Divine Desire: A Lotus House Novel: Book Three

by Audrey Carlan

  Someone clapped me on my shoulder as I walked toward my assigned room. “Hey, bud, how goes it?” Dash asked, following at my pace.

  I grinned, opened my arms, and looked up at the swirly ceiling of the warehouse-turned-yoga center. “Dash, today’s the best day of my life. Well, technically I should say that was last night.”

  Dash chuckled and followed me into my room where I jogged to the riser and dropped my mat.

  “You gonna share why today, excuse me, last night was the best night of your life? Something happen at the club?” His eyes widened when I beamed and gave him a thumbs-up. “No frickin’ way. A scout? Who?”

  The desire to prance around like a little kid was strong, but I fought it. “Knight & Day Productions.”

  He rubbed at his chin. “Great label.” He squinted and then looked off to the side. “I read something in the paper about them. Run by a young guy now. A fella named…”

  “Silas McKnight.”

  “Yeah, that’s him. Passed down from his father. Man was the King of Soul in his day! Daddy Knight. Remember his old-school rhythm and blues? The man owned the charts for a couple decades back when our parents were our age.”

  I grinned. “I know.”

  “Man, you must be so stoked. When are you meeting him?”

  “Scheduled a meeting for a couple weeks from now. He’s out of town on business but caught my act last night. Stopped Mila and me at the door before we left.”

  “Wait. Mila and you? You were with Mila last night?” A knowing smirk fell across his lips. “So how did that go? You two have been circling around each other for the past couple weeks.”

  I laid it out there. I wasn’t even going to pretend to be a guy that didn’t kiss and tell. “Dash, shit, she’s incredible. Best lay I’ve ever had and sweet, too, once you get past all that spunk and sass to the soft underbelly…”

  I recalled kissing down her soft stomach this morning in the shower before I lifted her leg, placed it over my shoulder, gripped her ass, and ate her through two orgasms. Straight after, she went down on her knees and returned the favor. Seeing her lips puffy from being stretched wide around my cock…best fucking view of my life. And she liked it a little rough, too. When I gripped the roots of her hair and fucked her face, she went wild, moaning and putting a hand between her legs. Far as I could tell, when I got off down her throat, she got herself off a third time. Greedy kitty.

  Dash clapped a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. Dash was always the one to initiate touching. The man just had to physically feel the people he was near. I’d gotten used to it back in high school.

  “Dude, I’m happy for you. When are you going to see her again?”

  The question brought me up short. Mila and I hadn’t discussed the aftermath of our choice to hook up at all. Obviously, I wanted seconds and thirds and hundredths, but did she? “I don’t know. I’ve never wanted to actually follow up with a girl I’ve banged before.”

  “But you do now, right?” Dash’s eyes held a hint of concern.

  I rubbed my hands together and sighed. “Yeah, I mean, if she’s game, I’m game.”

  Dash smirked. “If she’s game, you’re game? What kind of lame ode to romance is that? Women are not toys. If you want Mila, mark my words, she’s the type of girl you’re going to have to chase.”

  “Honestly, I don’t think it’s going to be that hard, if you know what I mean,” I leered.

  Dash groaned. “You are so far out of your league. Just because you had a little fun in the sack does not mean she’s all in. Hit me with your plan.”

  A plan. “I don’t have one. What would you do?”

  “I’m not you,” he retorted.

  “No, but you did chase after Amber, and now she’s your wife.”

  “So you’re looking for a future with Mila?”

  I backed up until I hit the riser and fell on my ass. “Not exactly. We only hooked up the one night. I can’t say after one night of banging her that I know she’s the one. Besides, we’re both knee-deep in our careers.”

  “You’re both yoga instructors.”

  “Touché. But we’re both reaching for something bigger. Much bigger. And I get the feeling from her that her art is something she’s not going to give up for a man who wants to tour the world playing music.”

  Dash laid out his yoga mat and pulled off his shirt and shoes. “Guess you’re going to have to find out along the way. In the meantime, if you want to keep seeing her, you’re going to have to make the first move.”

  I hadn’t made the first move in God only knew how long. “I’ll just text her.”

  Dash rolled his eyes and went into the yoga position downward facing dog, his body making a perfect triangular shape on the mat.

  “What? No texting? How do I make my desire for a round two known, Mr. Flowers and Romance?” I goaded.

  Dash shifted his weight, going up onto his toes and stretching his upper body to the sky in the upward facing dog position. “I know what I’m going to say might sound archaic to you, but have you asked the girl out on a date?”

  Shit, a date? “Does pizza on the floor of my apartment count, or her coming to see me play?”

  He laughed hard enough to lose his pose and come to his knees into table position where his back faced the ceiling and his hands and knees were shoulder distance apart. The pose was aptly named because when in it, the person looked like a table one could set a lamp on. “You’re pathetic, you know that? Ask the girl out for goodness’ sake. Really, you can’t possibly be this immature.”

  “Don’t be a dick. I’m out of practice.”

  “That’s blatantly obvious.”

  “Fine, I’ll ask her to Rainy Day when she has a break today.”

  He coughed and laughed again before giving up his stretch and turning to his side. “That’s a start. You probably should do that to talk about last night, as well as where you want things to go from there. She might not even want to see you again. Maybe you suck in bed.” He grinned before cackling into his fist.

  “You’re an ass!”

  Even still, something he said struck a chord with me. What if she didn’t want to see me again? Perhaps I was a one-off for her. Hell no. No way. Not after the chemistry we’d shared last night and again this morning. Even eating breakfast together was comfortable. For me, for sure. Was it for her? Shit, now he had me questioning every last word, move, her body language, which did in fact seem standoffish when I gave her a long kiss good-bye and told her I’d see her later.

  “I made her breakfast this morning,” I added in a stupid attempt to sound a bit less juvenile.

  Dash smiled. “That’s a good start. Women love a man who can cook. Are you going to invite her out to dinner?”

  Dinner. I guess I could. I didn’t have a lot extra to take her somewhere extravagant. Did it have to be gourmet or would my favorite little Mexican restaurant work? Wait. Would she think I was being racist since she’s Hispanic? Fuck. A sour, acidic feeling hit my gut. I had no idea how to date this woman. Not just this woman, any woman. I’d been out of the game for so long none of this came naturally, and she’d know it. However, Mila didn’t seem the type to care about conventions.

  Then an idea hit. Oh hell yes. A perfect one. Something affordable, yet thoughtful.

  “I’ve got it. Listen to this.” I went over to Dash and crouched down as the class started to fill.

  When I was done telling him my plan, he smiled big, a wide, toothy grin. “If that’s what she’s into, it’s perfect, man, absolutely perfect. Now you just have to get her to agree to go out with you.”

  Easy. I had that in the bag.

  MILA

  “No. Not happening. I don’t think it’s a good idea,” I said to Atlas when he called me after his class. He’d asked me to lunch, and if I was being honest with myself, I needed more time.

  More time to figure out what had happened.

  More time to avoid the feelings I had about last night.

  Mo
re time to put up the wall he’d had crashing down after our evening together.

  “Wildcat, you know I’m not going to take no for an answer, so you might as well just say yes now and go out with me.”

  I groaned. “Look, Atlas. I’m fine. We really don’t have to make more out of last night than what it was. A fun night. A lot of fun.”

  “And morning.”

  The memory of seeing his slick, wet head between my thighs this morning flashed across my vision and turned me on instantly. Thank God he wasn’t here right now, because in all likelihood, I’d jump him.

  “You’re not playing fair,” I whispered, as I entered Lotus House for my afternoon class.

  He cleared his throat. “You’re not playing at all. Come out and play with me, hotness. You know you want to. You can’t possibly think that last night was a one and then done. There’s so much more we have to experience together.”

  “Atlas…” I warned, clenching my teeth and grinding my molars. He was getting to me. Why the hell did I give him my phone number anyway?

  “Imagine this…you naked on all fours, me naked behind you. My hand would be curled around your shoulder, my other on your hip, moving you on and off my cock while I take you from behind.”

  I groaned as that exact image filtered through my mind. It would be so flippin’ hot. My sex clenched, and I had to lean against one of the walls in the hallway to catch my balance.

  “Or I could lift you up on your counter, sit at one of your stools, spread your sexy as fuck thighs nice and wide, and put my mouth all over your pussy. I’d do it, too. Right where we ate breakfast this morning, only instead, I’d be eating you, wildcat.”

  “Jesus Christ…” I moaned into the phone and closed my eyes while holding myself up against the wall. The graphic visual seared my brain and sent ribbons of heat flooding the tender space between my thighs.

  “That’s right. You know how good it was last night. The more we get to know each other…mmm, the better it will get.” His tone was sultry, sexy, and downright panty-melting.

  I didn’t have an ounce of will left in me.

  “So how about it? You want that?” he asked.

  “Mmm…yeah,” I spoke, not realizing I’d just agreed to myriad sexual situations with Atlas when I was attempting, very unsuccessfully, to avoid another go with him.

  I’d done well this morning after he left. Talked myself right out of anything more with Atlas Powers for a variety of reasons.

  One. We worked together. Never a good idea to shit where you eat. Or in this case, fuck where you work.

  Two. He was a distraction. From my teaching, from my art, from my life. Distraction. Sure, it was a weak reason, but it worked this morning.

  Three. We weren’t right for each other. We fought constantly. Who fought as much as we did? Weren’t couples supposed to have that honeymoon phase? Everyone talked about it. Supposedly the best time in the relationship. We’d skipped right over that and went to the turmoil phase. Then again, it made for some awesome hate sex, or was that makeup sex? I never did understand which one was right. Hate sex made sense. Makeup sex? Not so much.

  Four. Moe and Lily. I was moving in with Monet and Lily. That would stop the opportunity for me to have angry, growly type sex, which was all I’d really have with Atlas anyway.

  Five. Time. My ultimate enemy. I didn’t have time to devote to whatever this was with him. And this date request, that proved it all together.

  “Great, what time this weekend are you free?”

  “I’m supposed to move in with my friend this weekend.”

  “What? Why?”

  And here was why I didn’t have men in my life. They wanted to question everything I did and said like they had some sort of right to an opinion. “Because I lost a battle with her, and she’s making me move in.”

  “That’s ridiculous. I thought you liked your little space. It’s private. You’ve got your art setup and your living space.”

  He also didn’t know that it cost an arm and a leg even though it wasn’t the best area. The worst neighborhood in Oakland might have been more affordable, but since I didn’t fancy the idea of getting burglarized or raped on my way from my car to my shithole apartment, I paid out the ass for the not-so-great tiny studio.

  I sighed. “Yes, I like my space, but it’s not cheap and I promised Moe I’d focus on my art, and living with her would allow me to do just that.”

  “Oh, I see. It’s a money thing. I get it.”

  The fight-or-flight response grew stronger the more we talked. He didn’t know my life, or that I struggled to make do. My fiery Latina side was about to make herself known. I could feel my face getting hot with embarrassment and my ire lighting up with each tick of the clock. “You don’t know jack about me. You only know what I’ve told you. So don’t act like you understand.”

  “Whoa, okay, what happened here? I didn’t mean to piss you off. Not this time anyway.”

  “I have a class to teach.”

  “Mila, wait. Just wait. I’m sorry. Do you need help moving? I could borrow a friend’s truck.”

  What the hell was this? He was being nice to me. After I just yelled at him and put him in his place. Either I had a golden pussy, or this man was not for real. “I’m sure I can handle it.”

  “But if I help you, it will go faster, and you can get it done in one day. Then I can take you out on Sunday.”

  Back to taking me out. He was a dog with a bone, but why? Before I could turn him down, he rushed to respond.

  “I’ll take that as a yes and let you get to class. And, hotness, you made my night. Blew me away, baby. Can’t wait for a repeat.” He hung up.

  I closed my eyes and breathed slowly as the phone went dead. Atlas was a freakin’ whirlwind of contradictions. At one minute he was fighting with me, the next he was being nice. Positively sweet. I didn’t get what came over him. I mean sure, the sex was phenomenal, and I’d admit that, if pushed, I was not going to say no to a second round of shit-hot fucking, but this sweet side. Blech. He needed to get over that before I throat punched him.

  I didn’t know how to handle sweet. Usually there wasn’t a problem because I never, never, ever had a man more than once. Well, more than once after the one-nighter. Sometimes with a random guy, I’d let him have me many times if the sex was good, but only until he passed out. Then it was bye-bye, so long for me, and I’d be out the door and in my bed within the hour. This with Atlas…a date. Who dated anymore? Oh hell, I’d have to talk to Moe. That in itself was going to suck, because she’d absolutely encourage me to spend more time with him, not less. I needed new friends. Mean ones who didn’t give a hoot about anyone but themselves. Yeah, that was what I needed.

  New plan to get shitty friends on the horizon, I unlocked my yoga room and set up for class. I opened the windows to allow some fresh air in before I got everyone all worked up sweating out their toxins. That’s when I bumped into Amber Alexander, Dash’s wife.

  “Oh hey, Amber. How are you?”

  The brunette was tall and thin, her athletic build covered in a set of workout clothes that had a cool paint-splattered pattern in the fabric. She leaned forward and folded me in her arms for a hug. Looked like her husband’s touchy nature was wearing off on his bride. “I’m great! And Dash uh…”—she looked around the room to make sure nobody was paying attention to us while they set up—“he told me what you asked him.”

  I focused on her face while I thought about what she was referring to. I blinked and rolled around the last few conversations Dash and I’d had. “Oh! Yeah, the painting.”

  Her head jerked around to make sure we still had a bit of privacy.

  “Sorry,” I whispered, thinking it was pretty funny that she was nervous about anyone hearing what we were up to.

  “No, it’s okay. I just, you know, I’m going to be a doctor, and I don’t want something, anything to come out about doing it. Not that it really matters or anything because Dash said it would be anonymous
.”

  “Totally.” I made the gesture of sealing my lips and tossing the key over my shoulder.

  She giggled, and it sounded sugary like a young girl’s.

  “I just wanted to tell you that we’ll do it. Dash is really interested in the concept and believes that it’s an experience lovers shouldn’t pass by. To be part of someone’s art is such an honor.”

  An honor. The Alexanders thought that having me paint them was an honor. For the first time in my life, I felt proud. Proud of the path I’d chosen and that I’d stuck to my passion, giving it my all over the last several years. And now I’d get to give a gift that two very beautiful people would cherish in their lives forever.

  “Thank you for that, Amber. I look forward to it. When would you both be available?”

  Her face crumbled into one of worry. “Not for another couple weeks. I’m sorry. I’m dealing with my first-year finals in med school, and they are kicking my booty.”

  I wanted to laugh at her use of the word booty instead of ass. She was so damned sweet, I swear I could eat her up.

  “Not a problem, girl. I’m moving this weekend anyway and will need time to get set up. I’ll actually be closer to the center.”

  “Oh, cool. Okay, I’ll tell Dash, and we’ll check our schedules, and I’ll have him relay available dates.”

  “Sounds perfect to me. And thank you! I promise when we set it up, I’ll make you as comfortable as possible, including hiding anything you don’t want to show the world.”

  She blushed and her arms immediately crossed over her chest.

  See, so flippin’ sweet, but I knew Dash pretty well, and the dude taught Tantra. I was certain he was tarnishing that squeaky clean innocence every damned day.

  “Go ahead and get set up for class.” I gestured to her mat before raising my voice to the patrons already set up around the room. “Everyone, let’s start today in child’s pose. We’re going to get in the right headspace before I take you through a very rigorous Vin Flow. Set your intent and think about what your body does for you, how you want to give back to it, and remember as always…be your strength.”