A Season of Love

by Amy Clipston

  “Ya.” He moved close to her and smiled. “Frehlicher Grischtdaag, mei liewe.”

  “Matthew,” she said, her mind swirling with the meaning of the gift. “This is such an elaborate gift. I never expected you to do something so tremendous for me. I only got you a couple of tools Onkel Daniel told me you’d needed.”

  “Danki,” he said. “I’m certain I’ll need the tools while I start to build my new haus this year.”

  “Your new haus?” Her eyes widened. “You’re moving?”

  “I won’t be far.” He gestured in the direction of the pasture beyond the barn. “I already told you mei schweschder is going to give me some land. I’m ready to start building.”

  “Oh.” She studied his eyes, wondering what this all meant. “I’m froh for you.”

  “I am too.” He took her hands in his. “But I need to know how many bedrooms you want.”

  “How many bedrooms I want?” Her heart thudded against her rib cage and her mind raced with questions.

  “Ya,” he said. “How many bedrooms should our haus have?”

  She swallowed a gasp. Is he asking what I think he’s asking?

  His smile was wide. “You haven’t answered me. I need to know so I can start on the plans right away.”

  “I don’t know.” Her response was a trembling whisper. “How many do you want?”

  “I would like mei fraa to decide that,” he said, squeezing her hands. “That’s if you’ll be mei fraa.”

  She couldn’t take this game anymore. Matthew had to say what he meant before she screamed in frustration. “What are you asking me, Matthew Glick?”

  “Lindsay Bedford,” he began, “will you marry me next fall?”

  “Yes,” she said as her eyes filled with tears and her heart pounded in her chest.

  “Danki,” he said. “Frehlicher Grischtdaag, mei liewe,” he repeated.

  “Frehlicher Grischtdaag,” she said. “This is the best Christmas ever!”

  Lindsay couldn’t wipe the smile off her face as Matthew guided his horse into her uncle’s driveway. Lindsay was engaged! Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine Matthew would ask her this soon.

  She climbed from the buggy just as her uncle appeared from the barn.

  “Hello,” Daniel said. “I was wondering when you would be heemet.”

  “We made a stop at Matthew’s house,” Lindsay said before turning to Matthew. “I’m going to go tell mei aenti and Jessica.”

  Matthew smiled. “You go ahead. I’ll have Daniel help me with the hope chest.”

  Lindsay hurried up the porch steps and through the kitchen. When she found the family room empty, she continued up the stairs. She found her sister and cousins visiting with her aunt Rebecca.

  “Lindsay!” Rebecca said, sitting up in bed. “You look like you just ran a mile.”

  “I feel like I did,” Lindsay said. Her heart pounded in her chest both from running and from the news she had to share. She sank onto the bed next to Rebecca. Emma held up her arms, and Lindsay pulled her little cousin onto her lap and kissed her cheek. “Hi, Emmy!”

  “What took you so long to get home?” Jessica asked with a suspicious expression. She sat in the chair across from the bed with Junior in her lap.

  “I told you I had to stop at Matthew’s haus,” Lindsay said. “He had something to give me.”

  “Did he leave already?” Rebecca asked, adjusting her pillow behind her back. “I was hoping to see him and wish him and his schweschder’s family a Frehlicher Grischtdaag.”

  “He’ll be up soon with my gift.” Lindsay sucked in a deep breath. “He got me something special. It’s heavy too. His bruder-in-law had to help him load it, and Onkel Daniel has to help him carry it into the house and up to my room.”

  “What is it?” Jessica asked, annoyance sounding in her voice. “The anticipation is killing me.”

  Lindsay smiled. “It’s a hope chest. It used to be his mamm’s. He refinished it for me.”

  “Oh, my,” Jessica said. “That sounds pretty special. Like it has a hidden meaning.”

  “That’s very extravagant,” Rebecca said. “Most Amish buwe don’t give a gift that expensive to their girlfriends at Christmas, Lindsay.”

  “I know,” Lindsay said. “I told him I couldn’t accept it, but he insisted. I also said I only got him a couple of tools, and he said he’ll need them to build his new haus.”

  “New house?” Jessica said.

  “He asked me how many bedrooms I want in the haus,” Lindsay said, her voice quaking with excitement. She placed Emma on the bed next to her aunt.

  “Oh, Lindsay,” her aunt said. “He asked you to marry him?”

  Lindsay nodded. Rebecca pulled her into a hug while Jessica squealed.

  “When are you getting married, Linds?” Jessica asked.

  “Next fall.” Lindsay wiped her eyes where tears had gathered. “I’m so excited.”

  “I can’t believe it,” Jessica said. “My little sister is getting married!” She placed Junior onto the floor. “Wow! This is unexpected news.”

  “I know,” Lindsay said, hugging her sister. “I never expected him to ask me this soon.”

  “I’m not surprised,” Rebecca said, wiping her eyes. “I knew he cared for you. I’m glad you’re going to wait a year, though. There’s no rush. Maybe the haus will be almost complete before the wedding. I guess it depends on how quickly he gets started.”

  Lindsay smiled at her aunt. “I’m so very froh. This is the most wunderbaar gut Christmas.”

  Jessica opened her arms. “Give me a hug, Linds. This is big news.”

  Lindsay laughed as she hugged her. “Yes, it is big news. I wish Mom was here.”

  “Me too,” Jessica said softly. “But I’m glad I’m here to celebrate with you.”

  Boots scraped the stairs, and Lindsay took Jessica’s hand. “Come with me and see my hope chest. It’s so beautiful!” She pulled her sister down the hall to where Matthew and Daniel were entering her room with the hope chest in their hands. “I’m glad you’re here too.”

  While looking at the hope chest, Lindsay said a silent prayer for Katie, asking God to bring her the same happiness He’d bestowed upon Lindsay.

  22

  Katie glanced out her bedroom window and watched the last horse and buggy make its way toward the road. She knew once the guests were gone she’d have to face her parents. Dread filled her at the thought of enduring another painful conversation with her father about Jake. She had to swallow her heartbreak and face her punishment with all of the strength she could muster in her body.

  Her stomach rumbled as she sat on her bed. Until that moment, she hadn’t realized her last meal had been breakfast early this morning. It was now after six, and her stomach felt hollow.

  Heavy footsteps in the hallway caused her body to quake. She moved to the chair by her bed and took a deep breath. A loud knock sounded on her door.

  “Come in.” Her voice was tiny, making her sound like a scared little girl. She sat up straight, hoping to look mature and ready to handle her punishment.

  The door banged open in a fast whoosh, and her father entered the room. His large body seemed to dwarf the doorway like a giant. “Katie,” he began, “you’ve had ample time to consider your behavior today.”

  She nodded while he stood near the doorway.

  “I’m still trying to understand why you would disobey me. I took pity on you and let you off your punishment earlier than I had originally intended. Yet you continue to break the rules. Have you learned nothing?” His eyes bore into hers, causing her posture to wilt. “Why would you think sneaking out to the barn to meet Jake Miller would be acceptable?”

  “I didn’t sneak out,” she said. “I just wanted to talk to him.”

  “But you knew you weren’t allowed to talk to him.” His voice rose. “What do I have to do to get you to stop being disobedient?”

  “I don’t know,” she said.

  “You don’t kno
w?” He pointed his finger toward her. “I can tell you this, Katie Joy. If you speak to Jacob Miller again, I will tell the bishop about your behavior, and you will have to confess your transgressions in front of the community or be sent to live with cousins in western Pennsylvania.”

  Katie cleared her throat and ignored the tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. She was strong, and she wouldn’t appear weak and cry in front of him. She had to stand up for herself. “I love Jake, and nothing can change that.”

  “What?” Her father’s voice reverberated against the walls. “You’re continuing to defy me?”

  “I can’t stop loving him,” Katie said. “If that’s considered defiance, then, yes, I’m defying you.”

  “And your community. You shouldn’t even consider a bu outside of our community, Katie Joy.” His expression was filled with frustration. “You took a vow, and then you proceeded to break it not even six months after your baptism. I don’t understand you at all.”

  His words stung. Didn’t her father remember what falling in love for the first time felt like? Didn’t her father have any feelings at all? What made him so cold and unfeeling?

  “We can’t help who we love,” she whispered. “Don’t you remember when you fell in love with Mamm? I’m certain it wasn’t planned.”

  “How dare you compare my love for your mamm with your inappropriate feelings for that Mennonite bu!” He jabbed his finger at her in anger. “You knew not to get involved with a Mennonite bu. You made a conscious decision to behave improperly and embarrass our family. I’m very disappointed in you, Katie Joy.”

  His words caused anger to flood through her. How could he accuse her of all of those horrible things? Although it would appear even more disobedient, she was determined to stand up for herself and the truth.

  “Embarrass our family?” she asked, gesturing widely with her arms. “How did I embarrass our family, Daed? No one saw me with Jake. Members of our family speak to Englishers and Mennonites all the time.”

  Her father glared at her. “Don’t twist this around, Katie. I heard the conversation. You were speaking of love and relationship. You want to be his girlfriend. This was about more than just a friendly conversation. He’s touched you before. And he hugged you again!”

  “It’s true,” she said, tears spilling from her eyes. “He hugged me. I do want to be his girlfriend and I love him. I’m confused, Daed. I don’t know how to turn these feelings off.”

  “You can control your feelings, Katie Joy,” he said. “You’re old enough to know and understand the rules by which we live.”

  “What’s my punishment?” She wanted to finish this conversation and move on. The pain in her heart was enough to endure without her father’s cold and accusing words.

  His eyes narrowed. “Don’t be so prideful, Katie Joy. This is a serious situation.”

  “I know.” She kept her voice even, despite her frustration. “Please tell me what you’d like my punishment to be, Daed.”

  “I want you out of this haus. You’re not a good influence or role model for your younger schweschdern.” He shook a finger at her again. “I’ll call my cousin in the morning and buy a bus ticket for you to go out there and stay with him and his family for a while. Maybe they can instill some respect in you.”

  “That’s it?” Her voice squeaked with her emotional pain. “You’re sending me away? I’m your flesh and blood, but you disown me so easily?”

  “I’ve tried with you, Katie,” he shouted. “I’ve tried and tried with you, but you never learn. You’re not the dochder I raised. You’re not a part of this family anymore. You’re dead to me.”

  “Dead to you?” she whispered, a sob choking her voice.

  “Start packing your things. Samuel will take you to your grandparents’ haus. I’ll call and leave a message, telling them why I’m sending you there. You’ll leave for western Pennsylvania in the morning. I want you downstairs in ten minutes.” He marched through the door and slammed it closed.

  With her tears splattering her hot cheeks, Katie filled a small suitcase with clothing and a few toiletries.

  Katie glanced around her room and wondered if she would ever be welcome in her father’s home again. How she would miss her late-night chats with Nancy and her cooking projects with Janie. Life would not be the same without her family.

  Jake considered what he would say to the bishop while he drove toward the Chupp farm. His instinct told him to speak from his heart, which was what he planned to do. He prayed the Lord would give him the right words to convince the bishop becoming Amish was the right path for him.

  After parking near the front door of the bishop’s two-story white house, Jake sucked in a deep breath. His hands trembled as he yanked his keys from the ignition. He knew this conversation would be life changing, and a mixture of excitement and anxiety surged through him while he strode up the path to the porch.

  Jake climbed the stairs and knocked on the door. He folded his arms over his chest in order to prevent himself from wringing his hands. After a few minutes, he knocked again.

  Receiving no answer, Jake jogged down the steps and headed to the back of the house, where he spotted Abner Chupp walking from the barn to the back door. Jake moved toward him and waved when the bishop met his gaze.

  The old man stopped and squinted toward Jake. “Jacob

  Miller?”

  “Hi, Bishop,” Jake said with a little wave. “How are you?”

  “I’m well,” Abner said, looking curious. “Is there something that you need, Jacob?”

  “I was hoping to speak with you. Is now a good time?” Jake cleared his throat while gathering his thoughts. “It’s a personal matter.”

  “Oh.” Abner glanced toward a picnic table sitting next to a swing set. “Would you like to have a seat?”

  “Danki.” Jake followed him to the picnic table where they sat across from each other on the cold wooden planks. “I appreciate your time. I know I should’ve called first.”

  “It’s no problem,” Abner said, folding his hands in front of him on the table. “What can I do for you, Jacob?”

  Jake paused for a moment and then decided to plow forward with the full truth. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and praying, and I want to know what I would need to do to become Amish.”

  “Ach.” The bishop’s eyes flew open as if he were startled by an unexpected noise. “You want to be Amish?” He asked the question slowly as if trying to comprehend the words.

  “Yes,” Jake said. “I know this year’s baptism class is over, and I will have to go to another district, but I felt I should speak with you first since you’re my grandparents’ bishop. You also know my parents.”

  The bishop studied Jake while fingering his long, gray beard. “This is something you’ve been considering for a while?”

  “Yes and no,” Jake said, shaking his head and wondering how to explain his confusing feelings. “I’ve spent the past two months in prayer about my life, and today I realized I belong here in this community.” He tapped the picnic table for emphasis. “I feel God has told me to become a part of the Amish church.”

  “But your mamm left before you were born.” The bishop’s expression was pointed. “It’s rare an Englisher joins our community. What are your true intentions?”

  “I know it’s rare, but it happens,” Jake said. “What about Lindsay Bedford? She joined this year.”

  The bishop looked unconvinced. “She’s living among the Amish currently. Of course she wanted to join the community.”

  “My life is very similar to Lindsay’s,” Jake said. “I work with the Amish and my relatives are Amish. My closest friends are Amish.” He paused and considered what else was in his heart. “My grandfather taught me how to work with wood in his shop on his farm. I knew when I was a little boy I wanted to be a carpenter. I also loved being at his house. I remember going to worship with him a few times when I spent the weekend at his house. I learned Dietsch from my grandparents, and
I understood most of the sermon at Samuel Kauffman’s wedding.” He cupped his hand to his chest. “My heart belongs in this community, and I’m ready to start living like a true member of the community.”

  The bishop’s expression softened. “Are you certain your reasons are pure?”

  Jake paused and thought of Katie and knew he needed to be honest with the bishop. “The truth is, I’m in love with Katie Kauffman. I need to find a way to bridge the gap between our religions. We can’t be together unless she becomes Mennonite or I become Amish. I can’t expect her to become Mennonite because she loves her family and this community too much. It makes more sense for me to become Amish, and I want to do that for her. I love her that much.”

  Abner studied Jake. “You’re saying you want to convert in order to date Katie Kauffman?” He looked suspicious. “It’s not my place to judge, but I’m not certain that’s a pure reason to become Amish, son.”

  “My reasons are pure because it was God who brought me to this decision after weeks and weeks of praying. This wasn’t a hasty decision,” Jake said. “I’ve searched my heart and soul, and I know I need to convert in order to be with her. It’s the only way for us to be together. I feel God brought us together, and His path has led me here.” He tapped the table again. “I can’t live without Katie. I can’t take the pain of being forbidden from seeing her, and I’ll sacrifice anything to be with her. She’s suffered a lot because of me, and I can’t stand to see her suffer anymore.”

  The bishop rubbed his beard and was silent for a moment. “You truly believe God put this decision in your heart?”

  “Absolutely,” Jake said, emphasizing the word. “I could never have decided this without His guidance.”

  Abner paused. “I believe you. And I also know the truth about that day you were hugging Katie by the side of the road.”

  “What do you mean?” Jake asked, his words cautious.

  “Katie had been attacked by three young men,” Abner said. “You saved her. I was wrong to accuse her of behaving inappropriately in public with you.”

  Jake gasped. “How did you find out the truth?”