Moondust

by J. L. Weil

  That didn’t sound pleasant. “I am not positive my mind can handle that right now,” I mumbled.

  “I know what you can do, what you are. I want to help you,” he whispered low enough for just my ears.

  I tripped, my head snapping in his direction. Bug-eyed, I felt my mouth hit the floor. I really needed to work on masking my emotions. “W-what?” I stuttered, slumping against the nearest wall for support. No way he meant what I thought he meant, right?

  He stopped, caging me by placing a hand on either side of my arms. “I take it by the goofy look on your face, that I took you by surprise. Well, I’ll let you in a little secret: I’ve known for a while.”

  My eyes sharpened. I didn’t like that he kept so many secrets from me. Every time I turned around, he was admitting something else. He knew I was a witch. He knew I wasn’t just a dream. He knew that I could dreamscape. And apparently my darkest secret—that I was a clàr silte.

  I got an uneasy tingle down my neck. “What are you talking about?” I pretended ignorance, not yet ready to reveal the truth. It was possible that we weren’t talking about the same thing at all. And if Morgana was right, one of them, Gavin or Lukas, wasn’t who he claimed to be but which? I was more confused than ever. Gavin already knew the horrible thing I could do. It wasn’t because I trusted him more, but because he had been my first victim. Kind of unavoidable.

  But Lukas…

  Was it an unfair advantage that one knew and not the other? What if the only way I could figure out which one truly cared for me were to tell them both, put them on even playing fields? My heart and my head were at war with each other, but I knew that for my safety and my aunt’s I couldn’t make any mistakes.

  “It’s okay. You can trust me,” Lukas said.

  My gaze fell. “I’ve got to get to class.” I turned, but his hand shot out, preventing me from my intended slippery escape. I wanted to mull over some ideas before I said anything I couldn’t take back.

  “You’ve got this all wrong, Brianna. I want to help you harness your gift. You are extremely powerful, and there are risks—ginormous ones. But I know you can handle them.”

  A faint tremor went through me. What he was implying scared me to death. The small taste of power I had gotten was too alluring, like a drug. I didn’t want to become addicted; there would be no stopping the monster it unleashed.

  No, I didn’t want it.

  Shaking his arm off, I said, “I’ll talk to you later.”

  He gave a slight nod of his head. “I think your boyfriend wants to rearrange my face. I guess you aren’t the only one with trust issues.”

  I rolled my eyes and took off down the hall. Gavin was at my side, matching my strides. “What did asshole want?”

  I didn’t know what to say, but I knew if I told him the truth, he would go ape shit. I needed time to think. “Nothing,” I muttered. “He wanted to know if we’re still going to practice you-know-what.”

  His eyes went gloomy. “And?”

  “I told him that I had to think it over.” I glanced at the clock hanging in the hallway. Classes had started five minutes ago.

  Damn.

  ***

  I retreated to an empty corner of the library. My schoolwork had been suffering for the last few months, and I was having a hard time concentrating, understandably. There had been a lot of crazy distractions in my life, but if I wanted to graduate, I needed to get my head back on task.

  With about as much enthusiasm as eating brussel sprouts, I opened my massive trig book and prepared to fry my brain. Math has that effect on me. Flipping open my notebook, I searched the bottom of my bag for a pencil. The chair beside me scrapped across the floor and a stack of books joined mine on the table with a thump.

  “So you are back to hiding out in the library?”

  I lifted my lashes, spotting Sophie’s angelic face and exhaled. “It is the only way I have time to actually study lately.”

  The material of her jeans rustled as she made herself comfortable in the seat next to me. “Is my brother sneaking into your room at night?”

  I was pretty sure she was teasing, but my jaw dropped. Maybe we hadn’t been as inconspicuous or clever as we had thought. I had one guy who slipped into my room and the other my dreams. How do I get myself into these pickles?

  I sat back in my chair. “Sophie, how is my aura today?” I hadn’t really expected there to be a change in the dark spots that had appeared on my aura, but it was worth a shot. I believed in miracles. And I was in desperate need of one.

  She tilted her head to the side, studying the outline of my profile, seeing the colored glow of my spirit. “It’s a bluish-grey. You are under a lot of stress and…” she paused. “You still doubt yourself.” Her eyes became sympathetic. “Regardless of what you think, you have come a long way. Magic isn’t learned or controlled overnight. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

  If she only knew the half of it and what I had done to her brother, then she might not be so understanding.

  Sometimes it sucked that she could read me so well. I sighed. “And the spots?”

  She nodded. “Still there. I can’t be positive and I didn’t want to alarm you, but I think they might have spread.”

  I tried to keep the disappointment from my face. It made perfect sense though. I had done unthinkable magic. “I was afraid you were going to say that.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  The million-dollar question. I tapped my pencil on the table. “What can I do?”

  She stayed with me, keeping me company as I worked on my homework. It was nice not to be alone, even if I got the impression she was looking out for me, making sure I was okay. On our way out of the library, she paused at the double doors. “Hey, how about we catch a movie sometime soon—you, Austin, Tori and me? Take your mind off all the crap.”

  I smiled. I liked the sound of that. “Sure.”

  She beamed at me and waved as we split off down the halls.

  The rest of my day felt like all I did was play catch up. I went straight home after school. Evading Gavin’s dangerous smirks and the insinuations behind them had been challenging, but somehow I had managed.

  Scooping up the black fur ball, Lunar and I headed upstairs to my room. I was thinking I needed a power nap, but first I had to take care of something. I reached into my bag and dug out my cellphone. Sending a quick text to Lukas, I waited for his reply, nuzzling my face into Lunar’s silky soft coat. A moment later he responded and nervous knots formed in my stomach.

  Have you thought any more about my offer?

  Have I ever.It was all I thought about.Yep.

  You aren’t going to be cruel and leave me hangin’ He texted back immediately.

  My fingers danced over the keys. I just don’t know if I can trust you.

  Ouch. You wound me.

  I plopped on my bed. Whatever.

  My phone buzzed.You know that I can help you.

  Did I? I guess it was time to lay all the cards on the table.Fine. After school tomorrow. We’ll talk.

  There. The decision was made. Now I hoped I had the gonads to go through with it and whatever needed to be done. I knew that at the end of all this I would have to say goodbye to one of them.

  I pressed my hand over my chest. The idea of losing either Gavin or Lukas gave me chest pains. Morgana better be right about this or I was never going to forgive her for putting so much stress on my shoulders. Family or not, she’d better not be screwing with me.

  And the plot of my so called life curdles.

  I felt like I was playing a dangerous game where the stakes were higher than anything I would face in my life again. This was it. Sink or swim. I needed to figure out who I could trust. Keep your enemies closer, except I didn’t know who my enemies were.

  I think Morgana just wanted to torment me.

  Her visits had become few and far between, so why not today? It was already a pretty strange day, and I was feeling overwhelmed. Her timing was alwa
ys impeccable.

  Chapter 9

  To add another layer of demented to my life, Morgana didn’t call me in my sleep. She summoned me while I was still awake.

  WTF?

  No sooner had I sent my last text to Lukas than I started to feel a coldness wash over me. Rolling over on my back, I took a deep breath, eyes fixed on the ceiling. I knew the moment the ice touched my blood that something was going to happen. If there was one thing that I was getting good at, it was recognizing things as supernatural.

  I blinked, which might have been a mistake.

  A blinding white light flashed behind my eyes. The kind that leaves your vision impaired with glowing circles. Just relax, said a voice inside my head. Don’t fight it. I forced my limbs to go lax, letting myself get sucked under.

  It was like daydreaming on crack.

  The foggy white mist began to fade from my vision and was replaced by a deep purple and orange sunset. The lines streaked across the horizon. Tall elms encased the small clearing where I found myself with a spectacular view of a calm pond. The setting sun reflected off the water making it appear blacker than its apparently usual crystal blue.

  I shook my head. A minute ago I had been staring at the fractures in my ceiling and now I was in paradise. Morgana stepped into the glade. Her long red hair glittered in the sunset, flowing over her bare shoulders. She had on a fluid dress that trailed behind her over the mossy grass. It was modest compared to some of the other getups I had seen her in. For the first time, I saw a different side of her—less seductive and more saintly.

  I grinned. “It’s been awhile, Grams.”

  She made a funny face, purplish eyes twinkling. “You make me sound old.”

  “You are old. Like thousands of years old.”

  She tapped a nail on her lips, which were fuchsia today instead of blood red. “Oh right. But you have to admit I look fabulous for my age.”

  That she did, and I bet she could make herself appear however she desired. I actually missed her. Who would have thunk? It seemed like a lifetime ago when I thought she was trying to kill me. “You summoned me, Oh Mighty One.”

  Her lips pursed. “Hmm. I could get used to that. It has a nice ring.”

  I rolled my eyes. Only Morgana would take my sarcasm and turn into flattery. “I was wondering when I was going to see you again. I have only about a gazillion questions for you. It crossed my mind that maybe you abandoned me.”

  She tried to hide the sad look that popped into her eyes, but she wasn’t quick enough; I’d seen it. Our time together would eventually come to an end and neither of us wanted to admit that it would royally suck. “So have you figured out my little riddle yet, love?” she asked.

  I tucked my hair behind my ears, trying to keep it from blowing in my face. “You mean have I decided which one is going to destroy me? The answer is no.”

  “Time is ticking.”

  I gave her a dry glare. Thanks for the nasty reminder.

  She waved a hand in the air. “Alright. Fine. Ask away.”

  “What exactly do you mean one will destroy me?” I needed a little more clarity here. Would one of them kill me? Or was it less literal, like one will ruin my life?

  She looped her arm through mine and started to stroll, her soft slippers squishing the on the grass. “It is the soul you need to concern yourself with.”

  “My soul,” I repeated. “The blackness.”

  She nodded. “There is both light and dark magic inside you. Most witches are born light and turn to darkness, but our bloodline is born with both. The choice is yours.”

  Wow. I didn’t really think it was much of a choice. Good or bad?

  Duh. I choose good.

  “And you’re positive this will come to pass?” I asked.

  She gave a ladylike snort. “Is my name Morgana Le Fay?”

  I rolled my eyes.

  She paused at the water’s edge, gazing out. “No daughter of mine will be claimed by darkness, not like I was. It is why I am here—to save you from enduring a fate such as mine.”

  God, was I doomed? If Morgana hadn’t been able to resist the temptation of power, how would I? She was the strongest witch I knew, even if she were technically dead. “You gave yourself to darkness?”

  She sighed, and it was the first time I saw trouble brew in her stormy eyes. “I did. And it controlled me for many, many years. It took precious time I could never get back—never make up for. That, my dear, is why I have a very special interest in your success. Before I passed onto the other side, I rectified my wrongs. I cleansed my magic, my soul. But it was too late for me. The damage was done, irreparable at that point.”

  “What happened?”

  She raised her face into the breeze. It carried a light scent of sea and pine. “I got a taste of the most alluring magic I’d ever felt. Combine that with a hot guy and love—I was destined to sink.”

  I snorted. “I can’t believe you were in love.”

  A small smirk curved the corner of her lips. “It feels like yesterday.”

  Scuffing my feet as we walked, I asked, “What happened to him?”

  Her mouth twisted, looking dark and ill-omened. “Why he joined me in Hell of course.”

  Gulp.

  Well, that just put a disconsolate damper on things. “Your soul is in H-Hell?” I couldn’t even get the word out. It seemed too horrible to imagine. I knew that she was capable of unthinkable things, but I had come to know her, to care about her. Hell was no place for Morgana.

  She turned me to toward her, framing her hands on my face. “Don’t worry for me, love. It’s not so bad: I got to see you. And if it is the last act I do, I will ensure that you don’t join me.”

  If I had any doubts about Morgana’s loyalty or her motives, they were squashed. The sheer determination in her eyes and the electric current at her fingertips did the trick. “This is all just so much,” I mumbled.

  Straightening up to her full height, she lifted her chin. “No one said being a witch was a walk in the park.” She started walking again and I jogged to catch up, following her on a dirt path. “So how is Dark and Handsome handling your powers?” she asked.

  “Like I never tried to drain him of his powers,” I mumbled.

  “That bothers you,” she said in more of a statement than a question.

  I gave a lopsided shrug.

  “And the other—the dream stalker?”

  The woods opened up to a rocky shore. “He doesn’t know…yet,” I added. The plan was to tell him tomorrow.

  Her delicate brows lifted. “Hmm. Why the hesitation? I assumed by your troubled heart that you would have already spilled the beans.”

  My stomach tumbled over itself. “I’m afraid to trust anyone, even myself. What if I end up hurting him, or worse?” Taking witches’ powers was as bad as stealing their souls. I might as well just plunge a knife in their backs.

  She scoffed. “Sounds like a lame excuse.”

  Was it just an excuse? Was I making things so much more complex because I was letting my fear rule me? I was so afraid of this power inside me that I couldn’t see clearly.

  I swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in my throat. “Sophie says that the darkness in my soul is growing.”

  Her violet eyes sobered. “And it will. Every time you take an ounce of magic from another witch, it will blacken your heart. You don’t use that kind of magic without a hefty price, dear.”

  “What if I am unable to stop myself from using it?” I knew that there was panic in my eyes as I looked up at her.

  She looked directly into my eyes, and it was almost like looking at my reflection. “Do not doubt yourself. There is power in belief. Trust in that. Trust in your choices. They will make you stronger.”

  Ugh. She made it sound like a piece of cake.

  “I wish I could steal some of your confidence.”

  She laughed. “I think you have plenty. It’s in your blood. You just need to unleash it.”

  My
shoulders sagged. “Tell me you have a spell for that.”

  Her hands touched my shoulders. “Not everything can be fixed with a spell. The storm is coming, Brianna. Be prepared.” Those were her final words before the white light blinded me and I was once again staring at my ceiling.

  Chapter 10

  The doorbell rang, and I jumped even though I was expecting him. I thought about asking Gavin to be here with me when I told Lukas, but then I remembered that they couldn’t stand each other. I didn’t want my house to suffer any damage from their fireworks.

  So it was just Lukas and me—and my huge secret.

  Disheveled frat boy. That was my first impression when I opened the door and saw Lukas. The North Carolina sun was hidden behind gloomy clouds as if the skies felt my nervousness, but it didn’t matter. When Lukas smiled, he brought the sun.

  I frowned. “Why do you look like you just won the lottery?” His cheerfulness made me leery; it felt like he had a trick up his sleeve.

  Leaning his shoulder on the doorframe, he said, “I’m just happy you came to your senses.”

  I wrinkled my nose. “You’re weird.”

  Unfazed, he brushed past me into the house, and I shut the door behind him. “That’s not the response I usually get.”

  Lunar took one peek at the newcomer and bolted out of the room, nails catching on the carpet. I glanced at the fuzz-ball. “I bet. Lucky for you, I am anything but normal.”

  His eyes laughed. “It’s why I like you best.”

  When he said stuff like that, it made me uncomfortable. My cheeks flushed, and I shook my head helplessly. “Do you even go to classes anymore? You are still in college aren’t you?” I thought about his just popping into my school the other day.

  He made himself right at home, stretching out on the couch, his long legs extending under the glass coffee table. “If the mood strikes me,” he replied, settling.

  I bit my lip, enough with the pleasantries. He was making me edgy. I was trying to take Morgana’s advice, find my inner confidence, so I blurted out, “What is going on with you? Lately, you don’t seem yourself.” I took a seat on the chair across from him, my leg bouncing.