Piercing The Fold

by Kimball, Venessa

“Jesca, push back. You have done this before. You have this powerful force within you. Wield that power; use your energy.”

  I push back as I have always done in this nightmare. I am praying to God under my breath.

  “Create a shield of white light around you, Jes. Imagine a white powerful light surrounding you.”

  I focus my entire mind on drawing this shield around myself. I feel this force of light reverberating off of me, molding around me. I sweep my arms to the right, then the left. The dark shifts away at my every move. I head up the stairs slowly.

  It’s working. The pull isn’t as strong now. I am breaking its hold on me.

  In an instant, I am in my parents’ room.

  The terrible scene. My mother convulsing on the ground, struggling to remain herself. My father praying over her, tears and anguish on his face.

  “Encircle your parents within your shield. Surround the three of you.”

  I whisper, “I don’t think I can.” I feel like I am sinking against the door.

  The voice is at my ear now and more forceful than before. “Yes, you can. You have the strength. Now do it!”

  I shiver at the sternness of the voice and the lingering feeling of the warm breath on my ear. I close my eyes, walk toward my parents, and focus on spreading the energy from within myself around my mother, father, and I.

  All of a sudden, the chaos becomes silent. My eyes shoot open, fearful that I have done something very wrong. My parents are looking at me, faces contorting into terrible, monster-like beings. Their eyes are jet black with no whites to them; they don’t look human. Their expressions are full of hate, anger, and a yearning to attack me. I am their prey. My heart and stomach begin to twist and burn with fear. I feel my focus slipping.

  The voice comes again. “Don’t, Jes. Don’t let your energy slip away. You need to save them. The dark entity is pulling at your fear. Take it on.”

  I lean in to my mom first. She looks like she is going to attack me, but I don’t back down. I close my eyes.

  Dear God, save me.

  I feel the white-hot energy spill from me onto her. I grab hold of my father by his shoulder. I press them both against me. My shield is encircling us. I open my eyes and see my mom’s face as her own.

  Her eyes are filled with tears. She mouths to me, “You did it, Jes.”

  My father’s holding on to my mother and me.

  He says, “We’re safe. You are safe, Jes.”

  The powerful shelter I created is still radiating from us. I can feel that the dark presence is still pushing against me.

  Why is it not backing off?

  The voice responds to my thought. “It is waiting for our weakness to show. Any sign of it and it will attack again. Your energy is still strong. Now imagine yourself turning up the energy slowly, building it inside you until you feel like you need to let it burst from within you.”

  I whisper, “How the heck do I do that?”

  “Your mind, Jes, can do so much more than you are aware of. Just do as I am telling you. Your mind will know what to do.”

  I shut my eyes and feel heat bouncing from me to my parents.

  That must be the energy radiating from me.

  I breathe in, imagining I am taking in the energy around me from everything, the earth, all of it.

  The voice confirms my actions. “Yes, that is it. You’ve got it.”

  I feel the air around me. It feels intensely electrified. The warmth of the energy is pure, electrifying energy. I open my eyes to see what effect it is having around me. The energy is a pulsating wave moving around us in time with my racing pulse. Every pulse I feel a wave of pure energy roll around me, my parents, and the darkness. My pulse quickens out of fear of what is happening.

  I’m doing this?

  The energy synchronizes with my pulse instantly. I quicken my pulse with determination now.

  I’m doing this!

  The energy waves roll over the room in a consistent hypnotic flow; quicker and quicker until there is a silent flash every second: flash, flash, flash. The darkness falls back as the strength of my energy drowns it. I don’t move from my mother and father. We are holding on to each other. All I hear is our breathing.

  Chapter 5

  I wake breathing fiercely, and my heart feels like it is pounding out of my chest. I am unable to move, though.

  Damn it, sleep paralysis.

  I lie there and try to recollect the dream step by step before it slips away. I am physically exhausted even though everything happened in my sleep.

  I quickly shift my thoughts to the voice, my guide. The voice was so strong and protective. I felt safe for the first time in there, remembering the words that this comforting voice gave to steer me through my nightmare to save my family.

  My family!

  I look at the clock, 5:30 a.m. I am able to move my arm very slowly if I concentrate on it. The numbness is fading quicker this time.

  I pick up the phone even though it may be too early to call. I need to talk with them. The nightmare is still so fresh, so intense in my mind. I need my parents to separate the ethereal and reality that are intermingling in my mind.

  Dad picks up on the first ring. “Jes. Is everything okay?”

  I answer quickly, “Everything is fine. I just wanted to hear you. Are you guys okay?”

  I hear Mom in the background. “Is she okay?”

  I answer before Dad has the chance to relay her message. “Yes. It was the nightmare. This time it was different. I made it through. I can’t really explain it all. But I saved you and Mom. I know this sounds crazy, but I think it was a test.”

  I hear Dad walking as he listens.

  “Dad? What are you doing?”

  Dad is speaking to someone else, not Mom. I hear muffled voices as if he is covering the receiver.

  That makes me anxious.

  “Dad? What is going on over there?”

  Dad quickly uncovers the receiver. “Jes? Sorry, um, Mom was answering the door.”

  I wait for Dad to elaborate, but he doesn’t. I’m irritated by his unwillingness to give me an explanation.

  “At 5:30 in the morning? Who is it?”

  Dad dodges my question. “Hey, do you think you could come over for breakfast before you head into work. We, uh, need to talk about something.”

  Dad quickly adds, “Everything is fine. We just need to talk about some decisions we are making.”

  Wearily, I agree. “Sure. I’ll be over in a couple of hours. I go in to work at noon today.”

  There is a silence between us. In the background I hear rustling and other voices. I can’t help but pry. “Are you sure everything is all right over there? Do you want me to come over now?”

  “No. Just take your time, honey. We are just getting up and about. We have a friend that just popped in. So we have catching up to do before you get here. Take your time.” He sounds more himself now, which brings relief to my flighty emotions. We say our goodbyes and hang up.

  A friend at 5:30 in the morning?

  I crawl back into bed. I can’t help but wonder who the friend is and why he or she is over at the house so early in the morning.

  I close my eyes, still tired from the active dream state I was in for most of the night. I felt so strong and in control of myself and everything around me. I think about the terrible nightmares and hallucinations. The people that I have encountered over the past week. How the dreams have become more intense, severe, spontaneous, and chaotic almost. Somehow, I was able to find stability and control in the chaos.

  The guide’s voice helped me.

  The comforting feeling comes over me again. I feel empowered and confident for the first time in a long time. Maybe I will be able to sleep now that I have this energy within me to protect myself. I’m curious if this ability, this energy within, will bleed into my waking hours just as the visions and hallucinations have found their way into my reality.

  The ability to hear even the smallest whisper found its
way in. The speed I possessed in the woods found its way into my reality as well. The humming sound and vibration around my body, like a shield warning me of impending danger, has found its way in. What if I have unlocked a part of my mind that has been hibernating, until now.

  What has awakened this inside of me?

  I fade back into sleep.

  Chapter 6

  I head over to Mom and Dad’s around 12:30. Mom and Dad got me a blue 2001 Mazda CRV on my 16th birthday. I remember being so excited. I had just gotten my license; that was a liberating moment. My car is reliable, practical, nothing fancy or sporty. I only use it to get to Mom and Dad’s and when the weather is beyond wind and light drizzle.

  I turn on the radio. The national news fills the car’s speakers. I am partially listening just to have some background noise as I drive. The news is riddled with global warming theories, upcoming elections, living green eco tips, earthquakes, tsunamis, unstable weather conditions setting unprecedented records this decade. I turn it off before I make it to the turn onto my street. So much is happening lately. Or maybe I was just more aware of the events in the news.

  Why the awareness now?

  I arrive on my street, and immediately the anxiousness turns to a dull burning, starting in my head to my heart, then stomach. It is like that burning sensation you get when something scares you to the core.

  Damn, I hate this feeling!

  My dad says it is called the flight or fight reflex.

  The vibration in my head, my body, starts. I take some deep breaths as I pull into our drive.

  Chapter 7

  The first shock—a sign in my yard reading FOR SALE in red letters. The second shock—a plaque of even bigger red letters lies diagonally over the previous red letters stating SOLD.

  The third shock—the Wise Guys moving trucks being loaded by four burly men dressed in navy blue jumpsuits.

  I feel vertigo and clammy. I storm from the car and run past two men moving a desk out of the house. I don’t bother excusing myself as I push past and through the front door.

  I holler, “Mom! Dad!”

  Boxes line the entryway. No response, just silence.

  I yell louder, “Mom!”

  I begin to walk from room to room. As I pass, I see boxes and plastic wrap on furniture. I head to the master bedroom. Dad is removing the bedding, and two movers squeeze past me, with a lamp in one hand and a pillow in the other.

  I look at my father, dumbfounded. “What is going on, Dad?”

  His face is so serious.

  Mom comes out of the closet. “Jes. Honey, I know this is a little shocking…”

  Sarcastically, I respond, “Just a little, Mom. Where are you going? When did all of this happen?”

  Dad and Mom both look at each other. Then they look at me. They approach me and lead me out of the master bedroom toward the living room.

  Dad starts, “Jes, Mom and I decided a few months ago that we were ready for a simpler and smaller life. We are going to be empty nesters soon, with Bethany going away for college next year. We don’t need this huge house anymore. We decided that Colorado is a great place for us to retire.”

  Dad looks at Mom for reassurance. Mom’s smile is small. She continues, “So we put the house on the market, and a week later, we had a contract on it. The couple who bought the house are moving in next week and are expecting their second child in May. This house is perfect for them. We’re sorry you had to find out like this, honey. We just haven’t found the right time to tell you, with all the stress you have been dealing with.”

  Dad adds, “The lack of sleep, nightmares, school, job, all of your responsibilities…we didn’t want to throw in something else for you to worry about.”

  The vertigo feeling subsides. But the humming is still audible.

  Something is off, not right.

  I try to force myself to believe. “It’s fine. I just wish you guys would have warned me. I thought you were getting divorced or something worse like…”

  Dad jumps in. “No, no, sweetheart. We are so happy to make this move. We think that we have been hovering too much over both you and Bethany lately.”

  Dad looks to Mom. Mom adds, “Dad and I need to find ourselves again. Enjoy each other and travel. We have found the cutest little condo that will allow us to travel and not have to worry about home maintenance.”

  Wow. I mean, I did want my mom and dad to back off a bit with the hovering, but I didn’t think they would pick up and move.

  “What about Bethany? What is she going to do for the rest of her senior year?”

  Mom and Dad look at each other again.

  “Bethany will be staying with the Sanford’s, Serena’s family, for the remainder of her senior year. She will spend the summer with us before attending college at the University of Colorado. She already applied and was accepted. She won’t be staying with us; she will need her space to spread her wings.”

  I am floored. My parents are allowing my sister to stay with a family for the rest of her senior year? My parents had really changed. How long had I been out of the loop with them?

  And Bethany, she didn’t clue me in to any of this. Well, I hadn’t taken the initiative of picking up the phone to call my little sister either, so I couldn’t shift the blame entirely on her. She is probably pissed at me for being so distant. And I completely understand if she is.

  “Sweetheart, why do you look so sad?”

  “Well, I am a little sad about the house. I mean, we have lived here all of Bethany’s and my life. I’m going to miss this place.” I clear my throat. “But I’m so excited for you guys. You are finally living a life for you two. You have dedicated your lives to raising Bethany and me. It is your time to live now.”

  I give a brief smile through my welled up eyes and quivering lips.

  Dad and Mom both smile and hug me.

  A gruff voice from behind us interrupts our moment. “Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Sera. We have all of the items that are going into storage. We will be back Tuesday of next week to move you folks to Boulder.”

  I take that moment to clear the air. I wipe my tears and force a laugh. “It’s not like you’ll be in another country. We’ll see each other on holidays and stuff.” This was true and pretty much how often we were seeing each other now. So it wouldn’t be very different from life as we knew it.

  Dad adds, “It seems like things are coming together for you, Jesca. Last night’s breakthrough with your nightmare is a huge step.”

  “Yeah, things are coming together. I’m really doing much better.”

  Even though the slight humming is still present, I give my parents a smile to reassure them that I am fine.

  My parents have a few loose ends to tie up with the movers, so I excuse myself. I tell them I will be stopping by on moving day to see them off. Then, realization kicks in. Everything is coming together for me at the exact same time my family is moving apart. How is that a good thing?

  Something is off balance.

  It’s like that feeling you get before lightning strikes. My smile turns to a stiff lip of wonder at the coincidence as I walk away from my home.

  Chapter 8

  The cliché cowbell rings as I enter Benson’s to start my shift.

  Elisha looks up and sarcastically says, “Hey there. What’s up with you?”

  I reply sarcastically, “Well, hello to you, too.” I roll my eyes, as does Elisha. We both have a brief scowl of annoyance that quickly fades into coy smiles. That’s just how it is between us.

  Elisha follows me to the back room, where I set down my things.

  “Seriously, Jes, what’s up? You look different.”

  I look up at Elisha and sigh. “Well, my parents have sold their house and are moving across the country.”

  Elisha’s eyes bulge. “What? When did all of this happen? What about Bethany finishing high school? Is she going with them? God, I thought my parents would have been the first to do something like this. Why didn’t they tell
you?”

  I shake my head in agreement. “I know, right!”

  I sit down on the stool nearest her. “I’m happy for them, though.”

  “Really, or are you just saying that?”

  I look at Elisha, waiting for her to elaborate. She catches on.

  “I mean, don’t you think that is bizarre. Your parents have been overly worried about you for the past two weeks. Rightfully so, I might add. They have been calling me and calling me since you were dodging their phone calls and texts. Then, BAM! They decide to move hundreds of miles away from you, and they aren’t one bit nervous or worried about you? This move is happening so quickly, so spur of the moment. Something else is going on here.”

  Now that Elisha has reiterated the quickness and coincidental nature of this move right around the time of all the chaos within the past two weeks, I am not taking my earlier episode of concern lightly.

  Like clockwork, the six o’clock wave of customers heads into the store. It’s not just a weekday thing. I’ve watched the natural flow of this behavior over the years. People are out to dinner and in town. They decide to stroll and window shop after dinner. They pop in and out of the stores, running into friends, colleagues, neighbors, associates here and there. There is always room on a nightstand for the latest bestseller or classic that was once read in high school or college. That is when they come into our store.

  We are in the middle of the wave. I am making brief exchanges with the browsing customers. The vibration starts. It is very slight. Almost indistinguishable. Then the low humming begins. I try to refocus and remain busy with customer conversations. My heart starts to beat faster with nervousness, knowing that this is just the beginning of something that never ends well for me. I check out those that have made their selections, trying to remain busy and distracted from the giant elephant in the room.

  7 p.m. rolls around, and the humming has intensified. The vibration in my body has turned into strong tremors. Then the whispers start. The whispers are like swishing in my ears, creating brief dizziness. My heart feels like it is going to burst out of my chest. I feel like I am short circuiting.