The Commanders' Mate

by Grace Goodwin

  And with that surety came peace. I felt it now, and I focused on that feeling, willing Kaed to take what he needed from me.

  “Are you well, mate?” he asked, the entire bridge crew froze as if holding their collective breath for my answer.

  I held his gaze and nodded. “I am well, Commander. I just wanted to update you that all of the passengers are comfortable and well taken care of.”

  “Excellent.” He inclined his head and I felt his gratitude pour into me, his relief that I was not going to ask him what was tearing him up inside. Not now.

  “Do you all need anything here?” Kaed’s emotional turmoil calmed and I filled my heart with love. Peace. Acceptance. This was the life I had chosen. He was the mate I had chosen. No matter what happened next, whether we all died in the next hour, or lived another hundred years, I did not regret that choice.

  The support crew declined, ignoring me, returning their attention to the battle. As they should. Seth titled his head and motioned for me to join him as he headed back to check on his children.

  “Very well.” I turned, leaving my mate with a smile I hoped would make him understand. But dealing with the battle, the crew and the threat to Ronan was an emotional struggle I could not fight for him.

  The door slid closed behind us and I turned on my heel just as Seth’s hand came down on my shoulder, a very human move. No Prillon would touch me this way, but I was grateful for the human comfort. “You did well in there.”

  “Thanks.”

  He stopped me in my tracks and gently turned me to face him. “Erica. Listen to me. You did well.”

  I pasted on a smile and straightened my shoulders. “Yeah? Well, someone very smart told me that being left behind was harder than fighting.”

  “I did.” He squeezed gently and let me go. “And now you know.”

  “Now, I know.” And I did. Ronan was fighting. Kaed was fighting. I had to be strong, trust them and do my job. I was Lady freaking Karter, these were my people, my mates, and my ship.

  14

  Ronan

  * * *

  The countdown in the corner of my visor fed adrenaline to every muscle in my body as I jumped and clawed my way up out of the crater of the Hive ship. Twenty-seven seconds until I was incinerated.

  At least it would be quick.

  Flying in, the depth had not seemed too great. Crawling out, and in a space suit? Every foot felt like fifty as I worked my way up the wall.

  The toe picks in my suit kept me from falling, but there was almost nothing to hold onto, and I did not want to use my rocket pack, not with the Hive ship patrolling directly over my head. Being shot with an ion blast from a Hive fighter was not preferable to being incinerated by a bomb blast. Dead was dead. At least with the bomb, I’d take the Hive ship, or most of it, with me. If they saw me, they might figure out a way to get my fighter clear of their ship before the bombs went off.

  Small chance with only twenty-seven… no, twenty-four seconds to go, but not impossible. I’d hide. And wait. And burn, if I had to.

  The curve of the walls surrounding the weapon’s basin were concave, so the ship couldn’t see me if they looked straight down. At least not for about three more seconds.

  The next jump would take me to the ledge… if I could hold on.

  “Damn it, Ronan. What the fuck are you doing down there? Picking daisies?” I had no idea what a daisy was, nor why I would be picking it, but I appreciated the concern behind Chloe’s question more than the words.

  I leaped, caught the ledge, but my left hand lost its grip. Feet dangling, I scrambled for purchase on the ship’s surface. There was none.

  “You know me, picking daisies is my thing.” Hanging on by my fingertips, I rotated slowly until my left hand was back on the edge. My sigh of relief was not an act. Fuck, that was close. Four fingertips away from slamming back down into the middle of that crater. I’d never make it back up here in time.

  “Not funny, Ronan. Get your ass out of there.”

  “Working on it.”

  “Work faster.” Her command made me chuckle. Earth females. I would just imagine her with Seth and Dorian, ordering them around when they were all naked.

  I actually laughed at the thought as I pulled myself up, over the rim of the crater one agonizing inch at a time. Dorian? Maybe. He was a fierce warrior, but his softness for his family was the stuff of legend on the Karter.

  But Seth Mills? The human.

  No. I imagined that if Commander Chloe Phan tried to order that warrior around, she’d be bent naked over their bed, her bottom bright pink as he fucked her into submission.

  The image faded instantly, replaced by a visual of me and Kaed with Erica. Our mate would be leaning over our bed, ass raised. Kaed would take her pussy and get her in the perfect position for me. She would scream and milk Kaed’s cock with her pussy as I filled her ass, made her come over and over again, her tight heat surrounding me until I couldn’t take it anymore.

  “Commander Wothar, this is the Karter. Are you well? Your suit’s biofeed is going off the charts.”

  “I’m fine.” Leave it to me. Near death, about to be blown to bits? I feel nothing. The thought of filling Erica’s virgin ass with my cock? My body races, setting off medical alarms in the suit.

  That just meant Erica was more powerful than death. At least for me.

  Rising to my hands and knees, I waited for the Hive fighter to fly over one more time. The second it was past me, I pushed off with my legs, running across the outer hull of the Hive ship, trying to get away from the mouth of the cavern before the bomb went off. The stealth suit I wore would help me blend in with the ship’s surface, the exterior changing color to match the ship’s material, but it did nothing to block shadows, or heat sensors.

  The countdown sensor was at six. Five. Four.

  I pushed off, launching myself into deep space as I activated the suit’s propulsion pack.

  Two.

  One.

  The explosion roared over me and it was like being hit by a battleship made of fire. The blast knocked me into a spin, thrusting me into space so fast my body was pressed hard into the suit. Too hard.

  I felt two ribs crack and prayed they wouldn’t puncture my lungs. Or my heart. I just had to hang on. Survive.

  Get back to Erica and her curved body, her softness, her heat. To Kaed. To my family. The pressure built inside the suit, as did the heat. The flesh on my back burned, despite the suit’s protection. I lost consciousness, fading in and out, fighting to stay awake.

  It could have been five minutes, could have been five hours. I had lost all sense of time.

  “Commander Wothar, this is the Karter. Do you copy?”

  “I hear you.” My voice sounded like cracking rocks, but I could talk. Thank the gods.

  “Commander Wothar, this is the Karter. I repeat, do you copy?”

  “This is Ronan. Come get me.”

  “Ronan, this is Kaed. Do you hear me?” He sounded… upset. Shaken.

  What did I miss? Had we somehow lost?

  “Is Erica well? Safe?” That was the only thing that could push Kaed to the brink like this.

  “Ronan? Gods be damned. Ronan? Do you hear me? Answer me!”

  Kaed? Why was he using the comms in such an informal manner? “Calm down, Kaed. I’m fine. Just a little singed. Think I broke some ribs.” I tried to twist around, find out if the Hive ship had been completely destroyed, or just seriously damaged, but I couldn’t change course. My propulsion unit did not respond and this was space. I had nothing to anchor to, nothing to use as leverage to change directions. Fuck.

  “I have a problem, Kaed. Suit propulsion is damaged.” Fuck. Were my comms out? My transponder signal?

  “Searching grid seven. No sign of him on sensors.” That was a Prillon warrior whose voice I did not recognize.

  “Damn it. Keep looking,” Chloe ordered. “Grid five clear. Moving to grid eight.”

  “Copy that. Grid four clear. Moving t
o nine.” Dorian Kanakar’s voice made me grin. My friends were out here, looking for me. They just couldn’t see me.

  At least, not with their sensors.

  “Got movement. Grid eight.” Chloe sounded excited, but I couldn’t hear anything outside the suit, so I had no idea if a ship was approaching.

  “I don’t see anything.” The first voice again.

  “Look with your eyes, warrior, not your sensors.” A ship came to a stop in front of me, hovering in space, and in the cockpit, Chloe smiled as we made eye contact. I tapped my helmet so she’d know I didn’t have comms. “Battleship Karter, this is Commander Phan. I have a visual on Commander Wothar. He’s alive, but his comms and suit propulsion are fried.”

  “Thank the gods. Ronan, get your ass back to the Karter.” Commander Karter gave the order, and I had no desire to disobey.

  Chloe’s ship pulled in close and a laser sight locked onto my chest seconds before a towline shot from the ship and attached to my suit. The hit rattled my ribs and hurt like hell, but nothing—except Erica’s sweet pussy—had ever felt so damn good. Chloe’s smile was brighter than any star as she pulled me in. “I’m taking you home, you crazy bastard. And you can tell Erica that I found you dead center in the middle of her gift box constellation, so I guess you’re what she’s getting for her birthday.”

  Not one word of that made sense, but I didn’t care, collapsing in relief on the floor of the small fighter as Chloe closed the airlock behind me. “I have him. Everyone not on clean-up, let’s go.”

  I pulled my helmet off, eager to breathe something new, something that didn’t smell burned. “Thanks, Chloe.”

  The vid screen above my head lit up and Chloe’s face filled the small display. “You’re welcome.”

  “Did we destroy it?” I needed to know. Was Erica safe? Karter? The rest of the crew? The people from the Varsten? So many lives on the line, and this was just on the front lines. If one of those things made it inside Coalition controlled space, the destruction would be catastrophic.

  “You killed it, Warrior. I don’t know where you got that fancy ship of yours—which means I’m going to have a nice, long chat with I.C. command when I get back—but whatever explosive ordnance you were carrying blew that Hive ship into bite-sized charcoal. Incinerated. It’s like half the ship turned to ash and the other half is floating junk, every circuit and power system fried.”

  “How many did we lose?” I’d heard the battle, knew the fighters had taken some hits.

  “Twelve.”

  I sighed. Twelve warriors, gone. Just like that. War was evil, and I was tired of dancing in her arms. “It’s too many.”

  “It could have been worse, and we both know it.” Her voice softened. “You okay? How badly are you hurt?”

  “Few busted ribs. A bit singed. Nothing a good ReGen wand won’t fix.”

  “Thank god. I could not deal with Erica if I’d let anything happen to you.”

  I didn’t argue and we traveled the rest of the way back to the Karter in companionable silence.

  I drifted to sleep, vaguely aware of Chloe going through landing procedures and flight checks before entering the Karter’s landing bay. The sounds of cheering and celebration woke me seconds before the airlock door that separated the pilot from the back of her ship opened and Chloe was standing over me with a grin on her face. “You want to greet your adoring fans flat on your back?”

  What?

  Hell no.

  I struggled to stand and she helped me, pulling just hard enough to help me up without destroying my last shred of dignity. “Thanks, Chloe. You saved my life.”

  She squeezed my hand and placed her other on the airlock door controls. “You saved all of us.”

  One swipe and the door opened. Outside, a crowd had gathered. When they saw me, a deafening roar went up. Children screamed and clapped from where they sat atop their fathers’ shoulders. Females beamed and their warrior mates held up a raised fist in a warrior’s silent salute.

  I’d gone from anonymous, dead both inside and out, to this.

  Smiling with joy, tears streaming down her face, my mate stood at the very front of the crowd next to Kaed, both of them watching with pride in their eyes as I walked down the small ramp to join them on the ground. I stood, facing my mate, the connection between our collars intense and magnified now that she and Kaed were close to me.

  I staggered into Kaed, who caught me without anyone noticing.

  “Fucking unbelievable, isn’t it?” he whispered to me. I didn’t know how he was still standing under the onslaught of Erica’s emotions.

  Love. So fucking strong and hot and right that I could not breathe with the force of it.

  Hurting, slow, I pulled Erica into my arms and held her. Nothing had ever felt so right as Kaed’s arms encircled us both. This was everything I’d fought for. Everything I’d killed for.

  Just, everything.

  The crowd closed around us, Chloe holding Christopher as her mates and daughter surrounded her, everyone singing an ancient Prillon warriors’ song at the top of their lungs, one usually reserved for drunken revelry after a particularly tough and bloody battle. It was a song about honor and sacrifice and family, and for the first time in my life, tears clogged my eyes as I sang the words. For the first time in my life, I knew what those words meant.

  15

  Karter, Battleship Karter, Personal Quarters

  * * *

  We were alone with Erica. Finally. I had to be the first Prillon to ever have a mating ceremony—albeit modified—in the midst of a battle with the Hive. I’d always believed that when the time came, I’d stake my claim on my mate in public Now, I had no intention of fucking her in front of the others.

  But thinking about it in the hypothetical sense was nothing compared to having a real female I cared about, stripping her bare and letting everyone see not only her body but her pleasure… no fucking way.

  Erica was mine. She wanted to be mine. Didn’t want to have a formal claiming. I’d thought it might have been shyness. Yet with Ronan and I, she was insatiable and sexy. But when the collar was about her neck and I felt her emotions, her thoughts… fears, dreams, arousal, fears, passions, I’d known instantly I’d been right.

  Our mate wanted her primary and second only. No one else. Her devotion and desire were solely for us. They always had been, even before we knew she was ours. She’d embraced the match wholeheartedly… literally with her whole heart, from the second the testing on Earth was complete. She’d trusted in it so intensely that she left everything she knew for mates halfway across the galaxy.

  And that trust was like a delicate Prillon flower, something to covet and protect, admire and nurture. With anything Prillon, the flower was sturdier than it looked. It could withstand strong wind, horrible weather and survive.

  Erica’s trust was enduring and gods, we’d put it through some tests. Sensing the depth of her feelings for me and Ronan, I now realized how much of an idiot I’d been. I should have collared her the second she’d transported onto the Varsten. Made her mine immediately, for I was the lucky one to have her. To be her mate. To be her primary.

  I looked to Ronan, finally cleaned up and healed after what seemed like days but was only a few hours. The ReGen wand had worked its magic, healing his ribs and the burns along his back quickly and efficiently. Eager to join us in bed, he’d been in and out of the shower in record time.

  Now, he held her hand as he led her into the bedroom of our quarters. He’d just come from a mission, from blowing up the most destructive Hive weapon yet, and he looked at peace. Happy.

  Not just looked it, felt it. I sensed all of the stress and intensity of the past few hours were gone. He’d agreed we carried too much with us. Too much responsibility. But here, in this room with Erica, it all slipped away.

  Her joy, her pleasure in just being with us, made it all slip away.

  She eased our burdens, gave us hope and joy.

  The Hive weren’t defe
ated, and I wondered if they would be in my lifetime, but we’d won a battle and we’d celebrate the success.

  We’d celebrate that we were alive.

  Erica turned and faced Ronan, tipped her chin up to look at him, to smile. He slipped the straps of the brown dress from her shoulders, let it slide to the floor and pool at her feet.

  I felt their arousal, Ronan’s pleasure at seeing our mate’s beautiful, lush body. Erica’s at being bared, at being needed. And yet I felt something missing. An emptiness.

  They turned their gazes toward me. I realized then, it was me.

  I was what they needed, what completed them.

  Undoing my holster, I let it, along with my ion pistol, drop to the floor. We were off duty. The entire battlegroup was safe and under the control of Bard. The only place I was indispensable was here, with Ronan and Erica.

  She held her hand out, reaching for me. I closed the distance between us, took it and lifted it to my lips. “What do you think of the collar?”

  Instead of answering, she closed her eyes. I felt her answer. Happiness. Blindingly bright. So intense I’d never felt anything like it. Was this what Chloe and her mates felt? What Prime Nial had with Jessica?

  I kissed her knuckles again. “Mate, I have been blind. Stupid. This… what we share, is worth fighting for. Worth living for. Together. I am sorry for wanting you elsewhere, however my need to keep you safe will always vie with this need to have you by my side.”

  “I understand. I will not be weak, Kaed. I promise you.”

  I shook my head. “You were right, Lady Karter, you made me stronger today, not weaker. You are my strength.”

  “And mine,” Ronan added, sliding his hand down her arm to her waist, then back up to cup a breast.

  She gasped and I felt the rush of pleasure through the collar. The bloom of dominance from Ronan.