HEADMASTER

by Jaimie Roberts

  I smile through my tears, and my vision blurs for a moment. When I manage to see a bit more clearly, Easton is smiling back at me. He kisses me gently on the lips, making me breathless. “That’s better. You have such an amazing smile.” I bite my lip, but something makes me laugh. “What?” he asks, amusement clear in his voice.

  I lean forward so I can whisper this as quietly as possible. “You said fucker inside of a church.” I start to giggle, which sets him off in turn.

  “I did, didn’t I?” I nod my head and we start to laugh together. “I wonder how many Hail Mary’s I will need to say before I’m forgiven.”

  “Oh, I think at least a hundred.”

  “A hundred?” His eyes widen making me laugh further. He looks up to Jesus again before shaking his head in amusement. “Boy, am I going to be busy.” Our giggles echo off the church walls. “Do you need another minute?” he asks, squeezing my hand again.

  I shake my head. “No, I think I’m good.” We smile at each other for a moment before I say, “Thank you.”

  “You never need to thank me, baby. It’s what I’m here for.”

  Parents’ Evening

  My nerves are shot to hell. I don’t know why considering my mum isn’t here. Just like we planned she’s at work and I am here waiting on my teacher.

  It’s been six weeks since Christmas and things are going from strength to strength with Easton. Somehow we’re managing to keep a tight lid on our relationship. Apart from that scare at the art gallery everything’s gone smoothly.

  Smoothly, that is, until today.

  I check my watch. It’s four fifteen. My appointment with my English teacher is at four twenty. I stand outside waiting in line and see a few other girls with their parents waiting outside different classrooms. Apart from the odd conversation everything is quiet.

  I get it again—that prickly feeling in the back of my neck. Someone is watching. I look around every nook and cranny I can see trying to find the source of my discomfort, but finding nothing. I’m so paranoid lately. I just get this horrible sense that things are going so good for me that something’s bound to come along and fuck it all up.

  “Sasha!” I hear my name being called and my body goes stiff. I turn around to see who it is, but I already know.

  My mum.

  My eyes widen as she approaches with a smile. “Sasha,” she says again, coming closer. A couple of girls turn to see where the ruckus is coming from. I just want to slink away somewhere and become invisible.

  “Mum, what are you doing here?” I ask, looking everywhere in the hope that Easton won’t come out. If she sees him we’re dead meat.

  “I mentioned to my boss that it was your parents’ evening today, so he let me off early. I wanted to come and show my support.”

  My heart starts racing in panic. “It wasn’t necessary.”

  “I know,” she replies, moving a strand of hair from my eye. “I just sometimes get the feeling that you’re in this alone when you’re not. You have me.”

  My panicked heart softens a little at her words. “Thanks, Mum.”

  “Sasha,” Miss Bowles shouts, snapping us from our moment. I turn to her and she spots my mum next to me. “Ah, we have Mum here today.”

  “I know I didn’t need to be, but I wanted to.” My mum smiles timidly towards Miss Bowles.

  “That’s great,” she responds. “I’m sure you’ll be keen to find out how Sasha has been doing. Please,” she says, motioning for us to join her in the classroom. “Take a seat.”

  We sit down and watch as Miss Bowles takes a seat at her desk. She looks down at some paperwork before glancing up to us with a smile.

  “Now, I want to just say beforehand that I always try and find some level of improvement that my students will need, but I must say with Sasha that’s not the case. Her attendance is excellent, her work handed in impeccable, and her attitude to the work is outstanding. I only wish I had a Sasha in all my students.”

  My mother starts laughing before looking at me with a proud expression on her face. “That’s amazing.”

  “It is,” Miss Bowles agrees.

  My face heats with embarrassment. No matter how many times I get a compliment it never fails to heat my cheeks.

  “We have been touching a lot on poetry over the last two terms and Sasha has been embracing it with enthusiasm. I’ve recently assigned her a task of writing a poem about something dear to her.”

  As soon as she told me that was my homework I knew already who I wanted to write a poem about. In fact, I have already written most of it. I’m scared to hand it in, though through fear of Easton and I being caught. It’s stupid because nowhere in the poem is Easton mentioned, but it still brings the paranoia. I seem to be paranoid about everything these days.

  “I’m working on it now,” I say, for something to say.

  Miss Bowles beams. “I’ll look forward to seeing it.” She clasps her hands in front of her before saying, “I have high expectations of you, Sasha. I think you will go far if you keep up with the hard work.”

  “That’s excellent news!” My mother shouts, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I’m so proud of you.”

  Miss Bowles smiles. “I bet you’re glad you came by now.”

  My mother eagerly nods her head. “Definitely. I’d take this over crunching boring old numbers any day.”

  They both laugh and then Miss Bowles gasps. “Oh, and I almost forgot something.” She has a gleam in her eye as she shifts through her paperwork. “You’ve yet to receive them in the post, but I already have the results of your London Board exam.” She finds the entry and looks up with a huge smile. “You got an A*. Congratulations.”

  My mum gasps, throwing her arms around me. “Oh, Sasha, I’m so proud of you!”

  For a moment all my worries of Easton are gone when I hear that news. Finally I have a certificate proving that I’ve done an exam—something I could only have wished for all that time locked up with Liam.

  Lots of happy tears and proud congratulations are shared as I thank them both. Soon after, we’re excused and the euphoria I felt is now at the back of my mind once we rise out of our chairs to leave.

  My heart’s in my mouth when we walk out of the classroom. I take a look around the courtyard and still can’t see Easton. I’m practically frogmarching my mum out of the school gates in my haste.

  I feel my breath begin to even out as we reach the school gates, but as soon as we’re near them, he emerges, exuding the commanding presence that only he can. My mother doesn’t notice at first and I think we’re going to get away with it when someone shouts his surname. My mother—knowing that’s my head teacher’s name looks up and that’s when my world spins on its axis.

  She looks at Easton, then at me, then back at Easton. She opens her mouth to say something, but at first nothing comes out. It’s like she’s connecting all the dots one by one until the obvious pattern emerges in front of her. It’s only when Easton glances our way and the look of shock is seen that I hear the sound of my mother’s voice.

  “Ray, please tell me this isn’t what I think it is.”

  I know she’s now mad and not thinking because she’s just called me by my real name. She hasn’t done that in a while. Sheepishly I turn in her direction to say something when Easton emerges in front of us.

  “Shall we go to my office?”

  My mother’s nostrils flare before saying, “Yes. Let’s. I’ll certainly look forward to hearing whatever it is you have to say.”

  My mum—even though she has no clue where she’s going—marches off leaving me and Easton to look at each other with the same nervous expressions on our faces.

  “We kind of knew this would happen,” he whispers, as we follow my mum.

  “I know,” I sigh. “Everything was going so well.”

  “We should have told her.”

  I nod my head feeling guilty about that. “I know. That’s all on me, though.”

  “No it isn’t,” Easton replies
, but I don’t get to respond to that as my mother turns to face us wondering where to go next. Easton points in the direction of his office, and she practically sprints towards it. At least she doesn’t want to cause a scene.

  Once Easton opens the door for her, she walks through and it’s only once he shuts the door she says, “You know the only reason I haven’t said anything is because my daughter would get into trouble for this too, but how could you, Easton? You’re supposed to be the adult here. My daughter’s been through enough. If she gets caught—”

  “I know,” he replies, interrupting her. “I tell myself this every day. We’ve tried to keep apart, but the more we tried, the more it seemed we were pushed together. If it wasn’t for the fact we had already met before school started then things would most probably have been different.” He sighs, running his hands through his hair. “I know there’s no excuse for this. You’re completely right thinking I should be pushing your daughter away. We did plan to stay away from each other at least until the exams—”

  “Well why haven’t you? If you truly care for my daughter this is what you will do.”

  Easton’s about to respond when I say, “Mum, please. I’m just as much at fault as Easton. I’m an adult too, remember, and that’s the only reason why we’re together. Two consenting adults who care deeply for one another and want to be together. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

  “Of course there isn’t anything wrong with it. There wasn’t anything wrong with it up until the moment he became your headmaster!” I watch as she closes her eyes before exhaling. She then sits down in the available chair opposite Easton’s desk before placing her head in her hand. “All this time I thought you were some kind of college professor when in fact you were my daughter’s headmaster.” She shakes her head without looking up.

  “I’ll stay away,” Easton offers, making us both snap our heads to him. He looks at me sheepishly. “She’s right, Sasha. If I cared enough—which I do—I would stay away until you’ve finished your exams.”

  I step closer to him. “But we’ve already tried that.”

  “I know we have,” he says soothingly, “but that was when it was still nearly eight months away. Now, there are only four. We can last four months without seeing each other, can’t we?”

  I feel the tears brimming and close my eyes. “You’re right,” I agree, admitting defeat. “Of course you’re right.” I look towards my mum who’s been quietly watching the exchange. “I’m sorry we never told you, Mum. Easton wanted to, but I told him no. I know I should have listened to him. I guess I thought things were going so well. I’ve been happy—you know I have. For the first time, I feel free and happy, and I owe it all to Easton. I guess I was selfish enough to think we could hide it completely from the rest of the world, when of course in reality it could never be that way.”

  My mother stands and at first I have no clue as to what she’s going to do next, but when she throws her arms around me and starts to cry, that’s when my own tears start to fall.

  “Oh, Sasha, when did you grow up so much?” She laughs into my shoulder setting me off as well.

  “I don’t know,” I answer, with a sniffle.

  She pulls away and wipes a tear from my cheek. “I love you—you know that. And I want nothing more than your happiness. I wish I could ignore what this is between you. Believe me, I so desperately want to, but knowing how much trouble this could get you both into …”

  “I know,” Easton says, interrupting my mum. “As much as it will pain us, we need to keep our distance. Once you’ve done your last GCSE, we can start to date officially.” Easton smiles setting my own off. I can tell it’s a sad smile and I can also tell—like me—the thought of us keeping apart for the next four months will kill us. We can barely keep our hands off of each other during the day. What on earth are we going to be like after four months?

  “Easton’s right,” my mum says, pulling me from his gaze. “You need to quash this. You’re doing so well, Sasha. Please don’t throw it all away now. You’ve worked too damn hard.”

  I nod my head, knowing she’s right, but hating the fact that she is. It’s Friday tomorrow. We had plans to spend the weekend together. In fact, we’ve been spending every available moment we have in each other’s arms. It’s worked.

  Until now.

  “I’m so sorry, Laura. I should have told you.”

  She snaps her head to Easton. “Yes. You should.”

  “Mum, please, you can’t blame all of this on Easton. It was my decision too.”

  “Yes, but Easton’s the one in the position of power. Easton’s the one who should have nipped it in the bud ages ago,” she says, sighing. “I appreciate you met before knowing what would become of you two, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that you have been seeing one another still knowing full well how much trouble you could get in if caught.”

  Easton nods his head in agreement. “There’s no excuse for my behaviour, and I’m sorry.”

  “Only sorry now that you’ve been caught.”

  Easton winces. “Please, Mum, that’s not fair. We’ve only been caught because it was me who chose not to tell you. If anyone’s to blame it’s me.”

  My mother sighs. “Whatever the reasons and who said what it doesn’t excuse the fact.” She looks at Easton. “You could lose your job. Everything you’ve been working hard to achieve all gone if this gets out.”

  He nods. “I know. I guess all that means is that your daughter means more to me than any job.”

  She closes her eyes. “I know. I can see it in your eyes that you care for her deeply. But what use are you caring for my daughter with no prospects? You’d be ruined in the teaching profession.”

  “Mum, you and I both know that money isn’t everything.”

  She nods. “Yes, money can’t buy you love, but I’ll tell you what it does buy: A roof over your head, bread and butter on the table, clothes for yourself and any kids.”

  “She’s right,” Easton cuts in. “I don’t know where we’re heading, but I’m no use to you in the future without a job. I wouldn’t feel a man unless I knew I could take care of you.”

  For the first time today I smirk up at him. “How very caveman of you.”

  He chuckles with a laugh. “My mum and dad brought me up old school. I guess it’s been inbred in me.”

  “I think anyone isn’t afraid to admit that they want to be with someone who can at least look after themselves,” my mother adds. “I guess I’m old school wanting someone who wants to look after my daughter as well as themselves.”

  “Of course you do,” Easton agrees. “Every great mother wants that for their daughter.”

  My mother nods. “That’s definitely something we can both agree on.” She sighs again, looking from me to Easton. “So, is this settled then? Keep apart until your exams are done.”

  Both Easton and I look at each other, and both give a sigh of surrender. “Yes,” we say in unison.

  My mother puts her hands up. “By all means, talk to each other on the phone. Have email sex for all I care—”

  “Mum!” I screech. Easton just laughs.

  “I’m not too old to not know what’s going on between you too. You’ve been together too long for that not to have happened. Just both keep it in your pants for four months. You can and will do it.”

  I bury my head in my hands. I can’t remember the last time I felt so embarrassed.

  “Now, if you’ll excuse us, I would like to take my daughter out for a celebratory meal. Her English teacher had nothing but praise for Sasha today, and not only that, she got an A* on her London Board exam.”

  Easton beams at me. “So I’d heard. All the teachers are impressed with Sasha. I hear them conversing on regular occasions about Sasha’s work. You’ve done so well and should be proud of yourself. Congratulations, ba—” He stops himself before he says it, but it was almost already out.

  My mum, unfazed by it, looks at me proudly before kissing my cheek. “I’
m so proud of you.”

  “Can we go now?” I ask, needing to get out of here. Too many compliments.

  My mum looks from me to Easton. “I’ll give you a couple of minutes alone.”

  My mother walks out of the door, closing it softly behind her. When she does I let out a huge sigh.

  “We both knew this could happen,” Easton begins. I nod my head. “It will be hard, but maybe knowing it’s not so long will keep us going.”

  I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around his waist. I bury my face into his chest and my heart warms when I feel his warm breath kiss the back of my head.

  “This is going to be Hell,” I muffle.

  I feel him sigh. “I know, but for you, it’s worth it. You’re worth it all and more. I would wait years if I had to. I guess until now, I’ve just been selfish—taking everything I could, knowing all the while I was getting away with it at great risk to you and to myself.”

  I lift my head up, and I unexpectedly see him smiling down at me. Lifting his hands, up he cups my cheeks and kisses me lightly on the mouth. Just that alone starts a fire inside me. I groan, and I know he knows what that means.

  “Stop,” he teases. “You know I can never resist you.”

  “Like you saying that makes me feel any better,” I chuckle.

  He kisses me again, before pulling away. “Go,” he says, pointing to the door. “Have a brilliant time out with your mum and text me once you get home. Maybe I’ll take up your mother’s offer to have phone or email sex with her daughter.”