10. WORDLESS COMMUNICATION
Suranne
I huffed, threw the covers off my body and glanced at the time on my phone.
2 a.m.
Groaning, I laid flat on my back, listening to the faint tick of the huge clock my aunt had downstairs. Staring at the ceiling I tried to lose myself in the noise of the constant ticking, hoping that I could be lulled into sleep. I took a deep breath and just listened.
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick
Keeping my eyes fastened on the ceiling I tried to blink less often, and felt my eyelids getting heavier.
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick
I blinked even slower now, and each time I did, my eyes stayed closed much longer than the last.
Tick, tick, tick, tick
“Psst!”
I frowned but kept my eyes closed, staying with the rhythm of the clock and trying to ignore any other sounds, like some animal outside my window.
Tick, tick, tick, tick
“PSSST!!” The noise was louder, and for some strange reason, didn’t entirely resemble an animal.
“Suranne! Wake up!” it hissed.
I bolted upright out of bed and glanced at the night sky through my window. Oh, God. I recognised that voice. It couldn’t be.
Could it?
I slowly slid my legs to the edge of the bed, and pulled myself upright, taking small, wobbly steps to the window. I glanced downwards, then gasped and clutched my chest with my hand, trying to lower my heartbeat.
There, on the front drive of my aunt’s house, was Kane Richards, using his phone as a light, peering at the front of the house and hissing my name.
I took a deep breath and started chanting to myself to keep calm.
Don’t be happy he’s here. Don’t be happy he’s here.
Oh my God he’s here! Why is he here?!
Calm down, Suranne. Breathe.
I peeked at his figure once again, and smiled. He obviously didn’t notice me standing here watching him, and I could faintly hear him mumbling to himself.
“Shit! . . . getting myself into . . . probably hit me . . . face is too good for that.”
I rolled my eyes and lifted up my window.
“What do you want, Kane?” I sighed as his head snapped up, and his glorious lips turned up in a faint smile.
“Suranne,” he breathed; his voice almost sounded relieved to see me, but I guessed it was more from not having to hiss my name like an idiot at two in the morning than from seeing my face.
I sighed inwardly. If only.
“Well, duh,” I tried to put on my best American accent and rolled my eyes at him. “Who else would it be?”
He laughed and looked down at the grass before fidgeting with his phone.
Hmm . . . Kane Richards looked uncomfortable . . . almost nervous. Well this should be interesting.
“How do you even know where I live?” I asked in a low voice, hoping not to wake my aunt.
He shrugged.
“I googled your aunt. Found the address pretty easy.” His head snapped up at me and his lips curved into a small smile “Hey, could you come down? I need to talk to you.”
“Hold on a sec,” I replied and pulled my window shut, turned, and quietly did a little victory dance, before pulling myself together.
“Be angry, he insulted you,” I murmured to myself, but couldn’t control the grin that was plastered on my face.
I looked for some suitable shoes, but all I could see were my fluffy bunny slippers, and I could just imagine his face when he spotted them. I don’t think I could deal with Kane Richards making a laughing stock out of me at this time of morning.
Christ.
Where were my flats? I couldn’t exactly go out there in heels, that would be ridiculous, but those damn slippers were definitely out of the question.
I’d just have to go barefoot.
I tried smoothing my hair out of its animalistic state and slowly crept down the stairs to the front door. I opened it quietly and stepped out onto the front porch, folding my arms in the process.
Kane was standing further down the drive, with his perfectly toned back to me, and his hand was running through his hair. His tight black top showed his muscles flexing from the movement perfectly, and I bit my lip as my eyes raked over his luscious frame.
“Well?” I asked, with one eyebrow raised. He spun around, and his eyes widened as he slowly stared at my body. I’d forgotten that I was only wearing boy shorts and a tank top and mentally screamed at myself for forgetting to put on some trousers. His eyes continued to run up my legs and rested on my hips before I smirked and cleared my throat.
“If you’ve woken me up at two in the bloody morning only to ogle at my legs you can piss off,” I muttered, and his head snapped up to my eyes, before his face softened and he smiled warmly at me.
God, his smile was sexy.
I put my hands on my hips and waited for him to talk, but he just ran his hand through his hair again and continued blinking at me. I could tell he was thinking about something, but I really didn’t want to stand there forever.
I deliberately sighed and folded my arms again, waiting for him to start, but decided that I was going to start for him. I glared at his face before I spoke.
“You know, you could begin with an apology,” I announced firmly, but his face went dark and his eyes seemed to focus again.
“Suranne,” he breathed quietly, “I don’t know what I said.” His voice seemed strained, and his eyes were shining at me, burning into me whilst his expression looked pleading.
I took a deep breath, as I felt the saliva in my mouth turn sour at the memory of his words.
“You said I wasn’t even close to those other girls, which means that I’m worse right? I mean jeez, if those girls are skanks and you think I’m worse?” I breathed a laugh and shook my head in disbelief.
I felt the stinging in my eyes as his words rang through me again. Why did it hurt so much? I tried to swallow my tears and the lump in my throat. I really didn’t want to cry in front of this guy.
Even in the darkness I could see his eyes flash.
“Is that what you think?!” he almost growled and took two long strides over to me and pushed me up against the front door, leaving me breathless, staring into his face. His eyes seemed to be conveying something I couldn’t quite distinguish. Almost anger, but I wasn’t sure.
“It’s what you said,” I whispered in reply.
He closed his eyes, clenched his jaw, and leaned his forehead against mine.
“I was trying to say that you’re better than them. That you’re different in a good way,” he breathed, so quietly that I had to push my face closer just to hear him, but this action also caused me to be within a millimetre of his mouth. I could feel his hot breath against my face, and I stared at his perfect red lips, so close to mine, then peeked up at his eyes, only to find them open and watching me.
He slowly slid his hands up my arms, making me shiver, and cupped my face firmly.
“I don’t give a shit that you’re a total bitch to me, I don’t give a shit that it’s like three in the morning, and I certainly don’t give a shit if this isn’t what you want,” he growled, took one last look at my mouth and then roughly pressed his lips against mine. They were warm, and firm as I melted into his embrace, moving my lips with his. He groaned into my mouth and licked my bottom lip, and I granted him entrance, parting my lips slowly as our lips moved gently against each other.
“Suranne! Honey, is that you?” Aunt Clacy called from behind the front door and Kane pulled away abruptly, both of us gasping for air.
“Christ,” I breathed, my mind going into a silent frenzy at the feel of Kane’s lips against mine.
“Umm, yeah . . . i—it’s me, just give me a minute,” I stammered weakly, as Kane pulled back a step with a grin on his face.
He winked at me and chuckled before coming closer and kissing my forehead.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he
murmured gently, before walking back to his car, pulling out of the driveway and disappearing all together.
I walked back inside, and waved off my aunt’s questioning glare, my smile growing wider with every step I took toward my bedroom.
I smiled to myself and shook my head as I sat down on the edge of my bed.
Some talk that was.
11. BACKGROUND TRUTHS
Kane
As I made my way up my porch steps I still had a huge grin on my face. My mind was still going over that kiss, and those damn lips. I chuckled and shook my head minutely as I thought about the kinda pull my girl had over me.
I stood still in my tracks and gaped at myself.
My girl?
My mind never thought shit like that, but I wasn’t denying the fact that it sounded damn good to me.
I continued shaking my head but put it down to the sleep deprivation. It was after three in the morning after all. I just needed some sleep.
I put my keys quietly in the door and tiptoed in silently, trying not to wake Mom. The last thing I needed was that. But like I said before, God truly does hate me, and with that, the lights snapped on and standing there in her nightgown looking dirty, drunk, and depressed she stood.
Dammit.
“Where the hell have you been?” she slurred. I bit back a grimace at her appearance. Fair enough if she wanted to make herself feel like crap. Hell, even if she tried dragging me down with her. But my sister didn’t deserve this. She was twelve for Christ’s sake.
I clenched my jaw as I stared at her bloodshot puffy eyes and matted brown hair. A half empty glass of some clear liquid was shaking in her hand. She looked like hell. But telling her so would get us nowhere and I really didn’t have the energy for it. So I sighed, and walked up to her, took her arm carefully, and led her to the stairs.
“Nowhere, Mom. It’s late. You should get some rest,” I murmured softly, pleading with my eyes to please just this once not make a scene.
Please, don’t let her make a scene . . .
But I was startled out of my silent chanting when I heard the familiar sound of glass coming into contact with and shattering against the kitchen floor as my mom yanked her arm away from me with vigor.
“Don’t give me that shit! . . . I’m your mother, you will answer me!” she spat, swaying towards the kitchen counter unsteadily. Her eyes danced crazily from her inebriated state, but flashed with anger when I reflexively reached out to steady her.
“Mom, you need to get a grip, this shit ain’t fair to Ashley,” I sighed, running a hand through my hair and holding the roots tightly. I really was too tired for this, and I’d be swaying myself if I didn’t get to sleep.
She slapped my hand away and gripped the counter to keep herself upright. “You think I don’t know that!” she hissed at me, her words coming out in a slurred, but vicious tone. “You think I don’t think about that everyday? You think I don’t see the pity in your eyes every time you look at me?” She glared at me and let out a slow humorless chuckle, then her face twisted slightly as she gazed down at the floor where the shards of glass and alcohol were scattered. She grimaced, and I realized when I spotted the empty bottle on the counter, that she wasn’t grimacing at the mess she’d made, but at the fact that she’d wasted her last bit of alcohol.
My teeth clamped shut with an audible snap, and I pushed past her to get the brush and dustpan from the cupboard to clean up. She continued gazing absently as I cleaned up all the pieces of glass.
“Your father would be proud,” she whispered, still staring blankly at the floor, her eyes glazed over.
I felt the anger boil up in me, and stiffened. My fists clenched tightly against the brush handle. My skin stretched painfully over my knuckles as I tried to take calming breaths but all I could hear were her words and her raspy breaths surrounding me. She had no right to even mention him when she stood there drunk and wallowing. She knew it.
I snapped my head up at her, and glowered at her face, realizing that I just didn’t have it in me anymore to deal with it. With her. I never thought that I could lose respect for the woman who brought me into this world, but she proved me wrong. Way to go.
“Fuck you,” I spat back at her, rising off the floor and emptying the glass in the trash before stomping past her, not caring if she made it to her room or not. She could fall down the stairs if she wanted to. I just didn’t care.
But as I pushed my door open and slammed it behind me, I turned around to find Ashley nervously fidgeting on my bed, and knew this wasn’t just about me. My lamp cast a small glow on her freckled face and short black ponytail as she frowned down at her fingers on her lap.
Even if I wanted to push my mother out of my life and just break free from all the hassle she caused me every time I came home, I couldn’t.
I couldn’t leave my little sister to deal with the shit that I’ve had to. And therefore I couldn’t give up. I sighed and made my way over to the bed and plopped down next to her.
“Hey, dipshit,” I murmured, nudging her shoulder with mine playfully. She glanced up at me and gave me a wide smile, her freckled cheeks pushing up into her brown eyes and the dimple in her chin making an appearance.
All of the crap she had to witness and she was still capable of having that wide-ass smile.
I chuckled at her and shook my head, mussing her hair until she whined and slapped my hands away half-heartedly.
She sighed, and her lower lip jutted out slightly as she dropped her head and stared at the floor.
“Mom’s drinking again,” she whispered silently into the air, her words hanging in the atmosphere.
I sighed again and put my head in my hands, frustrated and thoroughly exhausted.
“Yeah, I know,” I groaned into my hands, as my fingers tugged on my hair lightly. “Don’t worry kid, I’ll fix it, ’K?” I reassured her, lifting my head up to meet her gaze and forcing a smile on my face. Her forehead creased; I could see the tears welling up in her eyes and it killed me to know that she was hurting and I couldn’t do anything about it. Which only made me more angry at the woman downstairs. I knew there was no way for me to fix it.
And deep down, Ashley knew it too.
I nudged her off my bed and mussed her hair up again, chuckling at her protests.
“Kaaanne . . .” she whined, trying to free herself. I snickered at her weak protest and dropped my hand from her hair.
“Go to sleep. It’s late.” I rolled my eyes at her as she flipped me the finger and giggled, dodging the pillow I threw at her, before giving me a small wave and heading out the door.
Feeling tired, powerless, frustrated and just . . . defeated, I groaned, turned off the lamp and slid under the covers of my bed. I didn’t even bother to get undressed, wanting just to forget and lose myself to those dreams.
Those dreams of her. Her gray eyes. Her voice.
I smiled to myself lazily as I let the memories of her lips against mine lull me into what I hoped finally would be a peaceful sleep.
Waking up to find my mother sprawled on the kitchen floor, her mouth open and drooling, snoring lightly, frustrated me to no end. I tried to get Ashley out the front door, but she insisted on getting some breakfast.
There was nothing I could do.
So now, I’m driving with Ashley sitting next to me, silent tears sliding down her small freckled cheeks, and quiet sniffles filling the space between us.
I was way too tired for this.
My fists clenched the wheel and I sighed. “Ashley, I didn’t want you to see Mom like that,” I murmured gently, handing her another Kleenex from the glove compartment. She snorted and took the tissue from me softly.
“What does it matter, she’s usually worse when you’re not around anyway,” she replied dryly.
I winced, now feeling guilty for not being around all the time. But I needed a break, too, right? And then I realized that Ashley couldn’t do that. How did she ever get a break? She definitely deserved one, and yet I sti
ll went out every night, getting laid as a distraction. Ashley pulled me out of my thoughts once we reached her school.
“So, umm, I guess you’ll be out again tonight, huh?” she asked softly, staring at her hands in her lap.
“Damn,” I whispered to myself, realizing that I needed to sort this stuff in my life out before I could make it better. And that meant that for now, Ashley and Mom had to be my main priority. Here I was messing around, trying to push away all the shit left behind after my dad died, but it was no use. It was starting to affect my baby sister, more than it should.
I had to take time out.
Time out from the drinking. Time out from the parties. Time out from the chicks.
But the worst of it all is that I had to take time out from her.
My girl, with her damn gray orbs, and those full red lips. Her sexy ass and her accent, and her smell that got me rock hard. I had to let it go for now. I couldn’t play around anymore.
I don’t know why but my chest tightened at the thought and I felt myself becoming heavily depressed already. I heaved a deep sigh and pinched the bridge of my nose willing myself to calm down before speaking.
“Don’t worry Ash, I’ll be there, OK?” I murmured, snapping my eyes shut, reluctant to say those words.
You have to do it, I chanted over and over in my mind, before slowly opening my eyes and looking over at Ashley. She was sporting that full grin, her eyes crinkling at the side and her full, freckled cheeks pushed up.
“Really? You’re really gonna be at home today?” she asked, her eyes shining.
I understood then that even though this sacrifice was gonna kill me, I’d do anything to see that smile, so I returned the grin, mussed her hair, and nodded my head firmly.
“Sure kid. Now get to school, before I kick your ass,” I chuckled. She scowled at me and stuck out her tongue before bouncing out of the car toward the school building.
I was regretting my words already; my head was at a firm bridge of indecision that I really didn’t want to cross.
And I hadn’t even caught sight of Suranne yet.
God knows how hard it would be when I actually spotted her. Maybe I should just go back home and force Mom to sort herself out, and hope she would listen and everything would be fixed in a day.
Kane Richards Must Die Page 4