Amish Cooking Class - The Seekers
Page 25
Ever since Kendra’s offer to let them adopt her baby, Heidi had thought of little else. She had no idea how she’d even made it through the cooking class today. Heidi hoped and prayed Lyle would be willing to adopt the baby, because she felt sure this was the answer to her prayers. All they would need to do was find an adoption lawyer to draw up the papers to make it legal. Hopefully, his fee wouldn’t be too high, but at this point, she would gladly borrow the money if she had to, so she and Lyle could raise a child together.
“I’ll teach more cooking classes to help with the expense,” she murmured as she took out a loaf of bread for bacon and tomato sandwiches.
“There you go—talking to yourself again.” Lyle stepped up behind Heidi, turned her to face him, and gave her a warm, gentle kiss.
“You startled me. I didn’t hear you come in.” She spoke breathlessly.
“Had my driver drop me off by the phone shack so I could check for messages. That’s probably why you didn’t hear his car.” Lyle stroked Heidi’s arms, sending chills up her spine. “So, what’s this about teaching more cooking classes?”
“If we need extra money I’m willing to teach additional classes. Maybe every Saturday, instead of every other week.”
“Heidi, there’s no reason for that. I’m making a decent living, and there’s nothing we need extra money for right now.”
She sucked in her lower lip. “There would be, if we had a boppli.”
“What are you saying, Heidi?” His eyebrows lifted. “Has God given us a miracle? Are you expecting a boppli?”
“No, but we’ve been offered the chance to adopt.”
“How can it be? We haven’t contacted an adoption agency.”
Heidi pulled out a chair at the table. “Let’s take a seat, and I’ll explain the situation.”
Lyle hesitated at first but did as she suggested. Heidi took the seat beside him.
“Kendra, the young expectant mother who attends my class, arrived early today so we could talk before the others got here.” Heidi reached for Lyle’s hand. “She wants us to adopt her baby.”
He sat quietly for several seconds then slowly shook his head. “It’s out of the question, Heidi.”
“How come?”
“We don’t know much about this girl, and besides …”
“I know she wants us to raise her child.”
“We’ve discussed adoption before, and I’ve made myself clear on the topic. I don’t feel it’s right for us.” His voice was steady and lower pitched than normal.
“But why? You’ve never really explained your reasons.” Heidi could barely speak around the burning thickness in her throat.
“Jah, I have explained, Heidi—many times. Maybe you just weren’t listening. If it were God’s will for us to have children, you would have gotten pregnant by now.”
“Perhaps God sent Kendra to my cooking class for a reason. Maybe this is His will.”
Lyle’s shoulders pushed back as he shook his head. “No, Heidi. I don’t believe this is the way.”
“Why not? Kendra must believe we would make good parents to have asked if we’d raise her baby.”
“That’s just it—her baby. Would we ever feel like the child was completely ours?”
“I believe so.”
He shook his head once again, more firmly this time. “It’s not meant for us to raise someone else’s child.” Lyle’s hands touched his chest. “It hurts to think I’m not enough for you.”
“Oh, no, Lyle, it’s not that at all.” Heidi clasped his arm. “You mean the world to me, Lyle. I only want us to have a family.” Heidi’s throat constricted as tears sprang to her eyes.
“I’ve always thought we were a family.” Lyle placed his hand on hers. “You’re all I need.”
When he put it that way, it was hard to know how to respond. Heidi wanted to say Lyle was all she needed, but the words seemed to be stuck in her throat. She loved him with all her heart, but so many times—especially during the long hours he was gone—loneliness set in, and her arms ached to hold a baby. Why couldn’t he understand her feelings and share in the desire to have a child?
“All right, I understand,” she murmured, struggling not to break down. “I won’t bring it up again.” Heidi pushed her chair back and stood. “I’d best get the sandwiches made so we can eat.”
Lyle got up from his chair. “While you’re doing that, I’ll take a quick shower.” He gave her a peck on the cheek. “I love you, Heidi.”
“Love you, too.”
When Lyle left the room, Heidi turned toward the refrigerator to get the bacon and tomatoes. She dreaded seeing Kendra again and having to tell her she’d need to find someone else to adopt her child. Her shoulders drooped as she lowered her head. The disappointment Heidi felt penetrated her soul.
Chapter 35
Sugarcreek
Perspiration beaded on Loretta’s forehead as she crouched beside her garden to pull weeds. It had been four days since she’d told Eli she might be interested in joining the Amish church, but she hadn’t heard from him since. Maybe he’s changed his mind about helping me. Or perhaps he’s been too busy with work.
Sitting up from her bended position to wipe her forehead, she noticed Sam next door, walking up and down the rows in his raspberry patch. About the same moment, he glanced her way and gave her a neighborly wave.
“How are the berries doing?” Loretta hollered.
“Should be ready to pick in another week or so. I’ll see you get some.”
“Thanks, Sam. I’m looking forward to it.”
Sam was such a good neighbor. Loretta smiled when she saw him come to the edge of the yard as Abby and Conner took their dog over to greet him. Then she noticed Sam take something from his pocket and hand it to each of the kids. Abby and Conner ran over to Loretta, with Donnelly nipping at their heels. Sam gave another wave then headed toward his house.
“Look what Mr. Sam gave us.” Abby held out a five-dollar bill, and Conner did the same. “He said we can use the money to buy Donnelly something.”
Conner’s wide-eyed expression revealed his excitement as he repeated what his sister said.
“Better let me hang on to that for you. Did you both remember to thank him?” Loretta was pleased when they both bobbed their heads before handing her the money and running off to play with the dog again. She slipped the bills in her skirt pocket then went back to weeding her garden, humming a merry tune.
“Only one more row to do, and then I’m done.” Loretta spoke out loud. As she looked toward the sky, she added, “Oh Rick, I hope I’m making you proud, raising our children the best way I know.” As if on cue, a bluebird landed on a nearby branch, singing in soft, warbling tones. This might have meant nothing to most people, but to Loretta it was special, since bluebirds had been Rick’s favorite birds. She felt as though God sent the bird to give her a sense of assurance that she was doing right by her children.
With renewed energy, Loretta set back to weeding and thought about what to have for lunch. Today would be a good day to pack the children’s lunch so they could eat under the big tree. Conner and Abby always enjoyed having a picnic, even here in the yard. The fresh air did them good, too.
Loretta sat up on her knees to watch Abby and Conner trying to teach Donnelly how to fetch a stick. Could my children adjust to the Amish way of life? How would they feel about wearing Amish-style clothes? They were still young, so learning a new language would probably be easier for them than it would Loretta. But with help, she felt sure she could learn. Giving up modern conveniences shouldn’t be too difficult for the children or Loretta, although turning in her van for a horse and buggy might prove to be quite a challenge. Perhaps she could ease into the simple life—giving up a few things at a time to see how it went. Taking it slow might be a better adjustment for the children, too.
“Mommy, come look at Donnelly!” Abby’s excited tone drew Loretta’s thoughts aside once more. “See how he goes after the stick?”
“Kids, don’t forget to praise Donnelly, so he will know he did well.”
“Good boy!” Abby patted the dog’s head, while Conner gave Donnelly a hug.
“Now you should teach him how to sit or speak,” Loretta coached. “I’ll go inside and get the doggy treats. When he does what you ask, you can reward him with one.”
Abby and Conner were all smiles. What a joy to see her children so happy. They would be even happier when she surprised them with a picnic lunch.
While the kids continued to work with their pup, Loretta went inside and packed their lunch. She hoped as Conner and Abby grew into adults, they would always find something to be joyous about, especially the little things in life.
Walnut Creek
Heidi clipped a pair of Lyle’s trousers to the clothesline and paused to rub her throbbing forehead. She’d woken up with a headache this morning—no doubt from lack of sleep and clenching her teeth. Ever since Lyle had refused Kendra’s request to adopt her baby, Heidi felt depressed. She dreaded telling Kendra Lyle’s decision. Surely, the young mother-to-be would look for another adoptive couple as soon as she found out, or contact an adoption agency.
It wasn’t right to feel this way, but Heidi could barely look at Lyle without feeling bitter. In her mind, he was being unreasonable and selfish. Didn’t he comprehend how much love they had to offer a child? Truth was, Heidi had enough love in her heart for both of them.
Keeping busy helped some this week. In fact, she tore into housework like never before. One day, she’d cleaned out the closets. Another time, Heidi did the kitchen cabinets. The floors were so spotless and shiny she could almost see her reflection. But even with all the work, her thoughts returned to the situation with Kendra.
Several birds chirped in the trees nearby as Heidi forced herself to concentrate on hanging the rest of the laundry. When she finished the chore, she picked up the empty basket and hauled it into the house.
Thirsty after being outside in the heat, Heidi went to the sink and filled a glass with cold water. Popping an aspirin in her mouth, she swallowed it down. I hope this takes hold quickly.
Glancing out the kitchen window, she noticed Lyle talking to Eli near the barn. Eli’s bike rested against the fence. When did he arrive? With her thoughts so internally focused, Eli could have been talking with Lyle for over an hour, and she wouldn’t have noticed.
Normally, Heidi would have gone out to say hello and offer the men some refreshments. Not today, though. She wasn’t in the mood to converse with anyone, much less act as a joyful, gracious hostess.
Sighing, she turned away from the window and wet a paper towel, holding it against her forehead. Think I’ll go to my room and take a nap.
“Got a question for you. Would ya happen to know anyone who has an easygoing buggy horse they might want to sell or loan?” Eli asked, moving closer to Lyle.
Lyle quirked an eyebrow. “What’s wrong with your buggy horse? Is he havin’ a problem?”
“Nope. Timmy’s good, and so is Mavis’s horse, Blossom. The horse is for a friend of mine, and I think she’ll eventually need one.”
“Anyone I know?”
Eli’s ears warmed. “It’s, uh, for Loretta Donnelly.”
“Isn’t she one of Heidi’s students?”
“Jah.”
Lyle leaned against the barn, near the slightly open door. “Why would she need a buggy horse?”
“Loretta’s thinking about joining the Amish church, and I’m gonna teach her how to drive a horse and buggy. If she catches on, she’ll probably want her own horse and carriage.”
“Wow! Does Heidi know about this?”
Eli shrugged. “Loretta may have told her. I’m not sure, but I’ve said nothing to anyone else. I found out about her desire to seek a simpler life when we were together last Saturday evening.” He removed his straw hat, flapping it at a persistent fly buzzing around his head. “I took Loretta and her kinner out to supper.”
“Ah, well, did you tell her how difficult the transition would be?”
“Jah, but it’s not impossible. See, Loretta’s grandparents were Amish, so she already has a connection.”
“What about her parents? Weren’t they Amish, too?”
Eli shook his head. “They never joined the church. Guess they preferred to go English.”
Lyle eyed Eli with a curious expression. “Is there something going on between you and Loretta? Something more than casual friendship?”
“Sure is gettin’ warm out.” Eli felt sweat trickling down the back of his neck and reached up to swipe it away.
“Umm … we weren’t discussing the weather.” Lyle’s shoulders lifted almost up to his ears. “But if you don’t want to talk about Loretta, it’s fine by me.”
“I … well … maybe I should.” Eli licked his parched lips and swallowed hard. He hoped he could express his feelings without stumbling over every word. “Well, actually, there could be more if she became Amish, although I haven’t expressed my feelings to Loretta yet. I don’t want to rush things and need to be sure she has feelings for me before I blurt anything out.”
A slow smile spread across Lyle’s face. “Heidi’s had an inkling about you two, and I guess she was right.” He gave Eli’s shoulder a hefty squeeze. “Good for you. I hope things work out.”
Eli lowered his head a bit. “This doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about Mavis. She’ll always hold a place in my heart.”
“I understand. You two had a special relationship.”
Eli nodded. “Same as you and your fraa do.”
Lyle looked away then back at Eli. “There is only one thing coming between me and Heidi right now.”
“Can’t imagine anything getting between the two of you. I hope everything’s okay. Or am I bein’ too nosy?”
“She wants to adopt a baby, and I do not.” Lyle closed his eyes briefly, drawing a deep breath. “I believe if God wanted us to have kinner, Heidi would be able to conceive.”
“Hmm …” Eli folded his arms, clasping both wrists. “Children are a blessing, and fatherhood is something I’ve always longed for. If Mavis had lived, we may have considered adoption.”
“Really?”
“Jah, only, thanks to that hit-and-run driver, her life was snuffed out before we had a chance to talk about it.” Eli’s toes curled inside his boots, reliving the instant he’d been notified of his wife’s untimely death. No moment could have been worse. His whole world seemed to fall apart. Until he’d met Loretta, Eli had never thought he could even consider falling in love again, much less with an English woman. Now if he just knew how Loretta felt about him.
Grabbing a broom, Ron began knocking down cobwebs in the barn when he heard voices outside. Setting the broom aside, he moved toward the door to see who it was. When he spotted Lyle and Eli outside, Ron stepped back, hoping they hadn’t seen him and wouldn’t pull him into their conversation. He’d had another nightmare last night about the deer, an old silo, and a soldier holding a bayonet. No way would he be good company today. In fact, Ron wasn’t sure he could speak a pleasant word to anyone right now.
After all these years, why was he still tormented by memories of the war that took his brother’s life and so many others’? He was reminded once again that thousands of families had been affected in the same manner. Ron wondered how they coped and moved forward.
No air stirred in the barn, and a cold drink of water would surely taste good right now. Swatting at an annoying bee, Ron’s ears perked up when he heard Eli talking to Lyle about his wife’s death.
“Every time I drive past that old silo on County Road 172, I think of how Mavis was killed that evening, a year ago on April 24.” Eli paused and cleared his throat. “I can’t underst
and how the person who hit her bike could have left the scene of the accident and never called for help or reported it to the sheriff.”
“It’s hard to believe anyone could do such a thing.” Lyle’s voice rose a bit. “It’s even harder to understand why the law never found out who was responsible.”
Ron froze in place, his heart beating so hard he thought his chest might explode. He’d been driving that road last year, on the evening of April twenty-fourth, and remembered seeing the silo seconds before he’d hit a deer. At least he’d thought it was a deer. The silo had been in his nightmares as well, but until now, he’d never thought much about this detail.
A sudden coldness hit the core of his being. He’d suffered a flashback from the war moments before the impact, but kept going, since he saw no point in stopping to report a dead deer.
Oh no! Ron’s hands seemed to rush toward his mouth of their own accord, as he stifled a gasp. I hit a woman, not a deer. It was me. I killed Eli’s wife.
Sickened by this revelation, Ron dashed to the back of the barn, grabbed a bucket, and threw up. As he leaned against the wall for support, Ron tried to catch his breath. With nothing left in his stomach, dry heaves took over, making him lurch to the point where his throat felt raw. The knowledge of what he had done to poor Eli’s wife was far worse than any nightmare he could imagine. The right thing to do would be to turn himself in, but the thought of spending years in jail with hardened criminals was too much to bear. If only the earth would open up and swallow him. It would be a far better punishment than a lifetime in jail. Wishful thinking wouldn’t make it happen, though. Ron needed to get far away from here and, if it were possible, forget what happened.
Chapter 36
As Heidi cleared the table after eating lunch by herself, she thought about the rest of her afternoon and what she would do to keep busy. Soon after Eli left on his bicycle, Lyle went to a dental appointment. He’d told Heidi he planned to grab a bite for lunch when he got to Mt. Hope, where he had some business to take care of concerning an upcoming auction.