Moving On

by Rosie Harris

  ‘It means changing all our wedding plans yet again,’ Jenny warned.

  ‘I know that but, as I said to Karen, we can always fix new dates when she is fit again.’

  Jenny felt choked. She simply nodded her agreement and squeezed his hand.

  ‘We’ll take Bill for a meal and afterwards we’ll let him know that is what we are planning to do,’ Tom said as they waited for Bill to join them.

  Tom was as good as his word. He kept up a light conversation throughout their meal but afterwards in the car going back to Bill’s he assured Bill that they would both be staying to help look after Karen and the baby for as long as it was necessary for them to do so.

  The discussion about the preparations they had made for the baby and what still had to be done continued well into the evening until Jenny said that she was so tired she would be falling asleep in the armchair if she didn’t get to bed.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Bill told her. ‘I’ve been going over all the possibilities in my head ever since Karen was rushed into hospital and I am afraid I’ve taken advantage of you being here and talked my head off about it all. I can’t tell you how relieved I am to know that you’ll both be here when Karen comes home.’

  ‘Well, I will have to nip back to Wallasey for a couple of days to cancel all the arrangements we have made for our wedding. I’ll go first thing tomorrow but Jenny can stay here and help you get things ready for Karen coming home. I will be back down again as soon as I’ve sorted everything out up there,’ Tom assured him.

  ‘That sounds fine,’ Bill agreed as they all stood up ready to go to bed.

  Leaving the two men to tidy up downstairs, Jenny went on up to the spare bedroom. She was so tired that it wasn’t until she had undressed and was stretched out under the duvet that she realized she would be sharing the bed with Tom.

  Jenny remembered the protestations she had made about this the last time they had visited Karen but now somehow, it didn’t seem to matter; in fact, it seemed right.

  She stretched, sleepily aware that she was looking forward to the idea that Tom would soon be there in the bed beside her; it was so comforting to know that she would be sleeping in his arms.

  Thirty-Seven

  A week later Karen and the baby came home. She still looked pale and seemed nervous and ill at ease as she handled the baby. They hadn’t yet decided on a name; Bill called her Beauty and Karen still referred to her as Baby.

  At first they were all talking in whispers, tiptoeing around and shushing each other for fear of disturbing the sleeping scrap.

  ‘This is nonsense,’ Tom said with a laugh. ‘We can’t spend the rest of our lives like this. Keep the noise level low but surely we don’t need to pussyfoot around like we are doing at the moment?’

  ‘She’s so very small,’ Bill protested as he gently eased back the shawl from the tiny face it was half covering. ‘She looks as though a puff of wind would blow her away.’

  ‘You won’t be saying that in a couple of months’ time when she is bawling her head off in the middle of the night,’ Tom said with a laugh.

  Jenny was mildly surprised at how quickly her own skills in babycare returned. She was far more confident and adept at handling the new baby than Karen was. Privately, she thought she even enjoyed bathing and feeding the tiny scrap more than Karen did.

  As the days passed Jenny was fully rewarded by seeing the new baby thrive. By the time she and Tom had decided to return to Wallasey, little Angela, as they had decided to call her, looked well and healthy and was feeding and sleeping without any problems.

  Karen, too, had the colour back in her cheeks, her energy was once again at its peak and she had taken over complete control of looking after little Angela.

  ‘I don’t know how I would have managed without you, Gran,’ she told Jenny gratefully as she kissed her goodbye.

  It was the Tuesday after Easter and both Tom and Jenny had decided it was time for them to return to Merseyside Mansions.

  ‘It’s great being here but it will be good to be back in a child-free zone again,’ Tom admitted. ‘Everything seems to revolve around the baby’s needs and routine.’

  ‘They’re besotted by her aren’t they,’ Jenny said happily. ‘I think that the fact that she was premature has a great deal to do with it. Now she’s as fit as any full-term baby. She’s probably even healthier than most of them because she’s been so protected ever since she was born.’

  ‘Well, Karen and Bill will have a few weeks together before it’s time for him to go back to school and by then Karen should be able to cope single-handed. If not, then she can always phone and let you know and I imagine you’ll come running back.’

  ‘I’m not too sure about that,’ Jenny said in a thoughtful voice. ‘You have been wonderful and I couldn’t have done it without your help, but now I think it is time for us to attend to our own needs and happiness and for me to put you first.’

  ‘You mean time to fix a new date for our wedding plans.’

  ‘If that is what you still want,’ Jenny agreed.

  ‘Don’t you?’

  ‘Yes, but I’m not nearly so worried about it now as I was a few months ago. I’ll be quite happy to simply live with you.’

  ‘Heavens above woman, I never thought to hear you say those sort of things,’ Tom said in a shocked voice.

  Jenny bit her lip, wondering if she had upset him, or made him see her in a new light. The last few weeks had been trying for both of them and had put a strain on their relationship.

  It was hardly fair on Tom to be expected to take on responsi-bilities concerning Karen, she thought uneasily.

  ‘In fact, I thought you were so concerned about Karen and her welfare that you hadn’t noticed that we’ve been sharing a bed together for the last few weeks, which is why I’ve not commented on it,’ Tom said drily.

  ‘Oh yes, I had noticed,’ Jenny told him. She wanted to say more, to tell him how comforting she had found it to sleep with his arm around her, as if protecting her from the world and all its worries. It had seemed so right that she knew she was going to miss their closeness when life returned to normal once again.

  If only she could be sure that he felt the same and could tell her that he needed her as much as she now knew she needed him.

  ‘I suppose it’s back to separate apartments when we reach Merseyside Mansions,’ he said, almost as if voicing her thoughts aloud.

  ‘If that’s what you want,’ Jenny said quietly and held her breath waiting for his reply.

  When Tom didn’t answer, Jenny felt a moment of panic. As she shot a sideways glance at him she saw his shoulders were shaking and his lips were tightly clenched and as their eyes met he exploded with laughter.

  For a moment she felt irritated and close to tears. She had found looking after Karen and her new baby much more stressful than she had expected and now she felt completely exhausted.

  Tom was quick to sense her mood. ‘Sorry,’ he said, grinning. ‘How could you ever for a moment have had any doubts. Of course I want us to be together, night and day, and I do want us to be married because I realize that in your heart of hearts you think it is right and proper to make things legal, but there is no hurry. You look as though you need a rest, a holiday even. I feel whacked myself. I had no idea that broken nights could drain you so much. Let’s put everything on hold for a couple of weeks and then start all our planning afresh.’

  Although she agreed with him, Jenny found that settling back into the normal pattern at Merseyside Mansions was not as easy as she had anticipated. To her surprise she missed the baby’s cries when its feeding time approached and she also found herself missing all the work attached to looking after it.

  Tom had settled back into his old routine almost at once and seemed to prefer being in his own flat rather than in hers. He seemed to be quite happy sorting out his cupboards and getting rid of things he said were either no longer needed or duplicated items she already had in her flat.

  Although
they had not yet decided whether to stay on at Merseyside Mansions or to buy a small house or bungalow, he seemed to be intent on spring cleaning and decorating his own place.

  ‘If I redecorate it right through then we can decide if we want to stay here in my flat or put it on the market. Either way it will be in good order. If we decide to stay on here then you can move your stuff in here and I can do a decorating job on your flat so that we can put that on the market.’

  ‘If we decide to stay on here then would you sooner we moved into your flat rather than mine?’ Jenny asked.

  ‘Well, it is the larger of the two,’ he pointed out. ‘Things would be rather cramped in your flat when Bill and Karen and the baby come to stay, whereas in mine we do have the spare bedroom.’

  ‘I wonder if they will want to come and stay though?’ Jenny mused.

  ‘You bet they will. Remember Bill gets quite long holidays, and they won’t be able to afford to spend months at a time in hotels, so if they fancy a cheap seaside holiday then where would be better than here?’

  Although Jenny knew quite well that what Tom was saying made sense, she felt reluctant to give up her cosy flat. For one thing, she had only to go a short distance to be out in the garden, whereas Tom had to walk along a passage and either take the lift or two flights of stairs to get outside the building.

  Perhaps, she mused, it would be better to move away; to find a house or bungalow. One of the joys of being at Karen’s house had been the sense of freedom it gave her to be able to open the kitchen door and step out into the garden; to be able to hang washing out of doors and wander through the garden whenever she felt the urge to do so, just as she had when she’d lived at Warren Point.

  She didn’t have to make up her mind right away, she told herself. In fact, they could even leave making a decision until after they were married. They had a roof over their heads, two in fact, so why not wait until they were both sure about what they wanted.

  At present she was finding the gossip and unimportant chatter that went on at Merseyside Mansions extremely tedious and irritating. But Tom merely shrugged their fellow residents’ remarks off or completely ignored them.

  ‘You’d probably find the isolation and lack of friendly faces even more difficult to contend with if we moved away,’ he warned, and she wondered if he was right.

  She was also well aware that there were other things to be considered. At present they had no worries about outside decorating or maintenance. Even the garden was attended to without them having to make a decision about it.

  Thirty-Eight

  They heard the telephone ringing as they approached Jenny’s flat on returning from a walk along the promenade. As Tom unlocked the door Jenny hurried to answer it, saying with a smile, ‘Whoever it is they’re determined that I’ll answer it.’

  When she lifted the receiver she was surprised to hear Bill’s voice say, ‘Hello, is that you, Jenny?’

  ‘Hello, Bill, is something the matter? You sound worried.’

  ‘There’s nothing wrong, well, not really, but I’m trying to speak to you before Karen comes back from the clinic.’

  ‘So there is something wrong … is it to do with the baby?’

  ‘No, no; nothing like that; she’s only paying a routine visit, the baby is fine, thriving in fact.’

  ‘So what is wrong, then?’

  ‘Well …’ He hesitated and Jenny heard him take a deep breath. ‘It’s just that I have a problem that’s all.’

  ‘Go on.’ Jenny held her breath, wondering what was the matter. She could hear Tom moving about in the kitchen filling the kettle and switching it on, then the rattle of the cups as he laid them out on a tray ready to make tea the moment the kettle boiled.

  ‘Well, it’s like this,’ Bill explained. ‘I have to go away next week, school trip to Belgium. I’d like to get out of it but it’s not possible and, well, the truth is I’m worried about Karen. I don’t like leaving her to cope with the baby for a whole week on her own.’

  Jenny was on the verge of pointing out that during the war mothers had been left to cope on their own for far longer than a week when their husbands went off to fight. But she knew that would be no comfort to Bill so she kept silent.

  ‘What I’m really trying to say, Jenny, is would you and Tom come and stay down here for the week while I’m away. I know it’s only a couple of weeks since you were here and that you probably want to get back to your normal commitments but …’

  ‘Oh, Bill, don’t sound so worried and apologetic,’ Jenny interrupted. ‘Of course we’ll come and stay for the week, no problem at all.’

  ‘You will?’

  The relief in his voice was so great that Jenny couldn’t help laughing.

  ‘You don’t have to sound like a condemned man reprieved right at the last minute,’ she said with a laugh.

  ‘Well, I can’t help feeling that it is rather an imposition to ask such a favour of you. Can you come next Friday? We leave early on Saturday morning and we don’t return until the following Sunday.’

  ‘Of course we will. Don’t give it another thought. Simply tell Karen of the arrangement,’ Jenny told him.

  Tom frowned when she conveyed Bill’s message and told him that she had agreed that they would go down and stay for the week with Karen.

  ‘What’s wrong? Why don’t you want to do it?’

  ‘I’m happy to help Bill out but at the moment it is rather inconvenient.’

  ‘What on earth do you mean?’

  ‘You seem to have forgotten that I’m in the middle of decorating my flat.’

  ‘Yes, I know you are but there’s no urgency is there?’

  ‘Well, yes. I want to complete it while I’m still in the mood for decorating.’

  ‘Surely a week won’t matter?’

  ‘It will to me. I want to get it finished and then do your flat. Anyway, it’s not a week, it’s ten days if we have to be there for Friday night and we don’t come home again until the Sunday.’

  He paused, then his face brightened. ‘I tell you what, why don’t you go and stay with Karen for the week and that will leave me free to devote all the time I want to finishing my painting job here. With any luck,’ he went on enthusiastically, ‘I can do your flat as well while you’re away and then we’ll have everything spruced up and we can go ahead and plan the date for our wedding.’

  ‘OK, I’m agreeable to that; in fact it sounds a splendid idea,’ Jenny agreed. ‘I’ll make enquiries about train times and let them know what time to expect me on Friday.’

  ‘There’s no need to do that. I’ll drive you down and then come straight back,’ Tom told her.

  The thought of spending a week alone with Karen and baby Angela pleased Jenny immensely. They really would have time to talk, take little walks together and go shopping. It would be so much more intimate than when Bill and Tom were there as well.

  They travelled down on Friday morning, deciding to make a day of it and stop somewhere for lunch. It was a glorious late spring day and Jenny felt excited and as light-hearted as if she was going on holiday.

  Well, she told herself, it would be a holiday in a way. Certainly it was something quite different. Secretly she was glad to be away from the upheaval the redecorating was causing. Everything seemed to be untidy and topsy-turvy and it made her feel irritable even though she did her best to conceal the fact from Tom.

  In truth she didn’t want her flat decorated; as far as she was concerned it was all right as it was. She knew Tom was being practical and that it meant that if they decided to stay on at Merseyside Mansions then whichever flat they elected to live in would be in pristine condition and so would the one they decided to sell. It also meant that if they agreed they wanted a bungalow then both flats could be out straight on to the market.

  Spending a week with Karen in her house, Jenny thought, would also give her a chance to decide if she really wanted to take on the responsibility of a house again.

  If they chose a bungal
ow there would be no stairs to contend with but there was bound to be a garden. Tom liked decorating and doing things around the flat but she wasn’t too sure that he was keen about gardening. He’d certainly never said that he missed having a garden.

  Perhaps a garden meant more to a woman than to a man, she mused. It was so lovely to peg out the washing and watch it blowing in the wind and then a few hours later gather in armfuls of fresh-smelling dry clothes rather than simply fish them out of a tumble dryer.

  It was also so invigorating to simply open the door and step outside and breath in fresh air first thing in the morning or on a hot close day.

  Strangely enough, she thought, Karen, like most of her generation, didn’t really appreciate this. There was no daily fluttering of white terry-towel nappies because she used disposable nappies for the baby and all the tiny baby clothes usually went into the washing machine not out on to the clothesline.

  They arrived at Karen’s just after three o’clock. Bill had not yet come home from the school but Tom said he wouldn’t stay as he wanted to get back.

  ‘I know your time will be taken up getting Bill on his way when he comes in and I’m busy decorating,’ he told Karen. ‘I’ll come back a week on Sunday to collect Jenny. You two enjoy yourselves next week.’

  Bill came home almost the moment Tom had left. He said he was sorry to have missed him but he was only in the house for about half an hour before he, too, left for his journey to Belgium. Along with the help of two other teachers he was taking a party of twenty boys and since it was the first time they had participated in such a venture it needed a great deal of supervision.

  As soon as they were alone Karen put the kettle on and they settled down to a cup of tea and to make plans for what they wanted to do in the coming week.

  ‘We have the car so we can get out and about and I can take you to see some of the local beauty spots or to visit some of the local National Trust places,’ Karen told her.