Passion, Victoria 12: Jewel of a Jillaroo (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Becca Van

  “Tell me all of it,” Ash demanded.

  * * * *

  By the time she’d told the whole story, she was exhausted, and not just emotionally. Yes, she felt drained after the telling, but she also felt relieved, relieved that now she’d spoken of it and it felt like a huge weight had shifted from her shoulders.

  None of them had said anything besides their first outbursts, and as the silence continued, she began to tense up again.

  “Thank you for telling us,” Ash said in a hoarse voice. “I know how difficult that must have been.”

  Jewel nodded.

  “Don’t for one minute think that what happened was your fault, honey, or that we blame you.” Cal grasped her hand and squeezed it.

  “Thanks for trusting us, baby,” Finch said. “We knew something bad had happened to you because of the bruises on your face.”

  “We’ll alert the local authorities and other men in and around town in case this fucker gets out of jail early,” Heath said.

  “Do you think he will?”

  She looked up at Ash when he swallowed audibly. His head was tipped back and his eyes were shut tight. He swallowed again and she watched, mesmerised, as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down again. He must have felt her watching him, because he lowered his head and met her eyes.

  “Was it his first offense?”

  “Yes. That’s one of the reasons the judge said why he was being so lenient on him.”

  “Damn.” Cal lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it.

  “I don’t understand our justice system. Why don’t these criminals get harsher sentences? They do minimal time before they’re released back into society where they only end up doing the same thing, or worse.”

  “I don’t know, sweetheart. It doesn’t seem fair, does it?” Ash asked.

  “No.”

  Ash kissed her head and then he reached for the platter of sandwiches. He loaded his plate up and then he handed her half a sandwich. Jewel looked at it and wasn’t sure she was hungry anymore. She was feeling lethargic and just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep.

  “Eat it, Jewel.” Cal pinned her with a determined stare. “You need to keep your strength up.”

  “Cal, back off.” Finch glared at Cal. “Can’t you see she’s in pain?”

  “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Ash asked as he scrutinised her face. “Do you have a headache?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’ll get some painkillers.” Heath got up and rushed into the kitchen.

  “You look tired, darlin’,” Cal said. “Have you been having trouble sleeping?”

  “Sometimes,” she answered evasively.

  “Now that I know is a downright lie,” Ash said. “We’ve all heard you pacing in your room and seen the light shining under your door at all hours.”

  “You’ve been keeping tabs on me?”

  “We were worried about you, darlin’.” Heath dropped the blister pack of pills onto the table and placed a glass of water in front of her.

  “Baby, have you been reliving what happened to you in your dreams?” Finch asked.

  Jewel lowered her eyes, reached for the generic pain medicine and nodded. She pushed two tablets out through the foil pack, popped them into her mouth and swallowed them down with a mouthful of water.

  “No wonder you have dark marks under your eyes.” Ash stroked the pad of his thumb beneath her eyes. “I want you to rest this afternoon. A nap will do you good.”

  “I’m here to work.”

  “God, but you’re stubborn. I don’t give a bloody damn about work. Your health is more important than the fucking chores.” Ash leaned his chin on her head.

  “Jewel, don’t you realise how important you are to us?” Cal asked. “We care about you, darlin’, and don’t want you getting sick.”

  Jewel met his eyes and saw sincerity there. When she looked at Heath and Finch, she saw they were on board with his brother.

  “We want a relationship with you, sweetheart.” Ash leaned down and pressed his cheek against hers.

  “We think we could have something special if you’d just let us in.”

  Chapter Six

  Finch held his breath as he waited for Jewel to react to Ash’s declaration. She looked so damn small and fragile against his brother’s brawny body, but he knew that was far from the truth. Although, right at the moment, she was as pale as a ghost and the dark marks beneath her eyes stood out in stark contrast.

  At first, she didn’t react at all. She didn’t move or look at any of them, but kept her gaze on a spot on the wall behind him, and the hope that had built up in his heart began to leech away like the colourless pallor of her face. But then she drew in a deep breath and her eyes filled with moisture, and he couldn’t remain so far away from her without touching her.

  He pushed his chair back, hurried around the table, and lifted her from Ash’s lap and into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist and buried her face into the crook of his neck.

  “Shh, babe. Don’t cry. You don’t need to worry about us hurting you or touching you. We would never invade your personal space, Jewel. We won’t force you to do anything.”

  He looked at his brothers as they frowned with concern. He had no idea what had upset her, but he did what he could to soothe her.

  Ash stood up and caressed a hand over Jewel’s hair. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “You didn’t.” Jewel’s voice was muffled, but they heard her just fine.

  “If Ash didn’t upset you, then what’s wrong, darlin’?” Cal asked as moved to stand at their side.

  “I-I’ve been so lonely.”

  Finch’s heart ached when he heard the pain in her voice and squeezed her tighter, but not hard enough to hurt her. “You don’t have to be lonely anymore, babe.”

  Jewel lifted her head and wiped her cheeks on her material-covered shoulders, and then sniffed. “Really?”

  “Yes, really,” Heath answered as he stroked a finger down her cheek.

  “So what do you want from me?” She licked her lips nervously. “Sex? And if I gave in and let you do that to me, what then?”

  “Let’s sit back down at the table,” Ash said.

  Finch reluctantly walked back to the table and would have sat with Jewel in his lap, but she wriggled until he released her, and, to his disappointment, sat in her own chair.

  “Finish your lunch, baby. You hardly ate any breakfast this morning.” Heath pointed to her plate.

  “Good.” Finch smiled at her when she picked up the sandwich and bit into it. He nodded his approval. When she rolled her eyes at him, he had to hide his smirk by taking a sip of coffee.

  “We don’t just want to have sex with you, Jewel. We want a permanent relationship with you,” Cal stated.

  Jewel coughed and spluttered. Her eyes watered and Finch leaned over to rub her back. She waved him away and then sipped her juice.

  “You hardly know me.”

  “Yes, we do.” Ash put another sandwich on her plate, gave her a stern stare and pointed at it. “You need to eat that and another one, too.”

  “Sir, yes sir.” Jewel saluted and scowled at Ash.

  Finch burst out laughing. She looked so damn cute and sexy. She was definitely the woman for them. There was no way she would let him and his brothers' walk all over her, and he was glad. They didn’t want a woman who would scrape and bow to all their whims and demands. They had served in the military and were used to being on their toes and giving orders. Jewel would undeniably stand up to them if they pushed her too hard, and that’s just what they wanted. Life would be boring if their woman did everything she was told. He loved that she was independent and wouldn’t hesitate to go toe-to-toe with any of them.

  Ash grinned at her. “Sassy. I like that.”

  “You do?”

  “Of course we do,” Cal replied. “You are an independent woman, Jewel. We expect you to stand up for
yourself.”

  “You’ve spent way too much time pushing people away, honey,” Heath said. “Someone in your past hurt you, and you’ve spent most of your life travelling around so you wouldn’t get too close to anyone.”

  “How do you know…?”

  “You have so much love to give,” Finch said. “You treat the horses like you would children, and I suspect you’d do the same with the cattle if you had more time to bond with them, too.”

  “Did you think I didn’t notice the way you worried over me when that damn cow knocked me on my arse the other day?” Ash asked.

  “But…”

  “But what, darlin’?” Heath asked.

  “I’ve…I’ve…There are four of you,” Jewel blurted out.

  Finch had a suspicion niggling in his mind, but before he formed that thought fully, he wanted to ask her some more questions.

  “Jewel, where are your parents?”

  She sucked in a breath as if his question hurt her, and he hated that he caused her any pain, but he really needed to know.

  “I don’t have any.”

  “You grew up in foster homes?” Ash asked in a gentle voice.

  Finch had never heard that tone from his older brother before and was glad that he was tempering his usual demanding self.

  “No. I grew up in a children’s home.”

  “How old were you when you left?” Heath asked.

  “Eighteen.” Jewel sighed with resignation and then continued on. “I wanted to leave sooner, but I didn’t have a license, and although I could have used public transport, I had this huge need to be independent. I was sick of answering to other people. I was lucky enough to get a job as a stable hand close enough to the home so that I could walk there. I took every extra hour I could and worked my arse off. Other than paying a driving instructor for lessons, I saved every penny I could.

  “I’d been eying Benjy off every day for three long years, and the day I turned eighteen, I knocked on the owner’s door and bought him. From that day, I never once looked back.”

  “God, baby. You are the strongest, bravest, sexiest woman I have ever known,” Ash said.

  “I’m not strong. I get scared, but I’m too determined to let fear stop me from achieving my goals.”

  “And have you?” Finch asked.

  “Have I what?”

  “Achieved your goals?”

  “The ones I made in the orphanage? Yes.”

  “Have you ever wanted to get married?” Cal asked.

  “What about kids?” Heath asked.

  “I never allowed myself to think beyond each day.”

  Finch caught the past tense in her last statement and hoped she was ready to begin dreaming for more. But what he really hoped for was that she would start dreaming about them. Him and his brothers. Spending years working and loving with them and hopefully, in the not-too-distant future, having kids with them.

  He sighed with nervousness. Even though he never asked her outright, he had the answer to his unspoken question. When he glanced at each of his brothers, he knew they had caught on. Their Jewel had never had sex before, and was probably scared out of her mind at the thought of all of them wanting to make love with her.

  * * * *

  Jewel had only allowed herself to get through each day, not thinking of the next or of the future at all, but when she’d met Ash, Cal, Heath and Finch, she began to yearn for more. Was she really contemplating having a relationship with them?

  Yes, I am.

  What will they do if they find out I’ve never had sex before? Will they look at me as if I’m an anomaly? Will they laugh at me?

  God, Jewel, you are so messed up. Why would they care if you’re experienced or not?

  She was glad that she’d told them about her childhood and about Reilly attacking her. She’d felt a little guilty for holding out on them. She had no idea why she felt that way, but she did. Maybe it was because she had feelings for all four of them. Maybe it was because she was sick of running and felt like this could be a place she could set down roots.

  Each and every one of them had gone out of their way to make her feel at ease with them, and the more she got to know them, the more her confidence grew. She didn’t want to even think about leaving when she had Benjy back, although she missed having him here with her. He was her independence and she hated feeling like she was stuck.

  And then she realised that she didn’t feel trapped on the Handley Farm and never had. She felt safe and secure, and had a feeling that each of them would put their bodies in the line of fire to protect her. Not that she wanted them to get hurt because of her, but it gave her a warm, fuzzy feeling inside, and more of her wall tumbled down until she felt like her heart was wide open.

  “Do you like kids, Jewel?” Cal’s voice drew her from her introspection.

  “Yes, but after the orphanage, I haven’t had much to do with them.”

  “So you want to have your own kids one day?” Heath pressed for an answer.

  “Yes, I think I do.” The thought of holding her very own child filled her heart with such a deep yearning she had to blink to keep the tears burning the back of her eyes at bay.

  “So you want to get married,” Ash stated rather than asked.

  She met his heated look for a moment before looking at the tabletop. “Yes, I suppose I do.”

  Finch reached out and clasped her hand. “Have you had enough to eat, babe?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good.” Finch tugged on her hand, helped her to her feet and started to guide her out of the room.

  “Where are we going?”

  “You are going to go to your bedroom to rest.”

  “I feel better after taking the headache pills. I don’t need—”

  “Do as you’re told, Jewel,” Ash called from the kitchen.

  “Arrogant jerk,” she muttered.

  “Now, now, honey. Don’t be like that. We are only trying to look after you.”

  “I don’t need looking after, Finch. I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time.”

  “And you’ve done such a great job, babe.”

  “Are you being facetious?”

  “No. I was being sincere. But if you could see the dark marks under your eyes and how pale you are, you’d be worried about you, too.”

  “I suppose, but I’ve never taken a nap in the middle of the day before. I really should be out working.”

  “Bosses’ orders, Jewel. Don’t argue.”

  She sighed with resignation and let him guide her into her bedroom. She didn’t want to lie down and go to sleep. Every time, without fail, she ended up dreaming about Reilly, and each time she did, it changed. She was scared it would end up with him raping her in her nightmares and that she would scream at the top of her lungs.

  When she got to the bed, she sat on the side and then pulled her boots off. She looked up to see Finch watching her every move like a hawk. He was leaning casually against the wall beside the partially open door and didn’t look like he was moving any time soon.

  There was no way she was stripping down while he was watching her, no matter what her body was craving. The only time she’d been nearly naked with a man was when that fucker had attacked her. She scooted back on the bed until she was resting against the headboard and fidgeted with the cover beneath her.

  She glanced up when Finch pushed off the wall and tensed when he sat on the other side of the bed. When she heard one thud and then another, like he was removing his boots, she began to get worried.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m going to take a nap with you.” Finch laid down on the bed on his side and propped his head on his hand. He patted the mattress. “Come on, baby. You need to sleep.”

  “I’m not having sex with you,” she blurted, and then winced. She hadn’t meant to say those words and reveal her inner turmoil.

  “No, you’re not. We are going to lie down her and snuggle. You’re exhausted.”

  Jew
el’s mind was racing so fast she could barely keep up. First, a flash of Reilly on top of her seared her brain, but then her traitorous imagination went off the rails. In her mind, all four of the Handley brothers touched and kissed her one after the other, and then they were all touching and kissing her at the same time.

  She gasped for breath and hoped Finch would think she was wary of him and not craving for his touch. Her heart flipped and heat traversed her veins. Her duplicitous nipples ached and hardened, and her clit throbbed, making her pussy clench, and she was so damn wet, her panties were downright uncomfortable. With another glance at Finch, she shifted down the bed and rolled to her side so that her back was to him.

  The mattress dipped and she held her breath when she felt the heat coming off of Finch’s body as he moved closer. And then she exhaled gustily and tensed when his front pressed against her back and he slung an arm over her hips, resting a large hand on her lower belly.

  “Relax, Jewel.” She shivered when his warm breath caressed her ear and hoped he hadn’t noticed her reaction. “Take a couple of nice, slow, deep breaths and then release them. As you exhale, let the tension seep away and close your eyes.”

  Jewel did what he said, and as she exhaled for the third time, she felt the tautness leave her muscles, and a tingling warmth travelled from the tip of her toes, up her legs, belly, torso, chest and shoulders until she felt like she was sinking into the mattress. Even though she was very aware of Finch plastered up against her back, she was now too relaxed and tired to worry, or care.

  Her mind drifted as she soaked up being held in Finch’s arms, but she wanted to feel so much more than his body pressed against her and him holding her. She wished neither of them had clothes on and she could feel what it was like to be skin-to-skin with him. But she wanted to know what it would be like to be naked with Ash, Cal and Heath, too. However, she wasn’t sure she was brave enough to ask for or do anything to perpetuate the deep yearning she had inside.

  Chapter Seven

  Cal nodded at Finch as he passed him in the hall. Finch grabbed his shoulder so he turned to meet his brother’s gaze.