Imagines (Imago, Book Two)

by N. R. Walker

  She looked panic stricken. “I didn’t realise he was still so ill. He looks awful. If I’d known… Jack, I’m sorry. This party is probably the last thing he wanted…”

  “He’s okay. Just tired. Well, he’s better than he was, that’s for sure. And this party is perfect, thank you.”

  She frowned. “How did your first holiday together go, apart from the almost dying part? I mean, first holidays away together are a make or break thing…”

  “He wants to move in with me.”

  Remmy bit back a squeal but still had to cover her mouth. “Oh my God,” she said from behind her hand. “I’m so happy for you.”

  “Me too.”

  Then I heard Lawson’s mum say, “Oh, Lawson, honey, seriously, you should have studied medicine and not be out traipsing through the wilderness almost getting yourself killed by bushfires or toxic wildlife.”

  His dad laughed. “If he did study medicine, Hyacinth, he’d be off in some remote part of the globe helping village children in Peru. Or Cambodia. Or Uganda.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s so true. He totally would be.”

  Lawson sipped his tea just as Rosemary padded over to him. She knew better than to approach the dining table, but I couldn’t bring myself to rebuke her. She rested her head on his thigh, as though she somehow knew he wasn’t feeling too great. He stroked her forehead and she closed her eyes, and I found myself smiling at them. Remmy nudged my side and gave me a knowing smirk before she reclaimed her seat at the table. Luca clambered all over her lap and I ate my cake while everyone chatted and talked, told stories and laughed.

  My sisters claimed Lawson for their own, and I could tell by the way they smiled at him that he had totally charmed them. My mum watched on fondly, and with her cup of tea in hand, she stood beside my stool at the kitchen bench. “He’s lovely,” she said.

  “He is.”

  She sighed contentedly. “I’m so glad you found him.”

  “Well, I was watching him when he slid down the embankment. I didn’t exactly have to find him.”

  She rubbed my hand. “No, Jack. I mean, I’m glad you found someone who makes you so happy.”

  “Oh.” I pretended I wasn’t embarrassed. I met her gaze so she could read the seriousness in mine. “He does, Mum. He’s moving in with me.”

  She gave me an eye-crinkling smile. “Well, it’s always good to live with someone, find out all their bad habits before you get married.”

  I choked on my tea, and we caught ourselves a few glances from around the table. I dabbed a serviette to my mouth. “Jeez, Mum.”

  She simply smiled in that knowing way mothers do. “I can see how you are with him, love. The way you look at him, and how he looks at you. And his parents are lovely. Having met them before meeting him, he wasn’t at all what I expected.”

  I chuckled. “He’s not what I expected either.”

  She squeezed my hand. “Hey, Jack,” Poppy called out. “I was just telling Lawson of that time in high school―”

  “Please don’t,” I said, cutting her off. “Whatever story you’re about to tell, I’d rather you just stop right there.”

  April clapped her hands together. “Aww, come on Jackie, it was funny.”

  I sighed. “Please don’t call me that.” It was then I looked at Lawson; he was fighting to keep his eyelids open. Mum saw it the same time I did, then Lawson’s dad did too.

  I put my cup down and was just about to go to him when my mum stopped me. “Okay, well, we better get going,” she said. “We’ve got the drive back to Hobart ahead of us.”

  “Oh yes, we should be going too,” Lawson’s dad said, giving a subtle nod to Lawson. “You boys have had a long day.”

  Remmy agreed, and I walked her, Nico, and Luca to the door. “I’m sorry, Jack,” she said. “I feel so bad. The poor guy!”

  I pulled her in for a hug. “Thank you. And no more apologies. The welcome home party was lovely, and the thanks for not dying part was a nice touch.”

  She gave me a shrug and half a smile. “I thought so too.”

  I waved them off with a laugh and a promise to call into the bakery tomorrow.

  I hugged my mum and dad and sisters and thanked them for making the effort to come visit. “We’ll come to Hobart next time. I promise.”

  Mum hugged me the hardest, and Dad clapped my shoulder. “You need to look after him,” he ordered with a smile. “Poor kid looks beat.”

  “I will.”

  Lawson thanked them for coming, telling them he was very pleased to meet them, but his blinks were getting longer and longer. His parents left the same time as mine did, but they were staying in town and flying back to Melbourne the next afternoon.

  I had no doubt we’d see them again bright and early but didn’t begrudge them for wanting to spend some time with Lawson. “We’ll bring out breakfast,” Darren offered.

  “I’d love that,” I answered. “We haven’t had a chance to grab milk or bread or anything really.”

  So with plans made, they drove off, leaving the house in a silence that felt like a comfy blanket. I took Lawson to bed, undressed him, and tucked him in. It was still too early for me to fall asleep, so I did some tidying up, some laundry, then planted myself on the floor with Rosemary.

  “It’s good to be home, hey, girl?”

  She replied with a tongue-lolling smile and a wag of her tail.

  “You want Lawson to come live with us?”

  She wiggled her butt.

  “You’ll have two daddies, huh? How does that sound?”

  She huffed, and I swear she was smiling.

  “Yeah, sounds pretty good to me too.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Lawson

  I woke up to the smell of food and the sound of voices and laughter. I had no idea what time it was, and I took a moment to assess how I felt. There was an ever present ache in my head, like a band that tightened inside my skull. I was still bone weary, which was absurd because I’d just slept for God knows how long.

  I sat up and put my feet to the floor, giving myself some time to adjust. I reached for my phone to find it was almost eight. Bother. I’d slept for… I couldn’t even remember what time I went to bed.

  I pulled on my trousers, relieved myself in the bathroom, brushed my teeth and washed my face, then went in search of Jack. I found him in the kitchen with my parents, laughing about something to do with stewed fruit. I’m not sure I wanted to know.

  Jack got to his feet as soon as he saw me. “Oh, you’re awake! Want some tea? Your mum and dad brought out some of Remmy’s breakfast specials and some bread and milk, so I can make you some toast?”

  I gave him a smile just before Mum put her hand to my face. “You look so much better.”

  “I feel better,” I admitted. I looked over her shoulder to Jack. “Tea, please.”

  It was lovely to spend some time with my parents, it really was. They were worried about me, as were Paterson and Mackellar. And I think they had a newfound adoration of Jack after he’d carried me out of the rainforest. They liked him before, but now I highly doubted he could ever do wrong in their eyes.

  He doted on me, making sure I had everything I needed. When my parents left, he put me on the couch with snacks, drinks, phone and laptop, books, TV remote, all within reach. Rosemary sat by my side the entire day, the fire well stocked and blazing, while Jack went into town to catch up on a bit of work, call in to see Remmy, and grab some groceries. I only dozed once or twice.

  On the second day, Jack left me in bed, and I spent the day a little more upright and only dozed once. I also notified the real estate agent of my intent to vacate my rental, which was an overwhelmingly wonderful feeling.

  I couldn’t even remember why I ever thought not living with him was a good idea.

  It was unusual, though, being in Jack’s home without him. All his belongings, all his personal effects, his entire life was in this house. It was a curious feeling, being surrounded by h
im but not having him here.

  He did leave work a little early so he could be home with me, though after two weeks off it was hardly feasible. But he was adamant. He was also devoted to my wellbeing, my recuperation, though I couldn’t convince him that I was well enough for sex.

  I was feeling better every hour, and he was attentive to my every need. Except that one.

  By the fourth day, I’d tended to all my emails, I’d spoken to Professor Tillman on the phone, and to Piers, who both assured me all was going well. I’d sat by the Bursaria spinosa we’d planted near the rosemary, in hopes of spotting a Tillman Copper. Not that I expected to, especially in winter when butterflies were more docile, but as a lepidopterist, I hoped. The shrub had taken well, the ants were building a nice nest underneath it… but no butterflies. Yet.

  I decided I’d cook dinner for Jack and settled on lamb souvlaki and couscous salad. I’d also decided I’d had enough of his abstinence, so I was freshly showered, wearing my normal trousers and shirt, but added the bow tie and suspenders. Because, well, because Jack had a thing for suspenders…

  He greeted me with a warm, humming kiss. “Something smells great.”

  “Me or the food?”

  “Both.”

  “It’s almost done.”

  “Good, because I’m starving. How are you feeling?”

  “Better. I didn’t nap at all today.”

  Jack grinned. “Are these”—he trailed his fingers over the suspenders, over my collarbone—“for any reason in particular?”

  My hopes soared, and those elusive butterflies that only existed in his presence flooded my belly. “Is that smile indicative of your willingness and intent to bed me later?”

  He gave me a blank stare. “What?”

  “You won’t touch me. You won’t have sex with me.”

  “Because you’re unwell, Lawson. No other reason.”

  “But I’m not unwell anymore.”

  He put his fingers to my chin and lifted my face so he could stare into my eyes. “My abstinence is not a reflection of anything but your physical wellbeing. You know I love you. You know I love being intimate with you.” His eyes flashed with a spark. “And wearing suspenders is a low blow. You know how much I love taking them off you.”

  I smiled victoriously. “That was the reason I wore them.”

  He kissed me briefly, then put his finger to my lips. “Dinner first, then you can tell me about your day, and then we’ll see if you feel up to it.”

  I never thought I’d be one to feel antsy without sex. Lord knows I’d endured dry spells to rival the Sahara. But I needed him in ways I’d not needed anyone before. Yes, I needed him emotionally, but I also needed him physically as well.

  I was craving him.

  “What is it?” he murmured, cradling my face in his hands.

  “I need to feel connected to you. I thought there were always two different kinds of connections: physical and emotional, but I’ve just realised that when you make love to me, I get both. I need to feel that. I need to feel reconnected and I need you to…”

  He pressed himself against me and he whispered in my ear, “You need me to what?”

  I closed my eyes and spoke the words against his neck. “To make me yours again. I feel disengaged since the accident, detached almost. But when you’re inside me, I feel… centred.”

  He sucked back a breath. “Lawson?” His voice was rough and thick with desire.

  “Yes.”

  “Turn the hotplates off.” I grinned and he bit my bottom lip, gently pulling it between his teeth. “And don’t be so smug about it.”

  I quickly shut dinner off, and when I turned around, Jack held his hand out. Without a word, he led me to his bedroom, our bedroom, and stopped. He stood right up close and slipped a finger under one of my suspenders and slid it off my shoulder. He licked his lips, his eyes smouldered, and the butterflies in my belly took flight. With just as much dedication, he slid the other suspender from my shoulder and watched it fall to my side. Then he tilted my head back, then ghosted his lips across mine. “I need to use the bathroom. Don’t go anywhere.”

  It took me a second to realise he’d gone. I’m not sure I’d breathed the entire time and my head buzzed. I undressed quickly, leaving my clothes in a pile on the floor, too impatient to fold neatly. I took the lube from the bedside drawer and climbed on the bed, laying on my belly. Without waiting for him to return―I simply couldn’t wait a second longer―I slicked my own fingers and slid them along my arse crack, over my hole, and pushed one fingertip inside myself.

  I heard Jack’s gasp from the bedroom door. “Lawson.” His voice was strained.

  “I can’t wait. I need this, Jack. I need you.”

  I heard the rustle of fabric as he undressed. The zipper undoing sent a thrill through me, and I raised my hips and pushed a second fingertip inside myself.

  “Fuck,” he rasped out.

  I turned my head at the sound and saw him naked, staring at me, stroking himself. “Jack, please.”

  He smirked and knelt on the bed. “Remove your hand,” he ordered gruffly.

  I did, and he took my leg closest to him and manoeuvred me so I was on my back instead. Then, still gripping my ankle, he pulled me closer to him so he was now between my legs. “I need to see your face,” he murmured. “I need to kiss you while I fill you.”

  My cock jerked at his words and he smiled. I wrapped my fingers around my shaft and Jack’s nostrils flared. I let my eyes wander down to the hair on his chest, down to his almost-defined abs, and further down to his proud erection. His cock was fully engorged, the cockhead purple, precome at the tip.

  He slid his huge hands around my thighs and lifted my legs toward my chest, then leaned over me so his lips were almost touching mine. His thick and heavy cock slid along my perineum, teasing. I tried to push onto him, but he held me still. “Jack, I’ve not the patience for teasing right now.”

  “I can tell you’re feeling better,” he said with a smirk. “Because you’re back to being feisty and bossy in bed.” He gripped his cock and pressed against my hole, but didn’t push in. He loved driving me to the brink and never seemed satisfied until I cursed and demanded he do certain things to my body.

  “Jack, I swear, if you don’t fuck me right now.”

  His eyes flashed with triumph. “You’ll what?”

  I reached down between us and slid my fingers past my balls. “I’ll do it myself.”

  Jack gripped my hand and pinned it to the mattress by my head, and in one thrust, he pushed into me.

  He was bigger than I’d remembered.

  “Fuck,” I gasped, blinking and trying to breathe.

  Jack’s eyes smouldered. His voice was gruff, his lips against mine. “Is that what you wanted?”

  I nodded and groaned as he settled himself inside as far as he could go. As far as I could take him. He let go of my hand and gripped my hair instead. He kissed me as he pulled back, almost all the way, then slowly slid back in. Over and over.

  It was everything I needed. Feeling owned by him, claimed and taken. There could be no doubt I was his when he took me like this.

  He broke the kiss, trailing his lips down my jaw to my neck. And he never stopped fucking, reminding me with every thrust that I was his, and he was mine. He increased his tempo, speeding closer and closer to the precipice. “Lawson,” he rasped. “Need you to come.” I shook my head, and he pulled back so he could look into my eyes. “I need you to come first.” He thrust slower now, as if he wanted to stop but couldn’t.

  “Not this time. I just need you to come inside me.”

  He moaned and he closed his eyes, and I could feel him swell deep within me. He put one hand at the top of my head, his other cupped my jaw, and he arched fully with a guttural moan as he came.

  He surged inside me, spilling his seed, and he cried out with a final shudder as his orgasm subsided. He collapsed on top of me but nuzzled into my neck. “My God,” he mumbled. Once his b
reaths had calmed, he kissed that spot below my ear that made me shiver. He kissed up my jaw to my mouth. His eyes were glazed over, sated and happy. “Feel better?”

  I took stock of every inch of my body, my mind, giving a little roll of my spine. “I feel superb.”

  He kissed me with smiling lips. “I can tell. You’re almost purring.”

  I chuckled. “Helps that you’re still inside me.”

  He kissed me and rolled his hips. “I never want to leave.”

  “Then don’t.”

  He ran his thumb across my cheek. “Are you not tired?”

  I shook my head. “Not really.”

  “Good. Because you didn’t get off, so there needs to be a round two.”

  I hummed, liking the sound of that very much. “We never did test our theory on bioaccumulation.”

  Jack laughed and slowly slipped out of my body, quickly wrapping me up in his arms instead. “I’m going to need about twenty minutes and some food.”

  “Should we venture out to the kitchen?”

  “If we have to.”

  Neither of us moved, just enjoying the peaceful moment between us. “Thank you,” I said eventually. “For not denying me. I felt quite out of sorts, and it didn’t really occur to me what it was. But I needed this intimacy between us. It was rather difficult to articulate, but I just needed to be yours again. And you did exactly that. So, thank you.”

  “You were out of sorts. But you feel okay now?”

  I nodded and kissed his chest. “Much better.”

  Jack sighed. It was a contented sound with a hint of understanding. He gave me a hard squeeze and another kiss to the side of my head. “Just so you know, Lawson, my love, you are mine, and I am yours. But if you ever need reminding, I won’t ever deny you.” He pulled back so he could put his hand to my cheek and kiss me.

  “I love you, Jack. Now and forever.”

  He smiled. “Thank you.”

  I kissed him softly. “Let me get you some dinner, then we can further our research on biotransference and accumulation.”