Pieces of Love

by PJ Sharon

  My heart skipped when Ethan interjected on my behalf. “But think of all the incredible art, literature, and music the world would be missing out on if people didn’t take the risk and commit their lives to their passion.”

  “That’s true,” said Maddie as she ducked back out into the bright sunshine, Ethan and I at her heels. “But you’re smart to follow in your father’s footsteps and choose a medical education. There will always be a need for doctors, and you’ll have the means to make a comfortable life for yourself and your family one day.” Maddie fanned her face with the beautifully painted Spanish fan she’d picked up in one of the artisan shops.

  Ethan and I exchanged a look. It wasn’t worth arguing with adults who thought they knew best what kids should do with their lives. It didn’t matter that she had followed her dream regardless of the impact it had on her family. Maybe she was speaking from experience, but I couldn’t help but wonder if her advice had more to do with what she hadn’t done than what she had.

  Chapter 12

  After a full day in Barcelona, we returned to the ship, showered, and dressed for dinner. I wore a long, colorful skirt, my flat sandals, and a plain red top with puffy, three-quarter length sleeves with peek holes along the seams, happy to look more like one of the locals than a tourist on a cruise ship.

  Dinner consisted of five courses of decadent gourmet dishes, opulent desserts, and entertainment from the crew throughout. Men hustled out in single file lines, singing and dancing as they served our meals, their happy expressions a contagion among the passengers, as if not a care in the world existed beyond the chandeliered dining room. As amazing as it all was, I couldn’t see it as a lifestyle I would want to adopt. I couldn’t help feeling like I was staring through a window, looking in on a world where I didn’t belong.

  Ethan joined us again—a relief, seeing that Maddie’s constant nit-picking about my straight hair, thin eyebrows, and slouchy posture was seriously getting on my nerves. She couldn’t seem to stop herself from commenting on the exterior faults of others, so at least it wasn’t only me.

  If she saw people who were overweight, she pointed out that they should spend a little time at the gym and less time at the buffet. If she noticed a couple bickering, she would comment on how they should keep their quarrels private and consider themselves lucky to have one another. More than one passenger turned an evil eye our way. Her lack of social filters was embarrassing at the least and totally superficial and annoying at worst. I kept my mouth shut though, and let Ethan distract her with his charming smile and easy conversation.

  “What would you like to do after dinner, Mrs. Hartman...Maddie,” he corrected, clearly uncomfortable calling her by her first name.

  “Well, I thought I might catch a game of blackjack in the casino.” She eyed Ethan and me, a conspiratorial grin curving her lips. “I hear there’s a good action movie playing in the theater tonight—something with that hunky Rock fellow. Why don’t the two of you go? I’ll be fine on my own. You know, I’m quite a card shark. Those blackjack dealers won’t know what hit them.” She dabbed her mouth with her napkin and set it on the table, pushing away and checking her watch. “I’ll expect to see you back in the room right after the movie, Alexis. Is that understood?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” I hated being treated like a child, but I guessed I’d earned her mistrust after my party-going stunt back in Malibu. It wasn’t like there was any trouble I could get into here on the ship. Unless one of the young staffers had a stash of weed somewhere on board, the worst I could do was get caught naked with Ethan. Tingles skittered up my arms and I stared at my empty dessert plate.

  Where had that thought come from? I hardly knew him, though it felt on some level like I’d known him my whole life. He was sweet and cute, funny and sensitive—in a manly sort of way. His overall kindness and ability to understand me when I didn’t really even understand myself put him in what Maddie would call a “keeper” category for boyfriends. He seemed so different from any boy I’d ever met before. Most of the guys at school were jerks, only looking for an easy hook-up or some arm candy to make them look cool. I wasn’t the type to jump into relationships, but being so far from home in such an exotic location made me feel...reckless.

  Ethan rose from the table when Maddie stood up. “I’ll deliver her to her room personally.” The tone of possessiveness in his voice sent another warm tingle to new parts of me I was trying desperately to ignore. I cleared my throat and gave my grandmother a smile and a nod before she turned and followed the crowd.

  “You really know how to handle her,” I commented as Ethan’s gaze locked on mine with a mischievous glint. The hair on my arms stood up and heat crept into my cheeks.

  “She’s no different than any other adult. If you figure out what they want to hear, you can pretty much have them eating out of your hand.” He pulled my chair out, his hand coming to rest on my elbow as I stood. My pulse escalated and the heat in my face intensified.

  “Wow, you sound kind of diabolical. Should I risk sitting in a dark theater with you?”

  He laughed. “C’mon. I’m only kidding...sort of.” He raised a brow and walked alongside me as we exited the dining room and headed for the stairs. I had no idea where the movie theater was, but Ethan negotiated the twists and turns as if he’d lived on board forever. “Besides, there’s no sense in doing things the hard way,” he finished as we rounded another curve.

  “I know what you mean,” I said. “It’s just easier to say whatever...no one really wants to hear the truth, anyway. I’m tired of playing the game, aren’t you?”

  “Believe me, I hear you. I don’t think I’ve ever had a real conversation with my dad.” His voice sounded sad and I sensed he was genuinely hurt.

  “What would you say to him if you could tell him the most honest thing about yourself?”

  Ethan stopped and turned to me. “Do you really want to go see the movie? I thought maybe we could walk around out on the Promenade deck and talk instead.”

  “Sure. That sounds great.”

  We pushed through a set of double wooden doors and out onto the deck. A balmy breeze lifted my hair, the straight wisps floating around my face and tickling my skin. I ran my fingers through it and tucked the strands behind my ears. The ship had left port a few hours before, and the only evidence of land was the far off lights that twinkled along the distant shore. A deep purple sky melted to a salmony pink along the horizon where the sun had dipped below the water. The first stars danced above us.

  “So are you planning on answering my question?”

  “Hm? Oh, what I would say to my dad if I was being totally honest?” He leaned on the railing and looked down at the water rushing past.

  I kept my distance from the edge, not ready to test my motion sickness. Ethan looked out over the sea. “I guess I would tell him I’m not all that sure I want to be a doctor. I mean, it sounds good in theory, and it’s not like I have a burning desire to do anything else, but it kind of feels like I’ve never really had a choice.” He turned and faced me, bravely leaning back on the railing as if we weren’t at cruising speed out in the middle of the Mediterranean.

  “You’re making me nervous, Ethan. Why don’t you come away from the edge?”

  He grinned and pushed off, taking my hand like he’d done it a thousand times. “Okay, scaredy-cat. Let’s walk while we talk.”

  We strolled around the Promenade deck a dozen times, holding hands and sharing our fears, hopes, and dreams. He was into White Snake, some retro eighties band, which was cool with me since my own taste in music was in constant question by both my parents and friends. We decided on the same favorite food—lasagna with garlic bread. And when it came to movies, we agreed on action and sci-fi/fantasy. For the first time since Amanda had gone off to college, I felt like part of a twosome again—as if I weren’t alone in the world. But more, I felt for the first time, like part of a couple. My heart warmed at the thought.

  Elderly, white-haired couples,
smiled as they passed us by, making me wonder what it would be like to grow old with someone I loved. There seemed to be a comfort in it, but at the same time, knowing that one of them would have to outlive the other, my insides felt hollow. I thought of Maddie and Grandpa Henry—how they’d been married for better or worse for over forty years and how hard it must be for Maddie to be alone now. A new appreciation for her general state of orneriness settled into my heart. The realization sank in that maybe she needed to find fault with others because she was so unhappy with the aching emptiness inside herself. I shared my observation with Ethan, who concurred, his usual compassionate expression showing as we spoke about my grandmother.

  We talked about school, and sports, movies, and music until we’d walked and talked for almost two hours and my feet finally gave out.

  “What do you want to do now?” I asked, flopping onto a lounge chair. I hiked my long skirt up over my knees and planted my feet firmly on the deck on each side, raised the back of the chair from a reclining position, and settled myself in, the excess cotton material gathered in front of me. Unconcerned about my un-lady-like image, I gazed out over the dark water. The half-moon had risen and its light cast a shimmering glow on the sea, turning the sky above a soft twilight blue.

  “That depends on what you’re up for.” Surprising me, Ethan straddled the lounge chair and sat facing me, blocking my view so that all I could see was him with a backdrop of sparkling moonlight dancing on the water beyond him. He took my hands and I shivered.

  “Are you cold? We can go in.”

  “No. I’m okay. I was just thinking about how the moon makes you look a little ghostly.”

  He smiled and then his expression grew serious. He chewed his lip for a moment and then his features softened. “And I was thinking that you look like an angel in the moonlight. You’re really beautiful, Lexi.”

  I studied our entwined fingers, my heart thundering in my chest. “My name is really Ali...Alexis. Maddie thought Lexi was a more grown up name.”

  “You seem more like a Lexi to me, too.” My gaze was drawn to his full lips, which had turned up into a crooked grin, revealing a deep set dimple in one cheek.

  “I guess it doesn’t matter. Lexi is fine. Maybe Maddie’s right. Maybe it’s time I grow up—start acting more like an adult.” Uncertain of where I was planning to take my new found boldness, I slid closer, my heart racing. Our knees touched, and I leaned in, half expecting him to back away or tell me he wasn’t interested. Instead, he met me half way, closing the distance and settling his lips on mine.

  Warmth surged up my neck and heated my face, but I didn’t care. All I could focus on was the feel of his mouth, warm and inviting. His fingers slipped through my hair and gripped the back of my head, holding me steadily against him. Every nerve ending in my body came alive, making me wonder if he was having the same thoughts about me that I was having about him.

  I’d heard that teenage boys thought about sex something like seventeen times a minute. If that was true, he and I were definitely on the same page.

  Chapter 13

  The kiss grew. Soft at first, then more. Oh, God, I wanted more. I instinctively licked across his lower lip and was instantly met with a firm grip, pulling me closer. I reminded myself to breathe through my nose when his tongue found mine and we fell into the most perfect French kiss I could have imagined. I had nothing to compare to, but this was...excellent. I took in his sweet, spicy scent, absorbed his warmth, and groaned as my whole body responded to the heat that fled through me.

  Just as I considered inviting myself to his room, he pushed me away with hands on my shoulders, disconnecting us abruptly. “We shouldn’t be doing this.” He drew in a sharp breath and let it out in a rush, his chest heaving. “I mean...Maddie wouldn’t appreciate me...” He released my shoulders and leaned back.

  The chill of the air raised the hairs on my arms. I hated the sense of loss I felt as he slipped further away, and my heart squeezed. I swallowed and sat up straighter. “Maddie isn’t here right now and I don’t plan on telling her we kissed. It’s none of her business. I’m almost a senior in high school and I can kiss anyone I want.” My jaw ached from holding back what would either be tears or a toddler-worthy fit.

  “We’re only going to be on this ship together for the next two weeks and then we’ll each go our own way. It doesn’t seem like a good idea to start something. You said it yourself. You’re only a senior and I’m going off to college. It’s probably not the best time to start a relationship.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “I know what you’re saying. I thought that too. But...if not here and now, when?’ My cheeks burned but I couldn’t stop the flood of words. “Look, I’ve never...felt like this. Like I wanted to get to know a guy...better. Besides, you and I both know life is way too short to turn away the good stuff that decides to show up once in a while. I’m not saying we should run off and get married.” A small grin slid across his face and his eyes softened. The pulse in my throat sped up. “We can either try to fight it and make both of us miserable, or we can see what happens and try to enjoy our time together. Two weeks of trying not to kiss you again would be very damaging to my psyche.” I pressed my lips together in a pout to keep from smiling as his eyes lit up and his grin widened.

  “When you put it that way, I can totally see your point.” He slid forward and our knees touched again. This time, after running a finger down my cheek, he moved slowly toward me, his eyes capturing mine in the moonlight. I drew in a breath as if readying myself for a dive into deep water, which is exactly how it felt to give myself over to the enticing sweetness of the kiss. Ethan was slow and gentle, his hands exploring my hair, the contours of my jawline, and then my neck. His fingertips felt tickly and hot, and left a trail of fiery sparks wherever he touched.

  It seemed a long time passed, both of us completely enjoying the moment, and neither of us ready to come up for air, when a shrill voice tore us apart. “Alexis Jean Hartman!”

  My head spun to see Maddie approaching with a stern expression, her arms waving.

  Ethan pulled away and created a cool distance from me, his face the picture of guilt. “Mrs. Hartman...I’m sorry...”

  “I don’t want your apology, young man. I want your assurance this won’t go any further.” She came to a stop and stood her ground, giving me a scowl that would have made convicts turn righteous. “You can’t stay out of trouble for two minutes without supervision, can you?” She glared at me and fisted her hands on her hips. “Get to the room now. Ethan and I have a few things to discuss.”

  “Maddie, don’t do this...” I pleaded, my embarrassment complete when she countered.

  “Don’t Maddie me! It’s bad enough you’ve gotten arrested twice for possession, nearly flunked out of your junior year of high school, and now you’re following in your mother’s footsteps and looking to get yourself pregnant!” Her face contorted with anger, and then she stopped, clutched her shoulder and staggered to the next lounge chair over, lowering herself down. Even in the dim ship’s lighting I could see her face turn ghostly pale. I jumped to my feet.

  “Maddie! Are you okay?” I dropped to my knees next to her. Ethan came to her other side, guiding her to lie down.

  Maddie closed her eyes and heaved in a deep breath. “I’ll be fine. It’s nothing, really.” Her words came in stops and starts between gulps for air. “I just need to rest for a few minutes. These spells usually pass quickly.”

  “Should I go find the ship’s doctor?” I asked, my voice shaky.

  “No. Don’t,” Maddie protested. “I told you I’ll be fine. Let me stay here for a few minutes.”

  “How long has this been happening?” Ethan glanced my way, his face filled with concern as he focused back on Maddie. “Your pulse is racing.” He held her hand, his fingers poised on her wrist.

  It took her several seconds to answer. “A few months I guess. I have an appointment for a physical when I get home.” Her voice sounded stronger and relie
f swept through me. After a long and silent few minutes, Ethan helped her up.

  “We need to tell the ship’s doctor,” I said.

  “I don’t want to be a bother. Help me back to the room, and I’ll be good as new by morning. If I don’t feel better, I’ll go see him then.” She walked on her own, but with Ethan and me flanking her at either side.

  “I’m sure it wouldn’t be any trouble,” said Ethan. “Ship’s doctors are on call at all times. Besides, you’ll probably make his night since you’re not calling on him for seasickness pills or an ice pack for some sprain.”

  For the first time tonight, Maddie smiled, sending a sideways glance at Ethan. “Are you trying to play me, son? Because you’re wasting your time.”

  Ethan gave up, but I sensed his full attention focused on Maddie, as if continually assessing her condition. Regardless of what he’d said about not being sure about medical school, it was clear Ethan would make a great doctor. He was calm and cool, and naturally good with people.

  By the time we reached our room, Maddie’s color had returned. She slid the pass key through the scanner, and then turned to lay her best laser blue glare at me. “Say goodnight you two. And make it quick. Ethan and I will have our discussion tomorrow.” She disappeared inside, and I heard the fan go on in the bathroom.

  “I feel awful that I nearly gave my grandmother a heart attack.” I stared down at my feet, unsure of what this turn of events would mean for me and Ethan.