Savaged Surrender: A Novella

by Jennifer Lyon

  “And?”

  “He was traveling, and I couldn’t reach him, so I called Linda instead. She told me to stay where I was until she got there. My cellphone started blowing up with calls from my stepdad and later my mom when she got back home. But I didn’t answer. Linda flew to Washington and arrived at my friend’s house. I told her everything. Then she took me home.”

  “With her?”

  “No, back to my mom and Don’s, where Linda confronted my mom. Don was out, supposedly looking for me. Anyway, my mom denied it and said I was trying to get attention.”

  “Bitch.”

  “Yeah.” Ana knew exactly what her mom was. “Linda didn’t back down. She believed me and told my mom that I was going home with her. Of course my mom said no.”

  “Child support.”

  “Yep, she still had four more years to collect. So Linda pulled out her phone, accessed her bank account, and said, “How much for Ana to go home with me? You’ll relinquish custody and can have visitation in San Diego. But never with Don, or we’ll make public accusations that he’s a creep intending to molest a teenage girl. I’ll destroy both your lives. That’s the deal. How much? I’ll make the transfer.”

  Ethan shifted slightly behind her. “That’s why you love your stepmom so much. I always wondered how you formed that bond with her.”

  Ana would give Linda a kidney in a heartbeat. “I had no idea she’d even help me, but what she did—no hesitation. She left work that day, got on a plane and came to my rescue. So yeah, I love her, and I’ll do anything for her.”

  “So why pay your mom? Why not just threaten to expose the bastard?”

  “Because Linda and my dad didn’t have custody or any legal standing. They could have fought, of course, but the system is slow, and there wasn’t any real proof. It was my word against my stepdad’s that he was coming on to me.”

  He squeezed her hand. “Got it. So how much?”

  “Almost a million. Linda made the first payment that day but obviously couldn’t move all of it in one transaction. But it was enough to get me out of there. The thing is, my dad had money, but not enough to toss away almost a million dollars.” She turned her head back to see him. “Do you see why I didn’t want his money when he died? He was my hero when I needed him—both he and Linda. Why would I want more?”

  Ethan studied her for a beat. “Some would. But not you.”

  “I don’t. I was happy with them. And I tried to be a daughter they’d be proud of.” She’d worked so hard to be perfect, to never ask them or anyone for help again. Deep down she’d feared that one day her dad and Linda would come to resent her, to think that maybe she’d been looking for attention as her mom said. Or…

  She shut it down. Going over old stuff was a waste when she was here with Ethan for only a short time.

  “Let’s talk about something else.” She lifted their joined hands, and a patch of rough skin on his palm stirred another memory. Tracing the scar with her thumb, she said, “Remember the time you tried to cook roast duck?” They’d almost kissed that night, but her smoke alarm had gone off, jarring them out of the moment.

  He buried his face in her hair, chuckling. “I deserved to burn the fuck out of my hand that night. I was so close to kissing you, I didn’t even smell the smoke or realize the bird was burning.”

  “It’s funnier now than it was then.” She didn’t care about the duck or her oven, but she’d been devastated that they’d lost the moment. Then once he burned his hand trying to get the sizzling pan out, she’d been worried about Ethan and hated his pain. Ana had insisted on taking him to the emergency room. “It’s a pretty deep scar.” She traced it along his palm, wishing she’d stopped him from grabbing the pan without a potholder.

  “Battle wound, but I can cook a duck now. My sour orange duck is exquisite.”

  She laughed, leaning back against him. “You really do still love cooking, don’t you?”

  He was quiet for a minute, then said, “I told you I lived on the streets before Sloane found me.”

  Her stomach clenched, hoping he’d tell her more. “Yeah.”

  “I was hungry a lot. I’d hang out by dumpsters in the back of restaurants sometimes. They’d give me, or any of us hanging around, food. But anytime they opened the door, I would catch the scent. It was the sweetest torture. These amazing smells of roasting meats, herbs, citrus. I became addicted to them. Once I had real access to food, I wanted to recreate those smells. Only this time, I could eat it.”

  It killed her to think of him like that. She had to swallow against the pain. Food held such power for him. When he cooked, it brought out the youth in him, a joy. But how had he ended up starving and so desperate? “Why, Ethan? Where was your family?”

  His fingers tensed around hers. “No family. Just my mother.”

  Ana stilled, barely breathing. That was the most he’d ever told her, always shutting down if she asked how he ended up a runaway. “What happened? What made you take off by yourself?”

  “I ran away. Leave it alone.”

  The bitter ice in his voice chilled her, a stark contrast to his warm body and the soft bed. “You demanded to know my ugly stories but won’t share yours.” Despite his being right there with her, loneliness closed in.

  “Shit.” He took his hand away, rolled off the bed and went to the window, shoving open the draperies.

  Light flooded in around Ethan. He stood there naked, his huge shoulders flexed, muscles standing out along his back down to his tight, round ass and powerful legs.

  And yet, for all his strength, a thick desolation surrounded him.

  After throwing off the sheet, she crossed to him. Regret and shame pressed down on her. She was trying to force something from him he didn’t want to give her. Ana edged up next to him and laid her hand on his back. “I won’t ask anymore. It’s okay.”

  He turned his head, his eyes seeking hers. “My past won’t stay there. People know. I haven’t really kept it a secret, I just never wanted it to touch you.”

  Her breath caught at the turmoil churning in his eyes. What haunted him so? “Why not me?”

  “Because you’re my one good thing. When you look at me, you don’t see that I came from a cesspool. My mother was a high-class call girl who eventually lost her earning power. But she noticed women taking an interest in me.”

  Horror seeped into her blood. “How old were you?”

  He turned away, looking out to the water. “Twelve.”

  Nausea hit her belly. “She didn’t.”

  “Oh she did. She created a whole market. She’d rent me out as a boy toy. Soon I became really popular among the rich and bored. They fucking owned me for however long they booked me for. My mother didn’t care what they did.”

  Ana’d had no idea…none. His mother forced him to have sex with other women? At twelve? “She should be in prison. Tell me she’s in prison!” Fury ate at her.

  “She’s dead. Overdose a year or so after I ran away.”

  “Good.”

  “Doesn’t matter if she’s gone.” Ethan stared out the window into the blindingly bright sun. “I’m still a whore just like her.”

  “You’re not! You got out of it.” Her heart pounded at the quiet agony in him. “Ethan, it was abuse and not your fault.” Didn’t he see that?

  He turned then. “I ran. Then I got hungry, really fucking hungry. And guess what I did to eat? I tried underground fighting and roughly half the time got my ass beaten. Mostly because I couldn’t control my fury at being so powerless. And those damned sex vultures loved it when I came slithering back, begging to let me be their little fuck toy.” He rocked, as if trying to escape a memory. “I can still hear them. ‘Once a whore, always a whore.’”

  His shoulders swelled, and color stained his face. His body vibrated with anger. A rage he’d controlled ruthlessly around her, and now she was seeing it. Seeing more of the real Ethan.

  She didn’t know what to say to him, how to help. Yet everything i
n her wanted to take the pain away. “It’s not who you are now. Look at you, Ethan. You’re protecting the most famous rock band in the universe and on your way to being a chef.” Now she understood his drive, the need to gain power in a world that abused him when he’d been powerless. “You’re the man I admire and want.”

  He stalked her to the wall. “It’s exactly who I am. It always will be. It’s why all I can offer you is to be your dirty fantasy for a few days.” He smiled sadly. “Just like you’ve been my fantasy of what I wish I could have.”

  “You can.” Didn’t he get this?

  He shook his head. “I won’t do that, ever. People knew what my mother was. No other moms would let their kids play with me. When I was still in school and ran into a woman who’d bought me, she was horrified that I was in the same school as her two kids and told me to never talk them, ever. I shouldn’t be there at all. That school was for decent folks, not trash.”

  “She paid for sex with a child and judged you?” Outrage exploded, making her head throb. “That bitch should be in prison, and a woman who loved you would stand by you. You’re not trash, and there’s nothing dirty about you.”

  “Wrong. I was born dirty. The kid of a whore and a man who paid her. I ran away to escape that, thinking I was better than her, and ended up selling my services just to eat. Don’t you see? I repeated the pattern. Then later when I got a chance at becoming a MMA fighter, I cheated with steroids, making me a whole different kind of dirty.”

  Anger and self-disgust hardened his voice, and turmoil churned in his eyes. “I’m breaking the cycle, here and now. I’m going to make something of myself, something that’s not about using and degrading people or taking shortcuts. Once I’ve redeemed myself, then if I run into someone who knows my past, it won’t matter so much. I’ll have proved I’m better than just a whore and cheater.”

  The irony was so bitter, she almost wanted to laugh. This was the very thing she loved about Ethan, he had the integrity to own his mistakes like using steroids and fix them. But that same integrity kept him from letting her close to his heart.

  Or more likely, while he cared about Ana, he just didn’t care enough. One day he might find a woman he loved enough to take the risk of finding out if she’d stand by him.

  All Ana could do now was be his friend and support him. Touching his arm, she said, “You’re going to make it as a kick-ass chef. And one day you’ll see yourself as I do. A man I respect, care about and trust enough to ask him to help me be bad for a while.”

  He opened his mouth—

  “Wait. If there’s anything I can do to help, Ethan, all you have to do is call me. I meet a lot of people in the food industry in my job. I even see Chef Zane, who was very impressed with you. If you need connections or anything like that, call me. Keep in mind, I’ve gotten Kat on baking shows and other opportunities. I’m pretty good at what I do.” She added a smile. “No strings attached. I know our little sexcapade is a one-time thing.”

  Sexcapade—the word was so stupid and shallow, not even close to what Ana felt with Ethan.

  Cupping her cheek, he tilted her face up. “There’s my good girl, always trying to help.”

  Not good enough. No matter how hard she tried, she always seemed to end up alone. But that was her problem, not his. She’d be fine, she always was. “I’m not here to be good now.”

  “No you’re not. Lucky for you, I’m excellent at being bad.” Gathering her hands in his, he raised them over her head and kissed her. Once he had her breathless, he leaned back, studying her. “Tell me how you want to be bad. Specifically.”

  She had nothing to lose by revealing the truth. “I like making you work for it. And I love making you lose control.”

  His fingers twined with hers tightened. His cock brushed her belly, hot, long and thick. “You do that. Last night, when you showed me your bare pussy, alI I could think about was I had to taste you.” His voice dropped to a growl. “Then you fought me. Refused to open your legs. Teasing me.”

  The memory of the way he’d taken what he wanted made her excited. Wet. “You know that feeling when you and I used to race on roller blades or bikes? You wouldn’t give in, and neither would I? We fought all the way to the finish line.”

  “Adrenaline rush.” His eyes darkened, and his cock branded her belly. “Is that what you felt when I forced you to give me what I wanted, then made you like it?”

  Need splashed so hard, she trembled. “Yes. When you do that, I stop thinking and just feel. And part of me wants to go further.”

  Ethan pinned her hands firmer against the wall. “How far?”

  “I don’t know, but I want to find out.”

  Lowering his mouth, he kissed her again then picked her up and laid her on the bed. “We’re both too raw for that right now. I’m going to be gentle with you. I need to show you that side of me, before I show you just how far and bad I can be—if it’s what you really want.”

  “I do.”

  “Then give me this. Last night I told you that I need you to know you weren’t a woman I’d fuck and forget. I need the same thing back from you—to know I’m more than just your dirty fantasy. Let me show you tenderness and pleasure, and then we’ll explore any fantasies we both have.”

  Her stomach liquefied with desire and more. He’d been badly used and yet he cared enough to want to share with her a side of him he hadn’t shown anyone else. She tugged Ethan into her arms.

  And too damned much of her heart.

  Chapter 7

  “Hold on,” Ethan shouted, taking the watercraft into a tight turn that sprayed up a wave right at Franci and Simon. The lead guitarist of Savaged Illusions coughed out a mouthful of water, totally making Ethan’s day. Bastard had already showered them twice.

  Behind him, Ana’s laughter pealed out. His cock jumped. He’d missed her competitiveness and the way she threw herself into everything. Having her body pressed against his back, arms wrapped snugly around him, wasn’t a bad way to spend an afternoon.

  The sound of an engine to his left jerked his attention from Ana and his dick. A second later a wall of water slammed into them.

  “Ha! Payback!” Chelle shouted. Lynx sat behind her on the machine, laughing his ass off.

  Ethan chased them down, the wind whipping around, water spraying, the guys trash-talking while the girls plotted shenanigans and revenge. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had so much fun.

  Getting low on fuel, he gestured to the others that he was going back to the dock. Once there, he secured the craft and gave Ana a hand to help her up. He kept hold of her hand as they walked back toward the house.

  He wanted to keep going, get her in their room, strip those bottoms off her and bury his cock in her.

  Again.

  Being with her, hearing her laugh, her hand in his made him feel clean. But he wasn’t. He’d never outrun his past, and he refused to let that shame taint Ana. He’d done the right thing telling her. Now she’d understand why this couldn’t last more than a week.

  Ana dried off. “I’m going in to use the bathroom and check my phone.”

  Concerned, he asked, “Have you heard from Gregory?”

  “No. Stop worrying, I told you my lawyer notified Gregory that any further contact with me must go through the law office. And security at the resort also talked to him. They took my concern seriously, and informed Gregory that if he bothered me again, he’d be removed and banned.”

  Although impressed that Ana wasn’t messing around after that confrontation with Gregory, Ethan still worried. “He could escalate. Stalkers tend to get pissed when they can’t get to their target.”

  “He can’t reach me here. The whole place is gated and guarded.”

  True, which meant he had to keep her here with him. “Don’t go back there. You guys can stay here until you need to go home.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I’ll stay while we’re having fun, but I’m not here to be a burden. If you and I call an end to this betwe
en us, I’ll have security escort me, Franci and Chelle to our room, pack and we’ll move hotels. I’ve got this handled.”

  She kept saying that, and it was getting on his nerves. Couldn’t she just let him take care of her a little bit? Right. Like the time she was sick and told everyone it was just a sore throat? By the time he got to her condo to check on her, she’d been burning with fever and scared the fuck out of him. He’d been damned closed to calling nine-one-one. After he’d dragged her to urgent care, he’d spent that night on her couch, not giving a shit that she insisted she’d be fine.

  Fine his ass.

  But arguing wouldn’t do anything but make her more stubborn. “I need to check the duck.”

  She shot him a grin. “You just had to prove your duck dominance, didn’t you?”

  Ethan lifted an eyebrow as they walked in the house together. “You dare to question my duck dominance? You’ll be eating those words, sunshine, when you taste my culinary delight.”

  “I tasted one of your delights this morning.”

  The image of Ana kissing down his chest and stomach to lavish attention on his cock seared his brain. His blood heated, and his dick engorged with a throb. She’d taken her sweet time torturing him, learning what he liked… He had to stop thinking about it.

  Yanking her off her feet and up against his body, he fisted her hair, careful not to hurt her. “Making me think about you sucking my cock was evil, little witch.” He pressed his hard-on into her belly.

  Challenge gleamed in her eyes. “Don’t burn your duck.”

  “Right now, I don’t care if the whole house catches on fire.” Not when he held Ana. Sweet and sassy as hell, and so giving it made his chest ache. “You keep it up, I’m going to drag you to the nearest private space, rip those shorts off and make you come.”

  “Tell you what. If your duck is as good as you claim, then I’ll let you have your way with me. Anything you want.”

  Raw lust lashed through him. After she’d told him this morning she liked the adrenaline rush of a little force, he’d been thinking about it. “Careful with those promises, baby. I used to daydream about you in the bakery. I’d ask you out, and you’d tell me no. There are customers and your boss around, so I have no choice, I leave.”