Letting Misery Go

by Michelle Larks

  “You’re right about everything, Uncle Fred. Look, I’m going to spend the night with Daddy, so I’m going to turn in. I have to get up early to get the boys ready for school. I’ll see you next time. Don’t be a stranger.” She rose from the chair, walked around the table, and kissed her father and uncle. Then she walked upstairs.

  “She’s a wonderful woman, Danny. Sarah dropped everything and came to be by your side. It don’t get no better than that,” Fred said.

  “Sounds like you done got soft in your older years, my brother,” Daniel remarked.

  “Nope, I ain’t gonna say all of that. But sometimes you gotta grow up and do the right thing. Now tell me what happened with Nora,” Fred said.

  Fred poured two shots of gin and passed a glass to his brother as Daniel spilled his guts. Fred was Daniel’s hero when they were growing up. They had been raised by their hell-raising grandmother. She was an alcoholic, who was emotionally absent from their lives. The men had become somewhat estranged after Daniel married Lenora. She wasn’t crazy about her brother-in-law, because she felt his allegiance was toward Ruth and Daniel’s family.

  An hour had elapsed before Daniel finished telling his tale. “So that’s where I am. Time flies, and before you know it, I’ll be seventy years old. Now I’m stuck raising three little boys. If anyone had told me this would’ve happened to me, I never would have believed it. I still can’t believe Nora left me,” he said.

  “You know what they say, bro, stuff happens.” Fred nodded as he waved his hand in the air. “You gotta pick up the pieces and keep moving on. Are you gonna be able to keep this house? I never understood why you two needed such a big place to live.” Fred sipped a little gin.

  “Because Nora was determined to keep up with the Joneses. I used money from annuities and IRAs for the down payment on the house, so the mortgage isn’t too bad. But she didn’t leave me a lot of money after she cleaned out our accounts. I’ll be lucky if I can cover the living expenses for the next few months with just my pension. But I don’t think I want to stay here; there are too many bad memories in this house.” Daniel flung his hand and sighed. “I know stuff happens, but it wasn’t supposed to happen to me. I feel like I’ve lost control of my life. What do I really know about raising kids? Shoot, Ruthie raised our kids, and me and Nora had a nanny for the boys until the economy got bad. Fred, I don’t think Nora’s coming back,” he lamented, looking sorrowful.

  “What makes you think that?” Fred questioned. “Maybe she’ll miss the boys and come to her senses?”

  “That’s all she would be coming back to. I wouldn’t take her back if someone paid me a million dollars. She didn’t think I knew, but she had been messing around on me with a man much younger than her. Game knows game. But my pride wouldn’t let me confront her. I didn’t want to have to raise the boys alone. I wanted her to stay.” Daniel shook his head in disbelief. “Look how things have turned out. She left me, anyway. And dang it, if I ain’t married to a cougar!”

  Fred threw back his head and laughed gustily. “Do you have any chips?”

  Daniel told him there were some in the kitchen.

  When Fred returned to the dining room with chips in hand, Daniel continued speaking. “So I wasn’t surprised when she up and left, even though I told the Johnsons that I was. What happens in this house isn’t really their business. Lenora had been staying out all hours of the night, and too cheerful, all happy, singing and stuff. Know what I mean?”

  “Man, I can’t believe she played you like that.” Fred couldn’t believe Daniel’s revelations. “You know what I wanna say, but I’ll leave it for another day. So what you gonna do?”

  “I think I should give the boys to Felicia or Glenda, and let them raise ’em,” Daniel answered. He took a tiny sip of gin and swallowed.

  “I don’t think you want them to go with Glenda and Ernest. The boys ain’t used to that kind of life. You want better for the boys, not worse.”

  “I know what you mean, Fred, but I don’t have the energy to raise a family by myself,” Daniel confessed candidly.

  “There’s still some life left in you, Danny boy. Think about the boys, and leave your pride out of it,” Fred advised.

  Daniel shrugged his shoulders. “The man Nora left me for is barely legal. When I say a lot younger, I mean he’s only in his twenties. Shoot, Nora’s only a few years younger than Sarah. She’s old enough to be his mother. I don’t know what she was thinking. And to marry him, she must be out of her mind.”

  “Ain’t Ernest and Glenda still living in that same apartment they was living in when you met them all those years ago?”

  “Yep.” Daniel nodded. “They still live in South Shore on Colfax Avenue.”

  “How you gonna let them boys move from Olympia Fields to the South Side of Chicago? We ain’t talking about one of the better neighborhoods. You want them to end up like them twin brothers of Lenora? What’s their names? Jumbo and Jimbo?”

  Daniel laughed. “Their names are Jabari and Jamal.” Then the laughter left his eyes. “You’re right. I don’t want them to turn out like them bangers.”

  “Then why would you even think of sending the boys there? That ain’t gonna work, man.”

  “You right. I guess I need to think about this some more,” Daniel said morosely.

  “Darn right, you do,” Fred fussed at his brother.

  Fred was still outspoken, and said what was on his mind. He had not gained an ounce of weight over the years. His signature single braid was now entwined with gray. Lines crossed his face, but his eyes were twinkling and clear. Fred’s mind was as sharp as ever. He had matured over the years after watching his younger brother make a debacle of his life. Fred had even settled down to just admiring one woman, turning in his player’s card. The brothers had become estranged over the past few years due to Lenora’s feeling that Fred was closer to Daniel’s first family. Fred had never told Daniel about his change of lifestyle. Sarah called Fred and explained Daniel’s dilemma, and Fred made it his business to see his brother and show his support.

  “If you had to send them away, Felicia and Reggie would be the better choice. You know all Ernest wants to do is get his hands on some money,” Fred mused.

  “That’s the truth. For somebody who barely got a pot to pee in, he always had high aspirations for someone else’s dollar.” Daniel chuckled.

  “Yes, he did. Glenda is okay, but she’ll do what her old man wants. Have you talked to Naomi lately?” Fred changed the subject. His chin rested on the palm of one of his hands.

  “Yeah, she called today, sounding all fake and stuff, trying to get the story out of me. She even said she might come home over the weekend. Since she moved to Edwardsville she don’t come home much. And when she comes to Chicago, she don’t come to see me,” Daniel said.

  “If she calls, that means she still has feelings for you. Nay ain’t been right since she found out Sarah and Brian are her parents,” Fred observed.

  “Naw, the truth is, Nay ain’t had much use for me since Ruth and I divorced. Nay called just to get in my business. We wasn’t never close, like me and Sarah are. Nay calls me on my birthday, and we see each other about once a year. She couldn’t stand Lenora, so she wouldn’t come to this house.”

  “Count your blessings, Danny. At least she’s still a part of your life. I hope you’ve been trying to mend your relationship with DJ?” Fred shifted his body on the chair.

  “Nope, things are about the same with me and DJ. I can’t get through to him. But I will think about doing what’s best for the boys. Sarah said the same things you’re saying. But I don’t think I can be there for them, man, I’m old.”

  “Ain’t nothing old about you but your mind. The doctor told you years ago to resume your life. You act like you had a heart attack yesterday. It happened a long time ago, and it was from you taking Viagra when you didn’t need to. I think Lenora leaving might be the best thing that happened to you. At least you can work on getting the old Danny bac
k, and making good with all your children,” Fred pronounced.

  “You sure you haven’t been talking to Ruth?” Daniel guffawed. Then he became sober. “You haven’t, have you?” he asked his brother suspiciously.

  “I talk to Ruth sometimes, and visit The Temple every now and again,” Fred admitted.

  “Dang, I feel like I’m in that movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and someone done got my big brother,” Daniel told Fred disapprovingly.

  “Nope, that ain’t what happened. Little brother, I done grew up. I visit with my kids and grandkids. We ain’t getting old, we just getting mellow. It’s time we get it together before our time is up.”

  “I swear, having this conversation with you is becoming more and more like talking to the Claytons, my former in-laws.” He lightly tapped Fred’s wrist. “Where is my brother? Fred, come on out.”

  “You got jokes, huh? I realize I didn’t raise you right, and didn’t give you the right advice when it came to women. I accept the responsibility. But now you gotta step up and be there for them boys. They ain’t asked to come here, and you gotta do right by them,” Fred said.

  “Seriously, Fred, I don’t think them living with me would be the best for them. I’m old enough to be their grandfather. Heck, great-grandfather in some parts of the world.”

  “You might be old enough to be their great-granddaddy, but you ain’t. You the daddy, so you gotta act like one. Shoot, I’m older than you, but I’ll help you. I realize now that nothing comes before the love of family. I ain’t got much, but I’ll do what I can,” Fred offered. He looked up to see a tear trickle down Daniel’s face, and he looked at his brother with astonishment. He got up from his seat and walked over to Daniel. “Man, one thing hasn’t changed over the years. We still brothers, and I got your back.” He leaned down and clasped his arm around Daniel’s shoulder.

  Daniel quickly wiped his face and sniffed loudly. “Thanks, Fred, I needed that. I really missed talking to you. I’m just scared. I didn’t really raise Sarah, DJ, and Naomi. What if I mess up with the boys?”

  “You got too many people helping you to mess up this time. As much as we make fun of the Johnsons, we know that family is important to Glenda and Felicia. Sarah has always been on your side. She’s a good woman, like her mother. You ain’t got to go through this alone. Just don’t make any snap judgments you might regret. You got a chance to make a difference in them boy’s lives.”

  “I know you right. I just need time to figure out how I’m gonna pull everything together.”

  Fred looked at his watch. “Look, I gotta go. I’ma come back tomorrow, and we’ll talk some more. I just don’t want you to give up on life and yourself. There’s still a whole lot of life to be lived.” He stood up and put his White Sox cap on his head.

  The men walked to the foyer and said farewell. Daniel locked the door and turned the light off in the dining room. He sat on the couch and decided he didn’t want to sleep in his and Lenora’s bedroom, at least not tonight.

  He walked to the foyer, flipped on the light, and took a blanket from the closet. He shuffled to the couch, lay down on it, and pulled the blanket over his shoulders. He chuckled as he thought how Lenora would have a fit if she knew he was laying on the couch.

  Daniel felt a burst of nostalgia. He wondered what Ruth would have to say about the changes in his life. He shook his head, musing on how messy his life had become. Daniel missed his life with Ruth and his other children. He loved his young sons, but there was an order to his life with Ruth, which he’d missed during his marriage to Lenora.

  Daniel hit the side of his head. He thought he must be crazy to care what Ruth would think. He shied away from the thought that he still had feelings for Ruth. A smile softened Daniel’s features as he dreamed about his past life with his ex-wife.

  Chapter Seven

  On Wednesday, Ruth awakened at six o’clock in the morning. She had dressed and eaten breakfast, and was sitting at the kitchen table, although Alice’s appointment was many hours away. Ruth felt a spirit of anxiety, mainly because she had tossed and turned the night before. She kept trying to quell her fears about Alice’s procedure, but she wasn’t quite able to swat away the butterflies fluttering inside her stomach.

  The Bible on Ruth’s nightstand kept calling out to her. She walked into her bedroom and sat on the side of the neatly made bed. She picked up the Word and turned to Joshua 1:9.

  Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

  She closed her eyes and bowed her head and prayed. Ruth spent the next hour meditating on God’s Word, and preparing for what lay ahead. When she was done, she turned the radio to her favorite gospel station. The telephone rang.

  “Hello, this is Reverend Wilcox. How may I help you?”

  “Good morning, Reverend Wilcox, this is Aron Reynolds. I hope I haven’t awakened you. I’m an early riser, and I thought you might be too. I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for a couple of days,” he said.

  “Mr. Reynolds, how are you doing? I planned to call you later today. What can I do for you?” Ruth asked Aron, glancing at her watch.

  “I’m doing fine. Look, the reason I called you was because Monet told me there was a position open at the church for a janitor, and I wanted to apply for the job.”

  “Oh, okay. Yes, there is an open position, but I’m not sure if it will be a paying one yet. Church funds are tight. But are you sure you’re up to the task? Oh, my, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded,” Ruth apologized, feeling flustered.

  Aron laughed aloud. “No harm taken. I may be up in age, but I’m stronger than I look. I have a lot of free time on my hands, and need something to do to fill that time. I’m certainly capable of sweeping, mopping, and any other tasks the job calls for.”

  “Well, I don’t know.” Ruth was at a loss for words. “I had planned to ask for volunteers for the upkeep of the church, at least temporarily.”

  “Reverend Wilcox, I have so much free time on my hands that it wouldn’t be a problem for me to volunteer for whatever needs to be done. Why don’t you let me try on a trial basis, and see how it goes?” Aron requested.

  “Um, that seems fair. Why don’t I give you a call tomorrow or the next day? I have a meeting scheduled with the finance committee next Friday. I need to concentrate all my energies on the meeting. And after the meeting, I’ll be able to let you know if the job will be a paying one or not. I apologize for not getting back to you when you called.”

  “Fair enough. I’ll be waiting for your call, Reverend Wilcox. I also wanted to tell you that I find you to be a phenomenal woman. You are truly an inspiration to the church.” Aron cleared his throat, as if he was going to continue speaking but didn’t.

  “Thank you, Mr. Reynolds. God knows I try to lead by example. It’s nice to know that church members appreciate my efforts,” Ruth replied with a smile in her voice.

  “Well, I know that you inspire Monet and Marcus. They’re always singing your praises.”

  Ruth asked how the Caldwell family was doing, and Aron told her everyone was fine.

  “Monet told me how she has her hands full raising the twin boys,” Ruth added, enjoying her conversation with Aron.

  “That’s the truth. Marcus and Micah are busy little fellas. Faith loves being a big sister. Her personality reminds me so much of my late wife, Gay,” Aron remarked of his grandchildren.

  “Faith is certainly an old soul. As people used to say back in the day, she’s been here before,” Ruth replied, nodding her head.

  “I won’t take up any more of your time, Reverend Wilcox. I’ll talk to you later this week. Enjoy your day. I presume even ministers are allowed to do that?” Aron teasingly asked Ruth.

  “Thank you, you do the same. And yes, Mr. Reynolds, ministers are allowed to enjoy themselves. We are not always stuffy, upright religious people in a suit with white collars, sprouting sc
riptures all the time. A good many of us are married with children, and we face everyday problems like everyone else.” Ruth’s face warmed with embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come off self-righteous or anything.”

  “I enjoyed talking with you, Reverend Wilcox. I like what I’m hearing, and at my age, believe me, I know no one is immune from problems in life.”

  Ruth was surprised that Aron grasped the meaning of her words. She had a feeling he knew exactly what she was saying.

  “Have a blessed day, Mr. Reynolds,” Ruth said as she began ending the call.

  “Please call me Aron. I hope one day I can call you Ruth. Good-bye.”

  Ruth still held the telephone to her ear. The strident recorded message of “If you’d like to make a call” sounded in her ear. With a puzzled look on her face, she hastily put the phone back into the cradle and stroked her chin. She had a strong feeling that Aron Reynolds had attempted to put the moves on her. A sense of giddiness filled Ruth’s body. Then like a switch had been thrown, the feeling dissipated.

  “What am I thinking?” Ruth scolded herself aloud. “I’m way too old for that kind of foolishness. I’m a grandmother. There’s no way I can have a relationship with another man as long as I still have feelings for Daniel.”

  She abruptly closed her lips and sat heavily on the bed as she waited for Alice to call her. Alice knocked lightly on Ruth’s front door a few minutes later. When Ruth opened the door, she noted her friend looked peaceful.

  Ruth greeted her. “You’re early, I was supposed to pick you up. How are you feeling? Are you ready to go?” Her eyes searched Alice’s face.

  “I’m okay. I am just impatient and ready to get the appointment over with. So I came here instead of you coming next door. Anyway, I prayed for good news this morning, and God does answer prayer. How are you feeling?” Alice’s face was drawn. She looked tired, as if she hadn’t gotten much sleep.

  “I’m good. I just need to get my sweater, and then we can get out of here.” Ruth opened the closet and pulled a lightweight cardigan out of it.