Raw- Rebirth

by Belle Aurora

  The little monster’s eyes lit up. “And Uncle Happy and Nikki and Dave?” When I nodded, he went on, “And Aunt Manda?”

  A short laugh escaped me. “Yep. Uncle Zep and Nonno Tony too. Everyone.”

  “Yes,” he offered immediately, grinning hard. And I was glad for it.

  God knew I needed the distraction.

  Twitch was noticeably absent during dinner, but only my wonderful, pushy Dave had the guts to ask the question everyone was thinking.

  “Where’s Señor Gets-Mad-A-Lot?”

  It was after dark. A.J. was in bed after overdosing on chocolate ice cream and passing out on Ana’s lap. Molly was in her room talking to Tama on the phone, which left me able to speak freely. “I don’t know.”

  The entire table went silent, and I forced out a laugh before looking around. “Anyone have any idea where he went?” I settled my gaze on Happy. “With a duffle bag.” Then to Julius. “In the middle of the night?” My eyes turned to Papa Tony. “Anyone?” When I turned to face Zep, my voice hushed. “Because I’m going quietly crazy here with every hour that passes. I mean—” My desperate eyes found Nikki’s. “—I don’t even know if he is coming back.”

  Nobody responded, and that in itself spoke volumes.

  “Don’t be silly,” Nikki started surely, breaking the silence. “He wouldn’t do that.” Her tone lowered a decibel. “Not again.” But her confidence fell as she looked to Happy and found him peering at Julius, an unspoken question in his eyes. “Would he?”

  Dave jeered, “Yes, he would.” He held his hands up in surrender and it was directed at me. “I’m sorry, babe, but....” At my pale and drawn face, he drifted off, knowing I wasn’t in the mood for his sass.

  I held my empty wine glass out to Manda, and she filled it without hesitating. I twisted to face her. “He didn’t talk to you?”

  I was desperate here. Completely frantic.

  “No, sorry,” uttered Manda apologetically, putting a hand to my arm in consolation. She then nudged her husband.

  Vander shrugged. “Didn’t say shite to me, darlin’.”

  My head fell back and my face bunched in despair. “Jesus.” Putting a hand to my forehead, I smacked it, fighting tears, and spoke through gritted teeth. “Where is he?”

  “Cuba.”

  Dropping my hand, my eyes settled on Zep. “What?”

  He cleared his throat. “He’s in Cuba.” When my lips parted and my brow knitted in query, he added, “Looking for someone.”

  “How do you know this?” No offense, but, “Why would he tell you?”

  But Zep kept quiet, torturing me with that intense stare of his.

  My heart began to race. “Is he okay?”

  Zep nodded slowly.

  I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “You’ve spoken to him?”

  An affirmative nod was all I got. Thankfully, it was all I needed, and when my body slumped and I could finally breathe again, Zep uttered, “Just trust him, okay?”

  Trust him.

  I was trying here. I really was.

  I thought about it a long moment before taking in a deep breath, and letting out a breathy, “Yeah. Okay.”

  And when I downed my entire glass of wine in one hit, nobody acted surprised.

  My eyes scanned the empty driveway, wearily.

  It had been three nights since Twitch had left, and although I checked my phone every few minutes, there were no calls. No text messages. Zero notifications.

  My phone came up as empty as I felt.

  But as exhausted as I was, I looked down at the ring on my left hand, and something inside me held onto the sliver of hope that was vying for attention.

  He’s coming back. I know he is.

  My heartbeat faltered.

  He has to.

  Walking back to my bedroom, I climbed into bed and did as I did every night.

  I left a light on.

  Chapter

  Thirty-Six

  Ling

  What are you doing here, Ling Ling?

  I don’t fucking know.

  No matter how hard I thought about it, I couldn’t work out what chain of events lead to me being here today, but here I was, and I couldn’t leave. Not until I saw her.

  Standing in the dim coolness of the crisp April evening, I lay in wait. Watching. Waiting for a glimpse. And when she finally came into view, my brow lowered in incredulity.

  “Well, fuck,” I uttered quietly.

  Seriously?

  Okay. So, Asya Sadik wasn’t what I expected.

  I rolled my eyes in the dark, sighing in frustration.

  Of course. She just had to be in a wheelchair, didn’t she? Because why not?

  My lip curled.

  Great. Just fucking great.

  Sure, I was a monster, but even I couldn’t kill a helpless woman in a wheelchair.

  No.

  I couldn’t do this.

  But as I moved from my shadowy hiding spot and turned to leave, the back door opened, and she stalled me with, “You just gonna stand there all night, or you coming in?”

  Turning slowly, I narrowed my eyes on the willowy woman. A slow smile pulled at my lips and I looked her up and down.

  She was nothing. She was vapor.

  I was beautiful.

  She was... sick.

  I was a deadly fucking viper.

  She was a deflated balloon.

  My reign was real, and the terror surrounding me had grown men falling to their knees.

  I glanced down at her blanket-covered lap.

  She couldn’t even fall to her knees if I pushed her.

  Disgust ran through me.

  She was pitiful.

  So why the hell did he love her enough to leave me?

  My cherry-red lips split into a grin as I tilted my head, and muttered, “Aren’t you afraid I’m going to kill you?”

  Her returning smirk had me marginally impressed. “Bold of you to assume I want to live.”

  My brows arched, my lips pursing at the odd amount of confidence that flowed around the clearly ill woman.

  Touché, bitch.

  “Come in.” She wheeled herself backward into the house before turning her back on me. My, oh my. She was a daring little cunt. “I want to talk to you.”

  A short moment passed before I took in a deep breath and followed her inside, closing the door behind me with my leather-gloved hands. She watched me closely as I approached. Just so we were clear on my position, I held my magnificent rose-gold .45 Glock in my hand, and when the little woman’s eyes narrowed on it, she asked, “Did my husband give you that gun?”

  A slow grin stretched my lips.

  Yes, he sure as shit did.

  When I didn’t make to respond, she held my gaze, jerking her chin toward the pistol. “That’s my gun.” Her lips pulled into a thin smile as she shook her head and let out a humorless laugh. “He gave you my gun.” When her face fell, I felt that shit hard. Even more so when she murmured, “Fuck me, Az. You bastard.”

  My heart clenched so hard it skipped a beat.

  I blinked down at the beloved gift, my smile fading to black, and heard her say, “He must have really loved you.”

  Yeah.

  I thought so too.

  Az, you fucking asshole.

  Placing the tainted present on the counter, I sat on the stool and threw her an expression of pure frustration. “You’d think so, yet—” My tone was bleak. “—he came home to you every single night, even when I’d beg him to stay.” My shoulders jerked. “He was cruel. He shouldn’t have let me love him like that.” My throat thickened with emotion. “And I did. I loved him so much.”

  “To death, it would seem,” she responded quietly.

  I would never admit it, but I could see why Az loved his wife. Asya Sadik had a confidence to her that would have made her a great leader. Maybe, in a different world, under different circumstances, we would have liked each other.

  ... Nah.

  When
my stoic gaze met hers, she rolled her eyes. “I know; you weren’t there. You had nothing to do with his death. Ling is innocent, your brother insisted. How dare we ask how the fuck our cherished Az ended up dumped in the harbor? Because, Allah knows, it couldn’t have been The Dragon Queen. She isn’t that crazy.” Her sarcasm game was strong. “I know what Van said. We both know he’s only doing his duty. Can’t say I would have done the same, but I can respect family values.” She dipped her chin, avoiding my gaze. “We both know it was you.”

  It was strange. She meant nothing to me, but it seemed we were kindred spirits, imprisoned by our own darkness, our very own form of hell.

  We were both hurting.

  “I didn’t mean to.” The words that left me were haunted. “It was an accident.”

  She considered this. “Accident or not,” Asya uttered, “he’s gone, and I need you to do something for me.” When I narrowed my eyes at her, she didn’t flinch. Her tone was stark. “Call it compensation.”

  I didn’t owe her shit. But I found myself asking, “What do you want?”

  Zero reluctance. “I want you to kill me.”

  My stare was hard, and my eyes held hers a long minute before a bark of a laugh shot out of me. But her expression remained unchanging. I shook my head and muttered, “No.”

  Asya Sadik’s cheek ticked as she wheeled herself forward, and spoke through gritted teeth, “I don’t think you understand me, Ling Nguyen.” Her tone held no room for negotiation. “You killed my husband. You left me alone in this world without the man I love. And you’re going to kill me, you heartless bitch.” She breathed heavily through her nose and her voice trembled. “It’s the very least you could do.”

  “I didn’t come here for that,” I told her, even though I had, but things had changed now that I’d spoken to her. And call me cruel, but knowing I wasn’t alone in my sorrow was holding the broken pieces of me together.

  If I was going down the road of suffering in silence, I preferred not to do it alone.

  She was coming with me.

  Asya’s face screwed up, and she spat, “I’m dying.” Her face crumpled. “Do you understand that?” Her desperation was clear. “I am a burden to my family, Ling. Every single day, they come and go, and leave me without my fucking dignity.” Her eyes shone, as she bit out, “I won’t do it to them. I can’t. Not anymore.” Straightening, she sniffled then sat tall, steeling her voice. “So, you’re going to kill me. And you’re going to do it now.” She took a deep breath, speaking through an exhale. “I’m ready.”

  Goddamn it.

  Sigh of all sighs.

  I actually felt for the bitch. But I wouldn’t kill her.

  I made the short walk over and looked down at her pitiful self in her pitiful wheelchair with her pitiful illness, and spoke firmly, “I am not going to kill you, Asya Sadik.”

  Her face fell once again, but before she had a chance to argue, I put her pistol into her lap, gently took her hand, and covered it with my own, placing it over the rose-gold beauty.

  Why I became so emotional, I didn’t know. This woman meant nothing to me. We weren’t friends. We weren’t family. She was nobody. And yet I felt her pain on a personal level.

  Our agony was our connection. A solid link between us. Had I been her, I would’ve wanted to die too.

  Fuck. I wanted to die regardless.

  I swallowed past the lump in my throat, and whispered, “Say hi to Az for me.”

  Without a moment’s hesitation, I turned and walked out the back door, closing it behind me with gloved hands. I don’t know how far I got before the shot rang out, but the loneliness I felt was heavy on my shoulders.

  Once again, alone in my misery.

  ***

  Lexi

  It was just before eleven when a knock at the door sounded, and when Molly rushed out of her room, a gun in each of her hands, a solid glare on her face, she turned to me, and said sternly, “Get back.”

  So strange to be taking orders from the babysitter, especially one who was half my age. But I did as she asked.

  Another knock sounded, and then, “Lexi.”

  The second I heard him, I shot out of my room, and Molly looked pissed when she threw open the door, and snapped, “What, you don’t know how to call?”

  Julius stood there, his jaw tight, his eyes on me. “Grab your shit.”

  Molly’s tone turned rattled. “What’s happening?”

  Julius turned to her. “Asya Sadik killed herself.”

  “Okay,” Molly drawled. The way she said it told me she didn’t understand.

  Neither did I.

  “Luka called,” he told me. “Said security footage shows Ling on the premises. Ten seconds after the bitch leaves, Asya offs herself.” Speaking directly to Molly, he uttered, “A few seconds after Luka calls, Amoho tells me he lost sight of her. We don’t know where she is.” His eyes found mine in the darkness. “I’m not sayin’ she is, but I can’t guarantee she’s not on her way here, Lex, so I need you to come with me.”

  My hand shot up to my throat, as I uttered weakly, “To where?”

  “Somewhere you can’t be touched,” was all he said. “Ana’s overwrought. I can’t watch you both.”

  And because I was scared out of my wits, I allowed Julius to pick my sleeping son up out of his bed, and when Julius led, like the obedient pet I was, I blindly followed.

  As we pulled up to the mansion on Sydney’s north shore, Warriewood to be precise, my mouth gaped. It wasn’t Darling Point, but it was still freaking huge.

  Holding my sleeping son in my lap, my lips moved of their own volition. “Who lives here?”

  But Julius didn’t reply. He was too on edge. Too focused. Which, of course, terrified me. And when we pulled up to the tall security gates, Julius wound down his window and pressed the button on the intercom.

  From the other end came, “Molim?”

  Julius spoke calmly. “Open the gates, Pav. You know it’s me.”

  The gates opened and Julius drove down the long cobblestone drive in complete silence.

  Pav.

  Ah, shit.

  We were in the king’s castle, and I wasn’t too sure Twitch would be happy about that. “Does Twitch know about this?”

  Julius snapped harshly, “Twitch ain’t here.”

  My entire body jerked at the roughness in his tone. It was so unlike him my eyes widened in shock and I blinked in alarm.

  Holy hell.

  This may not be the precaution I assumed it was. And when Pav stepped out of his house looking grim in his sweats, I waited until Julius opened the door for me before I slid out with my son.

  Luka Pavlovic approached slowly, carefully, and spoke just as cautiously. “I know we got off on the wrong foot, but I want to assure you that you’ll be safe here.” He glanced down at my sleeping monster in my arms, and when he lifted his hand to gently stroke my son’s head, I let him. “Both of you.”

  “Thank you.” I didn’t know what else to say, so I said nothing.

  “Come inside,” he spoke quietly so as not to wake A.J. “I’ll show you to your room.”

  When I twisted back to Molly, she stayed by Julius, and I uttered, “Let’s go.”

  But Molly lowered her face, sounding momentarily ashamed of herself. “I’m not welcome here, Lex.”

  “No,” Pav agreed in deathly quiet. “She is not.”

  What?

  Oh, hell, no. This was not acceptable.

  “All right.” I twisted back to Luka and uttered, “I want to thank you for the offer, but we’re leaving.”

  Luka’s brows narrowed. “You can’t. I won’t allow it.”

  Who the hell did he think he was?

  I kept my tone steady. “I’m not one of your minions, Mr. Pavlovic. You can’t tell me what to do. And—” I faced Molly. “—if Molly isn’t welcome, I don’t think I want to be either.”

  Julius approached, looking irritated as hell. “Lex, don’t be stupid here.”
<
br />   I spun on him, incensed. “And you better watch your tone with me, Julius Carter. Don’t forget who welcomed you into her home and put her family at risk for you and yours.” At least he had the grace to look sheepish. I spoke to Molly. “Would Tama take us in?”

  Her face brightened. “For sure.” She had already pulled her phone out. “Let me call him.”

  Luka looked positively riled. “You’d rather stay with D.M.S. scum than with me?” He turned to Julius and sputtered an unamused, “The fuck, brother?” When Molly put the phone to her ear, Luka rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay. All right.” His brows lowered and his lips thinned. “She can stay.”

  My insides uncoiled with relief, and as I held my son in my arms, rocking him gently, I muttered a sincere, “Thank you, Luka.”

  “Come in.” He shook his head, turning toward the house and sounding thoroughly annoyed. “And be quick about it.”

  As I walked away in my Pikachu slippers, Julius spoke hesitantly. “I’m not pissed at you, Lexi. I’m pissed at him.”

  I turned to face him, and as I did, I noticed the weariness in his features. It hadn’t occurred to me until that moment what he must be feeling right now. Our men held themselves so tall it was rare to see them falter. And Julius looked close to falling.

  When I spoke, I did it softly. “I want her dead too, honey.”

  Pain had molded me into a warrior. Hurt had turned me sharp at the edges. Love had forced the fear out of me.

  Ling would die. It was only a matter of time before karma finally caught up with her. And after all she had done to my family, I wanted to watch the whore bleed until her veins ran dry.

  ***

  Ling

  “What the fuck is wrong with you, Ling?”

  My brother sat at the end of my bed as I walked into my room. He sounded mad. That was unusual. Van was my biggest fan. He thought I hung the fucking stars.

  I barely wavered as I passed him, heading into the en suite bathroom. “What’s up your ass?”

  After washing my face and undressing, I emerged in my silken pajamas, but the pure hatred Van wore had me pausing midstep.