by Casey Herzog
“More information about your father will come to light soon enough. You didn’t know him like I did. He was misunderstood, but he did the best he could.”
This wasn’t the first time somebody had told me I didn’t know my father, and it wasn’t going to be the last.
I opened the door wide and motioned for him to leave, which he did, reluctantly. Outside the door, he turned to say something, but I cut him off, slamming the door in his face. It felt good to reassert my independence. I couldn’t allow anybody to tell me how to live my life. It didn’t matter if it was Mr. Coleman or the Elders. They didn’t know me and I planned to correct that as soon as possible.
I went back into the living room and over to the open door of the study. The glass was frosted and I touched the intricate door. Whoever had done the work had not held back on creativity; the design was unique. On further inspection, there seemed to be something more than just the design. How had I never noticed anything out of the ordinary before? How was that even possible?
As I approached, I noticed a dark spot I hadn’t seen before. I took my portable light and shone the beam right on that very spot. It glowed the same way the blinking green eye had earlier. Even further, it projected some strange drawings on the wall. Unable to makes sense of the drawings, I was about to go to bed; suddenly the desk began to shake. Something inside was rattling around.
I took a few steps closer, and it stopped moving altogether. I stood still, and it began to shake again with that same rattling noise from inside the desk. I went around to the other side, and all the drawers were wide open. They weren’t hiding a damn thing.
I don’t know why, but I closed the blinds. It felt like an important and fitting tribute to my father. He taught me that not all secrets were good or bad, that there were varying degrees. In fact, the only thing I could think about when I was growing up was that he was keeping something from me.
“Come closer.”
I looked around for the source of the voice. It was a disembodied sound coming from no one.
“You know you want to.”
I thought I was losing it. Had my mind somehow snapped under the weight of my father’s demise?
“I know you’re curious.”
I should have been screaming my fool head off, but I didn’t feel the need for such an emotional outburst.
“Who…are you?” I swallowed hard, thinking about how stupid my question really was. However, there was a supernatural force at work, and I was worried the Elders would find out.
“That is not the question you need to ask. This is not the first time you have seen it. I need you to embrace the unknown and forget about everything you have learned. Isn’t it time to take off the blinders? I never did agree you were ready.”
I was having a debate with the voice without even speaking. I tried to shake out the cobwebs, but it persisted.
“There’s only one way to find out. This is entirely your choice, but I know you will make the right decision.”
I sat down in my father’s leather chair, and two pairs of green eyes looked at me from the bottom drawer.
I put my hands out and took a hold of them. I felt a tingling sensation followed by warmth that made me close my eyes. I saw visions flashing quickly, then diminishing. I placed them on the desk, remembering something my father said in passing. He mentioned that there was a vast source of magic: the magic eyes. Whoever possessed them could wield the kind of power that could corrupt those of sound mind and body.
I thought that it was a myth or legend that had been passed down from generation to generation. I was wrong.
The two orbs glowed. I moved closer and looked into them with a mesmerized stare. I couldn’t pull away. There was a force pushing against me, and I was pinned against the chair like an insect on a windshield.
“You are what is destined to be. This can be a blessing or a curse. Only you can decide this for yourself. A door has been opened, and all you need to do is cross over the threshold.
“You can’t trust anyone with the secret. There will be those who covet what you have, and they will do practically anything to get it. They will tell you what you want to hear to lull you into a false sense of security.
“You are stronger than you think. The Lockhart blood runs through your veins. That is a powerful tool and one you should not squander.”
The voice was a little clearer. It was my father. It sounded foreign, a different man than the one I remembered.
It was like a recording, but what had struck me and pinned me against the chair was a revelation. An ancient and falling apart book began to flip pages on its own accord. I gazed toward the pages and suddenly all the knowledge within book was now a part of me.
I didn’t know how it was possible, but a part of myself that had long been dormant was awakening. The orbs were absorbed into my hands with a rush of endorphins unlike anything I had felt before. The experience was too powerful and I spun out of control.
Then, I lost consciousness.
Chapter Four
“Gillian…have you slept here all night?”
Julian was shaking me. I awoke to find myself curled in my father’s chair like he was with me the entire night.
“I have to get to school. They are having an assembly to commemorate your father’s legacy. I know you have bereavement leave, but don’t you think you should get out of the house? I think it’s important you be there.”
I looked down at the desk and I could tell it had moved a few inches. The dust had settled around the legs. “The one thing I don’t need is people feeling sorry for me. I got enough of that at the wake. Everybody was so nice, but you could tell in their eyes they thought I was a broken doll. I won’t give anybody the satisfaction of falling apart,” I said
“You don’t have to feel that way with me. What would you do without me?”
“I’m going to stand strong and be the kind of daughter he would be proud of. I don’t even know why I should care. I still have a lot to do, so don’t worry about me. I used you to hold me up, but I don’t need that anymore.” There was something inside me burning like a candle in the wind. I was imbued with an unshaken confidence, something I had been missing my whole life.
I glanced down at the bottom drawer and the two orbs were mysteriously absent. I remembered something, but … it couldn’t be. There was no way I had absorbed those two orbs into my body. It seemed implausible, and I wasn’t going to give my concern a voice.
“I’ve always known you were stronger than you gave yourself credit for. It’s just nice to see that you’re beginning to believe it too. I suppose the one silver lining in all of this is that you don’t have to worry about homework. You know how Mr. Bethesda gets on a tangent and has you writing a million miles an hour. Just between you and me, he’s not much of a teacher, but it’s not like we can do anything about that.”
The words I had seen in the pages of that one book had stuck with me. It was several hundred pages, yet it was like I had memorized them.
“I’ve always admired Mr. Bethesda for being a radical thinker. They tried to tell him what to teach, but he doesn’t listen to them. He makes me believe in a better future for all of us. I’m not saying that he’s not boring though. I’ve fallen asleep during several of his lectures, and I wasn’t the only one.” I had slept in the same clothes and I needed to freshen up before I tackled the many boxes I had to pack.
“Don’t let the other students hear you say something like that. They’ll begin to believe that you’re teacher’s pet, and your grade certainly does reflect that.”
“What do you mean by that?” I asked Julian.
“Sometimes it’s not a good idea to look smarter than everybody else. It leads to resentment, and grading on a curve takes on a whole different meaning.”
He gave me a kiss on the cheek, but I knew deep down he wanted to make more of a lasting impression on me. As I escorted him to the door, I noticed the brass knocker of a lion’s head. I had seen it many t
imes, but this time it seemed to take on a life of its own. I thought for a moment that it moved, but it had to be the trick of the light. Didn’t it?
I went over to the many boxes. It boggled my mind how I was going to get all of this done. I had to get away. I went upstairs and showered quickly; the droplets of water hitting my skin felt different somehow. I was connected to each individual drop that cascaded down my naked body, and I had the impression I could reach out and freeze them with my touch. The feeling of the hot water was enhanced, and it was striking in a way that left me at loss for words.
The knocking on the door reminded me of how Elder Masters had shown up in the middle of the night to lay the bombshell in my lap. My father had died; I wasn’t ready for any more bad news. I got dressed and went downstairs to open the door, ready to tear into anyone standing there. It didn’t turn out that way.
“I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I would’ve come by earlier, but I thought you would have had your hands full with all those well wishers.” William had his hat in his hand, an English cap that had become a fashion statement because of him. “I know you probably don’t believe it, but I know exactly how you feel. My father died and left me with a hole in my heart I couldn’t fill..” He was lanky and tall, but there was a muscularity underneath he was trying his best to hide.
“I would say that you’re supposed to be in school, but I don’t think you really believe in it. I’ve only seen you a handful of times, and I’ve heard the teachers comment on your absence. They might have done something more than talk about it, but your grades didn’t slip in the very least,” I said
I could feel something happening. Thoughts of my father were building against my will. I felt overwhelming grief strangling me, and I fell to my knees with my hands outstretched on the banister.
A burst of energy exited my fingers and flames danced along the wood. They began to spread to the second floor. I saw the flicker of the flames in my vision and couldn’t believe how easy it was.
I heard the door close and then the whisper of William trying to rein me in. “We all knew this day was coming. We told him you should be prepared, but he said he didn’t want you involved. Unfortunately, your bloodline doesn’t allow you to sit on the sidelines. Before this place goes up in flames, I need you to concentrate and imagine you are snuffing out the blaze with a blanket,” William said, sounding like he knew my father better than I did.
I followed his instructions, and the flames that had been growing higher began to die out, until all that was left were scorch marks.
“I don’t know what happened. It had to be my grief manifesting some kind of forbidden magic.” I could feel the heat from the fire burning my fingers, but it left no discernible mark on my skin. There was no blistering and nothing to indicate my hand had been on fire.
“You can’t hide from this forever. He told me you would be scared and that I should handle you with kid gloves. So, follow me because I need to show you something. The one thing you need going forward is an open mind. The life you have led is a façade. It doesn’t have to be that way anymore, but it’s up to you to take the next step. At least this way you’ll have all the information to make an informed decision.”
A week ago, I would have followed him anywhere, but in this one instance, it felt like he was pushing me towards the abyss. “I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, William. It’s not fair to screw with me in my current state of mind. If this is some kind of practical joke, then I’m not laughing. It’s cruel, and it’s a wonder that I haven’t unraveled altogether.”
“Have you ever heard of the dreamscape? It’s a world out of phase with this one. I can’t believe for a second you haven’t experienced it. Your father was the architect of that world, and that legacy has now been passed onto you. I think you do his memory a disservice by trying to stick your head in the sand. You have every reason to be afraid, but the unknown can be an eye-opening experience.”
I was surprised when his words meant something to me. When I was younger, I had dreams of floating above my bed, looking down at my prone form sleeping soundly under the covers. It happened time and time again. It was as if I was giving myself the freedom to be myself in another world consisting of my dreams. Now it was starting to make sense.
I took one last look at the burn marks on the banister, and then I joined him in the study. “Why is it that everything leads to this room?” It was difficult to keep my hands to myself and that newfound confidence made me feel like the woman inside had been unchained.
“You know the answer to that more than anyone. Your father put a shroud over your eyes to blind you to the truth. I didn’t agree with it, but he said it was for your own good. There will always be others looking to take your father’s power for themselves, but I can tell from what happened with the fire that you have been given the gift of magic eyes. You would think that everybody who practices the dark arts would have the same abilities, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. There are only a select few who are chosen for magic eyes. Your father spoke with conviction about a future where magic is not forbidden. He wanted all of us to be prepared for that eventuality, but some have been reluctant to wait.”
My head was spinning. I couldn’t grasp the concept of what he was trying to tell me. “My father never talked about magic. Whenever I would bring it up, he would give me the evil eye and shut down the conversation. It is part of our history, and not something we should hide from. We learned the hard way that magic can be destructive in the wrong hands. It always takes that one bad cook to spoil the broth for the rest of us.
“The most I could do growing up was a few fireworks. It wasn’t much more than a fizzle brought about by an illegal substance. I didn’t have the kind of power behind it I did with the staircase fire just now. You’re obviously trying to tell me something; you’ve been walking on eggshells from the moment you arrived.” I wanted to kiss him and to hold him close, but I stopped myself because I didn’t know where this was leading.
“This place has always been sacred; this room has been adorned by the markers of the dreamscape. This has always been the doorway. There are others, but they only appear at certain intervals. This one remains open, but only with the markers in place. I want you to close your eyes and embrace the darkness that swallows you whole. This is your legacy and it’s time for you to take your rightful place. You have very little understanding of the world that you are about to enter, but I will be there with you every step of the way.”
He took my hand and I closed my eyes with a sinking feeling. “I don’t know why, but I trust you. I can’t explain it.” The feeling of something sticky was up to my neck. I took a deep breath and immersed myself into the darkness of my own soul. I still had a firm grip on his hand, but everything else turned around me like I was in some sort of twister.
“Whatever you do…don’t let go. If that were to happen, you would be lost and I’m not sure you would ever find your way back. This place can be unforgiving to those who don’t believe. We’ve had some casualties along the way and we’re not proud of it. Nonetheless, I feel that the only place that I can truly be myself is in the dreamscape.” I was spinning and screaming at the same time, wanting this roller coaster to stop.
“I can’t do this anymore. I feel like I’m coming apart at the seams.” I felt myself falling, and the impact against the cold, hard floor was enough to make me open my eyes. Standing there, within the light, was William and others who had crowded around him like they were curious to know what was happening. They were not the only ones trying to understand what was happening. I tried to get up, but my whole body felt like it weighed ten times my regular weight.
“The trip isn’t an easy one for most and those who haven’t done it before are usually left in a catatonic state for at least a day. It should say something that you’re not like everybody else.”
He gave me his hand and I got up to see that I was in a school identical to the one I
attended. Everything was the same, except there were these insignificant little insects skittering along the floor.
“I should have warned you about them. They live within this phase of existence. We call them skaters. They’re harmless, but they do fight back when provoked: lessons we have learned the hard way. This school is the same as ours, but in a different phase of existence.”
I was a little dizzy, but able to stand, until I wasn’t. I heard laughter as I landed on my ass, but the only thing bruised was my ego. William hovered over me like an anxious parent. There were murmurs of discontent amongst those staring down at me in judgment. I could almost hear their disapproving thoughts, but they were a jumbled mess. I couldn’t distinguish one from the other.
“Give the girl some room to breathe. There’s no reason to ridicule her. You’ve all been in her position before. It’s not nice to make fun of people.”
I looked up to see the disgraced professor, Drake Haven, taking an avid interest in my well-being.
“I want everybody to return to class except for William. He was the one that brought her here, and that makes her his responsibility.”
Drake was a little different than I remembered. His hair was streaked with black and white and I could see the whites of his eyes. He looked blind, but his smile told me otherwise.
Chapter Five
I was taught never to stray from the sidewalk because there were dangers all around. It wasn’t until I was old enough to know better that I got the impression that my father was being overprotective. I’d learned to play on the safe side, but there were times I went against convention. Of course, I never told my father about my rebellious behavior. I had skipped school a couple of times to contemplate the meaning of life with other like-minded students. We talked about everything, including magic. I felt more connected to them than I did to my friends. I was secretly ashamed, but that didn’t prevent me from going back each and every time.
It felt like I was addicted. My father always thought I was a good girl, but I had a dark side. It wasn’t one I showed many. They would never understand how hard it was to lose my mother. It was a long road, and I needed to find a safe haven. My father wasn’t there for me, and I felt this pull to do something wrong. I lived within this bubble, and God forbid, if I broke it.