He looked down at the palms of his hands for a moment and then looked over across the river. “I haven’t talked about it much.” He grimaced. “That’s something we have in common—not talking too much. She was killed in an accident.”
She shook her head and looked at Zac. “I’m sorry about your wife. My husband died in a car accident.”
“She left me a note saying she was leaving me.”
“No!” His story was similar to her own. She shook her head in sorrow. “Since I’ve already told you half of my life story, I might as well tell you the rest. The night he died, my husband announced that he was leaving me for another woman. He’d been carrying on an affair with her for a whole year. He blamed me; can you believe it? He blamed me for him leaving because I was ‘so consumed with work that I didn’t have time for him.’”
He gave a nod. “I’m sorry to hear that. The strange thing is that my wife died in the exact same way. She was leaving me to be with an Englischer.”
She shook her head. “It taints their memory. Well, it taints my memory of Sean.”
“Sean?” he jumped up.
She frowned. “Yes, his name was Sean.”
“Please tell me it wasn’t Sean Fordyce.”
Her jaw dropped open and she had no words. She stared at him and nodded.
He sat down, and said in a low voice, “Isn’t your name Walker?”
“I go by my maiden name—Walker. I never took Sean’s name. So it was your wife he was running away with?”
“It seems so. That was the man’s name on the note she left.” He lowered his head and rubbed his forehead with the palms of his hands. “I didn’t know the affair had been going on for a year.”
“I’m sorry.”
He sat up straight. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry for.”
Then it suddenly made perfect sense to Jane. Derek had set this whole thing up. He must’ve found out that Sean had crashed the car with a woman in the passenger seat who also died. His research must’ve led him to Zac Yoder and the B&B.
“Zac, I think that someone at work sent me here on purpose. Derek must’ve found out that Sean was in the car with your wife at the time of the accident.”
“Why would he do that?”
“To upset me. He really is trying to take my place at work.”
“Well, we both mustn’t let it upset us, then. Neither of us had any part in our spouses’ decisions. It was their choice to leave us.”
Jane looked into his brown eyes. No woman in her right mind would surely ever leave him, but Jane knew she hadn’t been a good wife to Sean.
“You’re looking at me like you think the accident was your fault.”
“If I had been a better wife, he wouldn’t have had an affair. I let him down so many times. I wouldn’t take his last name because I was known professionally as Jane Walker, and I delayed having children.” She blinked back tears, wondering if Sean would’ve left if he’d known she was expecting a child. She’d delayed telling him because he would’ve insisted she leave work, whereas she wanted to keep working.
“None of this is your fault. You were even giving him a child.”
“That’s true,” she said through sniffs. “But I hadn’t told him about the baby. I don’t know why. I guess I should’ve told him as soon as I found out.” What she didn’t tell Zac was that she’d told Sean she never wanted children. She knew she wasn’t going to be a good mother, but now that a child was on the way, she was determined to be the very best mother she could.
“A child is a blessing. You’ll find that out.”
She smiled at the look in his eyes as he spoke about children. Then she shook her head as Derek popped into her mind. “I can’t believe Derek would do this.”
“Is Derek the man from work?”
She nodded.
“If he’s done this to upset you, don’t let it. You and I will form a friendship, an alliance and be strong together.” He put his large hand out, palm facing up.
She placed her hand in his and he closed his fingers and gave her hand a squeeze as he smiled. Embarrassed to touch a stranger in such a way, she pulled her hand back.
“Maybe you should tell someone at work what Derek has done,” he said.
“I would look silly, and besides, I don’t think Tyrone would believe Derek did it deliberately. They would say my pregnancy hormones were making me paranoid.”
“And are they?”
She laughed. “Obviously not! Well, maybe in some way they’re making me mad, but not paranoid.”
“I think you’re doing remarkably well. I’ve got a daughter to raise on my own, but I’ve got family helping me. You’ve got to get through the birth, find your way after the baby’s born, and work a job as well.”
She shook her head. “Don’t talk about it. It’s all too much for me to think about right now.”
“You’ll get through it. From what I’ve seen, you’re a strong woman.”
“I’ve had to fight many battles to get where I am in my career.” When he raised his eyebrows, she smiled. “Not fight physically, of course, but I’ve had a lot of obstacles put in my way from people like Derek.”
“Maybe you weren’t sent here by Derek, maybe you were sent here by someone else, so you and I could meet and help one another.”
Jane smiled and looked over the water. “You mean, sent from God?”
“Yes.”
She giggled. “That’s nice of you to say. It makes me feel better thinking there’s a higher power at work rather than that I'm being manipulated by Derek.”
“Go ahead and think that way, then.”
“I shall. I feel better already.”
He gave a sharp nod. “Good!”
“Do your parents know your wife had left you—and all that?”
“They do. Everyone in the community knows she was leaving me. Many of them say the car accident was God’s judgment on her.”
Jane was surprised, thinking it seemed a little judgmental. “Is that what you think?”
He shook his head. “I think God judges us on the great judgment day. I don’t think He punishes us and makes bad things happen while we’re here.”
Jane sighed. She was trying to get by in this life rather than thinking about what was going to happen after. “I guess I couldn’t take it all in at the time—to recall her name even if they’d told me. All I remember was that they said she was an Amish woman and was wearing Amish clothes. After he was gone, I saw from his credit card statement that he’d shopped at a women’s clothing store. I guess he’d bought her some clothes to change into, but they never got that far.” She looked back at him to see him staring at the ground. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be talking about these things.”
He shook his head. “I’m still getting used to everything. Maybe—I’m not sure what it is.”
“It’s beautiful here by the river.”
“It is. It’s my favorite place to be. I do feel dreadful that my wife caused you so much pain.”
“You couldn’t help it. I don’t blame anyone.”
“Now, that’s three shocks you’ve had today. Will you be okay to walk back?”
“Yes, I will.” She looked into his eyes. “I’m glad I came here. I feel better about things now.”
He nodded. “Me too.”
They walked back to the house in silence as Jane wondered whether she should tell Tyrone about the game that Derek was playing. She ran the risk of Tyrone not believing a word she said, and that was the reason that stopped her from calling him again.
Taking a sideways glance at Zac, she wondered why his wife would’ve decided to leave him, and why she had felt the need to carry on a secret affair. Jane was tempted to ask Zac if he knew where his wife had met Sean, but Zac had already shared enough with her for one day. Perhaps they’d talk about it some more over the next few weeks. She already felt better finding out that another human understood her pain— almost as though she’d found a kindred spirit within Za
c, who shared her pain. He surely knew part of what she’d been going through. Not only had she lost a spouse, the loss came directly after the confession of the greatest deception anyone could experience.
“You doing okay?” he asked.
She smiled at him and nodded. “I am. I suppose I'll just spend the rest of the day resting and reading. Thank you for showing me around the place.”
“I didn't show you much. I hope you’ll allow me to give you another tour another day?”
“I'd like that.”
He pushed the back door of the house open and she walked in, wondering if he would follow. She turned around when he stayed on the step.
“I’ll get back to work,” he said as he glanced behind him. “That’s the delivery truck now.”
“How are you doing now?” Lizzie asked when Jane walked into the common room.
“I'm feeling much better now after that walk in the fresh air.”
“That's good. And I hope you put your worries to rest at least for now.”
“Yes I have. Talking with Zac helped.”
Lizzie looked at her as though she were startled. “Talking with Zac helped?”
“Yes.” Jane didn't know what Lizzie’s reaction would have been if she’d told her that Zac’s wife had been running away with her husband when she’d been killed. It wasn’t her information to tell. “I think I might lie down in my room and read.”
“Good idea! I'll come and get you when dinner is ready if you like. You're always welcome to sit and read here in the sunroom, too. Guests come in here all the time.”
“Thank you, I might do that later. I think I'll just read in bed for now, and I might be able to fall asleep for a little while.”
Lizzie nodded. “I’ll come and fetch you for dinner if you're not in the dining room by then.”
“Thank you. I wouldn't want to miss out on dinner.” She walked out of the sunroom and headed to her bedroom—the Rose Room.
Once in her room, she recovered her book from under the quilt and began reading from where she’d left off the night before. Although she tried her best to lose herself in the story, her thoughts returned to Zac. She wanted to learn more about him and what became of his marriage for his wife to leave him, and especially her daughter. Had Zac ignored his wife, as Sean had accused her of doing to him?
“Jane.”
Jane slowly opened her eyes and saw that it was dark outside. “Yes?” She pushed herself up in the bed, and the door opened.
Mrs. Yoder walked in with one of the young housemaids, who was carrying in a tray of food. “Mary has your dinner here.”
“Oh, thank you. Did I sleep past dinner?”
Mary placed the tray on her nightstand.
“You did. I knocked a couple of times and when you didn’t answer, I peeped in to see you fast asleep. I didn’t want to wake you.”
“Thank you for going to all this trouble.” Jane pushed her hair back from her face. “I didn’t think I would’ve slept so heavily and for so long.”
“You must’ve needed it. When you finish with your tray you can just leave it here, or put it outside your door.”
Mary headed out the door in front of Lizzie.
“Thank you, Mary,” Jane called after her.
The young woman turned and smiled at her.
“I would’ve brought the tray in myself,” Lizzie said, “but I can’t carry anything too heavy.”
“I feel very spoiled.”
“That’s what vacations are about. Now, will you be needing anything else?”
“No. I’m fine.” Jane knew she could make a cup of tea in the room if she needed one later.
“Good night, Jane.”
“Good night, Lizzie, and thank you again.”
“You’re more than welcome.” Lizzie smiled before she walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.
Jane leaned over and removed the lids of the containers to see what was there. There were plenty of cooked vegetables and meat with gravy. In another dish were sliced peaches with ice-cream. Not wanting to eat melted ice-cream, she did away with protocol and ate the dessert first.
Now she’d have to wait until tomorrow at breakfast to see Zac again since she’d slept past dinner.
Chapter 8
I have not hid thy righteousness within my heart;
I have declared thy faithfulness and thy salvation:
I have not concealed thy lovingkindness
and thy truth from the great congregation.
Psalm 40:10
* * *
Jane sat at the dining table over a breakfast of pancakes and maple syrup.
“Do you normally have breakfast like this or only when you have guests come to stay?”
“We always have a cooked breakfast,” Lizzie said.
Tobias grinned. “When we have the girls here to help.”
Lizzie turned to her husband, and said, “There's only so much I can do by myself.”
“Sometimes I roll my sleeves up,” Tobias explained to Jane with a chuckle.
Lizzie pursed her lips. “And that’s not very often, is it?”
Tobias shook his head. “I guess it isn’t.”
“Well, it's delicious. I haven't had pancakes like this since I don't know when.”
Lizzie smiled at Jane’s words.
“And what are you going to do today, Jane?” Zac asked.
“I think I’ll have a quiet morning, and then this afternoon I might have a look around the town.”
Zac nodded.
Jane looked at Gia, who was staring at her. “And are you going to school again today?”
“Yes, I have to; I have to go Monday through Friday. Dat said that I have to go. Otherwise, I wouldn't go there—ever.” Gia looked up at her father. “Ms. Walker talked to me, Dat, or I wouldn't have spoken.”
He smiled. “I noticed that; very good, Gia. Now eat up.”
“You learn some good things at school, Gia,” Jane said.
“That's what Dat keeps saying and I'm still waiting.”
Tobias chuckled. “I don't think I learned anything when I was at school. Back in those days, we only went for two days a week. There were only my family and one other family of children.”
“That’s not helping, Dat,” Zac said through gritted teeth.
Tobias frowned and said to Gia, “It wasn't like it is today.”
“That was a very long time ago, Tobias,” Lizzie said.
Zac shook his head.
Jane noticed again the age difference between Lizzie and Tobias. I guess love knows no age, she thought before she looked across the table at Zac. “Are you doing more of your building work today, Zac?”
“Yes, I have to get on with it. It isn’t going to get finished by itself.”
“Isn’t it a lot of work to do alone?”
“I’m having people help out soon, but there are a few days work by myself ahead of me.”
“Too bad I’m too old to help,” Tobias said.
Lizzie frowned. “Well, you are, so don’t go getting silly ideas into your head.”
Tobias smiled like a mischievous child.
When breakfast was over, Jane wandered to her room for her book. She would read for a couple of hours in the sunroom since it was a sunny day. After lunch, she would explore the township.
Soon after she had settled herself with a book in the sunroom, she heard noises like a horse and buggy heading to the house. She stood up and craned her neck to see that was exactly what she’d heard.
She sat back down again and found the place she’d left off reading.
A few minutes later, she noticed she wasn’t alone in the sitting room. Jane looked up to see Gracie, the midwife.
“How are you feeling today, Jane?”
“Hello. I heard the buggy but didn’t know it was you.” Jane closed the book. “I'm feeling fine; much better today, thanks.”
“It must have been the stress of those calls just like you thought. I hope whateve
r it was has been sorted out now.”
“I don't think it can be, but I'm doing my best not to think about it.”
Gracie sat next to her. “That's always best. I rearranged my appointments today because I was worried about you.”
“You did that just for me?” No one had ever done anything like that for her. “That was so thoughtful. Thank you.”
Gracie giggled. “I’ll still come back next week to check on you. I won’t do that today if you’re feeling okay. Do you have plans today?”
Jane smiled and held up her book. “And this afternoon I’m going to have a look around the town.”
“I could show you around.”
“Could you? What about your appointments?”
“I’ve none today. I had two appointments that I shuffled around. I'll be happy to show you about, if you’d like.”
“I’d love that.”
“Good.” Gracie stood up. “I'll see if Lizzie wants to come too.”
Jane was pleased that she had someone to drive her and show her the township. She had a map that Lizzie had given her, but she’d never been good at reading maps.
Gracie came back into the room. “Lizzie said she won't come with us. She’s got too much to do here. The girls aren't cooking lunch today, which means that you and I can have lunch in town.”
“I would truly love that. Will we go now?”
“There’s no reason why we can't.”
“And we get to go on the buggy?”
Gracie laughed. “In the buggy—that’s how we say it. Unless you’d like to walk?”
“I've never been a fan of walking. I’ll just get my bag.”
“You look like something is on your mind, Jane. Is everything okay?”
“Well, apart from the disturbing phone calls I had yesterday I found out something else which is quite shocking.”
“Do you want to tell me about it? I’m a good listener.”
Looking at Gracie, she knew she could trust her. “Okay, but please, don’t tell anyone. I haven’t mentioned it to Lizzie.”
Gracie nodded.
A Pregnant Widow's Amish Vacation Page 6