HEADMASTER

by Jaimie Roberts

  My mum and Easton cross my mind, and my heart clenches in agony for them. What must they be going through—knowing I have been taken again? I know my mum went through Hell and back last time, and because of this sick fuck, she’s having to endure the same Hell all over again.

  I close my eyes on a sigh, and when I open them again, hot tears start to crawl down my face. I have never thought of myself as a selfish person, but right now, being in this situation, all I can think about is how my life will turn out now. More tears roll down my face when I think of the fact that I was going to be getting ready for my GCSE’s in just a couple of months. These past six months I have done nothing but work my arse off so that I could finally achieve the single most important thing—educationally speaking—that had been taken from me when I was fifteen.

  I turn around and stare at the little shack we have been holed up in since he took me this time. I fist my hands together in anger. He’s done it again. He’s won again!

  And I’m fucking letting him.

  I don’t know how many minutes go by as I just stand there feeling like I’m banging my head against a brick wall before Liam finally emerges with our bags in tow. One by one, he places the bags into his beat up old Landrover before opening the passenger door and turning to me. “Ray,” he says expectantly, motioning towards the seat with his hand. At first, I can’t move. I see that seat as my ticket to Hell. My breathing spikes, and my heart starts to hammer against my chest. My hands start to feel clammy, and my body starts to tremble.

  “Ray,” he utters again, but this time there is more urgency and frustration in his voice. “We have to go. Now. We haven’t much time.”

  “Much time till what exactly?”

  He starts shaking his head. “I don’t fucking know. Call it a sixth sense. I’ve lived here long enough now to feel that something in the air has shifted. I just know that we have to get going.” As if hearing a noise, his head snaps towards the forest. His eyes are wide, and they begin darting all over the place. I can sense the reason for his feeling that something is out there, but I can’t put my finger on what or why.

  “Ray, for fuck’s sake, get in the damn car!”

  I’m jolted back by his sudden outburst. I’ve always known Liam to be such a cool, collected person, but not now. Something’s changed. My skin prickles at the danger, but my body—sensing that danger—jumps instantly to get inside the car. Despite the dread and uncertainty I go willingly. For now, it’s all I can do.

  One thing at a time.

  Despite my fraught nerves I will them down. I have to be stronger than this. If I break down then it may cause Liam to act drastically in response. I need him to be his usual calm self. Right now I sense he’s anything but.

  “Seatbelt,” he barks as he quickly gets in and does the same. I can’t stop watching him as I do as he says. I sense I am witnessing a man at his wit’s end. The paranoia and obvious fear bouncing off of him are making me take stock. He’s always had an incredible knack for making me feel the same emotions as he does. It’s difficult not to when they are so … intense.

  Liam’s eyes quickly dart to my seatbelt and once he’s satisfied we’re in order he starts the car. With every second my fear and dread move up that little bit more. The V8 engine roars to life as Liam steps on the accelerator. We jerk forward on the rough terrain, and I feel every bounce and bump as we move along the pathway through the forest. With every mile, my stomach rolls that little bit more. My face flames and my muscles stiffen as every emotion you can think of cycles through me. They’re bouncing around inside of me just as violently as the car is jarring my body as we move through the rough patches.

  With every passing minute, I can see Liam’s own body become more and more stiff. His eyes are focused on the road, intently looking for any signs that someone may jump out at us. His jaw is ticking, and his hands grip the steering wheel so tightly that I can see the whites of his knuckles.

  My eyes flit back to the road ahead, but I can’t see what Liam obviously senses. I have both positive and negative thoughts of what this all could mean as I stare into nothing but forest. Nothing but trees and branches and bumpy roads.

  And then I see it—the reason for Liam’s obvious anxiety. He was right when he said he felt something had changed in the air. He was right to have that sixth sense of his crawling up that perverted spine of his. The reason? Police are everywhere. And aside from police, there are regular people. Lots of people either looking like walkers with their sticks or news reporters with cameras.

  Sensing a car coming, most aim in our direction. That’s when Liam comes to a screeching halt.

  “Fuck!” he screams, immediately putting the car in reverse.

  Then all hell breaks loose. The car goes careening backwards as all the people start running towards us. Police immediately dart in their cars while shouting and screaming at everyone to stay where they are. News reporters go racing with their cameras pointing it in our direction. My heart hammers. Liam spits out one explicit word after another before violently turning the car around and putting it in Drive. He races back from where we came, but this time he must be doing it at stupid miles an hour. The car jolts and bumps violently as we make it about three miles down the road before a police car suddenly pulls out in front of us. Liam’s car screeches to a halt, the police get out of the car and shout at Liam to open the car door. I look from the police officers to Liam. He’s sweating, his breathing is laboured, and his hands are still gripping the steering wheel tightly. I can see from the determined look in his eyes that he’s trying to think ever so quickly about what to do next, and then I see when he makes the decision as he steps his foot on the pedal and we violently lurch forward. Liam snaps the steering wheel to the right, bumping into the police car’s front bumper with an almighty crunch. The Landrover makes a noise as if it’s groaning in displeasure and protesting its use as a battering ram.

  “Liam, what are you doing? This is suicide.”

  “Shut the fuck up!” he seethes, gritting his teeth in determination. He must know there’s no way out, but he’s fighting with everything he has right up until the last minute.

  We’re on the move again, but this time Liam finds a different path and decides to turn down that one instead. I look behind and see at least three police cars tailing us as we bump and grind along the uneven road. My arse is seriously sore, but at the moment I don’t care. Adrenaline like nothing I have ever felt before comes crashing through me like a violent tidal wave. What Liam is doing is nothing short of madness, but he’s determined to see it through until the very last minute.

  The road starts to open and knowing the police cars will try and overtake, Liam swerves violently left, then right, then left again. I feel when we’re hit. Liam loses control for a split second before he rights himself. The battle for control on both sides commences. I’m gripping the door handle with all my might. We’re going too fast—dangerously fast for this terrain—but Liam doesn’t seem to care. He’s focused straight ahead, and sweat is dripping down his face.

  Up ahead, another police car hurtles towards us. Liam looks in his mirrors but can see that we’re trapped in a sandwich. He has nowhere else to go. I feel the moment when my heart starts to beat through joy that this will all be over soon, when Liam suddenly swerves right, moving up another dirt pathway off the main drag we were on. My heart beats, but this time it’s with fear. All I can hear are the roar of car engines racing to somehow make this all end. The car hits something in the road and it momentarily jolts us in the air before landing with a thud. My breath catches and my brain feels loose in my head. We motor on and it feels like an age before suddenly one of the police cars hits us from the side causing us to swerve right into a tree. The car crashes with a big thud, the impact impaling me against my seatbelt. I have this fleeting moment of gratefulness that Liam shouted at me to put the damn thing on before I see Liam frantically trying to undo his belt.

  “Ray, come on!” he shouts, but it’s n
o use. The police are right there surrounding the car. One by one, they raise their tasers, shouting at Liam to raise his hands in the air. I see the moment he knows his time is up when his shoulders sag in defeat. He turns to me then—his face looking towards me in desperation.

  “I only ever wanted you to love me.”

  I swallow hard as tears threaten to flood my eyes. For that split second, my heart jolts in my chest, and an emotion I haven’t felt for this man in a very long time comes racing to the surface.

  Empathy.

  How on earth I can feel anything but disgust for this man is beyond any reasoning. He took me, lied to me, and made me feel things I should never have felt for him. When I realise all of this, my disgust comes back quickly. This time, however, it isn’t directed at him. I am disgusted with myself.

  While the police are shouting outside, Liam just stares at me. A single tear eventually escapes, and he watches it fall with a smile. I see it then. He feels a sense of triumph at the realisation that he’s made my emotions respond to him yet again.

  “You have the power to make this go away, Ray. You can tell them you came with me willingly. Maybe they’ll be lenient, and then I’ll only serve a short sentence. You can wait for me, and eventually we will be together. We would be able to start fresh. No hiding. No running. Just you and me together like we were always meant be.”

  Closing my eyes, I shake my head. I don’t want to listen to him anymore. “Please stop.” I can feel the anger bubbling inside me. Gone is that empathy now that he’s used it against me. Again he’s being manipulative, trying to use my own emotions against me. “I don’t want this.” I open my eyes again and lock them with his. “I don’t. Want. This.”

  I see the moment he realises that he hasn’t won this battle. His own eyes widen before slinking back in his chair. That’s when the police swoop in opening both car doors at the same time. Liam is yanked away and I watch as he spits, violently flailing his arms and legs around. I see them all move to him. Three, then four, until eventually it takes five police officers to subdue him to the ground.

  “You’re safe now, love,” the police officer unhooking my seatbelt says. I turn to face him, a sympathetic smile on his lips. “Are you okay, Sasha? You’re not injured anywhere?” I shake my head. “Your mum and boyfriend will be pleased to see you. They’ve been frantic with worry.”

  All remaining colour drains from my face. My mum. Easton. Just as I think about them, I hear my name being called from afar. As I step out of the car, I search the sound of the voice to see both my mum and Easton running towards me. Both of them are screaming my name and racing towards me. I notice Easton looks exactly how I feel. Bedraggled, exhausted, and mentally drained. My mum doesn’t look too hot either. I can tell by her puffy eyes that she’s been going through hell.

  It’s in that moment that I curse that man for ever making me do all the things he has coerced me to do over the past two days. Guilt washes over me when I think about all that I’ve put Mum through all in the name of love. I never asked for this, but I also had a choice and I chose to make my mum suffer again.

  I’m a really bad person.

  I don’t think I can ever forgive myself for that. I had never even contemplated all this when I was with Liam. All I ever thought about was my position and saving Easton.

  I’m the worst daughter in the world.

  My mother rushes towards me throwing her arms around me and breaks down sobbing. It’s then my own dam breaks. “I’m so sorry, Mum.”

  She squeezes me in tightly to her. “Don’t you dare apologise for what that man has done. Ever.”

  I grip my eyes shut and force the remaining tears out. When I open them, Easton is waiting patiently for me and my mum to finish hugging. When she pulls away he steps forward and for a brief moment I forget that Liam is right behind us. He brings me into his arms and I inhale a big deep breath taking in his scent. He smells of man, he smells of comfort and of joy.

  He smells of home.

  “Don’t fucking point that camera at me! Point it at him! He’s Ray’s headmaster! All the time he was supposed to be teaching her, and they’ve been fucking instead!”

  My stomach drops when I hear all the disgusting things that Liam’s saying. I turn and sure enough the news cameras are there lapping up every single thing he’s just said. Cameras go crazy, frantically taking pictures of me and Easton embracing. The police try their hardest to push them back, but they’re like vultures.

  “Ray, is it true that he’s your headmaster?”

  “Ray, how long has this been going on?”

  “Ray, does your mum know you’ve been having an affair with your head teacher?”

  “Ray, do you dress up in your school uniform for him?”

  Feeling nauseous by all the sickening questions, I frantically look up to the police officer who helped me out of the car. “Please get me out of here?”

  His lips form a hard line as he glares at all the reporters who are still firing questions. “It would be my pleasure.”

  He leads us to a police car and all the while Easton hasn’t let go of me. Despite everything that’s going on and the repercussions this all represents, he holds still, keeping me by his side.

  Once we’re in the car, my mother grips my hand and Easton let’s me cradle my head in his neck. I want this all to go away. None of us asked for this.

  “I’m so sorry,” I whisper into his neck as the car pulls away.

  I feel Easton flinch beneath me. “What on earth have you got to be sorry about?”

  I pull away and when I look I’m glad we’re on the road and there are no more press. “He said he’d do this to you. He warned me that if I didn’t go with him he’d tell the world that you and I were having an affair.”

  “Jesus, Sasha, do you really think I give a shit about that? I resigned two days ago anyway.”

  My eyes widen. “You did what?”

  He sighs. “I was sick of making you feel like you were a dirty little secret that needed to be hidden, so I resigned. I would rather take another job somewhere else and openly be able to date you without fear of repercussion.”

  “But it’s too late now anyway. It’s out, and now your career is ruined. You will never be able to teach again, and for what?!”

  “For love, Sasha. I did it for love.”

  My anger is immediately shut down in flames by Easton’s confession. I stare up at him, tears welling in my eyes and for a moment I don’t feel anything but love in return. I do love this man. I’m in love with him.

  But, and there is always that nasty but. It doesn’t take away the fact that I aided in destroying his career. Everyone tried to warn me this would happen and I ignored every single one of them. I just know that the guilt will eat away at me for a long time to come.

  Aftermath

  Upon bringing me home, I receive strict instructions to come down to the police station as soon as I can to give my official statement. As soon as the door closes behind them, Easton sits beside me on the sofa as my mum busies herself in the kitchen with making me a cup of tea. She’s been very quiet. In fact, we all have. I think we can all sense the impending storm which is destined to destroy everything in its path. The phone calls have already started, and each call is the same. Reporters all want to get my “juicy” story firsthand. On the third call, my mum simply pulls the wire out of the phone socket. While that has silenced the ringing, it hasn’t stopped the knocks on the door or the especially intrusive journalists who are constantly trying to manoeuvre themselves at different angles, hoping to catch a glimpse of us all together. In the end, my mum’s had to shut the curtains and lock all of the windows and doors. We’re officially trapped in our own home. Again, Liam has won. But then, he always does when it comes to me.

  “This is probably a very stupid question, but how are you feeling?”

  I turn to Easton who has his hand clamped over mine like he’s afraid I’ll somehow disappear.

  “I’ve felt be
tter,” I admit.

  “I can see it in your eyes, Sasha. The guilt. Please don’t feel guilty about what’s happening. We both went in this together knowing the consequences. I’ll be fine. It’s you I’m worried about. I’ve already had an email from the school board asking me to attend a meeting tomorrow morning. I promise I’ll do my best to make sure you don’t get affected in all of this.”

  I start shaking my head. “Your career is ruined because of me.”

  I feel him squeeze my hand. “Please stop this. I didn’t much like the job anyway.”

  He offers me a smile like he means it, but I know it’s not true. He did enjoy teaching. I could see it in his face every day at school.

  “Tea,” my mum sings as she places the tray onto the coffee table in front of us.

  I smile up at her. “Thanks, Mum.”

  After everything’s placed she sits down on a sigh and cups her hands together. “I’m so glad we got you home. If it wasn’t for Easton …”

  I look towards Easton. “What happened?”

  Easton smiles and pulls me in, placing an arm around me. “I got my brother to help trace you using CCTV. It took a while, but we managed to find the car and track it until it vanished in the Kielder Forest area. That’s when we concluded you must be in there somewhere.”

  “He didn’t stop for those whole two days,” my mother continues. My eyes dart from Easton to my mum to find her smiling at Easton. It’s in that moment I realise they must have been together the whole time, trying to find me. Despite what’s happened previously, she no longer feels any animosity towards him. As of now, he has become—and will always be—the man who rescued her daughter.

  “He didn’t hurt you, did he? Please say he never hurt you,” my mum begs, and I can’t miss the slight tremble in her voice.