“She doesn’t need me. Just look at the way she’s smiling at that fuck.”
Lynx looks and grimaces, giving me a pitying look that has my eyes narrowing. I don’t want or need his pity. I’m fine. I’ve been out and about for the last week, socializing with friends and meeting women.
I even had sex last week, and it was…not good. Not good at all. I was about halfway in, just getting ready to go in and prove that I don’t feel anything more than lust and some friendship for Mika.
And I lost my boner, to my dismay and the shock of my fellow sex partner. It just…stopped for me. That’s never happened to me before, and I can tell you, it freaked me the fuck out.
But I’m not one to just lie down and cry, so I took a job down in DC for two days with Brass and focused on work. It’s been good. I work. I work out, and I go out with Teeg and Brass when we’re all in town at the same time.
I’m still trying to tell myself I’m good when the dancing starts and Leila and Mika take the floor. Good God, she has less rhythm than Leila, I think, horrified when they keep going in spite of Lyon’s pleas for Leila to stop.
It’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen, and even I can’t stop from laughing until that Harlan ass goes over and starts dancing with her, his smile so big I narrow my eyes to count his teeth and plan his demise.
“Look! This is just sad. You’re the gruff and grumpy one of all the Wylders, the one everyone least expects to fall in love and settle down. You’re obviously not as heartless as we all suspect, and you like Mika, so just get in there and do something before she falls for that tall drink of hotness,” Teeny mutters, pushing Tammy at Lynx and putting her hands on her hips.
She’s so small she doesn’t reach my nipples, so having her lecture me and order me around is funny, I won’t lie, but I scowl at her words and just glare down at her, sipping my beer.
“I don’t like her like that.”
“Oh bullsh…shrimp,” she finishes, casting an eye at Tammy, who isn’t interested in anything but getting her lips around Lynx’s beer bottle.
“Tammy Lee, come to Gamma.”
Teeny smiles at Mom and stays silent while she wrestles Tammy away from a protesting Lynx and floats off, bragging her ass off to Leila’s mom because she has the first grandkid and two more on the way.
“Now, where was I? Oh, yes. You watched her the whole time she walked down the aisle and even while Leila and Lyon were getting married.”
“She looked hot. Her dress is short. What am I, blind?” I counter, grabbing another beer as Bear passes, his protests unheard as I hand him the empty and he stalks away grumbling.
“Come on, Hawk. Is that it?” Teeny asks quietly, giving me the look I hate because even Mom uses it on me when I don’t cop to her plans for marriage and a million kids.
“What do you want here, a confession of undying love? I like Mika, we’re friends, and she’s part of the family. Just because I get a hard-on does not mean I’m going mad with love, Teeny. Sorry, but it’s just not so,” I say softly, regretfully.
“But she’s perfect for you,” Teeny mumbles, leaning into Lynx, who wraps his arms around her.
“She is perfect, just not for me. We have fun together, but I’m not on the market for the whole shebang.”
She huffs but gives me a rueful smile and shrugs.
“I told you his heart don’t beat,” Lynx mumbles, sweeping her away to the dance floor amid giggles and a lot of very disgusting innuendo about Mom babysitting and the house being their playground.
I brood alone for all of ten minutes before I lock onto Brass and amble over to him at the bar. I drink with him, a lot, and by the time the wedding cake is cut and everyone is having a merry time, all I want to do is be alone, so I make it to the house, dodging friends and family.
I’m coming around the corner to get to the stairs when Mika falls out of the downstairs bathroom, giggling at Tiffany when she hollers that she needs her man and scuttles out the other door.
Mika turns, still grinning, and runs right into me, letting off an oomph of surprise when her breasts hit my chest and my arms wrap around her. The feel of her in my arms is what I remember, and I find myself unable to let go.
“Oh, uh, sorry,” she mumbles, pushing her hands into my chest to lean back because my arms are locked around her.
“Hey.”
“Um, hey, Hawk,” she says softly, looking around, her eyes darting everywhere but at me.
She’s so adorable and soft, and she smells so good I grin and pull her in closer, taking a few steps backward until we’re in the downstairs linen closet and I have her pressed up against the closed door.
“You looked really beautiful today, Mika,” I murmur, stroking a hand over her cheek, my knuckles loving the feel of her soft skin against mine.
She blushes and looks away, trembling beneath my hands and against my body where I have her pinned, our legs connected where I have my hips pushed right into hers.
Her breaths are coming fast then, and I grin because I can feel her squirm against me where I have my cock pressed into her, my knees slightly bent to line myself up right where I want to be.
“I, but, what are you doing?”
What I need to, I think, feeling my pulse spike when she wiggles involuntarily and moves against my hard shaft. I want her, now, desperately and with an aching need that has me pulsing in my boxers, the memory of her tightly shuddering heat milking me, making me harder still.
“I want you. Jesus, I want you so much I haven’t stopped thinking about you. This, the way you felt when I pushed into you and made you come on me. Do you feel me?” I grate, pumping my hips just right so that I feel her slide up and down my cock.
I take heart, and some of my anger slides away, anger I have at myself, when she gasps and her hips twitch, pushing closer. She gasps, her eyes flitting to mine, and grabs my shoulders in clawing fingers.
“We…should…this isn’t a good idea.”
She says it, but her body doesn’t agree and starts riding on and off my cock, one of her knees curling around my hips as she slides up and down on me in short, jerking motions that press the heat of her through my pants.
“It’s the only idea. Fuck, ride my dick, Mika. That’s it, babe. I can feel how wet you’re getting through all the layers.”
My words are whispered against her lips, and I kiss her because I have to and because tasting her here is the first step to other things. She stills and whimpers at first and then kisses me back with a moan, as if she can’t help herself.
The capitulation is all I need, everything I was praying for, and I start thrusting my tongue into her even as my hands fumble for the zipper at her back.
She isn’t wearing a bra with the strapless pink confection, so her breasts spill out easily into my hand, my thumbs going for and pinching her nipples before I pull away with a gasp and lean down to suck her hard.
Mika mewls, digging her sex into me harder, wiggling wildly, seeking release from the need and desire I bring out in her.
“Oh, please.”
She’s always begging me whenever we touch, and the surge of power I feel is unlike anything I’ve had before. I don’t want her begging this time though. I want her coming, over and over again, so that she knows what only I can give her.
Releasing her nipples reluctantly, I fall to my knees and almost come when I shove her dress to her waist and see the wet spot against the pink, almost transparent silk of her panties. She’s primed and ready for me, but I want more. I want her so hot between her thighs she’ll burn for me.
“Hawk.”
“Sssh, Mika, don’t think, babe. Just feel me here,” I croon, hiking her leg over my shoulder to open her up before ripping her panties in half.
Her scent hits me first, and I do growl and grab at my cock to stave off a climax that’s been boiling in my nuts since we came in here. Mika makes a gasping hum low in her throat, and I can’t stop myself anymore. My mouth descends, opening wide, and I s
uck at her whole sex, wanting her taste and the evidence of my pull on my tongue before I make her come. On my face and on my cock.
I hear her gasp again, feel her fingers in my hair and growl against her, using my tongue and lips to suck on her and drive her higher. She’s a wet, sticky delight as she grinds herself against my face, the doubts and whatever inhibitions she had vanishing when I spread her with my thumbs and start flicking at her clit, the hard bud so swollen it fills my lips.
“Oh!”
“Sssh, you have to be quiet or they’ll hear you.”
I don’t care who hears us, would be smug and proud to walk out here with everyone knowing that I just did my woman real good in the closet and made her scream, but I know that Mika gets off a little on the danger aspect, and so I warn her, getting harder when she bites into her fist to stifle her sounds and rides her hips against my tongue.
“Hawk.”
“That’s it. You’re close, Mika. I can feel it,” I snarl, licking harder. “Come, baby. Let me have it.”
She goes off at my direction, pulsing out an orgasm as she muffles her pleasure against her hand and pants, her knees going weak. I rise quickly and start pulling at my zipper, when I hear a commotion and yelling.
“You find him! I’m getting Danny to the hospital, and whoever is there is there!”
Bear’s yells make me pause, and I almost groan when I realize what is happening. Danny must have gone into labor, and thank God for that, because the poor girl is miserable this overdue.
I grunt, my dick not at all happy when I pull my zipper back up and lean my head against the door, letting off a puffed laugh of derision against Mika’s neck.
“Cock blocked by a baby,” I mutter, pulling her dress back up and zipping it while licking at her delicate throat. “This isn’t over.”
She’s stiff and trembling as I hold her up and let her body go through the aftershocks of her pleasure, my mind already racing with when and where I’ll get to her again.
Right now is a no-go. We have to get to the hospital, but later, oh yeah, later I will have her, I promise myself and my aching sex, licking my lips and growling at the taste of her still coating them.
“Hawk.”
Her gasp forces me to pull back, and I stop thinking when she paws at my zipper, the need in her eyes a desperate plea that I can’t, won’t, ignore. Shit, I should know already that Mika doesn’t get off on only oral sex. More often than not, I’d make her come only to have her greedy hands pulling at me, her lust so strong she needed me in her before she could find fulfilment.
I should go. My family are looking for me, but I have my pants and boxers down to my knees, and I’m pushing into her before I can tell myself to stop. No one, not even my own family, can convince me to stop now, not when she needs me and I need her.
I fill her in a thrust, and I have to grit my teeth against a yell when her wet, hot flesh snaps around me, sucking me deep. This sex isn’t seduction, claiming, or even just about pleasure. It’s me coming home in her, feeling every hot part of her as I start fucking in hard, short jabs, my pelvis hitting her clit with every grind of my hips.
“Oh, it feels so good.”
Better than good, and I’d tell her but I’m biting into my lips to stop from yelling when she contracts and starts convulsing around me. I don’t hold back when she orgasms but let go and come hard and fast, spending inside her willing body in great shudders as my seed shoots out of me.
We’re both panting when I pull back, sliding out of her with regret. Mika looks dazed, but I’m glad to see her snapping back to life when feet pound outside the door. We dress quickly, me chuckling a little when she gets a look at her panties and scowls, using the ripped ruins to mop between her thighs before shoving them into my pants.
“You need to get rid of those.”
Like hell. I’ll never let them go, I think, grinning at her blushes and the way she can’t meet my eyes.
“Babe.”
“Don’t talk to me right now. I need to get the hell out of here before someone knows I’ve been doing you in the closet while my date stands around like a lost fart,” she hisses, dropping her head to the door with a groan.
“We need to go, Meek. We gotta get to the hospital, and then, later, we talk,” I warn.
I won’t let her run from this. We’re together, whether she wants to see it or not, and I won’t allow her to push me away again just because we’re in an undefined place.
I now know what I feel for Mika, and it’s clear that she feels for me or she wouldn’t have just let me make love to her.
“We shouldn’t have done this! Oh God, what is wrong with me? You look at me and I crumble.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you. We want each other, babe. That’s not a crime.”
“It is when I know that wanting you is bad for me, Hawk! I don’t want hot sex in the closet—okay, I do want hot sex in the closet, but I want it with someone who cares more about me than you obviously do. This…it’s just sex, and it’s so good I can’t resist you when you touch me. But I don’t just want sex.”
Her words have me sighing because now is not the time or the place for a deep discussion. I want her, and she wants me. I don’t see what the goddamn problem is.
“We’ll talk about this later,” I insist, putting an arm around her to keep the door closed, my face pressing into her hair. “We have to talk. Promise me.”
Her shoulders slump before she shoves me away and cracks the door to peep out.
“Promise me!”
“Shhh! Your dad is out there.”
“I don’t give a damn if the pope is out there right now. Look at me!”
She obeys reluctantly, and I grunt happily when I see that her eyes are still slightly dazed and she’s trying valiantly to clear the fog of sex from her brain. That is one of my favorite parts about being with her. She is so easy to be with once we’re in the zone, and she strokes my ego with the slow, almost reluctant return to reality. I like my woman sex drunk on me, and I don’t care how egotistical or macho I sound. It’s nice to know I affect her the way she does me.
“We need to talk. No more hiding or ignoring my calls.”
“Me? I’m not the only one!” she hisses, slapping at the hand I stroke against her cheek.
“I know. But it stops now. And get rid of the little shit before you read about him in the papers.”
Her muffled shriek when she slips out of the closet makes me grin, and I know I’ve pissed her off when I hear her shoes pounding the floor outside, that aggravated stalk of hers playing in my mind’s eye.
I will talk to her because despite trying and making moves to forget what we shared, I find myself obsessed and totally in lust with this woman. She’s mine for as long as we have, and that’s just that.
Chapter Twelve
Mika
The no-good, arrogant, egotistical, insensitive pig.
I keep muttering the phrase over and over again in my head as I let Harlan drive me home and thank him in a rush before getting my car and speeding for the hospital.
The wedding reception was basically over when Danny went into labor, each and every Wylder running for battle stations when, according to Tiffany, Danny paused on the dance floor and exploded a rush of water down her legs.
After leaving Hawk and that closet—oh God, what have I done!—I ran outside only to see everyone scattering while Lyon yelled at them to drink and dance or get the fuck gone because we were all leaving.
So, we all left, except I still had Harlan to consider, so instead of rushing out with the others, I had to wait for everyone to leave so we could get his car out.
It took an hour, and I was bouncing the entire time, alternately praying someone’s car would break down and I could have a plausible excuse not to go to the hospital and yelling at people to get the hell gone so I could go.
I’m torn because everyone around me is either having a baby or very much pregnant, while I got to look at Dr. Forbes’
s face just a week ago and hear that while the growth they cut out of me isn’t cancerous, it put paid to that measly ten percent I was working with.
I will never ever have a baby of my own. Never.
He looked at me sadly, almost pityingly, when I started crying and told me that I have so many other options. Yeah right! I have adoption, if I can make the process work for me, and that is it.
I can’t even have eggs fertilized and get a surrogate to carry my child because I have the shriveled eggs of an eighty-year-old. Or whatever. The point is that I’m sunk with that last freaking doctor’s visit, and I feel like I’m falling apart here.
“Call me!”
I barely wave at Harlan as I hop out of his car and run for mine, fumbling with the key fob before it beeps the doors open, and I dive in. I should really not speed, I think, flooring the gas, but the truth is that as shitty as I feel and as much as my chest aches at the thought of what’s happening, I wouldn’t miss this for the world.
No, I will never have a baby, but someone I love is going to bring a new life into this world, and I owe it to her to be there and share in the joy of the occasion.
So, I’ll do what I’ve done for years, suck it up and just push the bad stuff away. I want to see Danny and Bear’s son and hold him and smell his baby soft skin.
I want to look at him and tell them that he looks like this one or he has a nose like that one as people are wont to do, even if it’s not true because all babies look the same when they’re that little as far as I can tell.
I make it there in record time, cursing when it takes twenty minutes to find a parking spot, and run into the hospital with absolutely no idea where I’m going.
Another ten minutes pass before I can get directions and make my way up to maternity, and by the time I get there, I have my game face on, and I’m smiling when Leila jumps up and rushes at me.
“It’s gonna happen fast. Her water broke right there on the dance floor, and by the time Bear got her here, she was already halfway there. For a first baby, I think Danny might get lucky.”
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