Letting Misery Go

by Michelle Larks

  Naomi watched him walk away as she gnawed on a hangnail. She wasn’t sure if her family would understand her marrying outside her race, or how her lover was more than a few years older than she was. Though Noami didn’t think the age difference significant, she knew her mother would.

  Ruth had always proclaimed that God’s children came in different shades. But Naomi wasn’t sure if her mother, now in her early sixties, would accept an older white man as her daughter’s future husband. To complicate matters, Montgomery was from England, and a member of the Anglican Church. Naomi was sure her mother would be scandalized to learn that she was “shacking up” with a man, as her mother and Alice called it.

  Naomi also had yet to inform her family that she planned to remain in Edwardsville to work after her graduation. They were under the impression she would be returning to Chicago, and would be employed as a CPA at a prestigious accounting firm in the downtown Chicago area. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach at the thought of telling her family what her real plans were.

  Montgomery exited the bathroom, returned to the bed, and lay beside Naomi. They leaned over and turned off the lamps on their nightstands. Montgomery’s arms lay possessively around Naomi’s waist. The couple was quiet and lost in their own thoughts of the Wilcox family. Montgomery thought Naomi was ashamed of him and his race. Naomi obsessed over the family’s acceptance of Montgomery, and she also pondered Daniel’s situation. She debated going home for the weekend. Finally sleep claimed the couple. The answers to their questions would be revealed soon enough. Though Naomi had convinced herself that it didn’t matter if her family liked or accepted Montgomery, she cared deep down inside. Like most daughters who share a close bond with their mothers, Naomi craved her mother’s approval.

  Chapter Two

  Several hours later, Ruth leaned to her right and laid her Bible on the nightstand. She had completed reading her morning scripture, and was finishing saying a prayer aloud.

  “Thank you, God, for the many blessings you have bestowed upon me and my family. And, Lord, take care of Daniel, Lenora, and their family during this moment of crisis. I know that there isn’t any problem you can’t solve. Lord, bless the world, its leaders, and all your children here on earth. Lord, bless my church family. Amen.”

  She opened her eyes and peered at the clock, noting that it was almost six-thirty in the morning. She was supposed to call Alice at seven o’clock, to ensure that her best friend was awake in time to attend a doctor’s appointment scheduled for later that morning.

  Ruth was worried because Alice hadn’t been herself lately. Ruth was aware her friend’s energy level had dipped. Ruth recited scripture to stop her mind from focusing on worst-case scenarios.

  Ruth’s eyes trailed across the off-white room to the deeply polished dark cherrywood armoire, which was opposite her bed. Her gaze settled on the pictures lovingly arranged atop the dresser. Early morning was “me time” for Ruth. Before she began the hustle and bustle of the day, her thoughts, as always, centered on her family.

  Bishop, Ruth’s father, peered at her with an enigmatic smile. His face was enclosed by an eight-by-ten silver frame, and he was clad in a black robe, with an immaculate white ministerial collar around his neck. Bishop was the first picture that caught Ruth’s attention, as it did every morning. The twinkle in her father’s eyes caused a tear to trickle down her honey brown face.

  Five years had elapsed since Ruth’s beloved brother, Ezra, had made his transition home, and Bishop followed him two years ago. She took comfort in knowing her father and brother had mended their fractured relationship. She knew they were in heaven, keeping an eye on the family.

  She reached upward and rubbed a wet spot from her check. Then her brown orbs traveled to another picture, inside a five-by-seven ornate picture frame. Ezra, her beloved brother, was playing the organ at The Temple. His head was bowed, and he was enthralled in his one passion in life. Though Ruth fully realized the Lord didn’t put more on a person than they could bear, nonetheless, she wasn’t quite ready to admit to anyone how overwhelming life had become because of family and church issues.

  Ruth swung her legs back into the bed. Her lips curved into a smile as she leaned back against the fluffy white pillows and took stock of her family. Her thoughts, as always, seemed to be attuned to Naomi, who was scheduled to receive a master’s degree in accounting in May. Ruth was so proud of Naomi.

  She leaned across the bed, pulled open the top drawer of the nightstand, and removed Naomi’s graduation announcement. Just seeing Naomi Patrice Wilcox in the lovely script filled Ruth’s heart with happiness.

  “Thank you, Father,” she whispered.

  One of the best decisions Ruth had made was to hire a good Christian pediatric therapist to work with Naomi. With Dr. Brown’s help, Naomi eventually was able to find peace, despite the choices her relatives had made in the past that had affected her life so crucially.

  After changing her major in college multiple times, and elongating her undergraduate college experience, Naomi eventually decided on accounting for her future career goal. Sarah and Daniel Jr., also known as DJ, often joked that Naomi was going to be a career student. It had taken Naomi three years to complete her studies for a master’s degree. During that time, Ruth continued supporting her daughter financially.

  “You showed everyone,” Ruth said to herself, smiling. She could hardly wait for her baby girl to return home.

  The only dark cloud hanging over Ruth’s life was the possibility of the change in the dynamics of the relationship between Naomi and Sarah. She often pondered whether it might be time for her to step back and allow the mother-daughter bond between the two women to flourish. She found herself at such odds with that theory, and prayed many a night for God to show her the way. She tried putting herself in Sarah’s footsteps. Family secrets had haunted the Wilcox and Clayton families for so long, in an adverse way.

  As part of her post Daniel life, Ruth and Alice had purchased a redbrick six-flat apartment building, in need of serious rehabilitation, for a song and dance. The friends had the building gutted and rehabbed. The apartment building was located fairly close to Ruth and Daniel’s former residence, which Ruth had presented to Sarah and Brian. Ruth and Alice lived in the first-floor apartments, across the hall from each other, and rented out the second- and third-floor apartments.

  “Lord, take care of and bless us all.” Ruth closed her eyes, and said, “We are just your imperfect children, trying to lead a Christian life, to make it into your kingdom. Father, be with Alice today when she goes to her doctor appointment. I wanted to go with her, but she has told me she prefers to go by herself. Take care of my best friend, no, Alice is really my sister. We just had different parents”

  She glanced at the clock again; the time was a quarter to seven. She stretched her arms over her head. Then she pulled her wrap scarf off her head and ran her fingers through her close-cropped short silver-gray hair. A web of lines intersected her face, giving her character and strength. She was one of those women who became more attractive during the aging process.

  When she and Alice moved into the building, they began an exercise regimen together, and Ruth had managed to keep most unwanted pounds from her body. She maintained a perfect size-sixteen figure.

  Ruth folded the scarf into a triangle and placed it on the nightstand. She then opened the drawer again and laid Naomi’s graduation announcement on top of a pile of papers. She shuffled through the papers until she reached the bottom of the stack. She pulled out a Polaroid of her and Daniel from their wedding day. She traced Daniels’s face, and then dropped the picture back into the drawer. She covered it with the papers and firmly closed the drawer. The photo was the one relic of the past that Ruth kept to remind herself of happier times with the first love of her life.

  She swung her legs over the side of the bed and took the cordless phone from its base. Ruth couldn’t keep her thoughts from straying to her ex-husband, and the humiliation she’d suffered wh
en he chose to end their marriage of thirty-plus years. Daniel had been her first and only love, and he occupied a secret place in her heart that had never been relinquished to another man.

  There’s an old saying, “What goes around comes around.” Daniel married a much younger woman before the ink was barely dry on his and Ruth’s divorce decree, and he was definitely a beneficiary of the other tried-and-true saying, “You reap what you sow.” From what Sarah had told Ruth over the years, Daniel and Lenora shared what could best be described as a rocky marriage.

  Daniel hadn’t wanted any other children after his and Ruth’s son, DJ, was born, and he had been reluctant to adopt Naomi. Now, he was the father of three little boys, age eight and under. He had suffered a debilitating heart attack years ago, and his health hadn’t been the same since then. Hours of rehabilitation therapy had been successful to a certain point, leaving Ruth’s ex-husband a mere shell of his former outspoken and opinionated self.

  Ruth shook her head, as if to clear it of the cobwebs of memories, and quickly picked up the cordless phone and punched in Alice’s telephone number.

  “Hello, Ruth. How are you this morning?” Alice asked, answering her phone on the second ring, after glancing at the caller ID. She pressed a button, switched the phone to speaker mode, and clipped the phone’s earpiece to her earlobe. She then pulled and twirled the gray twists around her head and walked into the kitchen.

  “I’m good. How are you feeling this morning?” Ruth answered her friend tentatively. She changed the phone to her other ear. At the thought of Alice being seriously ill, Ruth felt her heart race like a NASCAR driver.

  “I’m blessed,” Alice reassured Ruth, ever mindful of her friend’s concern. “Now, Ruth, I don’t want you worrying about me. God has this situation under control. You have enough on your plate right now, dealing with Queen’s health issues.”

  “Humph, that’s true. But I can always make time for you. I really wish you’d reconsider and let me go with you to your appointment today. I’m going to be a nervous wreck all day until I talk to you. I still don’t understand why you’re being so secretive,” Ruth crossly informed her friend. She absently scratched her scalp.

  “You will be fine. Anyway, it’s Monday, your day to spend with Queen. I think you should go ahead with your plans and we’ll talk this evening,” Alice said firmly. She knew Ruth was grouchy because she refused to share with her the nature of her appointment.

  “I don’t think it would be a major loss if I don’t visit Queen today. It’s not like she knows who I am most of the time.” It hurt Ruth to say those words. She scowled and her lips tightened.

  “You’re right,” Alice shot back. “That’s why it’s important for you to go. This could be one of Queen’s good days. You and your mother have worked so long and hard to improve your relationship. So enjoy the time you have left. Tomorrow is not promised.”

  Ruth swallowed hard as a feeling of uneasiness skyrocketed through her body. “You aren’t trying to tell me something, are you?”

  “Of course not,” Alice answered quickly. “I only meant that Queen is getting older, and you should savor every day you have with her. Let me clarify that, I speak as a person who has lost both parents.” She tried to quell Ruth’s fears.

  Ruth’s body sagged with relief. “Okay, I’ll go visit Mother today. But you and I have a dinner date, and I’m going to cook. Deal?”

  “Definitely, you don’t have to cook anything fancy, though.” Alice smiled.

  She checked the coffee, which was brewing, and returned to her bedroom. Alice opened the closet door and removed a turquoise-colored tunic pantsuit, which she laid on the bed. She opened her dresser drawer and took lingerie and hosiery from it, putting them on the bed too. Then she walked back to the kitchen.

  “What’s new with you?” she asked Ruth as she reached into the cabinet and took a cup out of it.

  “Nothing much. After I visit Mother, I’ll probably come home and work on the church budget, to prepare for the finance meeting scheduled for next Friday. Offerings are down. I know the economy has hurt a lot of people. The loss of money has impacted the church, and I’m hoping I won’t have to take a hard stance and shut down some of our outreach programs,” Ruth confessed.

  “I know what you mean. When I visited my childhood church last Sunday, I noticed attendance was lighter than normal. The high gas prices don’t help. My cousin, Mark, was saying that my family’s church is facing many challenges too,” Alice said.

  “He’s right. You know, I always feel like I have to be as good a leader as Bishop was, and I think I put more pressure on myself when things don’t go as I plan.” Ruth opened up to Alice about some misgivings she’d been feeling.

  “I understand, but, trust me, these times would even challenge Bishop. The economy is in the toilet. Gas prices are on the rise, and we live in Cook County, which has the highest tax rate of all the counties in the United States. The only bright star is that the stock market is still stable, but how long can that last? People are losing jobs left and right. A lot of people are questioning their faith in God,” Alice pronounced.

  “I know,” Ruth said glumly. “Sister Willa Mae, a mother of the church, called me last week and she was insistent the world was coming to an end, and how we’re living in times that were described in the Book of Revelation.”

  “Well, that had to be an interesting conversation. What did you tell her?” Alice was sincerely curious. She poured herself a cup of coffee and sat at the table. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearly time for her to begin dressing for her appointment. She had been up since six o’clock. She had only asked Ruth to call her because she knew her friend wanted to help.

  “I managed to soothe her nerves, but it took much longer than I anticipated it would. I told her what we are experiencing is an enormous challenge, and how Christians must rise to the task, and be more prayerful and helpful when they can. I told her that I don’t pretend to know the future, and how we must be vigilant and steadfast in leaning on our faith. I also suggested we trust in God’s unchanging hand. Eventually she calmed down. I was on the phone with her for so long that I nearly missed a counseling meeting with Miles and Lisa Dennison,” Ruth said.

  “Save that thought,” Alice said. “I have got to get going. I’ll see you this evening, and don’t worry. Everything is going to work out fine.”

  “I’ll try not to,” Ruth replied. “See you later.”

  The women hung up, and Alice returned to her room and began dressing for her appointment, while Ruth showered and dressed. Afterward, Ruth walked into her kitchen to prepare breakfast. Before long, she was ready to depart.

  Ruth was turning the key in the lock to secure the front door when she heard her telephone ring. She debated going back inside the apartment, but then she heard the answering machine activate. She walked outside to the garage and got into her black Cadillac CTS.

  She pressed the remote unit and the garage door began lifting. Ruth leaned over to the passenger seat, reached inside her purse, and removed her cell phone. She put the Bluetooth device into her ear and started the car.

  She had driven to the end of the alley when her cell phone chirped. She activated the Bluetooth device and answered the call.

  “Momma,” Sarah said frantically. “Where are you? I called the house, and the phone just rang.” Sarah was sitting inside her cubicle at ComEd Electric Company. After years of being a customer service representative, she had finally been promoted to a manager, and she loved her job.

  “I’m headed out to see Queen,” Ruth answered. “Why, what’s wrong?” Everyone; children, grandchildren, friends alike called the former first lady of The Temple Queen.

  “I meant to call you yesterday and tell you about Daddy. I was at his house all yesterday.” She smothered a yawn. “I should’ve taken off work today. I’m so tired. Lenora left him and the boys, and the whole situation has been a mess,” she said anxiously as she untwisted the tangled phone
cord.

  “Naomi called me this morning and told me about Daniel’s latest drama. What happened?” Ruth managed to ask it calmly, though her insides had turned to mush. She pulled the car around the corner, slid into an empty parking spot, and turned off the car.

  “Lenora pretty much said she’s tired of being married to an old man. Can you believe that’s what she called Daddy? She ran off with another man to Nevada. She called Daddy last night, and told him to forget the divorce papers she served him, because she plans to get a quickie divorce in Reno. And to make matters even worse, Lenora cleared out her and Daddy’s bank account.” Sarah’s eyes stole a look outside her cubicle, making sure no one was listening to her conversation.

  “I’m sorry to hear that.” Ruth tried to impart sympathy into her voice as she massaged her left temple.

  “Not only did she leave Daddy, she left the boys with him.” Sarah’s voice rose dramatically and her eyes widened. Then she remembered she was at work, and she lowered her tone. “What kind of mother just ups and leaves her children?”

  “We don’t know what demons drove Lenora to do the things she has. The situation is terrible, and I’m sorry to hear about it.” Ruth silently asked God to forgive her for that little white lie she had just told. A part of Ruth rejoiced upon hearing the news of Daniel’s marital woes. She just wasn’t about to reveal that fact to anyone.

  “Daddy barely raised us, so he doesn’t have a clue as to how significantly his life is about to change. I don’t know how he’s going to cope with three little boys with very minimal home training. Poor Daddy,” Sarah observed. She looked up to see a coworker walking inside her office, pointing to her watch. “Momma, I’ve got to go. I’ll call you back later when I have more news.”

  “Okay, sweetie. I’ll talk to you later. I’m sure everything will work out for your dad.” Ruth clicked off her cell phone and sat in her parked car for a few minutes.