My Forever (Our Forever Book 3)

by Elena Matthews

  “Hi,” I manage to say before swallowing. “It’s so good to hear your voice,” I tell her, my own voice quivering a little.

  “What’s wrong? Is it Olivia?”

  The pressure in my chest tightens at the mention of Olivia. I ignore both of her questions and ask one of my own, “Um, when you invited me to spend Christmas Day with you and your family, does that still stand?”

  “Yes, of course it does!” she responds immediately, not missing a beat.

  “Thanks. Today is a bad day, and I need you to do what you always do.”

  “And what’s that?” she asks carefully, slowly.

  “To make the pain disappear,” I croak out as suffocating emotion begins to claw up my throat.

  “Shit, Chase,” she whispers, agony laced in her words. “Whatever you need, I’m here for you. Do you need me to pick you up?”

  I shake my head. “No, I’m already in my car. I need to head to my place to change. I’m only in jeans and a sweatshirt, not exactly Christmas attire.”

  “There’s no need to change. The Christmases in this household are as laid-back as they can get. I’m only in leggings and a Christmas sweater. Your attire is perfect. I’ll text you the address, okay?”

  Once we disconnect, my phone buzzes with a text message. I put the address into the built-in GPS, and I make the twenty-minute car journey to her parents’. She’s already standing outside the door when I pull up, no doubt the sound of the harsh roar from my car clueing her in for my arrival. My breath halts when I step out of my car and take her in.

  Holy fuck.

  She’s so beautiful. Her brunette hair falls effortlessly down her shoulders in waves, her face shimmering with the tiniest hint of makeup, her lips a pretty shade of red. She’s wearing black sequin leggings and an oversized burgundy sweater that reads in white, I’m only a morning person, and then in gold, on December 25th. My lips pull up in the barest of smiles, knowing exactly how much of a morning person she is. My eyes finally land on her feet, and I love the Rudolph socks she’s wearing.

  I walk toward her, and without any thought, I pull her into my arms and bury my face into her neck. My eyes flutter closed when her hands come up to my hair, and her fingers caress through the strands. I breathe deeply, and her scent of citrus fruits invades my nostrils in the best way possible. The tightness across my chest begins to ease the longer I’m in her arms, and I know coming here was the best decision. This is the first time we’ve been this intimate—at least, while I’ve been conscious, that is—and I’m afraid, now that I’ve experienced what it’s like to feel her in my arms, it’s going to be harder to let go, especially when I can’t have her in the way I crave. I eventually pull back, and as I anticipate her letting me go, she surprises me by placing her hands against my face, her thumbs stroking my cheeks. The heat of her fingers sear into me, keeping me grounded. Her expressive eyes lock on to mine, and it’s as if she can see into my very soul. They ask a silent question, telling me to open up to her and I do. I tear open my bloody heart, splaying it out in front of me with both hands.

  “She’s dying. The doctors are going to continue giving her medical treatment for another four weeks, and then, once they deliver the baby, they’re going to take her off life support, stop her feeding tubes. They’re going to let her die.”

  Kaelyn closes her eyes, her face grimacing with pain. “Chase,” she whispers before connecting her eyes back to mine, “I am so sorry.”

  My eyes blur with unshed tears, and I shake my head with determination not to let them fall. Not yet. Not until it’s all over.

  “I had to get out of there. Kennedy, Olivia’s sister, is back there, building a Santa’s cave in hopes that it will wake her up. She won’t accept what the doctors have told her, but it’s been six months and not a single improvement. Now, I have four weeks to work shit out, get my house prepared for the baby, make arrangements…and I’ve no idea where to start. I’m a businessman, CEO of a charity, but with this…it’s impossible.”

  My eyes begin to blur again, and I slam my eyes shut with frustration. “Shit, fucking tears,” I bite out.

  I feel a single tear escape, and I open my eyes to see Kaelyn catch the tear with the caress of her thumb.

  “Shh, it’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not. She doesn’t deserve my tears; she doesn’t deserve my turmoil. But, before she was my wife, she was my best friend, and it just … it fucking hurts.”

  “I know it does. I know it hurts.”

  I allow my eyes to close and take a long inhale, breathing in Kaelyn’s smell, her calm filling deep into my lungs before exhaling, feeling my shoulders relax. “God, you smell so good.” I let the words slip.

  The quiet gasp that comes from Kaelyn has me cracking one eye open, and I’m not going to deny it; seeing her cheeks flush pink with my words alone makes me feel things I shouldn’t feel, but I do regardless.

  I open both eyes and stare down at her, tightly gripping her against her tiny waist. “You’re the only one who eases this hurt, especially when you look and smell like an angel.” I wipe at my wet eyes with my hand. “I have a lot to deal with, but today, all I want to do is forget, eat, and enjoy a few cold ones. I’m so hungry; I haven’t eaten anything proper since our impromptu BBQ. It feels like I’m wasting away as we speak.”

  “Well, we can’t have that, can we?” she teases a little, pulling away with the prettiest smile on her face.

  She holds out her hand, and I immediately take it. Her hand in my mine feels perfect.

  She’s perfect.

  “Dinner’s nearly ready actually. Are you ready to come in, or do you need a minute?”

  I squeeze her hand and shake my head. “Nah, I’m good.”

  “I’ve told my brothers not to be their usual asshole selves, but they’re kind of excited we’re having hockey royalty joining us for Christmas dinner.”

  I snort at her mention of hockey royalty. Yeah, right.

  “So, you might have to answer a few questions about your life as a hotshot hockey player. Is that okay?”

  “Hotshot, huh?” I say with my first easy chuckle of the day. She just grins. “I don’t mind. Do they know about Olivia?”

  She shakes her head. “Oh God, no. I mean, I’ve told both Jo and my mom that you’re dealing with a lot, but I haven’t explained what. You swore me to secrecy, and though I have a pretty bad track record with secret-keeping, this is something I’ll take to the grave, if I need to.” The promise in her eyes tells me she means it.

  “Thank you. It means a lot, but you can tell them. I mean, now that I know how final things are, I can’t keep this a secret anymore. Once I’ve got my head on straight, I’m going to put out a press release. I don’t want to keep hiding.”

  “Regardless though, it’s none of their business. If you want to tell them, then it’s up to you, but they won’t hear it from me. Come on,” she tells me with a smile that takes my breath away.

  She leads me inside. The instant I step over the threshold, the smell of what I always thought Christmas would smell like hits my nostrils. It’s a hint of cinnamon, ginger, and peppermint. Then, the further we enter, the smell of baked ham, sage, stuffing, and beef takes over the sweetness, and my stomach rumbles out loud.

  Kaelyn looks up at me and giggles. “Wow, you weren’t kidding about wasting away, huh?”

  “I thought I was managing until I got a whiff of that smell coming from the kitchen.”

  “Come on, I might be able to swipe you a bread roll before dinner is served.” She winks before pulling me further until we enter the kitchen.

  She finally lets go of my hand when three sets of eyes land on us, and I dislike how cold my hand feels without her touch.

  “Everyone, this is Chase—”

  Before she can get another word in, a guy, whom I’m assuming is one of her brothers, stands from his seat, looking at me in utter amazement.

  “Holy shit. When she said Chase Henderson was joining us for dinner
, I thought she was kidding.” He approaches and holds his hand out to me. I take it, and we shake. “I’m Nate. I’m a huge fan of yours. Where the hell have you been, man? As soon as you retired, you just vanished into thin air.” He takes a quick glance at Kaelyn and starts sniggering. “Although it’s pretty obvious where you were.” His eyes bore into Kaelyn’s. “Why didn’t you tell me you were dating a Dallas Stars hockey player?” He says the words hockey player an octave higher, unable to contain his excitement.

  Fanboys. They’re the best.

  I just laugh as Kaelyn’s cheeks turn the same burgundy red as her sweater.

  “Um, we’re not. We’re not dating, numbnuts. We’re just friends,” she says a little nervously, pulling at the ends of her sleeves.

  So fucking cute.

  “Yeah, and I’m the President of the United States,” he deadpans.

  Another guy, dressed in a police uniform, who looks identical to Nate, sidles up beside him. I’m guessing it’s his twin, Logan.

  “Just ignore him; he’s hyped up on too many sugar cookies. I’m Logan. It’s nice to meet you.” He shakes my hand before pointing in the direction of the refrigerator. “Do you want a beer?”

  This guy is my fucking hero.

  “I would love one, thanks,” I reply, my mouth salivating at the very thought of a beer.

  “Sure thing. Coming right up.” He smiles and heads to the fridge.

  I go to turn to Kaelyn when I’m suddenly being enveloped into a hug. When I’m released, I look down to a woman who has to be at least thirty-five years Kaelyn’s senior, but honestly, she’s so young; they could be mistaken as sisters.

  “Honey, it’s so good to finally meet you. I’m Kaelyn’s mom, Lyn. I’ve heard so much about you.”

  I take a side-glance at Kaelyn with an eyebrow raised at that statement, and she just rolls her eyes.

  “I hope you’re hungry. I have plenty of food to go around.”

  I look around the kitchen that’s filled with so much food that, quite honestly, I’m not even sure how an army could get through it, let alone eight people.

  “I’m starved, ma’am, and I have to say, it smells incredible in here. Thank you for having me. It’s been a while since I’ve eaten a home-cooked meal.”

  “It’s my pleasure. And enough of the ma’am, it makes me sound like a grandmother, and since none of my children have given me grandbabies yet, I’m going to make the most of pretending I’m still in my thirties.”

  She winks, and I laugh. I’ve only been in her presence for less than thirty seconds, and already, I wish she were my mom. She just has a warmth that radiates from her, much like her daughter. Logan hands me a beer, and I nod my thanks to him.

  I take my first sip, and though it’s not my chosen beer, it’s like the best thing I’ve ever tasted. I definitely needed this.

  “Dinner’s almost ready. Kaelyn, why don’t you give Chase a tour of the man cave while I finish up?”

  “Are you sure you don’t want any help?” I offer, setting my beer down on the countertop, already beginning to roll up my sleeves.

  “You’re so sweet for offering, but I’ve got everything handled. You’re a guest, and guests in this house don’t lift a finger. Just relax.” She smiles before turning her back on me and doing whatever moms do in the kitchen on Christmas Day.

  I take hold of my beer and turn to follow Kaelyn back out of the kitchen.

  “So, what’s this about a man cave?” I ask as she leads me toward a basement door.

  She smirks. “According to my brothers and my dad, it’s the happiest place in the world.”

  I follow her down a set of stairs until we enter the kind of man cave I’ve always dreamed about. I let out a long whistle at the magnitude of this dreamland. I’m not surprised her dad and brothers call it the happiest place in the world. It has everything a guy could ever possibly want. A flat screen showing ESPN, state-of-the-art surround sound speakers, badass La-Z-Boy chairs, a corner sofa, a full-length bar in the corner, pool table, and poker table. The best thing though—and my mind is kind of blown that I haven’t thought of doing this—is the football field carpet that stretches the entire floor space. My eyes continue taking in the room in absolute awe.

  I’m admiring the Cowboys jerseys hung along the walls when I hear Kaelyn giggle, and that’s when I notice a body standing in front of me. I blink, and from the pictures I’ve seen at her place, I recognize it’s her dad. Kaelyn obviously introduced me to him, and I zoned out like a fanboy.

  “Chase, this is my dad, George.”

  “I’m so sorry, sir. I was too busy salivating over your man cave. This place is impressive.”

  He lets out a deep chuckle as I shake his hand.

  “Pff, this is nothing.” He shrugs off. “You’re the one who has his own ice rink. Now, that’s impressive.”

  I smile, but it feels a little forced. As someone who has been in the spotlight for over a decade, compliments are always thrown back into my face by my own fame and fortune, like I’m somehow better than them, and I hate that people feel the need to put themselves down like that. I’m no worse or better than anyone else. I’m grateful for the house I live in, the clothes on my back, the money in the bank because I’ve worked hard for it, and if anything, I’m paying the ultimate price for it. Fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

  Kaelyn must sense my discomfort because she quickly introduces me to her two other brothers in a teasing tone, “And these are my two other dipshit brothers, Blake”—she points to the guy on the left, holding a pool cue, before pointing to the guy beside him, who, unlike his smiley brother Blake, is staring daggers at me—“and Jace,” she finishes.

  “Hey, it’s nice to meet you,” I tell Blake with a shake of my hand before returning my attention to Jace’s cold stare. “Nice name, Jace,” I say with a snigger since our names are so similar, holding my hand to shake his.

  He just stares at my hand in distaste, leaving me hanging. I look down at my hand to see if it’s smeared with dog shit when my stomach drops at the sight of my wedding ring glinting under the spotlights.

  Shit. I forgot I had it on.

  I haven’t worn it in a while, not since I got the divorce papers on the day when my life went from bad to catastrophic, but this morning, I guess you could say I was feeling nostalgic. I just wanted to feel close to Olivia and was allowing myself the weak moment of pretending we were still happily married and that, instead of her dying, she was alive and the person she had been before the heroin took over. We were spending Christmas like we used to do, dinner for two and a Christmas movie marathon. I was pretending until reality came crashing down on me earlier today.

  I didn’t plan on ever wearing it in front of Kaelyn, but with my meltdown and the urgency just to see her and be in her presence, I forgot I was wearing it.

  I know we’re not together, and I shouldn’t care that I’m wearing it in company, but Nate already made the assumption that I was nailing his sister, so I’m guessing Jace is thinking the same thing. It looks bad from afar, and I’m guessing that’s why he’s looking at me like I’m a piece of shit.

  “Jace,” Kaelyn hisses, giving him the stink eye at his blatant rudeness.

  I would understand if we were together and he was giving me a hard time, but this is more than that. He obviously thinks I’m a happily married guy, having his cake and eating it, too. God, I would do anything to be with Kaelyn. She’s all I can think about. She’s the air I breathe, the reason I’m able to get through another excruciating day, but until I get my life in order and I’ve grieved for the woman who still owns half of my heart, our relationship has to stay in the friend zone. The person I am now isn’t able to give Kaelyn all the things she deserves, and a woman like Kaelyn shouldn’t settle for anything less.

  She deserves the world, and so far, I’ve only been able to show her a city.

  I know I told Kaelyn that she could tell her family, but now that I’m here, the last thing I want to
discuss is my living nightmare. So, let him think what he wants to think.

  He finally lets his hard exterior dissolve. He gives out a tight smile, but it’s anything but genuine. “Nice to meet you,” he tells me, but he doesn’t offer to shake my hand.

  I glance to Kaelyn and see she’s still glaring at her brother. I find it odd because, after everything she told me about her brothers, it’s Jace she’s closest to. I guess he’s just being protective. I understand that. If I had any brothers or sisters, there’s no doubt I’d be like that, too.

  “So, Chase,” George begins, “I know you’re a hockey guy, but you’re also a Texan, so what football team do you support?”

  “There’s only one team, and that’s the Cowboys.”

  He smiles wide and pats me on the back. “Hell yeah, there’s only one team.”

  And, with that, I’ve defused the tension.

  “Well, make yourself at home, son. In fact, I was just watching you on a highlight reel. ESPN is showing some of the best puck goals, and you managed to make number four.”

  “Number four, huh?” I smile as I take a seat on the sofa. “What game was that?”

  He thinks for a moment before Blake answers, falling back into one of the La-Z-Boy chairs, “It was from your rookie season, against the Bruins. Man, you were on fire!”

  I take a pull of my beer before giving a nod of my head. “Yeah, I remember that game. I was still a kid back then. I had more energy than I knew what to do with.”

  “The Dallas Stars sucked donkey balls before you came on the scene, and then, overnight, you actually started winning them games,” Blake says.

  “Yeah,” George chimes in, “you were impressive. It’s a shame you retired. You were one of the best that team had ever seen. Ten years later, and you were still killing it.”

  I move the kink in my neck and chuckle. “I would love to play forever, but a body can only handle so many injuries before it’s time to call it quits.”

  “You went out with one hell of a bang though,” Blake interjects as Kaelyn leans over the back of the sofa beside me, and the sweet smell of her perfume has my head spinning. “Kaelyn, did you see how Chase stole the Stanley Cup? They were down by one point, and in comes your boy, swooping across the ice faster than Superman. The other team tried to snatch the puck from Parker, but with a quick sweep, he passed that puck to Henderson, and—boom—he smacks the puck straight into the goal. God, I’m getting hard, just thinking about it.”