The Roses Academy- the Entire Collection

by Tara Brown

  “Aimee?”

  I spin, startled by the voice echoing in the dark corner, and find Oliver. He’s even more beautiful in Heaven than he was in the real world. “Hey!” How did he find me in this vast place?

  “I thought I felt something shift. So you’re turning on each other already?” He cocks an eyebrow. “Who killed you?”

  “I’m not dead.”

  “How are you—”

  “Lorelei, the witch. She made it so I can see the dead and they can see me. Some spell that makes it so I can sort of travel here, but not really be here. She called it dream walking.”

  “But you are here.” Oliver looks around. “She must be some witch. I’ve never heard of that happening before—”

  “Is Dorian here?” I cut him off again, wanting to find him before I have to go back.

  “Let me try to feel him.” He points. “He’s that way.” He holds a large hand out to me. “Take my hand. I can get you there faster. We can travel by thought. Almost like winking.”

  The moment our skin touches we move like a wink. Suddenly, I am standing in a garden filled with light and flowers that I can’t smell. The smell is the same as the shadows. The air is filled with the tranquil aroma of whatever is forcing me to believe I am completely at ease.

  But it isn’t only the flowers or the garden or the beauty I care about.

  I see his back. I know it’s his. I would know it anywhere. He’s talking with his hands and shaking his head. A man sits on a stone bench, being entertained by Dorian. The man is old and grins from ear to ear, nodding his head as though he completely understands what Dorian is talking about.

  “Dorian!” Oliver calls to him. His voice echoes again. It is the weirdest feeling and sound. Almost like we aren’t supposed to make noises in the silence.

  His back straightens. As he spins he loses the smile on his face. The light behind him makes him hard to see. I squint, trying to get a clearer view. He shines as if he has become the sun and is blinding me on purpose.

  “Aimes?” His accent brings a smile to my lips. “Olly, are you taking the piss, mate? If this is your idea of a joke, I’m probably going to react fairly badly.”

  Oliver holds his hands up, releasing me. “I found her in a hallway, not a joke.” Suddenly, he’s gone, as is the man behind Dorian on the bench. Maybe they’re no longer part of our reality, or they’ve fled.

  We are alone.

  Like we have been so many times.

  But something is different this time.

  My stomach aches and I don't believe what is in front of me, regardless of seeing it. His obsidian eyes meet mine and I wonder, only for a moment, if he’s indeed real or if I am dreaming, and not here at all. I lift my fingers to my arm again, pinching hard.

  He comes closer, but not too close.

  He swallows whatever it is he was about to say. I recognize the expression he makes when he does it. The desperation in his face makes the ache in my stomach so much worse. “Are you dead?” He finally says the thing I assume he was swallowing.

  I shake my head slowly, unable to speak. Tears sit in my throat, blocking all air and words.

  He sighs. “Thank God.” He walks to me and I forget why I am here. He is so beautiful. I don't even think he’s trying to be. He stares down at me, and I see every single image he once gave me, flash in his black eyes. “How are you here?”

  “Lorelei.”

  “Of course. She is a powerful witch.” He swallows hard again like he’s uncomfortable. “You’re well then?”

  “Sort of.” The question brings a smile to my lips. It’s an awkward sentence because the truth lingers in the air between us. I know his secret. I know he loves me.

  “Are you looking for Lorri?” he asks, not letting his eyes leave mine. “I can find her for you.”

  “No,” I mutter breathlessly, slowly lifting my fingers to the locket and opening it to reveal the white feather.

  He swallows hard again. “You kept it?”

  He doesn't know that?

  How does he not know I kept it?

  “You didn't watch me take it?” I was so certain he had watched over me these past two years.

  “No.” He sounds disappointed. “It doesn't really work like that here.”

  I hate that he hasn't seen me. He hasn't been watching over me like before, like I assumed he would be. But the floor of Heaven is also not glass the way I had anticipated it would be.

  “You kept the feather though.” His eyes shine like stars reside in there with every memory of me. “Why?”

  It’s now or never but the words are stuck in my throat, lodged in there. I lift my hand to his cheek, running it down his face.

  “What are you doing?” he asks in disbelief.

  “Dorian,” I whisper like I have a thousand times since he died and grab his face, pulling his lips down on mine. I close my eyes and press myself against him. And for the first time ever, I melt into the kiss, melt into him, and melt in my heart. The tears I have desperately tried to keep at bay slip down my cheeks.

  He kisses me back but he’s frozen and rigid, and I can’t help but wonder if he isn’t real at all. If this is a horrid dream and I am caught up, seeing everything as real.

  But then he springs to life. His arms encircle me, crushing me with realness and desperate passion. His trembling fingers press into my back as he wraps around me. The kiss never goes beyond our lips; it doesn't have to. He freezes, gripping me and still hovering over my mouth. “This isn’t real. You aren’t really here,” he whispers into my lips with his hot breath. “You would never kiss me like this.”

  I nod against him. “I am real.”

  The whole world, Heaven and Earth, is gone. It is just us two, spinning in one spot in the clouds. I swear there isn’t a single thing in the world beyond us. My heart pounds against his chest, desperate to give itself to him.

  “I can feel your heart.” He pulls back, glossy eyed and confused. I can see it all over him, confusion and desperation.

  “I’m real.”

  I don't want him to back away too far. I don't want to stop being part of the air he breathes and the world he is in. I understand for the first time ever what love feels like. I see it in his eyes, in his love and his heartache. He comes closer again, reaching for me and running his thumb down my cheek. “I don't understand, love. I don't get why you are here and why you are kissing me.”

  “Because you showed me everything. You bared your soul.”

  He winces. “You saw it all? How?”

  “The feather. Momma Holt gave me your memories with it.”

  “Bloody hell. How many memories are we talking about?”

  “All of them. From all the lives we’ve had.”

  “Oh wow.” He pauses, apparently winded a bit by the information. “That feather was just for you to know I loved you. Not for you to see every moment. Now I look like a bloody stalker, don't I?” His shitty tone makes me smile wide, still sniffling back tears, but smiling joyfully.

  “You are a stalker.”

  His cheeks flush as he glances at me through his thick lashes. My world is complete. The beautiful boy in front of me has made every moment worth living. “But the stalking got you here, didn't it then?” His cheekiness is back and I realize how much I’ve missed it.

  “Whatever.”

  He kisses me again, so softly it barely touches me, but I am burned by the heat of his lips against mine. He hovers in the kiss, savoring it. “I love you, Aimee. I have always loved you.”

  “I had no idea how you felt until I saw it all.”

  His lips tremble again as the humor tries to mask the pain his cracking voice reveals. “I want to take it all back. I want to try again and do the right thing this time. If I had one wish in the whole world, it would be to start over.”

  Tears fill my eyes once more. “Why can’t you just come back?” My heart aches and burns like a wildfire scorches me from the inside out.

  “The only reason
I made it here was because I died to save you. It cleansed me of my misdeeds, so to speak.” He chuckles bitterly. “I would have died every day for a thousand years to keep you alive. I did the one thing I think I was put on Earth to do.”

  “No!” The floodgates open. Not because of his romantic confession but because I am angry. “You made it so I died a thousand times instead of you. I have been miserable down there. I can’t function knowing you’re here and I’m there and the whole world is between us and we haven’t even had a chance. You gave me that feather and left me down there to wallow in it.”

  “I had no choice.” His expression hardens in the way only Dorian truly does properly. “One of us had to die. My dying wish was that you would know I loved you with every fiber of my being. I wanted you to know so you didn't hate me anymore.”

  His words make it all worse. I step back, causing the air to rush between us. “I never hated you.”

  “You did. You had every reason to. I made sure of that.”

  “I didn't. I didn't hate you. I never knew why you were so horrid to me. Why you tried so hard to make me hate you. If you had just given me a chance to know you, I would have loved you like I do now.”

  He stops, looking like I’ve hit him with a shovel. “You-you love me?” He scratches his head, running his hands through his dark hair.

  “I do. I sit down there and love you, completely alone.” It brings a terrible sound from my lips, a broken laugh. “It’s funny, everything you did to me to make me hate you was nothing in comparison to this. Making me love you on your deathbed is by far your cruelest act.”

  “Don't say that.” His warning tone is exactly as I recall.

  “Why? It's the truth. You gave me this feather and broke my heart.”

  His dark eyes narrow. “Yeah, well you bloody well broke my heart first. You didn't see how hard I tried to make you despise me? You should have seen through that. You’re a smart girl, Aimee James. You should have seen through all my shit. What about when I sacrificed myself for you? You think I sacrifice for everyone? Why do you think I made you a monster like me? I made it so you were the only thing that could ever kill me. Because if I had to die, I wanted it to be at your hand.”

  “WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST LOVE ME AND STAY?”

  He steps into me, crushing my mouth with his and sweeping me into his arms. And that is the moment everything else fades away and nothing else matters. He does love me. Even if he is dead. The kiss is more than we have ever shared. His tongue slides against mine, invading me. He lifts me into him, kissing harder, prying me open and exposing my heart’s truest desires and the beautiful mess he has made of it.

  He mumbles into my lips, “You are all I ever needed. Simply to look at you was everything. I didn't need anything else.”

  “I need you now.” I hate needing anything. I hate that I need him more than any single thing in the world.

  “My heart is there, Aimee. I swear.” He pulls my face back, looking down on me with such intensity I swear I can almost read his mind. “I will find a way back to you.”

  It doesn't fade out like a dream. I don't slowly become mist and his words don't echo. Nothing changes except the fact I am suddenly heaving in a ball on my bed.

  I am wide awake and dying inside with blissful anguish.

  We never got to say goodbye or touch one last time. I can smell him and taste him, but it’s fleeting. I look at my hand and realize the feather is gone. I had it when I was holding his hand. It must have slipped from my fingers. I get up quickly, sobbing, and search the bed. I tear each blanket in a frenzy, but there is no feather. The locket is still open, and empty. I rip it off and toss it across the room.

  All the feelings linger. They are phantoms but I swear they’re real.

  His kisses are on my lips, tingling.

  His hands are on me, gripping with painful panic.

  His fierceness is in his eyes, burning down on me.

  Until it’s all gone.

  I feel the moment I lose him.

  I can sense it, the exact second the blanket of Lillith’s spell slips over me, tucking me into my angelic slumber.

  The magic has hold of me because Dorian no longer does. His feather was my anchor and without it I am lost, floating in a sea of indifference.

  I awaken when Blake flops onto my bed. I don't know why he’s here or what he wants, but I’m tired like I have never been, so I moan and roll over, “Go away!”

  “Aimes, you’ve been sleeping for days. Come on. Lorelei said the spell should have worn off by now. Did you see Dorian and Lorri? Did you talk to them and ask for help?” His words are annoying.

  I shake my head, swatting at him. “I’m tired.”

  He’s gone and back so fast I hardly noticed he’d left at all. A cool hand slips across my cheek, turning my head to face the person touching me. I groan when I see Lorelei. “What happened?”

  I shrug, pushing her off me. “With what?”

  “Seeing Dorian.”

  The name makes sparks in my chest, but I don't recall seeing him. “When?”

  “Four nights ago. I put a spell on you to send you to him.”

  I shake my head. “I don't know.”

  “Oh shit.” She grabs my head, sending pulsating shocks through my brain. I try to push her off but she forces me still, with magic. She pulls back, her face twisted in some emotion. “Oh God, I’m so sorry, Aimee.” She glances at Blake. “She left the feather behind by accident.”

  He presses his eyes shut. “Well, that's goddamned perfect.” He must be raging mad because Blake never swears much.

  Lorelei holds her hand against my arm, instantly burning a hole in my heart as memories and visions flood my head. “Oh God,” I cry out, rocking slightly. “What are you doing?” Tears stream my cheeks.

  Dorian!

  His face pressed against mine and the severity of his grip haunts me.

  She pulls her hand away. “We have to remind you every few hours.”

  I glance around. “What happened?”

  “You left your feather in Heaven. You lost the thing that grounded you here in your emotional body.”

  “I saw Dorian.”

  Lorelei adds, “And you failed to talk about anything important.”

  “Oh uhhh”—I lick my lips—“we got cut off. It ended abruptly.”

  She drums her fingers on her legs. “We can still get the kids to the Garden of Eden if we leave today.”

  I scowl. “What did I miss?”

  Blake’s nervous glances about are exactly the reason I know something not good has occurred while I was being a meat sack in here.

  Lorelei’s voice is pained, “We had an incident.”

  I wait impatiently until she finally blurts it out, “Sam’s gone.”

  My skin prickles and crawls. “Gone? Like dead?”

  She shakes her head. “Gone, like he’s left us and is acting like a psycho. He’s been killing hordes of people, telling us he’s freeing them.”

  I point. “I had that sensation, like I was releasing them. When we were all being douche canoes and detached. Lillith’s spell must be one that makes us free the innocents. I mistook it as God’s will.”

  Lorelei sighs and glances at Blake. He shakes his head. “I never had it.”

  “You had Alise from the start though. She’s here and real. You probably didn't even notice the pull to kill.”

  He shrugs. “Not sure, Aimes. I just know I didn't have it. I wanted to kill the bad guys, not the good ones.”

  “I wanted to kill everyone.”

  Lorelei’s eyes widen. “Lillith’s insane. Why would she do this?”

  Blake cocks an eyebrow. “The assault on her made her pretty crazy, like they will.”

  “Well, I wish she could find a little inner peace.” She sighs.

  I suffer the detachment as if it has just happened and then the burst of memories of Dorian. He touched me and kissed me and told me he would find me. I have to believe that is still
a possible fate we have mapped out in an agreement with our hearts and souls.

  Lorelei is talking and Blake is arguing, and I am stuck on the kisses I don't want to let go of. I don't want to move past it. I feel it all fading. I will need to be jolted back to the girl who remembers everything, and soon. I need to be freed from the fog.

  It dawns on me then. I need to kill Lillith.

  I need to kill her and end her magic so I stand a chance at properly remembering the feeling of his mouth on mine. I got my wish; I melted into his kiss and his embrace, and I finally told him I loved him.

  And that bitch thinks she can take that from me.

  Not likely.

  I’m up and pulling on my jeans and boots when I notice they’ve stopped talking. I turn to see Blake smiling.

  “What was that?”

  I scowl. “What?”

  “Aimee James is back.”

  Lorelei laughs. “You got sassy, real fast. You jumped up and started pulling clothes on and growled a little.”

  I shrug. “She’s trying to steal my memories and my freewill. Screw her. She doesn't get the only true kisses I’ve ever shared with someone. With Dorian there is no influence of angel magic. Just love. Lillith can’t have that.” The words are mumbled as if forced from my lips.

  Blake taunts, “’Bout time you got into this.” We flash from the room to the living room, dragging Lorelei with us.

  Shane gives me a once-over. “What’s with the leathers and boots? You feeling like kicking some ass, Aimes?”

  “Yup.” I give Lorelei a look. “Every fifteen minutes, you blast me with that shit.”

  She nods.

  The pain and agony of it all will keep my pissed-off, bitchy side fresh and rejuvenated.

  “Lillith wants to play dirty? Fine. We meet her on the battlefield and show her how dirty we like it.”

  Giselle chuckles, clearly going to a perverted place with the statement.

  Chapter 6

  The bitch is back

  My heels click along the cold and broken cement as I climb the stairs to the courthouse in New York City. My nose never lies and it is certain we need to go this way. Shane and Giselle have my flanks with Blake and Lorelei behind them. Lorelei’s friend Gwen and her partner bring up the back. I don't sneak or wink—I walk as boldly as I can up to the front doors. They’re ripped off and hanging next to the entrance.