The Queen's Companion

by Maggi Petton

  Bella searched Catherine’s eyes. She turned Catherine’s hand, placing the palm on her cheek. Slowly, tenderly, while she continued to hold that hand, Bella turned her head and kissed Catherine’s palm. Her lips lingered there and felt no resistance. She kissed the palm again and again, then drew Catherine’s arm toward her. Bella was kissing her wrist…and the soft, underside of her arm between her wrist and elbow.

  Catherine could not move. Every sense betrayed her and she realized that she was dizzy and lightheaded. A moan escaped her. Bella stopped, raised her hand and placed it on Catherine’s cheek. “I do not wish to leave,” she whispered. Her eyes beseeched Catherine to understand.

  In response, Catherine brought a trembling free hand up, cupping Bella’s face gently. Slowly, her eyes never leaving Bella’s, she leaned closer. Her lips sought Bella’s and found them.

  Catherine’s breath quickened. Her entire body quivered. The strength that made her a force with which to be reckoned, that helped her to stand strong against her enemies, simply left her. She could feel, and hear, her own heart pounding in her ears. When she could, once again, open her eyes, she pulled away slightly from Bella. Bella looked into her eyes and smiled. Catherine was drawn into another kiss.

  The pounding in Catherine’s ears threatened to deafen her. Every sense now returned with heightened awareness. Bella’s breath soft on her cheek, the feel of Bella’s hair moving through her fingers, the touch of Bella’s hands on her face, the taste of Bella’s mouth on hers, the pounding, pounding in her ears. Then, another sound, more distant. The pounding of horses’ hooves.

  “Captain!” A cry from just over the rise. “Captain!” the cry even more urgent.

  Robert, having heard the call first was already on his horse and heading toward the rider. Catherine was on her feet in an instant. She recognized Remy and could not imagine what crisis could cause the young man to be so urgent. The men spoke briefly then turned their horses and rode toward Catherine and Isabella.

  When they were nearly upon the women, Remy leapt from his horse and knelt before her, “Majesty.”

  If the gasp that escaped from Bella distracted her, Catherine did not let it show. “Robert, what is it?” she demanded.

  “My wife is in labor and is asking for me…Majesty,” even in his hurry he was aware that the Queen’s title was, at last, revealed to Isabella.

  “Go to her,” Catherine commanded.

  As he wheeled his horse around, Robert shouted to the young soldier, “Stay and guard your queen. “

  “Yes, Captain.”

  Robert was gone from sight and sound in a few seconds.

  The queen directed the young soldier to retrieve the horses. She turned to speak…to no one. Bella was already nearing the horses. When she reached them, she mounted and rode away, disappearing in the same way Robert had gone.

  Chapter Eight

  When she arrived outside her private quarters, Catherine found Marie pacing. When asked, Marie informed her that Lady Isabella stormed into the quarters and demanded that she leave. Marie expressed her distress over this, but the queen reassured her and dismissed her for the remainder of the day.

  She entered her quarters and closed the doors behind her. The day had been quite unusual so far, and she did not know what to expect next.

  Bella was pacing near the pallet. She looked up as Catherine entered.

  “Queen?” she spat. “Queen! When were you…?”

  “I meant to tell you,” Catherine interrupted. “It just never seemed the right time.”

  “The right time for who?” demanded Bella.

  “At first, for you,” Catherine ventured. “The physician was concerned that such knowledge would cause distress and prevent your healing.”

  Bella continued to pace. “And once my healing was certain and I was no longer in danger, then what? Was it a game for you then?” She stopped her pacing and turned to face Catherine. “Did it amuse you to pretend to be someone else with me? Have I entertained you adequately…Majesty?” The scorn in her tone remained in the room long after her voice had faded away.

  Catherine started toward Bella but stopped when she saw the fire in her eyes. “I don’t know why you’re so angry. What’s changed?” Even as she spoke the words, however, she knew that the newfound knowledge of who she was must feel like a betrayal to Bella.

  “You are Queen!” Bella exploded. “How can that not change everything? If your royalty were not an issue why be concerned to conceal your title at all? You cannot have both ways in the matter. And what am I to do with this knowledge now?” Bella’s hands flew to her hips as she glared at Catherine.

  “I cannot answer that question for you.” With that, Catherine turned and marched into the bedroom, leaving Bella in the sitting area.

  She managed to stay upright until she reached her bed. There, she grasped the bedcovers and slid slowly to her knees. Whether from fear of losing Bella or the exhaustion of having dealt with a multitude of feelings she had never before experienced, it was an effort just to stand.

  She had no sense of time, or how long she sat on the floor. But then, Bella was beside her, sitting in silence. After a while Bella said, “I need to know why you kept your identity from me.”

  A long sigh, filled with a lifetime of weariness escaped from Catherine. “By the time it was clear that you would recover I realized how much I enjoyed your company. Until you arrived, I had not known how empty my quarters had always seemed. I do not expect you to understand.”

  “That does not explain the deception,” Bella prodded.

  “Your company was unhindered by your perception of who I was. You don’t know what it is to live with the kind of authority that comes with such a title! You don’t know what it is to watch as people agree with you when you know they should not…to bend to your will when you want nothing more than for them to stand up to you… to watch the fear wash over their faces when they realize you approach!” She was near tears, but would not succumb. “I did not want that with you. I wanted…I want you free to be yourself with me. And I don’t have the ability to imagine that freedom exists.”

  “Is it me, or yourself that you don’t trust?” Bella queried.

  “I don’t know,” Catherine responded.

  They remained on the floor, leaning against the queen’s bed. Finally, Bella broke the silence. “I can accept who you are. I can even accept that you may never wholly belong to any one person because of who you are. What I cannot abide is a fear that causes you to be dishonest with me. If you believe that your title will cause me to behave differently to you, then we are doomed. I won’t spend a single moment trying to convince you otherwise. You must know it, or not.” Bella stood and left the room.

  Catherine remained sitting on the floor for some time. When she finally did get up, she walked to the sitting area. Although it was only mid-afternoon, Bella was sound asleep on her pallet.

  Catherine stayed in her bedroom for the remainder of the day. Bella continued to sleep soundly. Catherine did not disturb her. Finally, weary from the days’ events, Catherine prepared herself for bed. As tired as she was, sleep eluded her. She ruminated on the day. Her body would not still. Finally she rose and went out onto her balcony. She was watching a cloud pass across the face of the moon when she heard Bella cry out.

  Although not with as much frequency, Bella still suffered from nightmares. Catherine stood over her and watched, waiting to see if Bella would slip back into a restful sleep on her own, but she cried out again. Bella’s eyes flew open in terror and she did not know where she was. “Bella, Bella. I am here. You are safe,” whispered Catherine as she enfolded Bella in her arms. Bella’s heart was racing and her breath came in short, quick bursts. She clung to Catherine, until she calmed. When, finally, her breathing returned to normal she said, “Thank you, I am fine now.” She lay back down.

  Catherine took her words and action to mean that Bella wanted to be left alone. She rose and made her way back to her own bedroom.<
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  With a sadness that threatened to crumble her, Catherine stood near her balcony doors, but did not venture out. The moon was uncovered and by its light the emptiness of her bed was all the more illuminated. The thought of a lifetime of sleeping in that bed alone was almost too much to bear. She shut her eyes tightly to keep out the vision, and to hold back the tears.

  The feather light touch on her cheek brought her back to the moonlit room. Bella was there, in front of her, reaching out to her.

  “I…” she began, but Bella’s fingers moved to cover her mouth.

  Wordlessly, Bella’s fingers trailed down Catherine’s face and neck, tracing the line of her collarbone. Her hand rested there, momentarily, and then tugged at the ribbon that closed the queen’s night dressing. With both hands Bella pushed the gown off of Catherine’s shoulders and let it fall to the floor. Neither of them breathed. Catherine’s heart fluttered.

  Bella’s eyes hadn’t left Catherine’s, but now her gaze moved slowly downward to Catherine’s lips. She reached up and placed her fingertips lightly on Catherine’s mouth. Then her eyes and fingers drew a soft, tentative line down Catherine’s neck. As they moved further down Catherine shivered and inhaled, sharply. When Bella’s fingers drew softly over her nipples Catherine’s mouth opened in surprise, her eyes closed and she was pulled, willingly and unwillingly toward her still warring thoughts. As Bella’s hands and fingers continued their delicate descent down to Catherine’s hips, the queen sought the will to resist. Her mind called out to God for help to battle this betrayal of her body. Then hands, softer than velvet, glided around her. Bella was behind her running her palms up her sides and back down to the gentle curve of Catherine’s buttocks…around to the flat of her belly…back up to her breasts.

  “Please God, give me the strength to do what needs to be done…” Catherine was praying, yet not wanting anything to extinguish the fire that burned within her. Part of her wanted to prove that she could resist anything, that she was more powerful than this temptation. But part of her wanted to be overcome, to give in…to give herself up to…

  Bella remained behind her and her hands moved lightly, touching, yet not quite touching Catherine’s body, and momentarily disappeared. Catherine opened her eyes. Her body was rigid with both fear and desire. She was about to step away, to try to regain command of her own senses, when Bella’s hands were on her again, crossing around the front of her and sliding down her hipbones to the tops of her thighs.

  Catherine stiffened and the breath that she had been holding in escaped her lungs in spite of her attempt to hold it in. Then Bella’s naked body was against her…breasts pressing into her back…lips kissing the area just below Catherine’s neck and between her shoulders. Bella’s hands, those soft, velvety hands, the feathery touch of fingers were sliding back up past the tops of her thighs and back to belly…then down, down into the curl of black hair.

  With a long, low groan, Catherine gave up her fight. Every muscle melted back into Bella and surrendered. Bella turned Catherine toward her. Hungrily, desperately, Catherine felt herself pulled against Bella and she pressed her lips to Bella’s. No longer the tentative, unsure kisses of the meadow, these were the kisses of a passion held and awaiting release for what seemed like forever. Catherine’s hands moved through Bella’s long hair as she kissed and kissed her mouth, her face, her eyes, back to her mouth.

  Bella guided Catherine backwards toward the bed and lay her down. Catherine pulled Bella on top of her. They were bathed in moonlight, and Catherine marveled at sight and feel of Bella’s body. When Bella’s mouth and tongue found Catherine’s neck and then her nipples Catherine gasped and moaned with pleasure. Catherine found her body responding without even having to think. The feelings were new, but her sense was of having been waiting for them to be found, as if they lay buried just under the surface and only needed Bella to brush away the sand to reveal them. Breasts against breasts. Mouth against mouth. Legs intertwined. Hips pulsing, thighs rubbing against moist, unfolding, blooming lips.

  Bella pushed herself up to her knees and her lips and tongue made their way down Catherine’s body, tasting every sweet bit of flesh. She pushed Catherine’s legs apart and her mouth found the tender skin inside her thighs. Bella lowered herself and buried her head in the soft fur between Catherine’s legs. She inhaled deeply, and reached the fingertips of both hands to separate the outer flesh of Catherine’s swelling folds. A perfect rosebud greeted her and she covered it with kisses. Catherine reached down and held Bella’s head and as she groaned and lifted her hips.

  Long after the moonlight slid off the queen’s bed and both Catherine and Bella had sated themselves several times over, the lovers fell asleep locked within each other’s embrace.

  Chapter Nine

  Catherine woke with the sun fell full upon her face. Bella’s arm and leg were draped over her body, her breath soft and warm against her cheek. Gently, so as not to waken Bella, Catherine turned her body and rested her head in the crook of her own arm to watch Bella sleep. The memories of the night took hold of her. She had not known that her body was capable of such pleasure. She had not known that such pleasure even existed. She had not known that you could give yourself over and over and not lose, but gain yourself in the process. She watched Bella’s eyelids flutter in dreams, and she wondered at how much her life had changed since she and Robert found her in the woods.

  As Catherine remembered that day, her finger reached up and lightly, lovingly, caressed the scar on Bella’s chin. Bella’s eyes opened and Catherine looked into them.

  “What are you thinking?” Bella asked sleepily.

  “I am remembering finding you.”

  “Do you regret that day?”

  Catherine’s finger moved from Bella’s scar to push a strand of hair off Bella’s cheek. “How can you think that I would regret finding you?”

  “Because I am afraid that you regret last night…”

  “I have been lying here, watching you sleep for some time. I admit that I have tried to regret. I tried to imagine myself denying you. I have tried to tell myself that this must never happen again.”

  Bella’s look was one of pain and mild panic. But Catherine continued with a smile.

  “What I feel for you is more powerful than anything I have known. I know now that I could no more deny my love for you than I could deny my own existence. I am yours, plain and simple, and there is apparently nothing I can do about that, for God knows I have tried. I cannot fight my feelings for you. Trying to resist what I feel is like trying to stop my own breath. I cannot live without you. I will not live without you. If that damns me, then I am damned.”

  Bella’s face relaxed into a smile. “When you fell asleep in my arms last night, I lay here wondering how you might torture yourself this morning. I worried that you might be so angry and full of regret that you might banish me from your sight. I was prepared for anything, but I knew that I did not regret a single kiss. I believe with my whole being that God brought you to me. I would be dead if not for you, but instead I am more alive than ever. If we are damned, we are damned together.”

  Catherine propped herself on her elbow and lowered her lips to Bella’s. They made love in the full light of the sun. When they were done, Catherine pulled Bella on top of her and they lay quietly for some time.

  “I love you, Bella. I think I have been falling in love with you from the first moment I looked into your eyes.”

  “I don’t think it was my eyes you looked into, but my very soul. I am yours to love, my queen. I will love you with my dying breath…and, if possible, even after the breath is gone from me.”

  With a sense of overwhelming gratitude filling her entire being, Catherine enfolded Bella in her arms and they lay entwined, listening to the sound of each other’s breath, happy just to be together.

  Chapter Ten

  Over the next several days Catherine feigned illness to her servants. She and Isabella did not leave the quarters. Meals were brought to th
em, but interruptions were for urgent royal matters only, and only to be delivered by the Captain of the Guard.

  A few times, at the edge of her awareness, Catherine felt her doubt creep in. Was God angry? Would she be punished for giving in to her feelings for Bella? Each time she pushed the thoughts aside.

  She did call for Robert at midday on the second day of her self-imposed confinement, anxious to know if his wife delivered safely.

  His beaming face told her before he uttered a word, “Majesty, I am a father. He is the most beautiful son in the land. I could not be happier.”

  “I am glad, Robert. He is fortunate to be blessed with you as a father,” she said as she took both of Robert’s hands in congratulations and kissed him on both cheeks.

  “And how is Petra after her ordeal?” asked the queen.

  “Healing well and quickly,” replied Robert. “She comes from sturdy stock.”

  Bella was sitting nearby and rose. “Congratulations, Robert.”

  As he thanked her, he made a small bow to her, a gesture of respect not lost on her or Catherine. He turned to Catherine and said with a small smile, “It is good to see you both looking so well.”

  Catherine took Robert’s arm and escorted him to the door. “Robert, what’s being said about my absence from the affairs of state?”

  “Rumors are rife.” He paused. “And creative. Some are concerned for your health. Others wonder that Lady Isabella remains here with you. It’s the Bishop, I fear, who encourages the later speculation.”

  “My inclination is to resume my normal duties tomorrow. Please have my secretary arrange meetings in order of priority according to his discretion. I should like to meet with the nobles following the noon meal.”

  “Will you join them for the meal as usual, Your Highness?” He smiled slyly and raised his eyebrows as he asked.

  “I think not,” she returned his smile. “But I would, if possible, like to be privy to their conversation.”

  “I understand,” Robert could not hide his amusement.