Jane took a deep breath. She’d gone this far and said this much; now she had to tell her what was on her mind. “I was talking to Zac yesterday. He was showing me around the B&B. Then I found out we have something very much in common.”
Gracie tilted her head to one side. “What?”
“Well, I guess I'm not revealing any secrets because Zac said that everyone in the community knows that his wife was running away with another man when she was killed.”
“Yes everyone knows that; you're not revealing any secrets. Go on.”
"It was my husband that Zac’s wife was running away with.”
Gracie’s jaw dropped open and she leaned back in her chair. “No!”
Jane nodded. “It's true and it is shocking. There’s a man at work and he's after my job. It was he who arranged that I come to the Yoder’s B&B. He must’ve looked into things and he made certain I was sent there.”
“Why would he do that?”
“He wanted to upset me.”
“That's dreadful. I'm so sorry, Jane.” Gracie leaned over and touched Jane on the arm.
“I know it's rather disturbing, but still, it makes me feel better now that I’ve met Zac. He’s going through the same thing that I'm going through—the feeling of loss and rejection.”
Gracie nodded. “Zac’s such a good man; he didn't deserve any of it.”
“Why wasn’t his wife happy with him?”
“I don’t know. There wasn’t any reason that I could see, but Ralene wasn’t a very stable woman.”
“How do you mean?” Jane asked.
She shook her head. “I shouldn’t say anything.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t want you to betray any private information. I was just speaking in general terms.”
Gracie’s shoulders slumped. “Ralene didn’t accept her child. When I brought Gia to her right after she was born, she yelled that it wasn’t her baby. She claimed that I’d swapped Gia with another baby. But I couldn’t have—there were no other babies in the house. The baby came right out of Ralene, and all I did was clear mucus away from her nose and mouth and as soon as she breathed I gave her to Ralene.” Gracie shook her head. “She was a disturbed woman. And she didn’t accept Gia as her daughter—it took nearly a year.”
“That would’ve been so hard on Zac.”
“It was. They never had another child.”
“What do you know of their relationship?” Jane asked trying not to appear too keen to hear the answer.
“I’ve always been a good friend of the family and he's always been a lovely man. I’ve never heard a bad word about him, not even a rumour. And if he’d mistreated his wife, there would’ve been rumours believe me. News like that travels faster than wildfire in the community.”
“Were people surprised when they learned what happened?”
“Everyone was shocked and devastated by what had happened. She left the path and she most surely must face the consequences of that on the Day of Judgment.”
Jane nodded, guessing that was what the Amish thought, going by Gia’s comment at the dinner table about her young friend telling her that her mother wasn’t going to be with God.
“It must be hard for you to be giving birth soon and having your husband gone.”
“It is. It’d be nice to have someone there for me—a partner in life. It must be hard for Zac too.”
“There are a few women trying to remedy that problem.” Gracie laughed.
“He has admirers?”
Gracie’s eyes twinkled. “There are many women who would like to become his wife.”
They were interrupted by the waitress bringing the soup they’d ordered, along with a large basket of fresh crusty bread, and butter.
Jane was determined to get the conversation away from Zac. He was starting to dominate all her thoughts. “All the food I’ve had since I’ve arrived has been truly amazing. It’s only a shame I can’t eat very much at one sitting.”
“That’s what tourists always say.”
“Oh no. I hate to be one of the crowd. I’ve always liked to be different.”
Chapter 9
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for,
the evidence of things not seen.
Hebrews 11:1
* * *
Late that same afternoon, when Jane had recovered from her day out, she headed down toward the river. She had visions of relaxing on the stone seat and watching the water ripple by. Rest and calming thoughts were what she needed right now. Not wanting to disturb Zac or have him think she wanted him to talk with her, she took a wide berth around the area of the building he’d said he was working on that day.
On her way to the river, movement to her left caught Jane’s eye. She saw Zac in a paddock with a horse trotting around him in a circle. Wondering what he was doing she walked over and leaned against the top rail of the white wooden fence.
When he hadn't noticed her after a few minutes, she called out to him. “What are you doing? Aren't you supposed to be working?”
Zac looked up at her and smiled. “I have to do this. I do a bit of everything. It's all left up to me now that my parents are older.” He stopped the horse.
“No. Don't let me keep you from your work. Keep going, please.”
He laughed and patted the chestnut horse on his neck. “We were due to have a rest.” He looked her up and down. “Where are you going to?”
“I thought I’d get back down to the river. It was peaceful there yesterday and I figured I need a bit more peace in my life.”
“I think you certainly do.”
“I went out with Gracie today. She took me to town, we had lunch and she showed me some places. I might go back tomorrow and have a better look around.” She bit her lip hoping it didn’t sound like she wanted him to offer to take her. When he nodded, she quickly asked, “What are you doing with the horse?”
“I'm training him to take a harness.”
“Can you ride on his back?”
“He’s too young. I got him a few months ago, but haven't had a chance to do anything with him until now.”
“You can train him to pull a buggy yourself? You don’t send him out somewhere to be trained?”
He shook his head. “My grandfather was a horse trainer, amongst other things. He showed me what to do.”
She wanted to stay and talk with him, but at the same time, she didn’t want to wear out her welcome. “I won't hold you up.”
“If I wasn't in the middle of training, I’d come with you.”
“That would’ve been nice.”
“Another time?”
“I’d like that.” She took a step away.
“I’ll remember that,” Zac said his dark eyes crinkling at the corners.
“Okay, I'll guess I'll see you at dinner?”
“Yes, I'll see you at dinner.”
She looked away and before she got many steps further, she glanced over her shoulder to see he’d turned back to his horse. Not being able to stop herself, she took in the strength of his body—evident in his muscular arms—and the width of his shoulders. No wonder there were so many women who wanted to marry him. If she were Amish she’d most definitely be one of them.
Turning toward the river, Derek, work, and the O’Connor account seemed a million miles away.
Jane walked along the stones by the riverbank and imagined what it would’ve been like for the pioneers hundreds of years ago coming to the untamed country and making a life for themselves. Tingles ran through her body. If they could make a life for themselves out of nothing, then surely, with her strength and determination, she could rebuild hers.
Through a clearing in the trees that lined the river, Jane caught a glimpse of the house. Mentally stripping back the added on sections, she visualized the stone building as it would've been when it was first built. Jane tried to recall what Lizzie had said the first night she was there for dinner. Tobias’ great-grandfather had fathered something like nineteen children.
>
A smile twigged Jane’s lips at the thought of so many children. She thought she had problems with one on the way. The birth—she’d have to get organized soon and book into the hospital, or indeed make other arrangements if she were going to have a homebirth. Time was marching on; she’d have to decide soon.
Next week when Gracie came back to check her over, she’d make her decision after asking a lot of questions.
When the stone seat came into view, she wandered over to it and sat down. Once she was seated, she realized something that she already knew in her heart, and that was that life should be more than working seven days a week. She’d driven Sean away by her obsessiveness over work.
Jane stared at the water and pushed all thoughts out of her mind. Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the cool breeze that caressed her skin and the dappled sun kissing her skin as it shone through the trees.
When it was time for dinner, Jane headed to the dining room. She was surprised to see only Zac and Gia sitting at the table.
“Where are your parents?” she asked Zac as she sat down.
“My mother's got a friend who's taken ill. She's gone to help look after her. My father’s gone with her. They go almost everywhere together.”
“I'm sorry to hear that her friend’s not well. Nothing too serious I hope?”
“I'm not sure. I just got a note to say where she’d gone. I don't know anything more until she gets back.”
Jane nodded and looked at Gia. “Hello, Gia.”
“Hello, Ms. Walker,” Gia said with a big smile on her face.
“Did you have a nice day at school?”
“It was okay,” she said.
“That's good. Okay is better than horrible.”
Gia giggled and covered her mouth.
“Have you lost a tooth?” Jane asked Gia
Gia nodded and took her hand away to show her. One of her middle baby teeth was missing. Jane had to stop herself from asking about the tooth fairy; she was pretty certain the Amish wouldn't have such traditions.
“You're growing up fast.”
“Dat says I'm going to be tall.”
The two ladies brought the dinner and placed it in the center of the table.
“I wonder what we’re having tonight?” Jane said.
“I’d say chicken casserole by the smell of it.” Zac pulled the lid off to reveal chicken in some kind of vegetable sauce and by the look of it, it had a lot of tomatoes.
“I'm right,” he said. “I’ll serve you.”
“Thank you,” Jane said.
Dinner went by too quickly for Jane’s liking. After dinner, Zac asked if she’d like to have coffee with him in the living room after he put Gia to bed. Of course, Jane agreed.
Chapter 10
While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest,
and cold and heat, and summer and winter,
and day and night shall not cease.
Genesis 8:22
* * *
Jane waited for Zac to come into the living room, and as she waited, she read her book, trying to contain her excitement over having more time alone with him.
When he finally came into the room, he brought a tray of coffee with him.
As he poured the hot coffee into two cups, he asked, “You don't have to answer if you don't wish to, but do you know how my wife met your husband?”
Trying to hide her disappointment at him wanting to be alone with her to ask about his late wife, Jane answered, “All I know is that he traveled for his work. He must've met her in this town somewhere I'm guessing.”
“It must've been hard for you with him away so much.”
“I worked a lot. Looking after Sean became another chore—something else I had to do.”
He raised his eyebrows. “I’d imagined you had a different relationship with your husband.”
“It wasn't the kind of relationship I wanted—it never was. When I married him I thought I had a companion, someone to go through life’s ups and downs with, but we never saw eye-to-eye on anything.” She shook her head. “Even before we married it was like that.”
“My wife,” he said in a low voice, “was always unsettled. She always wanted to do different things. In the last year of her life she settled down, but that would’ve been when she met your husband. I guess he was consuming her attention.”
“I'm sorry. I'm sorry my husband broke up your family in the way that he did.”
“It's hardly your fault.”
“I feel responsible. I suspected him of having affairs. I could've had him followed but I didn't. If I’d exposed him, none of this would've happened.”
“We can't go back,” Zac said. “And there's no use blaming yourself.”
“I don't mean to. I just wish there would've been something I could've done to stop what happened. It's a waste of two lives and it's left my child without a father and your child without a mother. It’s a senseless waste.”
“It was their decisions that are to blame, because of the choices they made. It's got very little to do with us.”
She sniffed in an effort to stop the tears she could feel stinging behind her eyes. “I suppose you're right.”
He smiled at her. “Drink your coffee it’s getting cold.”
She picked up the small coffee cup and took a sip. “Is your father a lot older than your mother? He appears to be.”
“He’s eighteen years old than she is. He’d never married and when they met, she was eighteen and he was thirty six. From the way they tell it, she was the one who approached him about marriage. He thought she was far too young for him, but she talked him ‘round.”
Jane laughed. “Your mother certainly seems like a woman who knows what she wants.”
“She’s a very strong woman. And she's gotten this B&B through some hard times. And she's made a success of it.”
“Yes. It’s a lovely place.”
“It’ll be more so when the work is done. I’ve got a few more days work by myself and then a team is coming to help.”
“You must feel good about that.” Jane had taken another sip of coffee before she realized she had given it up recently.
“I can't wait,” he said with a laugh.
She placed the cup down in the saucer.
Zac asked, “Now what are you going to do about your situation at work?”
“Oh no. Don't talk about work; I’m trying to forget about it.”
“Okay. I'm sorry I mentioned it,” he said.
“I know you probably think I should tell my boss that Derek set me up to come here, but there's every chance my boss won't believe me and I’d look silly.”
“But then there's a chance that your boss will believe you and he’ll take the appropriate action.”
“I kind of want to prove I'm better than Derek—do a better job than him, so if I expose him and what he’s done, I might never get the chance.”
“Is it important to you to prove you're better than someone else?”
“Yes. In my line of work it is. Isn’t it important to everyone?”
Zac appeared to be deep in thought. “It's never bothered me that someone might be better than me at doing a certain thing.”
“I live in a competitive environment, in a competitive world.”
“And it creates a lot of stress for you. And that can’t be healthy for you or the baby.”
“You’re right, but that's the way things are. Now that the insurance money isn't coming through, it makes my job even more important. And now without Sean’s wages, I’ve only got my job to rely on.”
He nodded and looked thoughtful.
Jane asked, “So what you're saying is, I should tell Tyrone what Derek has done and I shouldn't worry about proving I can do a better job than Derek? Even though I might lose my job if Derek gets what he’s truly after and that is to discredit me in Tyrone’s eyes.”
Zac laughed. “I can't even understand what you just said; it all seems very complicated.”
She bit the
inside of her lip. It was very complicated and a simple Amish man wouldn't have the life experience to understand the complexities of corporate life. “You probably don't understand because your job is secure and you don't have to worry about money coming in or being out of work. I guess your family has relied on this B&B for a couple of generations now.” She hoped she hadn’t offended him.
“Yes. I suppose you're right. I wouldn't know how you feel. I've always had things I've been able to do to make money when I've needed it. That is, apart from doing work around the house. And I’ve got a large family of brothers and now that they’ve got families, their families are also mine.”
“That would be nice, to have that.” She rubbed her forehead with both her palms. “I think the best thing I can do is put work right out of my mind. Your mother said she wanted help with the relaunching of this place, so I’ll concentrate on that.” She lifted up the book that she'd brought into the room with her. “In between reading my book and seeing the sights. I'll spend a few days being a tourist.”
“I’d show you around, but I have work that needs to be done.”
“No. I wouldn't have you show me around; I know you're very busy. Gia seems to be adjusting well to her mother being gone.”
“She's doing better now that we've moved back in with my parents and away from the house we used to live in. My wife used to leave her with other people often, and mostly with my parents. This has always been her second home.”
“It makes me sad that my child will never know his, or her, father.”
“It might be easier that way,” Zac said, "than to lose a parent when you're old enough to know."
“Do you think so?”
He smiled back at her. “I really don't know. No child should have to be without both parents, but I think it's not something for us to question or dwell on.”
“It’s hard not to, but I suppose you’re right because we’re never going to make sense of what happened,” she said knowing he probably had some religious reasons for saying what he did about not questioning.
He smiled at her and she couldn’t help but smile back. “What?” she asked after a while.
A Pregnant Widow's Amish Vacation Page 7