make me doubly determined to get Morgan for having put you and Bonny in danger these past few days. I just don’t know….”

  He didn’t expect a response so he wasn’t surprised when he didn’t get one.

  He hadn’t been surprised, either, when she turned down his uncomfortably awkward proposal, made while they were handcuffed to the stairs, of all things. Oh, yeah, that moment he’d been shocked. Isn’t that what she’d wanted fifteen months ago? For them to get married?

  Although in retrospect, he supposed he’d always known somewhere deep inside that Hannah would never have agreed to marry him for only the sake of their daughter. She’d never made it a secret that she wanted the whole nine yards. More than just the traditional wedding and the white picket fence. She wanted him completely, heart and soul.

  His heart he had given her long ago. It was his soul he feared was no longer his to give.

  After she’d said no to his proposal, he also recognized himself for the heel he was. He suspected that he’d asked her to marry him more to ease his own conscience than any real attempt to right what was wrong between them. Because to do that would mean facing down his own demons.

  Perhaps that was another reason he needed to go to that oil field tonight.

  He started when he felt the feather-light touch of her hand on his shoulder. He fought the urge to relax against it, to give himself over to the comfort she offered.

  “This is the same thing all over again, isn’t it?” he said as much to himself as to her. “It seems that I’ve come full circle. And I’m scared to death that I’m going to make the same mistakes all over again.” He stared at the closed door. “But what scares me even more is not seeing it through.” He closed his eyes. “Don’t you see, if I don’t go through with this, I’m afraid I’ll see myself for the coward I am.”

  He felt the warmth of Hannah’s body as she pressed her front against his back. Her arms snaked around his waist. Seeming to sense the Kevlar vest underneath, her hands stilled against his chest. She cleared her throat. “You’re not a coward, Chad. There are a thousand other things I could call you, but never a coward.” He heard her swallow as she rested her cheek against the back of his shoulder. “A lesser man would have run in the other direction when I introduced him to his daughter. Not you. You stuck it out. Oh, yeah, sure you said it was only for the case, but I never believed that for
a second. Well, okay, maybe for a second because my mind couldn’t grasp your true motivations then. But you never do anything for money, so I know you didn’t stick around because of that. You weren’t an FBI agent because it paid well. You didn’t even choose bounty hunting because of the cash.” She gave a quiet laugh. “You’re the guy who blew our entire savings to buy me a sports car for my thirtieth birthday, remember?”

  He began to pull away from her, but she held tight. “Hold on a minute. I’m not finished yet.”

  Chad waited, his heart banging against the wall of his chest.

  Hannah’s arms tightened around his waist. “I’m not exactly sure how to put this, but I just wanted to tell you that no matter what you do tonight, or tomorrow or even the next day, I know you’ll do the right thing, Chad. And no, this doesn’t have anything to do with your proposal. This isn’t about me anymore. It’s not about me and you, though I won’t lie to you. I wish there were a me and you to talk about.”

  She drew in a deep breath. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I trust you, Chad. I trust you to do what’s right for all of us. Even if you don’t trust yourself.”

  She slipped her arms from around his waist. The sudden absence of her heat from his back made Chad want to groan as she stepped away.

  The door opened and this time McKay stepped into the room. But Chad ignored him and turned toward Hannah.

  He glimpsed it there in her face, her love for him. It was obvious in the brightness of her eyes, the color in her cheeks, the damp fullness of her lips. It was completely unselfish and fathomless and present, though unspoken. It hit him like a blow to the gut. And made him wonder exactly what she saw written on his face.

  Before he knew what she was doing, she slowly stepped forward until mere inches separated them. She pressed her palms against his protected chest, then pressed her lips lightly against his, her eyes holding his captive.

  “Time to go,” McKay said gruffly.

  Hannah pulled away. Chad wanted to groan and pull her to him again, kiss her in the way he longed to, thoroughly and without reservations. But he didn’t. Instead he watched as she gave him a small nod.

  Torn between wanting to stay and needing to go, Chad turned and followed McKay out the door.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Hannah sat holding Bonny in the back of a nondescript dark sedan that drove toward Baker’s Oil Field. In the front, Randall drove and another agent sat beside him, passing on McKay’s orders through a cell phone to Chad, who rode in one of the leading sedans driven by Jack Stokes. Hannah shivered and held Bonny a little tighter, earning her a quiet protest from the baby. Before leaving the house, Chad had demanded she stay there, well out of the way with Bonny. She had staunchly refused, and it was McKay who told an adamant Chad that he would make sure she and his daughter were kept well out of the way of danger.

  Houston’s night lights flickered outside the windows, but Hannah didn’t see them.

  Everything had changed drastically in the days since Elliott Blackstone had given her this assignment. The case had expanded from the simple task of bringing two fugitives in to stand trial, to encompass a microprocessor chip smuggling ring, a murder and a kidnapping.

  Hannah pressed her lips against Bonny’s sweet-smelling temple, uncaring that the baby was chomping on the chain of her necklace. Life was so much easier when all the bail-jumpers were like Eddie the Snake. The type who were habitual liars and thieves, more danger to themselves than anyone else. She had no problem tracking and apprehending people like that.

  In the pocket of her skirt, Hannah fingered the plastic tube of chips she’d held on to even after she’d given the key to McKay, who’d arranged to have the remainder of the chips picked up from the storage locker and put into the trunk of the car Chad rode in.

  “Do you think this will work out okay?” Hannah spoke the words into the empty air in front of her.

  McKay met her gaze in the rearview mirror. “We’ll be in unfamiliar territory dealing with an unknown quantity in Robert Morgan.” He grinned. “Everything will be fine.” His gaze trailed to Bonny and the smile left his face.

  Hannah didn’t appreciate his attempt at humor. But she hadn’t been only referring to now. She wanted, needed to know how things would be when this was all over. The last person to answer that question for her was Randy McKay. The only man who could give her a clue rode three car lengths ahead, driving into who knew what.

  Sitting in the back of that car, out of harm’s way, out of the direct action, unable to help Chad, she’d never felt so utterly, entirely, completely helpless in her life.

  “Mah!”

  Hannah pulled back to look at her daughter’s shadowy face. Had she just tried to say what she thought she had?

  It was in that one moment that she realized she had been humbled only one other time. The moment when she’d given birth to Bonny. When she’d stared at the tiny, pink, wrinkled human being crying at the top of her lungs she even now held and had no idea what to do with her except love her.

  Maybe that was what she needed to do with Chad. Just love him.

  Bonny laid her head against Hannah’s shoulder, her breath soft against her neck. Hannah closed her eyes and smoothed her daughter’s hair back. A simple action. A reassuring action.

  The car was silent except for the hum of the engine as they moved steadily toward the meet.

  “Get Hogan on the line,” McKay said. The agent in the passenger’s seat spoke quietly, then handed a cell phone to McKay.

  “I want to make one thing perfectly clear to you, Hogan. You are not to give the chips to Morgan under any circumstances, do you hear me?”

  Hannah discreetly leaned closer, trying to listen in. She couldn’t hear a thing, but judging by the frown on McKay’s face, whatever Chad had said hadn’t made the agent happy.

  “Don’t you dare patronize me, Hogan. You kept the whereabouts of the chips from me until I had no choice but to allow you to take them to the meeting. I will not risk losing them now, do you understand? This is my behind on the line here.”

  McKay cleared his throat. “You should reach the site in ten minutes. My men are already set up. Remember,” he said more urgently. “You must look like you are going to give him the chips. Once he touches one of the boxes, we’ll have his neck, lock, stock and barrel.”

  McKay handed the cell phone back to the other agent.

  “Why doesn’t someone turn on the lights?” Hannah squinted into the inky blackness of the night, hating that she couldn’t make out where Chad was some fifty yards on the other side of a small, man-made rise. With the car no longer humming beneath them, the silence was all-encompassing, encouraging her to say something to make certain she could still hear.

  “Are you sure this is it?” she leaned forward to ask the other agent. McKay was outside talking on that cursed cell phone of his where she couldn’t hear anything.

  “This is the place.”

  Hannah strained to make something, anything out of the night. She couldn’t see anything. She gently placed a sleeping Bonny down on the seat, covering her with her blanket, then climbed out of the car. She was careful to be as quiet as possible as she neared McKay.

  “What’s going on?” she whispered anxiously. The air was surprisingly dry and cool, smelling of oil and dust. She shivered, hating the fear that filled her. “Do you think Morgan’s here? Waiting and watching from the shadows?”

  “I don’t know.” McKay pushed the button to light the dial on his watch. “We’re five minutes early.”

  “Oh, terrific,” Hannah whispered. “We have a punctual crook.”

  The sound of Randy’s footsteps as he moved to the front driver’s door caught Hannah’s attention. “Tell the driver to turn the headlights on,” he told the other agent.

  Within a blink of an eye, headlights on the car Hannah guessed Chad had been riding in flicked on, revealing the tall rig that earned the spot its name. Hannah stared at the rig that pumped relentlessly, s
iphoning oil from the deceptively dry-looking ground.

  “It looks so menacing.”

  Tires spitting up dirt and gravel sounded from a distance. McKay accepted a radio from the other agent then turned a few knobs until Hannah could hear Chad’s voice.

  “Don’t look now, but our three o’clock has arrived.”

  Hannah turned to watch an approaching car. As it grew nearer, she noted it was the dark Lincoln that had followed Chad to the airport earlier.

  “Here we go.” Hannah barely heard Chad’s words. She could only concentrate on the twin beams of light shining directly on him in the distance.

  “Chad, please don’t do anything stupid,” she murmured to herself. “If you have to give him the chips, do it. Don’t risk your life. I…Bonny…our daughter needs her father.”

  “You realize I just heard you say that.”

  Hannah blinked, not particularly caring what McKay heard or didn’t hear.

  The Lincoln stopped twenty feet away from Chad’s car. For long, quiet moments, nothing happened. They were terrifying moments during which Hannah anticipated the worst.

  “What do you think he’s doing?” she whispered.

  “Making sure Chad came alone,” McKay said. Hannah’s heart jumped into her throat. “What about Stokes?”

  “At this point, it doesn’t matter much, does it? Either Morgan wants the chips or he doesn’t.”

  Finally one of the back doors of the Lincoln opened and a figure stepped out. From her vantage point, Hannah couldn’t make out much. The blinding headlights and the darkness surrounding them saw to that. She anxiously shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

  “Where are they?” a man’s voice demanded. Hannah had heard that voice before—it belonged to one of the men at the Houston airport.

  McKay adjusted the volume of the radio as Hannah watched Chad remove something—no doubt the plastic tube of chips—from his jeans pocket then hold his hand in the man’s direction.

  “Just a sample,” Chad’s voice intoned. “You’ll see the rest after we see Furgeson.”