by Tara Brown
“Sure, thanks.” I smiled, looking him right in the eye, which I never did anymore, as he left my room.
Chapter 5
Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match
My sister drove like a crazed woman, making all the pickup stops along the way. Blake and I sat squished in the back with a guy named Tommy who had dated my sister and flirted mercilessly with anything that moved. Except me.
“Hey, Aimee, looking good. You clean up nice,” he spoke in a soothing tone, as if trying to charm or tame me. I wasn’t sure which.
“Yeah, I don’t really see how a tee shirt is cleaned up, but thanks, Tommy.” I scoffed.
Blake muffled a laugh.
“McGinnis, dude, you’re way too big for the backseat. You should have tried out for basketball. What are you, six-one?” he asked Blake, trying to make conversation.
Blake smiled. “Uhm. Six-four. But I am not the sporting sort. That is best left for the coordinated.” He frowned at me, which meant he didn’t want to be in this car full of the popular kids. They always asked him to join sports, based on his height and his parents being ridiculously rich. Team funding was a huge issue in small towns.
“What?” I laughed at his grumpy face.
“Don’t what me.” He whispered, “You do look nice though. Pink is an improvement to black.”
“Aren’t we supposed to have a party? Spring Aimee is back.” I stuck my tongue out, almost feeling awkward about having a good time.
We pulled into a long driveway that led to Shane Bagley’s house. His dad and mom had recently split, causing a rift in our small town. Shane’s father had been caught having relations, so to speak, with a checkout girl at the local grocery store. The store Shane’s family owned. Shane’s mom had kicked his dad out, only to find out he’d moved in with his twenty-five-year-old employee.
Shane had taken it hard, just as any of us would. Seventeen is too young to have a family torn apart by a new stepmom. In particular, one that’s only seven years older.
Alise had been sucked into the drama, her specialty. She had gone from nearly dumping Shane to a newly devoted woman, on the surface. She loved drama. It made me sick. As Shane went from being Plain Shane to heartbroken Shane, she got more into him. Although she never stopped cheating on him.
I didn’t understand why he chose to date my sister. He never seemed to enjoy the relationship. He hardly ever hung out with her, and when he did, they barely spoke. Alise had complained about it and our dad told her Shane was distracted by the tragedy in his family.
Shane’s mom had been vacationing more than normal in the last few months. In such a small town, it had people speculating she was actually in a center somewhere. I felt bad for Shane.
His only saving grace was having an older sister at college in the city. She came back on weekends, even though it was a five-hour drive, to help him out while his parents were both AWOL.
The music from the house could be heard during the long drive up. The large waterfront home seemed to have every light on inside and out, even though it wasn’t dark yet.
Cars lined the driveway as Alise found a spot up beside Shane’s truck. People bailed from her old car, boys picking girls up and running with them over their shoulders, and girls screaming in joy. Someone even climbed out of the trunk.
The music stopped as Shane came out to greet us. Behind him the open door revealed a packed house. The huge windows in the living room were like peeking onto a set of a teenager party movie.
He was breathtaking just standing there. His eyes zeroed in on me. “Hey, Aimee, I’m glad you came. Hi, Blake.”
I wanted to take it the wrong way, but I knew why he wanted me there. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Blake move to stand closer to me and puff up his chest. I blushed, thinking he must have picked up on my crush on Shane and resented it.
“Hey.” I gave Shane a small wave and tiny smile. Mostly I tried not to stare at his lips and imagine what they would be like to kiss. My sister walked up and kissed him on the cheek, making me want to disinfect him so I could continue my fantasy. Now that Satan had spit on him, as if he was the last donut on the plate, my only option became viewing him from a distance.
“Well, our first party,” Blake whispered as we leaned against the car and watched the scene, taking it in. After my sister’s little indiscretion of not coming home a month ago, our father had laid down the rule of no more parties. He had given her one option: to take me as her companion which translated into chaperone. He had bet I would never go, and clearly he had bet wrong. Deep down he wanted to see me out socializing with someone beyond Blake, and he knew Alise could get me out of the house, eventually.
“This is weird.” I turned to Blake and forced myself to find a feature I thought was handsome. I realized he didn’t have his glasses on, which was odd. I wasn’t sure if he even owned contacts or if he had come blind, hoping to appear less like a nerd. Either way, he looked good without glasses or a gadget in his hands.
“Yeah. Super weird.” He bit his lip and stared at the house most likely trying to get the nerve to go in.
“We gonna stay out here all night?”
“You want to go in?” Blake swallowed hard and walked up to the house, not waiting for my answer. He seemed massive with nothing in his hands to make him stoop over until he was my height. He seemed put together in his beige cords and blue tee shirt with a science-camp logo.
I smiled. No one there would even come close to recognizing the logo. I was short next to him as we walked along the concrete slab walkway to the front door.
“You cold?” he asked as a warm wind hit, making me shiver.
“No.” I wondered if the wind was my mom telling me not to go in. Her wind came a second time and I told myself she meant for me to have a good time.
As we crossed the threshold, I glanced to the right, pausing when I saw a guy I had never seen around town. He was tall and thick with dark-blond hair and the most stunning blue eyes imaginable. They looked like a husky dog’s. White blue but bright as if there was a light shining out from behind them. Momentarily, I wondered if he was an actor in a movie, not a guy at a teenager party. His face was something you didn’t see in such a small town. I sucked my breath in, gasping as I locked eyes with him. I wanted to walk to him, like I knew him from somewhere.
Our eyes met and he seemed genuinely surprised when I pointed to him. “Who’s that guy?” I nudged Blake. But when I turned back, he was gone.
Blake shrugged. “I didn’t see him.”
“There was just a big, tall blond guy right there a second ago. I think I know him.”
“He’s not there now.”
“Thanks, Captain Obvious.”
A girl beside me spoke, “This place is packed with kids from Port Handley. They’re friends with Shane.”
“Oh.” I recognized her when I turned around.
My sister’s BFF, Giselle.
She was easily the most beautiful girl in the world. Her parents were French and Filipino and the combination was perfect. Every feature, apart from her empty head, was flawless.
She staggered as she entered the house, not looking sexy as much as she looked drunk.
“Clearly, not her first drink of the evening,” Blake muttered as we walked into the house.
“No, I’d say not.” I stared out the window again, hoping to see the guy from the neighboring town. He was stunningly handsome. Adding an air of mystery didn’t help my curiosity.
Shaking it off, I glanced around the house at the drunken teenagers everywhere.
“Want a drink, little sister?” Alise was beside me with a glass.
I took it, suspicious of anything she ever gave me. I looked into the glass. It appeared to be lemonade.
“It’s lemonade, Aimee. Remember the deal we made?” She laughed as I eyeballed her. “Besides, I might need you to drive home.”
“I don’t want to drive.”
“Don’t care.” She walked away.
> “Thanks, Alise.” Blake beamed after her.
“Don’t thank her, there might be poison in this glass.” I frowned at him and watched as he peered into the glass she had given him and took a drink. I waited a few seconds for the foam to start pouring out of his lips.
“Tastes good.” He sipped from the glass and remained standing.
I drank when I was sure I would live. I was surprised by the flavor. It was a great glass of lemonade. I was shocked Alise was holding up her end of the bargain, shocked and suspicious.
“It’s loud in here. Want to go to a quieter room?” I asked Blake who nodded.
People saw us and did a second take when it registered that nerds had crashed the party. They maintained a steady glare in our direction as they conversed.
“Not in the least bit obvious, are they?” Blake asked, sipping his drink and scanning the room. His grumpy face was back. I wondered if deep down he had hoped to be accepted by them. I had never seen Blake care about what the popular kids thought or did until that moment.
“We’re outsiders. We might give them the same look if they showed up to a science fair.”
“True.” He didn’t sound convinced.
We walked past the kitchen where Shane stood in a group of the popular kids. He glanced over at me and nodded.
I wanted to talk to him, but Alise put a hand on his arm and laughed with the group of football players and girls that all resembled my sister. Shane dropped his gaze, blushing as they continued to talk.
Seeing the us and them even more, I glanced up at Blake and decided it was time to start making some of my dreams come true. If I really thought about it, Blake was the answer to the question of who would make me happy. We were the same in every way. We could play World of Warcraft in a room and not even need to speak, for days. There was a cozy comfort between us I would never find in anyone else. If there was that, why couldn’t there also be intimacy?
We found a sunroom off the back of the house, with couches and a few couples making out in the muted light. The lights were dim and the music seemed a lot quieter. To me, it would be the perfect place to pass a few hours until we got to go home.
I sat on the older floral couch and admired the pictures of Shane and his sister that lined the walls of the sunroom and above the large fireplace. Only on the Northwest Coast would there be a woodstove in a sunroom.
Blake sat down beside me. Obviously, he was still uncomfortable. I decided to go with the flow of the room and take my sister’s advice.
I turned to look him in the eyes and took a deep breath. “Blake, I’ve been thinking a lot. It’s senior year and I think I’m ready for a relationship. I think it’ll sort of fill the void in me from my mom and everything.” Where was I going with this? I panicked a bit. “And I think”—it shot from my lips like a bullet from a gun—“I like you.”
He acted confused. “I like you too, Aimes. You’re my best friend, pink shirt or no pink shirt. At least it isn’t black or one of the variations. I’ve never seen anyone find as many different ways to depress their wardrobe as you have.”
“No.” I started to feel a little breathless. “I mean, I think I really like you, like how they like each other.” I pointed to the couples making out that were clearly fond of one another. I took another deep breath. “I’ve thought about this long and hard, and we make sense for each other. We’re both smart, we both want to go to college, and we both love intellectually challenging and advancing experiences. If we sit down I believe we can come up with a reasonable five-year plan.” My spiel didn’t sound as good as I had hoped it would.
“Five-year plan?” He frowned at first. “Like them—you like me like them?” He pointed and seemed to grow panicked, if not flabbergasted. “Like them?”
“Yeah.” I gulped as he peered around at each couple and then back to me.
“Aimee, you are the most incredible girl I have ever met. You’re my favorite person in the whole world. You are graduating AP in literature, but at the same time, still rocking AP in trig and chemistry. You’re funny and really pretty—” He started to fret.
“But?” I interrupted. My heart dropped into my stomach.
Embarrassment flushed across his face as he grasped at straws. “I think the world of you. You must know that.”
“I do.” I crossed my arms. “Look, I told you how I feel—just say what you need to say.” I got angry as he flailed in front of me. My stomach weakened, waiting for the final crushing blow.
“Okay.” He closed his eyes. “I wish you had never said those words. I need you in my life, the way things are. I don’t feel the same way. You are the sister I always wanted. I love you but not the same.”
It hurt more than I thought it would. I had counted on him liking me to feel like a normal girl. He had always been my back-up plan for love. I’d assumed that as long as he liked me, it didn’t matter that all the other boys didn’t.
I didn’t need the approval of boys, but at the same time I had wanted Blake to like me. “I need some air. I’ll be back.” I jumped up.
“Wait!” He put his hand out to stop me, but I burst past him, leaving him in the make-out room alone.
I didn’t hate him—I couldn’t hate him. I hated myself for banking on him being the one I could fall back on in my time of desperation and loneliness. I was frustrated and embarrassed to have been so certain. Had he led me to believe it? Was he partly to blame? I thought of the million times he had touched my hand or smiled at me. The way he kept his gaze after he smiled, lingering. He came to my house every day. I recalled when my mom died and how he had slept in my bed with me for two weeks, holding me. Had I misread it all?
Tears threatened to spring from my eyes, but I surveyed the ridiculous group of drunken people and knew I would never cry in front of them.
Instead, I rushed through the back door in the kitchen and let the refreshing wind hit me, like a beacon of safety. I ran down the steps of the deck and onto the back lawn.
Shane had a massive yard with a small amount being oceanfront. Really though, the whole town had either oceanfront or ocean view.
Defeated and dejected, I walked to the far side of the lawn where I sat down on the cool grass, lying back to peer up at the sky as it darkened and the first few stars became visible.
I loved stars. I loved how far away they were.
My sister had chosen a car for our birthday, but I had opted for a telescope. I wished I were at home with it instead of here lonely, embarrassed, and surrounded by people who would mock me as an appetizer. My face burned, thinking how foolish I was to assume I had a chance with Blake or any guy.
My sister could have any guy she wanted. She even had the one guy I truly wanted. But I couldn’t even get the guy no one wanted. Well, besides the other nerdy girls at our lunch table. Blake was the nerd hottie. I had sort of told myself I was the nerd hottie too. I wasn’t hideous.
I covered my face and wished I could take it all back.
Being a rational romantic hadn’t panned out like I’d hoped it would. Maybe being a twit like my sister paid off. She did seem happier than I ever was, by a long shot. I contemplated playing dumb and twirling my hair and picked up a lock of my blonde mane, twirling the thick chunk over my face. It did seem relaxing in a repetitive way but definitely couldn’t replace thinking, no matter what.
Chapter 6
Et tu, Aimee
The grass beside me crunched and I assumed it would be Blake, coming to try to rationalize with me. I prepared for the most embarrassing conversation ever. Knowing I would probably cry, I decided standing and running would be my best bet.
But I panicked even more when I recognized Shane’s voice behind me. “You okay, Aimee? I saw you run out the back door. I thought maybe you were sick.” He sat on the grass next to me and lay back. I clenched inside and tried not to breathe. I contemplated the hair twirl but decided on playing it cool.
“Yeah, no. I’m just not much of a partier.”
�
�I’m glad you came though. I was hoping you would come to at least one party before grad.”
“Remember when we were little and how easy life was?” I changed the subject, not sure about the topic though.
“Oh my God.” He rolled on his side and grinned at me. “Yeah. It was so much easier to just be happy then. All that mattered was how many frogs you caught or how high you could climb. All the girls liked you if you could run the fastest.”
“You could just be who you were and no one cared.”
“I’ve always liked who you were. Well, are. I mean, I like who you are now too.” He rested back on the grass again, still chuckling.
“Uhhh.” I laughed. “Thanks. I like who you are too.” Uncomfortable with the direction it was going, I changed the subject, “So, who is that guy from Handley with the crazy blue eyes? They’re like those eyes the arctic huskies have.”
“Blue eyes?”
“Yeah, like white blue.”
“Oh, you mean Wade. His family owns the gym in Handley. He plays hockey and goes out with Melissa Grouper.” He tried to jog my memory, but I came up blank.
“His eyes are crazy blue—weird blue. I swear I know him from somewhere,” I muttered more to myself than him.
“Hmm, maybe from school. Speaking of guys, what’s up with you and Blake?” He gave me a look.
“Nothing—nothing now and nothing ever. Apparently, we’re friends who can sleep beside each other and be each other’s comfort, but I guess that’s it. I’m destined to be alone forever.” The words fell out in a bitter rant before I could stop myself.
Shane laughed. “Okay, okay, jeeze. You and your sister have that in common, I guess. There is more spice in you two than sugar.”
“What?” I frowned at the comparison. “That might be the only thing we have in common, unfortunately.” Besides liking you. I could have told him that, but I didn’t want to be the reason my sister’s eternal happiness was destroyed. Her eternal happiness that only ever lasted the afternoon.