The Lost Souls Dating Agency

by Suneeti Rekhari

  I lifted the receiver again and placed it gingerly to my ear. Still no dial tone. Most peculiar.

  I looked at the note Roxanne had left on my desk. The phone call had been from a Mr Singh, enquiring about arranging a match for his daughter. There were no other details.

  Before I had a chance to ask Roxanne why there was no contact number for Mr Singh, the phone rang again. It made me jump with its shrill high-pitched ring.

  ‘Hello?’ I answered inquisitively. Roxanne watched me closely.

  ‘Is that Ms Shalini Gupta?’ a male voice asked. He pronounced my name faultlessly.

  ‘Yes, that’s me.’

  ‘I rang earlier about my daughter. I left a message with your secretary. Why haven’t you called me back?’ The man sounded annoyed.

  ‘I just got into the office, Mr Singh. I only just received your message.’ I didn’t know what else to say.

  ‘Lateness is not an excuse. Anyway, when can I make an appointment to see you?’

  ‘I-I’m free this afternoon,’ I stammered.

  ‘Fine, I will come at two p.m. sharp. Goodbye.’ He didn’t wait for me to confirm if the time suited me.

  I replaced the receiver on the phone. After a second I lifted it again, still no dial tone. How had Mr Singh managed to call with no dial tone? Also, since I didn’t know my own phone number, how had Mr Singh managed to get it?

  ‘Roxanne, I think we need to brew another pot of tea. This needs serious thinking.’ We pondered the phone mystery the rest of the morning. We concluded that Mr Singh must be some kind of supernatural, perhaps he arranged for the phone? It would explain him contacting Lost Souls. But why?

  ***

  It was nearing two in the afternoon and I sat patiently at my desk, reading the news on my laptop. I could hear Roxanne in the adjacent room nervously shuffling papers.

  At one minute to two p.m., I heard the door open, the sound of footsteps and then it shut again. A gruff voice said, ‘I am here for an appointment with Ms Gupta.’

  ‘Right this way,’ Roxanne said clearly. She appeared at the doorway. ‘I have your two o’clock appointment, Ms Gupta,’ she said professionally.

  In walked a short, broad man, wearing a long white cotton shirt and linen pants. He had sandals on his feet. They were well made, but casual. I stood up and smiled, and pointed to the seat on the other side of my desk. ‘Please sit down, Mr Singh.’

  ‘Thank you.’ He seemed to be permanently grumpy. He had furrow lines on his forehead. He sat down heavily.

  ‘Now, how can I help you?’

  ‘As I said over the phone in my first message,’ he turned around to look at Roxanne, who quickly left the room, ‘I have come about my daughter, Jaya. She is nearly twenty-two and still no hope of finding a husband. I am becoming desperate! So I have come to your agency.’

  Desperate at twenty-two? Wow.

  I didn’t notice any outward signs of the supernatural about him. I wondered what he was.

  ‘Well, Mr Singh, do you know about the particular clientele we offer matchmaking services to?’

  ‘Yes of course, why do you think I am here?’

  ‘So can I ask what you are?’ I tried to be as delicate as I could.

  ‘My clan is descendent from Bahadur Singh, of the ancient Ragosh family,’ he said pompously.

  I looked at him blankly.

  ‘We are wolves, Ms Gupta,’ he testily explained.

  ‘You’re a family of werewolves?’ I blurted.

  ‘Not necessarily. Our pack is wolf and my form is the wolf. My wife’s form is a tigress, she is descendent from the Sher-Shah dynasty,’ he said this proudly. ‘My daughter Jaya,’ he hesitated, ‘she has recently started turning into a kangaroo.’ He seemed self-conscious mentioning this.

  This was way too much to take in.

  Mr Singh continued, ‘I say recently because when she was a child she used to turn into a little wolf. But in the last two years, she has been turning into a bloody kangaroo. Who has ever heard of a were-kangaroo I ask you?’ His bulbous eyes doubled in size.

  Not me, that’s for sure. I remained silent. Mr Singh resumed, ‘I blame Australia. I came here twenty years ago to give my family a better chance. You know how badly were-animals are treated in India? So much superstition, tsk.’ He pounded his finger on my desk. ‘I am an educated man, Ms Gupta, I could not stand by and see my family suffer and hide and live in fear because of who we are. So I came here. But now, look at the consequence. My daughter turns into a jumping animal and she refuses to listen to me! Yes, it’s high time she was married.’

  I merely nodded. A were-kangaroo with glowing red eyes and sharp pointy teeth was the image that kept flashing in my head. I tried not to laugh. ‘Mr Singh, that’s a very brave decision, bringing your family here.’ He appeared placated when I said that. I composed myself for my next question. ‘Can I ask why your daughter isn’t here to have a say in who she wants to marry?’

  ‘Bah, sentimental nonsense, this choosing and love stuff.’ Mr Singh sat back in his chair. ‘I have no time for it. Besides, marriage is not about whom she wants to be with, but who her family decide is best for her.’

  I’d heard this view about marriage before, it was nonetheless confronting to hear it from him.

  ‘Mr Singh, marriage is a serious undertaking, surely your daughter needs a say in who she spends the rest of her life with,’ I said forcefully.

  ‘Ms Gupta, Jaya is the light of my life.’ His face softened tenderly. ‘I have watched her grow since she was big enough to fit in my two hands. Her mother and I know her every mood, her likes and dislikes, her strengths and her shortcomings. How can I do anything except what is best for her?’

  I looked at the earnest man sitting across my desk. He was hard to refuse.

  ‘Okay, Mr Singh, I will help you find a partner for your daughter.’

  ‘Good. Now what are your charges?’ In the blink of an eye, the tenderness from his voice was gone.

  I spent the rest of the afternoon discussing Jaya with Mr Singh. I wanted to meet with her as soon as possible.

  Mr Singh was hesitant. ‘I can tell you everything you need to know,’ he said. ‘She doesn’t need to be here.’

  I insisted and explained it was part of my “client assessment procedure”. A procedure I had only just come up with. Mr Singh nodded, impressed by my professional sounding words. I mainly wanted to know if the girl truly wanted marriage. I would hate to be a part of anything forced.

  At the end of the day, we shook hands amicably. But before I bid him farewell, I had one last question.

  ‘Mr Singh, how did you get my phone number?’

  ‘Your advertisement in The Mythical Weekly. I knew how to contact you,’ he replied with a shrug.

  I was astonished to hear this. I distinctly remember being annoyed at the newspaper for neglecting to publish my contact details. He added, ‘Also I heard that a vampire from Albion was pleased with the results from your agency. Usually I stay out of vampire business — spiteful creatures — but it piqued my interest. I’ve never heard of a supernatural matchmaking agency before.’

  Good old Victor!

  Before I could say anything further, Mr Singh hurried out of my office. I followed him to the door. He nodded at Roxanne on his way out. She gazed at him and me in wonder as he shut the door.

  Chapter 23

  ‘So now you’re telling me werewolves are real?’ Megan sniggered the next day when we walked to class at uni. ‘First vampires, and now werewolves. Let’s see, what else goes boo in the night?’

  ‘Stop it. I’m serious! He was so funny. Very tender about his daughter one minute and all shrewd and businesslike the next. I can’t wait to meet her, his daughter that is. It sounds like a fascinating case.’

  ‘I like how you call them cases and your clients. These are not mysteries you’re solving, Miss Marple,’ Megan teased.

  ‘Oh but isn’t love a great big mystery?’ I chuckled.

  ‘Well I’m h
aving no luck with it here at nerd central.’ Megan sighed.

  ‘Where have all the cute young journalism graduates gone?’ I asked mischievously.

  ‘To engineering, or accountancy I’m told. Not many young men in the liberal arts.’

  ‘That’s sexist!’

  ‘That’s the sad truth,’ Megan concluded.

  ‘Well I’ll keep my eyes open then.’

  ‘No thanks, I don’t want a mythical boyfriend.’ Megan rolled her eyes.

  I knew my friend was being flippant, but I asked her seriously, ‘Megs, do you think Lost Souls is unethical?’

  She paused. ‘That depends on who you ask. Like you said, doesn’t everyone deserve a chance at love?’

  I still felt uneasy. What’s to say that Victor would not tire of Fiona one day? What would happen then? He could turn her into a vampire, if that was what Fiona wanted. But what if she didn’t? I forced myself to stop this self-doubt. Every relationship had its perils. I just wished the ones I arranged didn’t come with a life-time expiration date…

  ***

  The next day, I was sitting in the office looking through cut-outs from The Mythical Weekly and making notes, when I heard the main door open. A female voice addressed Roxanne. I picked up the cut-outs and shoved them in my desk drawer as Roxanne entered my office with the visitor. She was tall and slim, dressed attractively in a colourful cotton skirt and long hooped earrings. I recognised Jaya instantly. She had the look of Mr Singh about her.

  ‘Roxanne, could you bring us some tea please?’ I asked before Roxanne left the room. She nodded.

  I looked at the visitor. ‘Jaya Singh, I presume?’

  ‘That’s me.’ The girl sighed. She looked thoroughly underwhelmed.

  ‘Your father didn’t tell me you would be coming today.’

  ‘My father doesn’t know I’m here. Otherwise he would have insisted on coming along.’

  ‘So did your father tell you why he came to visit me a few days ago?’ I asked casually.

  ‘Sure.’ Jaya’s dark eyes looked straight into mine. ‘My father wants you to find me a husband. He thinks that will solve everything.’ She looked away after she said that.

  ‘Solve what in particular?’

  ‘Oh the trouble he thinks we are having, mainly caused by me and my tendency to turn into a particular marsupial once or twice a month.’ She didn’t bat an eyelid as she said this. Neither did I.

  ‘He explained about your…’ I wasn’t sure what to call it.

  ‘My peculiarity?’ Jaya finished for me.

  ‘Okay, your peculiarity. Yes, your father was concerned about it.’

  ‘Did he tell you why?’

  ‘He blamed your family’s migration to Australia for it.’

  ‘Hah! Typical.’ Jaya’s laugh was hard edged. ‘Well that’s partly right,’ she looked past me, through the bay window behind my desk, into the distance, ‘but he doesn’t know everything.’

  I remained silent. I wanted Jaya to continue. Roxanne walked in with cups of tea. She placed them with a smile on my desk. She sensed the quiet and turned to walk out the door glancing at me. I nodded thanks.

  Jaya picked a cup and sipped it.

  ‘Nice tea,’ she said absent-mindedly.

  ‘Thanks. I love my tea. I’m pretty sure it can cure the world’s ills.’

  ‘Can it cure mine?’ Jaya asked.

  ‘Perhaps.’

  Jaya smiled, it made her finely-featured face shine.

  ‘So you were telling me about your father…’ I coaxed.

  ‘He thinks that we are a normal traditional Indian family, that he can find me a husband in the old way and everything will be okay. But we are anything but normal. Sometimes I think he forgets that.’

  I waited for Jaya to continue.

  ‘Look, Ms Gupta —’

  ‘Please call me Shalini.’

  ‘Shalini, I love my father and I love my family. But sometimes I just wish I wasn’t me, you know?’

  I did know. I nodded sympathetically.

  ‘I can’t go on hunts with them like I used to when I was a child,’ Jaya continued sadly.

  My interest was piqued. ‘I’m not sure I understand.’

  ‘At the full lunar cycle, when my family transforms and goes on a hunt with other members of the were-community, I have to make sure I don’t turn with them. Wolves and kangaroos don’t really make good hunting partners,’ Jaya sighed, ‘and though I know my family would never hurt me, we have to be careful, mainly because sometimes it’s hard to control urges in our altered state.’

  ‘Is it unusual for members of the same family to turn into different creatures?’ I asked curiously. I didn’t know much about the were-world, but this seemed unusual, even to me.

  ‘Not very, my mother is a tigress, and she gets along with the wolves in our pack community. I think they have the same instinct to kill.’ Jaya was unemotional. ‘Most members of our hunting community are wolves.’

  Out of curiosity I asked, ‘And where does this community go to hunt?’

  ‘Oh the Dandenong Ranges to the south of the city are usually good,’ Jaya replied nonchalantly.

  What would the humans at Dandenong think of their were-visitors?

  Jaya added, ‘They’re careful not to be seen or heard. It’s harder in Australia because there are no native wolves and tigers. My mother was spotted once many years ago and it was in the news. As you can imagine, that was a tense time for us.’

  Actually, I found it very hard to imagine.

  ‘I think in many ways, I have it easiest. No one even blinks when they see me. I am free to wander as I please. I just have to be careful around highways.’ Jaya shrugged. ‘Anyway, I didn’t come here to give you a lesson on the habits of were-creatures. What I wanted to say was that my father might think he has my best interests in mind, but I really don’t see how this will change things.’

  ‘What things in particular?’ I searched her face for answers.

  ‘He thinks I’m an unhappy loner,’ Jaya said unemotionally.

  ‘Are you?’ I asked quickly.

  ‘Sometimes…sometimes I am. But other times I can’t wait for the full moon so I can have time away from everything, even my family.’ After another pause, she added, ‘Especially my family.’

  ‘Jaya, do you want to get married?’ I used the direct approach.

  Jaya considered the question carefully.

  ‘I’m ready to find someone to share my life with. If that means marriage, so be it.’

  Her answer was very unconvincing.

  ‘Are you just doing this so you can get away from it all?’

  ‘Isn’t that what marriage is for?’ Jaya laughed. I considered the girl seated in front of me. It was so hard to assess her situation.

  Jaya stood up from her chair. ‘It was nice to meet you, Shalini. I was curious to see the matchmaker my father had talked about. You’re nothing like what I expected.’

  ‘Thanks, I think.’ I smiled.

  ‘Can I ask, do you have any experience with the were-community?’

  ‘No. Your family are my first were-clients,’ I replied frankly.

  ‘And how are you going to go about finding me a husband?’ Jaya asked with a twinkle in her eyes.

  I was wondering this myself. ‘I’ll be honest with you, I’m not sure…yet.’

  Jaya looked at me for a moment then burst into giggles. ‘This is going to be more fun than I thought!’

  ‘Great,’ I said grudgingly.

  ‘I’ll look forward to hearing about your search!’ And with that she majestically swooped out of my office.

  Chapter 24

  It took me ages to fall into a fitful sleep that night. At six a.m. after tossing and turning the entire night, I finally gave up. I crawled out of bed and watched the morning light slowly emerge through my kitchen window. I had no idea how to arrange dates for Jaya.

  I felt irritable from my lack of sleep. Plus I hadn’t heard from Will since his ha
sty retreat from our lunch. Not even a message on my phone. Thinking about that made me grumpier. I left for the warehouse early. Roxanne was not in yet. I went to make myself a cuppa, but the canister was empty. Great start to the morning. Ugh.

  I sat wearily on the sofa in my office, thinking, unsure of what to do next for Jaya. The key was contacting members of the were-community. But how?

  I closed my eyes and leaned back on the sofa. When I opened them again, the red phone on my desk glared at me. I had a thought. Jaya’s father had contacted me so easily on it. Would it work the other way? It was worth a try. I quickly walked to it and lifted the receiver. There was still no dial tone.

  ‘Huh-hullo?’ I said tentatively. There was silence on the line.

  I tried again. ‘Umm is there an operator? Operator please.’ I heard a faint click and a second later a smart sounding young woman said, ‘This is the operator.’

  Unbelievable! It’s always the simplest solutions.

  ‘Oh hello,’ I faltered.

  ‘How can I be of assistance?’ the operator asked.

  ‘Oh I was wondering if you could get me in touch with the pack leader of the were-community of Melbourne?’ Uh, pack leader? That sounded ridiculous.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ the operator’s voice said politely, ‘we are not allowed to disclose that information for security reasons.’

  Hmm. I tried again. ‘Who am I able to contact in the were-community then?’

  There was silence. I thought the operator was gone. Then the smart voice said, ‘One moment please,’ and she transferred me to a ringing line.

  ‘Hello,’ a male voice on the other end said, and I was ready to say an excited hello, when I realised it was a recorded message, ‘you have reached the office of Steven Gilmore. I am unable to take your call at the moment. Please state your name and your business clearly and I’ll call you back.’ Beep.

  I was caught unprepared. I stammered a little. ‘Oh hello, Mr Gilmore, this is Shalini Gupta, I was hoping to talk to someone about Jaya Singh, I believe she is a member of your community.’ I was at a loss to continue, so cut it short. ‘If you can call me back that would be great.’ But where should I tell him to call? I didn’t know the number of my mysterious red phone and I was hesitant to leave my mobile number. Instead I said, ‘If you ask the operator for the Lost Souls Agency, it will connect to me. Thanks!’