Relinquish

by M. N. Forgy

  I nod in agreement and look back at the gorillas.

  “They have programs where they can teach them how to survive on their own, don’t they?” I ask.

  Landon nods. “Yes, they do, and I’ve called a few people. I’m waiting for a call back is all.”

  I smile.

  Jaheem is leaning over and pressing his lips to Ebele, who is smiling and communicating with him. I can’t help but laugh. I catch Landon staring at me from the corner of my eye. I bite my bottom lip and turn, finding him still staring at me. A look of endearment crosses his face as his upper lip curls into a smirk.

  “What?” I ask, trying to get a handle on my giggling.

  “You. That laugh, it’s…” He pauses, swipes his tongue across his lips, and looks back at the gorillas. “It’s something else.” My cheeks heat, as does the rest of my body. My heart, once cold and questionably dead, is warming and growing with need. The worst part is it’s because of Landon, who has the potential to rip it from my chest and make it to where I’m dead to anyone following his footsteps.

  Looking back at Jaheem and Ebele, he has her cradled in his lap, still trying to kiss her. They look so lost in one another, and I’m jealous. I want that.

  “They seem to have it all figured it out,” I mutter weakly.

  “What?” Landon grabs the bars, his hands brushing against mine and causing a tingle to spread to my toes. I don’t move my hand, just leave it next to his and take my gaze toward him. He looks at me as if he might feel the same pull I do.

  “Love.”

  Landon’s face softens, his eyes holding a fire behind them as he stares at me. I watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows and turns his head back to the primates, his profile hardening and jaw clenching.

  “There is no such thing as love. Not here,” he rasps. “Love is an amateur term to diagnose one’s affection for another. In reality, we’re all animals, and that so-called love is just us wanting to reproduce. To fuck. Love has nothing to do with it.”

  I sigh heavily. At one time, I would’ve said Landon was right, but I’m not so sure anymore. There’s a difference between the throbbing between your legs and the longing in your chest.

  “I refuse to believe that,” I whisper.

  Landon’s head whips in my direction and he smirks. “Oh, yeah? Are you one of those ‘love fixes everything’ kind of girls?” he jokes.

  I laugh. “No, quite the opposite actually. I’m just talking about those old couples who sit on the porch and hold hands throughout the day. Or a husband who sits by his wife’s grave day after day after losing her from some terrible incident. They don’t need to fuck. They care about each other. They love each other.”

  Landon worries his bottom lip between his teeth as he sucks in a breath. His eyes narrow in a way I’ve never seen before. Almost like he’s confused, yet intrigued.

  “Well, I’ve never seen it.”

  SIXTEEN

  LANDON

  I pour myself another scotch and sit in my chair. I’m… confused, but that word doesn’t even come close to what I’m feeling. Tormented, depraved, outraged. I feel insane from all the mixed emotions cocooning themselves in my head and chest.

  “Do you know what Father and Veronica were just talking about?” Roman flies through my office door, his hair disheveled and, of course, his shirt is untucked.

  “No, what?” I ask, uninterested, but I know he’s going to tell me anyway. Might as well amuse him.

  “You and Charlie. Father says you’re taking interest in this escort and he doesn’t like it. Veronica said it was all Charlie, that she’s some whore seeking love. I- I—” Roman stutters, pacing my floors frantically. Roman is afraid of our father. Miller was a very powerful man at one time, well-respected around Vegas. I once was scared, too, but then I grew up and realized my father is just some old man. He’s served his term and is dead-weight now.

  “Let them believe whatever they want. Harron shouldn’t have touched Charlie. I was doing my job,” I defend, downing the rest of my drink. There are cameras in a few places of the estate, one being the dining room with all the fine china we have in there. I saw how he was talking to her, and it was pissing me off. But when the hall cameras showed Harron grabbing onto her like that, I lost all control.

  “You fucking punched him, Landon. Are you kidding me right now?”

  I swirl my drink, lost in the amber color.

  “Are you listening to me?” Roman slams his hands on my desk, grabbing my attention and angering me. I set my drink down and clench my jaw.

  “You tell Father that I was doing my job, which is protecting the escorts. The women come first. If it weren’t for them, this place wouldn’t be here,” I seethe, my teeth gritted. When my father was sitting in this chair, the simple principle of making the women come first was never in his line of sight. I aim to redeem that.

  Roman chuckles, the sound of his laugh a mockery to my anger.

  “Have you given her any clients?” Roman crosses his arms and stares at me.

  “She’s in training.” I exhale an irritated breath.

  “You should be working her a list of potential clients.” Roman runs his hand through his hair and chuckles.

  “She’s not ready,” I reply.

  “She looks ready, Landon,” Roman insists, nodding for emphasis.

  “I’ve seen girls come through here for years, Roman. They all have this dead look to them, their eyes don’t shine, and their smiles don’t quite reach their eyes. They’ll do anything you ask of them, and don’t react in any way to the manner you speak to them.”

  “But?” Roman interrupts. I take my eyes from my empty scotch glass and look at Roman.

  “But when I look at Charlie, really look at her, she’s not quite dead inside.”

  “You better get her there, and quick. I destroyed the files of the men Father had follow you. Nobody will be able to place Charlie. But Landon, I can only do so much before you blow your own fucking house down.” Roman shakes his head and leaves, slamming the door behind him.

  I let out a large breath and turn in my chair, looking out at the landscaping. It could be said that I hate my father. I didn’t always hate him, though. Leaving my mother to die alone was the turning point in our father/son relationship. He was shitty to my mother for years before that, but nothing compared to him deserting her when she needed him the most. She was diagnosed with aggressive cancer five years ago, and because he couldn’t bear her chemo, to watch her body die a little day by day, he sent her to California. Put her in a house with some doctors to die alone. I visited every weekend, but it was only Roman and I who ever went to see her.

  Two weeks after my mother’s funeral, my father moved Tara in with her slutty daughter Veronica. He met Tara at a fundraiser for cancer, funny enough. Disgust builds in my chest thinking about how he banked off my mother’s illness, when in reality he was wishing she’d just die already. My mother passed away not long after her diagnosis.

  I haven’t left this estate because of a promise I gave my mother, and Charlie stands in the way of that promise. It’s conflicting. I want Charlie, but I can’t break my only promise to my mother. I need to get Charlie clients, and it’s going to kill what’s left of me to do so.

  CHARLIE

  I slip out of bed and tiptoe toward my door. It’s late and everyone should be asleep by now, giving me the perfect opportunity to find some answers. I open my door and slowly close it, hoping not to make any noise. I look up and down the hall before I resume my mission toward Landon’s office. I’m not sure what I’m looking for, but I need something. Every expensive painting, every closed door, it all leads to secrets. I can feel it.

  I scamper down the stairs and head to Landon’s office. I don’t notice any lights on under the door so I open it, finding it empty. Running to his desk, I start opening drawers, my palms sweating nervously. I find paperwork on other escorts and their earnings. My eyes turn as wide as saucers seeing some woman named Clarity ma
de ten thousand just last week, and that isn’t even the highest number I’ve come across on the chart. I close it and open the next drawer, finding a gun. I gasp and stare at it. My legs begin to tremble, and my mouth parts. Why does he have a gun? I’ve never seen a gun before. I slowly close it and open the last drawer, containing receipts, menus for takeout, and a map.

  I loll my head back and sigh. What was I thinking? That Landon would just hide all of the estate’s dirty secrets right here in his unlocked desk? I slam the drawer shut angrily, wincing at the noise it causes. My back begins to sweat with nerves, scared the loud bang caused unwanted attention. I run out of the office, up the stairs and back to my room, my heart racing faster and faster with every step. As soon as I make it into my room, I shut the door and slide against the back of it till my bottom hits the floor, my body heaving for air.

  I got nothing. I clench my hands in my hair. Landon having a gun goes to show this place is not as top-notch as he makes it seem.

  ***

  “Time to wake up, Charlie.” A blossoming warmth ignites in my chest as the deep voice wakes me. I roll over, a small smile across my face as I open my eyes and find Landon hovering over me with a smirk. My face falls, and I groan in irritation.

  “I got you a client for tonight. You need to train today.”

  “A client?” I ask, sitting up.

  “I have someone who needs a female appearance tonight at a gala. Therefore, you will need to learn to dance.” Landon sits at the end of the bed, adjusting his blue tie. He looks so big sitting at the foot of the bed, it makes me feel small. The smell of him is so alluring, I’m forced to clench my legs. Luckily, they’re under the blanket so he can’t see them and call me out on it.

  “So, I’m arm candy?” I twist my face in question.

  “Yes. No sex. Now, find a beautiful dress and meet me in the ballroom.” Landon stands with a panty-dropping smile. I sag in relief, glad I’m not sleeping with anyone for money. A small, naïve piece inside me is hoping Landon is taking his time training me on purpose. I know that same small piece is what’s going to get me hurt in the end, too.

  “Wait, meet you?” I ask in shock.

  “Considering my last trainer had his nose broken, yes, you will be training with me.” Landon turns and rests both hands behind his neck, a devious grin across his face as he leaves.

  My God, he’s going to be the end of me.

  ***

  I slide a white dress down my frame, the bottom of it skirting around my ankles with a small, brown braided belt secured around my waist. I flip open some boxes, find a pair of heels that match the color of the belt, and slip them on. The smell of new shoes is amazing. I never knew shoes even had a brand new smell. I head toward the door when the phone rings, making me jump and grab my chest in panic.

  “Shit,” I mutter, taking the phone from the night stand and answering it.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey!” Jayden greets.

  “Hey, how are you?” I question, a smile on my face. It feels so good to hear her voice. It’s only been a few days, but I miss her.

  “I’m doing good.” Jayden’s voice cracks with emotion.

  “How’s everything going?” I ask, sitting down on the bed.

  “Good, I guess. You?”

  I sigh, looking at the door, thinking of Landon and my place at the estate.

  “I’m trying to settle in,” I mutter. I am trying, but it can be difficult. My emotions for Landon interfere with the reality of my situation.

  “I woke to some men in suits delivering me a beautiful short green dress and an invite to the Blackwell Estate for a party tonight. It was from Landon,” Jayden informs. My mouth parts in surprise at the information. The gala! It’s here, and I get to see Jayden. It’s acts like this that tell me he’s not the bad guy he wants everyone to think he is.

  “I’m asking Mick for the night off. I just hope he lets me,” Jayden mutters.

  “Oh, you have to come, I haven’t seen you in forever,” I beg, my face scrunched while I plead.

  Jayden giggles. “I’ll see what I can do,” she promises.

  “Yes! I can’t wait,” I cheer, nearly bouncing on the mattress.

  “Besides, a dress this gorgeous needs to be worn at least once,” Jayden whispers.

  “How is everything at Mick’s?”

  “Eh, I’m still working the motel, but it’s all right. I was up all night, so I’m tired as hell.” She yawns into the phone for emphasis.

  “I’ll let you go then. It was good to hear from you, though.” I smile but hate to hang up.

  “See you tonight, babe,” Jayden mumbles.

  “See you tonight. Go get some sleep,” I laugh, hanging up.

  I make my way toward the staircase and find Jean the housekeeper dusting some paintings along the wall.

  “Um, Jean?” I murmur.

  “Charlie! You look beautiful, darling,” Jean lights up when she sees me, making me grin.

  “Thank you, Jean. Can you direct me to the ballroom?” I ask. I have no idea where it is, and I know if I go looking for it, I’ll get lost for sure.

  “Of course.” She steps down from her ladder and heads down the stairs, taking her time with each step.

  “I have so much to do before the big party,” Jean pants, watching her step. “Everyone will be here. It’s so exciting.”

  I give a smile as she rambles about. As she hits the last step, she exhales a big breath.

  “This way, miss,” Jean directs, turning right. She waddles over to a double wooden door and turns.

  “Here you are,” she pants before walking off toward the stairs. That poor lady is going to have a stroke with those steps. I look back at the doors and take a deep breath, preparing myself for what mood Landon will be in. Will he be the arrogant master of the estate today, or will his mask be lifted and the caring, passionate Landon be present?

  I lightly press on the doors and they both swing open, revealing a large, empty ballroom. The floor is tiled with blue marble, and there are windows and French doors along the walls, allowing sunlight in. My eyes shoot upward to stare at the largest chandelier I’ve seen at the estate yet, its sparkles bouncing off the blue and white floor.

  “There you are.” I tear my gaze from the crystal lights and find Landon strutting toward me, his dark hair shifting as he walks with confidence. Those forest eyes pin me where I stand, causing me to suck in a tight breath. I look down at myself, feeling a little insecure from the hunger in his eyes.

  “I love that dress on you. Wear it tonight,” Landon requests, now standing in front of me. I blink rapidly, my train of thought fleeing. The dark scruff on his cheeks is thicker than before, like he forgot to shave. My fingers twitch with the urge to run them over his jaw.

  “Now, do you have any experience with dancing?” Landon reaches out, brushing a stray hair behind my ear. I swallow hard. Looks like we’re the caring Landon today.

  “No,” I respond, shaking my head.

  “Take your shoes off.” Landon juts his chin toward my feet.

  I look down at my heels, a little confused, and back up at him, finding him walking toward a stereo built into the wall.

  “Take them off,” Landon repeats, his tone serious. He’s not even looking at me; he just knows I’m not listening. I roll my eyes and do as he says, kicking them off as Landon messes with a stereo.

  I pad along the floor as I make my way to the middle of the ballroom. He pulls his suit jacket off and tosses it on the floor, leaving him in just his dress shirt, which he’s rolling up the cuffs on.

  “I’ll teach you the basic box step. You can use it pretty much anywhere.” I just nod, because I have no idea what he is talking about. The speakers crack, and Joe Strummer and The Mescaleros sing “Mondo Bongo”.

  Landon lowers his head, his eyes peering up under his lashes, and holds his arm out crooking his finger for me to come to him.

  “Come here, Charlie,” he demands, his voice husky. My ey
es go heavy with desire, and my feet move on their own accord, walking toward him.

  “Step forward on your left foot.” Landon steps forward, and I follow. “Then step to the side with your right foot.” I watch him and imitate his move. “Now, bring your feet together,” Landon instructs. “Good, now step back on your right, and then to the side using your left foot.” I do as I’m told and look at Landon for confirmation that I did it correctly. “Just like that. Now, bring your feet together and repeat the steps. You just did a box step.” Landon smirks, doing the dance all in one move. I smile and practice the steps.

  “Who taught you how to dance?” I ask. Landon’s eyes furrow, and his cheeks clench with tension.

  “My mother,” he mutters. By the look on his face, I can tell something bad happened to her, so I don’t question where she is.

  “Now, place your arm on my shoulder and cup my hand,” Landon coaches, grabbing me by the hips and bringing me to him. My palm tingles, being held by his so strongly, my cheeks heating from just the simple touch. “This time, try the box step using your tiptoes and let me lead,” Landon tells me, taking the leading step.

  “My tiptoes?” I look down at my feet.

  “Yes, it will prepare you for actually dancing in high heels.” Landon chuckles.

  “Oh.” I giggle and my cheeks flush.

  “Look at me. Keep your chin up,” Landon requests. I take my gaze from his shoes to his eyes, and my heart skips a beat. The way his eyes shine and look right through me captivates me. Lost in our own world, not daring to look away, I wonder what it would be like if Landon and I met at a different time. If things would be easier for us, or more difficult. If he could fully love me, and I him.

  “What about you? Where is your mom?” Landon asks, dancing me along the ballroom floor. I nearly trip over my feet at his question, causing me to look down.

  “Eyes up.” I lift my eyes and exhale a large breath.