Choose Wisely

by Michele V. Mitchell

  I kissed David on the forehead. We had a few hours before church, so I decided to let him sleep. My son was so handsome. I had to admit he looked a lot like his father David senior. His father was in the army and married. We started dating our senior year in high school. He claimed he’d always had a crush on me but he never approached me until Darius got locked up. For some reason a lot of guys stayed away from me back then. I guess they assumed me and Darius had more going on back then, than we actually had.

  I dated David’s father for a little over two years. We broke up right after my son was born. His father wanted to get married, but I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to be with someone just because I had a baby. I loved him but I was never really in love with him. I remember our last fight like it was yesterday. We had just come home from a nice dinner. He got down on one knee and asked for my hand in marriage

  I was so shocked, I couldn’t speak. I remember balling like a baby. He asked me what was wrong. That’s when I broke his heart. I told him I wasn’t ready to make such a big commitment. He said we didn’t have to get married right away. I knew I had to be truthful. I didn’t love him the way he loved me. I told him he deserved to be with someone who not only loved him but was in love with him. Right after those words, he lost it. He pulled an envelope out of his back pocket, and started waving it in my face.

  “Is this why you won’t marry me? I’ve been nothing but good to you! We have a son together! I guess that doesn’t matter huh?”

  I was confused. I tried to snatch the envelope. But he held it high in the air so I couldn’t reach it. I had never seen him like that he was scaring me. I ran in Little David’s room to check on him. He was still sleeping. I went back in the living room to try to talk some sense into his father.

  “David you need to calm down, before you wake the baby,”

  He started pacing around the living room without saying a word. When he finally spoke; his words would change my life forever. He looked at me with such hurt in his eyes.

  “You know what, you’re right. I deserve someone who wants to be with me. Not a woman who doesn’t appreciate a good man when she has one. He grabbed his keys and headed towards our son’s room. I followed him, to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid like try to take the baby. Instead he picked him up and rubbed his head. I will never forget his words.

  “Hey son, I want you to know I will always love you. But I have to go for a while. I will always be a part of your life. I just need time to find me,” he took a deep sigh.

  “This is not easy for me. I wanted us to be a family. But I don’t think that’s possible. I love you Junior always and forever. He kissed him on the cheek and placed him back in his crib. I hurried and sat on the couch. I didn’t want him to know I was listening to him. At this point he couldn’t even look me in the face.

  “I will have someone come for my things. You really need to be honest with yourself. You will never love anyone until you admit your true feelings for him,”

  He threw the envelope at me and walked out the door. It was a letter from Darius in prison. Back then I thought David’s father was crazy. But now I wondered if I subconsciously had feelings for Darius back then that I wasn’t even aware of. Well it didn’t matter now I thought. Whatever romantic feelings I had for him were gone. We were strictly friends and it was going to stay that way.

  I smiled as I wiped the dust off the picture of David, his father, and his new wife. It was sitting in a wooden frame on his nightstand next to his bed. I was happy with the decision I had made not marrying my son’s father. Looking at the picture, I could tell David Senior was happy too. I strongly believed God would one day; send me the man I was meant to spend the rest of my life with.

  I observed my son’s Sesame Street Elmo Alarm Clock. He still had about an hour before he needed to get up. He was such a good boy. I decided to make his favorite breakfast, pancakes and beef bacon. The smell of the food must have awakened him. Because the bacon was only frying in the pan for five minutes before I saw his beautiful face staring at me.

  “Good morning mommy!”

  “Good morning son. How did you sleep?”

  He rubbed his eyes with his tiny hands.

  “I slept good, I dreamed I was fishing with daddy and Darius!”

  He always got so excited when he talked about his father and Darius. I wasn’t surprised they both played a major role in his life. I fixed his plate and placed it on the table.

  “That’s nice. Did you catch any fish in your dream?”

  He sat and placed his head down on the table.

  “No I didn’t catch anything,” he sadly announced.

  I gave him a pat on the back and told him it was okay. I reminded him it was only a dream, and he would catch hundreds of fish the next time he went fishing. He smiled and waved for me to come closer. I bent down to see what he wanted.

  He whispered in my ear and said, “I love you mommy!”

  I kissed him on the cheek.

  “I love you too. Now eat your food before it gets cold,”

  After eating breakfast with David I ran him some bath water and ironed our clothes. He got dressed and went in the living room to watch television until I was ready. We were about to head out the door when I heard my house phone ring. I was already running late so I didn’t answer. Whoever it was would have to leave a message. My father taught me early on, that no one was more important than the Lord.

  I was relieved when I stepped into the church. I was happy I wasn’t too late. The praise and worship team were still standing in front of the congregation singing and the church was full of the spirit. One of the usher pointed for me and David to sit behind my father. I gave my dad a hug from behind and took my seat. Junior made his way around the pew to sit with is grandpa. I noticed Sandy sitting behind the praise team, with the choir smiling at me. I knew she was happy it was me late for once instead of her.

  Pastor Harris was delivering a strong message. His discussion was about men needing a strong woman.

  “The mate a man picks will either lead him to his destiny or his downfall. Basically a man that does not have a woman pushing him to the top will have a chic driving him straight to the bottom. We sometimes as humans will manipulate a situation to fit our needs. We bend the rules to fit our will. The only problem is it’s not Gods will. So now we’re stuck asking God why? Genius chapter twenty-four Abraham prayed that God would send his son a wife. He didn’t want just any wife. He wanted the right one. He wanted someone who would push him to his destiny. He knew his son was special. In today’s world we need to pray for our sons and daughters. Pray that they find the right mate. Too many people are content with having a boyfriend or a girlfriend, instead of a husband or wife,”

  Pastor Harris went onto say;

  “It’s sad that in today’s society marriage is not a goal or principal that we live by. Today too many people are happy with just playing house. Ladies and gentlemen, this is not what God wants for us. We need to start making some changes here and now. I’m seeing parents who are coddling their sons and discipline their daughters. Girls our cleaning the house and the sons are sitting around playing video games. Little girls are playing with dolls thinking about one day getting married, and we’re too afraid to let our son’s play house, let alone play with dolls. We’re raising our boys and girls with two different set of principles. Folks we need to start making better choices. This message is not just for our future generation. We all need to start choosing wisely today!”

  I felt like the message was specially delivered for me. I stood closed my eyes, and put my hands in the air to give glory to God! I felt something pulling on my dress. I opened my eyes to find David kneeling in the pew by my feet. He was mouthing the words he had to pee. I was happy I was sitting on the end. I took his hand and led him to the restroom.

  “Mommy, can I please have something to drink?”

  I searched through my bag and found a small juice box. He smiled expecting me to hand him
his drink.

  “Not here in the bathroom. You can drink it in the lobby?”

  He smiled and took my hand. I loved this little boy so much. While we walked back to the lobby, I thought back to what Pastor Harris preached earlier. David was only three. But I was going to pray that he found a wife one day. One who would love and support him as much as I did. I was also thankful his father was a God fearing man. I had no doubt he would teach him what it meant to be a good husband when the time came.

  We made it back to the lobby. I told David to have a seat and drink his juice. I peeked inside the chapel. Pastor Harris was giving his final prayer, before service was over. I sat next to my son and waited for Sandy and my dad in the lobby. It was our family tradition to have dinner after church every Sunday. It was Sandy’s turn to pick the restaurant; I hoped she’d pick a buffet because I was starving.

  David ran to my sister, as soon as her and my father came through the doors.

  “You sang good auntie!”

  Sandy picked him up and gave him a big kiss on the cheek.

  “Thank you nephew, but it wasn’t just me singing,”

  “I know but I liked you best!”

  “Are you just saying that so I can pick McDonald’s for dinner today?”

  He laughed.

  “No auntie!”

  She put him down and rubbed her hands together.

  ‘Ok good because I made my choice. I decided on Fire Mountain,”

  I liked her choice but the drive was too far.

  “I hope you’re driving,” I stated.

  Fire Mountain was a buffet, but it was in another town at least twenty-five minutes away.

  “Daddy said he would drive,” she informed.

  Great I thought.

  Now that would be an additional twenty minutes. Everyone knew a turtle walked; faster than my daddy drove. I put on my son’s coat and we headed out door. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Tyrone standing outside the church grinning at me.

  “Wow you must’ve put it on him last night,” Sandy whispered.

  “He done followed you to church!” She laughed.

  “Shut up that’s not funny!” I frowned.

  I couldn’t believe he was here! I didn’t even remember mentioning to him, where my church was. I turned to my family and excused myself. I needed to see what he wanted and fast. I wasn’t ready to explain to my father or David who he was. I hurried over to the church parking lot, where he was parked.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Damn boo no hello? I mean dang; I am standing in front of a church,” he stated.

  I looked back nervously as my family patiently waited on me.

  “I’m sorry I’m just surprised to see you here. What’s up?” I asked.

  “I wanted to take you out to eat. I had just a good time last night. I really didn’t want the night to end,”

  “That’s nice. But I actually already have plans to eat with my family. We go for lunch every Sunday after church,”

  I looked around the parking lot as members said their goodbye’s and got in their vehicles. I noticed my father walking with the Pastor and First Lady towards their car. I didn’t want to rush Tyrone, but he needed to go.

  Tyrone gently took my hand and kissed it. He was sure different from the men I grew up around. He was like the men I would see in the movies. He would order your food, pull out your chair. He would even open doors for you! I wasn’t use to his kind of treatment, but I could adjust.

  “I’m sorry for barging in on you and your family. Let me make it up to you. I want to take you all out to eat wherever you want to go,”

  I pulled my hand away.

  “You don’t have to do that,” I objected.

  I honestly didn’t want him meeting my family yet. I didn’t even get a chance to tell my son about him. Tyrone wouldn’t take no for an answer. When my family approached us, he just took over. He introduced himself and extended the offer to take us all out. Since he said it didn’t matter where we chose and money was no cost; my sister took that literally. She chose the most expensive Italian restaurant in Harrisburg.

  We pulled into Mangia Qui restaurant; as soon as we walked in I knew the place was expensive. It had beautiful artwork hanging on the walls. The tables were covered with long white lace tablecloths. Our waitress sat us down and gave us our menus. Tyrone ordered us a bottle of Sartori Ferdi, which was a white wine, I’d never heard of or tasted. He went to pour my father a glass. But he objected because he didn’t drink. There he goes I thought. Ordering for people not knowing if they want it or not. Sandy of course had no problems with the wine. She picked up her glass; smelled the wine and twirled it around in her mouth, like she was a professional wine-taster. I couldn’t resist. I had to laugh. She always knew how to lighten the mood.

  Lunch was delicious. Tyrone ordered me the Filet Mignon Sandwich. They didn’t have a kids menu. So I ordered David the Ravioli. I tasted a bite and had to admit, it was nothing like Chef Boyardee. I could tell everyone was enjoying their meal. The food was authentic. I still loved Olive Garden. But this place was on a whole other level.

  We left the restaurant and I could tell everyone was satisfied. Tyrone dropped us off back at the church where our vehicles were. David begged Sandy to go with her. I said it was ok as long as she had him back before bedtime. I waved as my sister and son pulled off. I went to my car to put my leftovers in. My father followed me. Whispering he wanted a word with Tyrone. I waited patiently as my father interrogated him.

  The men finished their discussion, and walked over to me. My father gave me a hug and whispered, “He seems like a keeper,”

  I smiled.

  “Thanks daddy I love you!”

  “Love you too!”

  I watched him pull off, and sat inside my car. Tyrone went around and got in on the other side.

  “So did you enjoy yourself?” He asked.

  “Yes I had a great time,” I admitted.

  But that didn’t change how I felt. I didn’t appreciate the fact that he just showed up unannounced.

  “Tyrone I appreciate your gesture, but you just showing up is unacceptable,”

  “Unacceptable? You can’t be serious?” He laughed.

  “I’m very serious,”

  Who did he think he was? I thought. I’m sitting trying to be honest with my feelings and he thinks it’s funny.

  “I am a single mother. I have to be very careful who I allow in me and my son’s life. You didn’t even give me a chance to tell my family about you,” I was trying my best not to catch an attitude, but his arrogance was unbelievable!

  “I know you’re not one of those women who don’t appreciate shit! I came to surprise you. I didn’t want to take out your entire family but I did,”

  I could tell he was getting angry because the more he spoke the louder he became.

  “I didn’t ask you to treat my family you offered!” I reminded him.

  “Your right, that’s what I get for trying to please your ungrateful ass! I thought you were different. But you’re just like the rest of these trifling women out here! You need to grow the hell up!”

  He jumped up so fast, I didn’t have time to come back with a sarcastic remark. He slammed by door and kicked in his way. I was stunned. I sat there with my mouth hanging open watching him as he sped out the parking lot.

  Dontae

  I couldn’t believe I let Lexi convince me to take a trip to Atlantic City. It was only for the weekend. But I had a business to run. We arrived at the Harrah’s Hotel & Casino and checked in. She was a rewards member so our room was discounted. Any woman who could save me a few dollars was a keeper in my eyes. I followed her and admired her booty as she led me through the casino. I coughed as we passed the smoking section. I hated cigarette smoke. That was turn off for me. I scanned the room it was lit up with lights. There were no windows so you had no idea what time of day it was. I watched as people pulled down on the slot machine levers, and placed ch
ips on the tables hoping to win big. I had never gambled before. It looked exciting.

  We made it to our room. I watched as she slid the key card down and opened the door. The room was nice. As soon as we walked in, there was a closet with a sliding door and huge mirror. Of course she stopped to check herself out. She was sexy and she knew it. I dropped the bags and squeezed her waist. She turned her neck and leaned her back against my chest.

  “Thank you Papi. I really needed this,” she smiled.

  “Girl you don’t have to thank me. This is what I do,” I softly kissed her neck and turned my attention to huge king size bed.

  It looked so comfortable. I was ready to jump right in. It had been a long drive and I could use a power nap. Lexi decided she would take a shower before we went out to dinner. We had passed a few restaurants before we came upstairs. I was amazed at all the Harrah’s had to offer. Restaurants, shops, they even had a night club right inside. I knew whoever owned that club was making serious money. I reached for my duffel bag that was sitting on the floor. I pulled out my bottle of E&J. I heard it was illegal to carry liquor from one state to the next. But who was gonna tell.

  I poured me cup and laid back onto the bed. I searched for the remote and turned on the television. I flicked through the channels. I couldn’t find anything worth watching. So I settled with Family Feud. Steve Harvey was my dude. I placed the remote on the nightstand and noticed the bible sitting next to it. I sighed, picking it up.

  I knew being here was something my mother wouldn’t approve of. I knew this was not the life she wanted for me. But I was grown and I wasn’t hurting nobody, if she could see me now. I knew she would say I was turning into my father. He was a gambler and one of Harrisburg’s top drug dealers back in the day. She didn’t know what he did for a living at first. But by the time she found out, she was already in love and pregnant with me. She thought she could change him. But the truth is you can’t change anyone who doesn’t want to change. They stayed together until I was three. He did a ten year bid right after my third birthday. I was almost fourteen when I saw him again.