Reining in that particular train of thought, I refocused on what they were supposed to be doing. There were several pillars in the center and those would be wired too. The explosion was supposed to take out the building without a large outward blast. I grimly pictured the sad little houses falling like so many dominos. Alex had specifically ordered Killian to limit the blast to reduce collateral damage. I wondered cynically if he had any idea what this crappy neighborhood looked like. A cat squalled shrilly and I jumped with a muffled scream. With heart racing, I peeked over the wall to see a fat tomcat chasing a female over the weed-filled yard.
Stupid cat sex!
Sean’s voice hissed in my earpiece, “You all right?”
“Fine. Sorry, false alarm.”
“Amateur.”
Asshole.
Settling in to wait, I watched as they moved across the basement. Other than the stupid cats, it was quiet. The police cars were long gone. Mosquitoes whined and a dog barked occasionally, but nothing else stirred. The muffled rumble of the first explosion brought me completely alert. Blinking sleepily, I looked around.
Damn it! I’d dozed off!
Where were they?
The ground under my feet vibrated from the basement explosions. Before I could move, the silence was broken by a loud blast and shattering glass from the first story. Frozen on the porch, I was hypnotized by the fire for just a few seconds but it was still too long. Flames lit up the street as more timers went off.
I was too close!
The blast wave from one of the explosions reached me and knocked me backwards into the side of the house. Struggling to keep my balance, I lurched off the steps and stumbled for the truck. By this time, the building was in full flames and I started sprinting down the sidewalk.
Police sirens echoed in the distance just as I threw myself into the driver’s seat so violently the keys went flying. Shit!
The sirens were getting closer; the lights flashed between the houses on the opposite block.
Where are those goddamn keys?
Wedged between the seats…Oh, thank God!
Slamming the truck into gear, I floored it and skidded around a corner just as the first cops pulled onto the street.
“What the hell are you doing?” Sean yelled in my ear from behind me.
“Jesus! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” My chest burned from the surge of adrenaline.
“What are you still doing here?” he demanded while climbing over the seats. “Are you stupid?”
Frantically looking in the rearview mirror, I snapped, “Oh, shut up and watch our back.”
I took the next corner on two wheels and he slid across the console into me. The wheel spun out of my hands and we drove up over a sidewalk and ran over a stop sign. The metallic crunch sounded supernaturally loud to me. He grabbed the wheel and yanked hard enough to put us back in the center of the deserted street.
“You suck at driving! Pull over!”
Spotting the freeway on-ramp, I headed towards it. “You can get out any time. I don’t need your help.”
Grimacing and finally sitting back in the passenger seat, he griped, “No, I can’t. Killian would kick me off the team if I left you here.”
“Is there a downside to that?”
“You’re the one who shouldn’t be out here. But Killian wouldn’t consider taking you off the team.”
“Well, you did tell him to take care of me while you were gone. Too bad you weren’t more specific,” I pointed out, swerving into the right lane.
“I should’ve never taken this assignment. You’re a pain in my ass.”
The hotel was on the next street so I ignored him and focused on driving and parking without hitting anything.
“Later,” I called as I sprinted towards the side entrance.
“Where do you think you’re going? I’ll walk you up to the room.” He caught up with me too easily.
I fished out the key as soon as we left the elevator intending to get into the room quickly and close the door in his face. But my hands were sticky with sweat and I fumbled with the plastic card and dropped it. I stooped to pick it up and when I straightened, Sean was standing behind me. In one smooth motion, he reached out and plucked the card from my fingers.
“Nervous?” he whispered against the back of my neck sending goose bumps racing over my skin.
“You wish!” I spun around to tell him to leave me alone but ended up too close.
The fine hair on his forearms tickled my shoulders as he framed me against the door. With both arms surrounding me like a cage, his lips turned up with a slow smile as the pounding of my heart grew louder.
“Ah…there it is.” With one finger, he deftly lifted the locket out of my shirt and held it against his palm.
It glowed happily.
Apparently it didn’t realize we’d broken up.
“Sean--” I started to warn him to let me go but the door to the room next to us flew open and a woman walked into the hall.
Busy on her cell phone, she ignored us and hustled past. Sean followed her with his eyes until she got into the elevator. I plucked the key out of his fingers and quickly slid it into the reader. Slamming the door in his face, I whirled around to find him standing right behind me, smirking.
“Really?” He shook his head like I was crazy.
“Okay, I’m safe now. Go away!”
I didn’t exactly feel safe…
Not with the way he was looking at me.
Hostility and something a little less ugly surrounded him like a halo. It was all I could do not to back away from him. He was enjoying making me squirm.
He stared at me; I stared at him.
He blinked first and shrugged.
Pulling off his sweaty shirt, he commandeered one of the beds and flipped on the television. I was speechless. “You’re staying?” I nearly screeched.
Not bothering to glance at me, he nodded smugly. “Killian ordered me not to leave you alone. And since he’s clearly not here…” He shrugged like he had no choice.
“He’ll be back soon. I don’t need a babysitter.” My tone sounded whiny and I clamped my mouth shut. I really wanted a shower and sleep.
“Don’t count on it. He went to The City to see Alex. He might not come back if he’s given new orders. We’ll leave in the morning though.” He stretched and grinned mockingly at me, “Just you and me…”
I stomped over to the bathroom and brushed my teeth until the enamel was thin and spit viciously in the sink. Damn him! I was hot and sticky and really wanted a shower. No way was I taking my clothes off with him in the room. Maybe I could put it off…I gave my armpit a tentative sniff and my nose objected. Okay, maybe not.
Stupid Detroit heat!
Not bothering to lock the door since he could pop into the shower if he wanted, I threw myself into the shower and broke speed records. I was in the middle of combing the tangles out of my hair when I realized my clothes were in the other room. Gritting my teeth, I bounced my forehead off of the door. Ugh!
“Could you bring me my backpack?” I called through a crack in the door.
“Sorry? What? I didn’t hear you say please.”
I hate him.
I should just walk out in a towel and grab my stuff. That would show him. Visions of him pulling the towel off of me stopped me.
“Please bring me my clothes.”
He tapped on the door. I opened it a hair and he held up a thong and said, “This is all I could find.”
Chapter 25: Forgiveness and Promises
IT WAS 3:00 THE NEXT AFTERNOON when Sean finally pulled the truck into a Tim Horton’s restaurant off the highway. We were in the middle of Ontario heading towards Plattsburgh. Our plan was to pack up some things and meet Killian in Manhattan. A strong feeling of foreboding had greeted me when I finally woke up from a restless sleep. Distracted and unwilling to rise to Sean’s barbs, I spent the trip staring out the window, much to his annoyance. After the thong incident, I s
hut him out and I had the feeling he didn’t like that.
Last night, I had snatched the thong from his hand and marched to my backpack in the towel after all. Fully disgusted with him, I turned my back and defiantly dropped the towel. With furious movements, I yanked on my clothes and then turned to him.
“I can’t believe I loved you. What’s happened to you?”
He started to reply and then stopped, deflated. Without another word, he shut off the light and took a shower. When he came out of the bathroom, he crawled under his sheets and turned his back to me. I lay on my own bed staring at his back for hours. Memories drifted through my mind…My lips remembered the smooth texture of his back the day he told me they were angels. That same day, he’d told me he loved me. The memory filled my head and I let it play out with tears in my eyes: How had things gone so wrong?
It had been a beautiful day and we’d walked to the creek near the farmhouse. Finally trusting me with their secret, he admitted they were angels, of a sort. Fascinated, I walked around to his back and lifted up his shirt. He sucked in his breath against the sudden cold. I was afraid to look, but when I opened my eyes to look at him, all I saw was smooth muscular skin the color of warm honey. I pressed my face against his skin and kissed him softly between his shoulders.
“Well, did I pass?” he’d asked with a grin.
“No wings?”
“No wings. Are you disappointed?”
“Not really, I think they would get in the way. What do you call yourselves?”
He’d looked relieved by the simple question. “Primani, we’re called Primani--Soldiers of the First Legion.”
I’d considered his serious, beautiful face. He was a contradiction. When he was with me like this, he was sweet and gentle. When he was in soldier-mode, he was ruthless and deadly. I was more than a little afraid of the soldier in him and shivered.
“Don’t! Please don’t ever be afraid of me. I would never hurt you; you have to know that.” He’d reached out and cupped my face in his hands. The little golden light in his eyes flashing brilliantly as the truth hit him. He’d kissed me with yearning and tenderness. I’d clung to his shoulders to keep from falling. He dragged his mouth away from mine and lowered it to my collarbone. With the other hand, he pulled the zipper of my sweatshirt down. I was bare underneath it. He pulled his eyes back to mine. I searched his eyes but his mind was closed to me.
“What are you thinking?” I whispered.
“You’re so beautiful it takes my breath away.”
“I love you.”
“And I love you,” he said wistfully.
What had happened to that love? Where did it go? I was floundering on unfamiliar ground now. He’d vowed he’d never hurt me…but he was, every second he was near me. I was afraid of him, of who he was becoming, of who he might become.
I thought I knew him, but I didn’t know this version of him.
I didn’t like this version of Sean.
He was cold and his words cut me to the quick. Maybe I deserved his anger, but I didn’t deserve this hostility. I thought of James and wondered if this was how he drifted into the darkness.
Did his love get twisted into hate?
How did he lose his soul?
That couldn’t happen to Sean. He was the greatest Primani ever…
As I picked at my salad, I wondered what he would have to say if he knew about the baby. I wanted to tell him but there hadn’t been a good time. And now…well, the silence had grown into a stone wall between us and I saw no way over it. My heart ached with the knowledge that he was so far out of reach when I needed him most.
I felt his eyes on me and looked up. His expression was carefully blank as he watched me from across the table. The restaurant was crowded and loud with the clanking of glass and silverware, but Sean overwhelmed my senses until there was no one but him in my world. The golden lights in his eyes were muted as if his saol was focused someplace else. The ocean-colored irises were opaque to me now. Unable to help myself, I peered into them and found no way inside his shuttered mind.
What secrets was he keeping?
He was closed to me and my throat tightened in response. Abruptly pushing away from the table, I rushed out of the restaurant and climbed into the relative privacy of the truck. Swiping angrily at tears, I swore in every language I knew. But still they came and I groaned in frustration at the human weakness. If only I could be hard and cold…like Sean.
Sean pulled open the door and climbed in. After a minute of awkward silence, he finally snorted impatiently, “Damn it, Mica, stop it.”
Turning to face him, I said, “You think it’s that easy? Maybe for you! You have no feelings. If you don’t want to see me cry, then stop hurting me!”
Incredulous, his eyebrows went straight to his hairline. “Me? What have I done? You’re the one giving me the silent treatment!”
I didn’t have a comeback for that. Defeated, I drooped. “Once upon a time, you promised there would be no lies between us. Do you remember that?”
His jaw tightened but he answered stiffly, “I remember that conversation.” He added bitterly, “But we also agreed there was room for secrets. And now, can you live with them?”
“Mine or yours?” I asked with intensity. My eyes were dry again and I searched his face for some kind of emotion. What was he hiding?
His mouth twisted into a grimace and he ripped his eyes away from my face. Retreating into his head, he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and looked away from me.
The silence dragged.
“Ah, I see how it is. You can have your secrets but I can’t have mine. Well, you know mine now…and you can’t forgive me. So I’m asking you. Where were you? And if I knew, would I be able to forgive you?”
He flushed hotly and shook his head in denial. “You don’t know what you’re talking about! I told you I was scattered.” But he didn’t meet my eyes.
“I heard you arguing with Killian. You think I’m too weak for the truth. I know you’re hiding something.”
He hesitated for a minute as if wondering what he could say. “You don’t know anything.”
Tiredly, I said, “Whatever.”
Sighing loudly, he started the truck and the road trip continued. The farmland blurred by as I tried to meditate. The sense of impending doom settled into my bones like a cancer.
Who would we lose this time?
We’d barely slept and already it was time to get back on the road. Morning was not my favorite time of the day and Sean’s attitude was a little less fun this early. I resisted the urge to snap his head off as he nagged at me.
“We need to go. Are you packed?” Sean asked.
The deliberate rudeness was gone but the holier-than-thou tone was nearly as bad. I shoved my hand into my pocket to stop it from slapping him again. Geez, he was overplaying the role of victim here.
Rolling my eyes, I lifted my bag and started towards the front door. “Yeah, let’s go. We need to get down there. Killian’s waiting for us to move on Dagin.”
He plucked my heavy bag off of my arm and snapped, “Yeah, let’s not keep Killian waiting!” and stalked into the early morning darkness.
Sean drove the Camaro like it was an extension of his body. The muscles in his arm flexed as he steered the powerful car. The car responded to his slightest movement and growled aggressively as we roared down the highway. I stole a peek at his face. His strong profile was set in stone as he lost himself in his own thoughts. The shadows hid his expression but I knew he was painfully unhappy. I’d known his every mood for years…once he would have talked to me, not now…his pride wouldn’t let him. I sighed to myself and wondered what he was thinking. His eyes were entirely focused on the road and he’d been silent since we pulled away from the house.
His moods were giving me a constant headache. It was bad enough that I had to deal with my own pain. I was still having flashbacks of the demon attack and bouts of sadness from the miscarriage. I felt horrible about Sea
n’s pain. I missed Dec desperately. I was barely keeping myself together as it was. If it weren’t for Killian’s love and caring support, I’d be curled up in a bed refusing to leave the house. Absorbing Sean’s emotions was overwhelming me. Rubbing my temples, I pulled out my phone and started to send a text to Killian. I craved some kind of contact with someone who liked me…maybe…
Killian? Probably you can’t hear me…but I need you. I really need you. My head aches. Needing its comfort, I stroked the outline of my rune and closed my eyes to shut out Sean’s emotions. Gradually, my hand began to tingle and I opened my eyes to see the golden outline shining gently in the washed out light of dawn.
I’m here, babe. Close your eyes.
I closed my eyes again and there he was, standing in the light airy room in my mind. He was grimy with sweat and dirt as if he’d been fighting in the woods someplace. His beard shadowed his jaw sending his sexiness skyrocketing off the charts. His teeth were very white when he greeted me with a slow sexy smile. He held his arms open to me and I threw myself against him. Catching me surely, he held me close until my heartbeat slowed and my headache drifted away. Smoothing my hair back and lifting my chin, he kissed me with a smile.
Better?
I could only smile and nod happily. The slight roughness of his calloused hands warmed my skin as he ran his hands up my arms to cup my face for one last kiss. I moaned happily against his demanding mouth when he deepened the kiss with his tongue. Tiny white lights sparkled behind my eyes and I forgot where I was. Dragging his mouth away, he said he had to go. With that, he vanished.
Sean’s dry voice brought me flying back to the physical world. “Do you need a towel?” He waved a hand in the general direction of my lap and peered suspiciously into the air, sniffing. “God, I hope you were dreaming?”
“Yes, a dream…” I murmured and licked my lips.
“I needed a hug,” I huffed defensively.
Barking a sarcastic laugh, Sean said, “You could’ve asked me! I’m a little closer.” Something struck him as funny and he burst into a real laugh that he smothered with a cough.
The Lost Soul Trilogy (Primani Book 5) Page 66