Moondust

by J. L. Weil

  He smirked at my hesitation. “I promise it tastes better than it looks. It will just ease the aches and pains.”

  Now that he mentioned it, all the small cuts and bruising was gone from his face. His mom was handy to have around. Regardless of what he said, I braced myself for the nasty aftertaste. Surprisingly, there was none. It was tasteless.

  “Are you hungry?” he asked, releasing me and leaned against the porch rail.

  I shook my head, turning around to face him. There was no way I could eat, not with my stomach twisting and turning. I might not eat again. “Morgana was there,” I mentioned out of the blue.

  His eyes narrowed. “What did that witch say?”

  The way he said “witch”, implied that he was calling her a foul name. I imagined she would have gotten a kick out of it. Suddenly, my heart felt heavy—burdened. “She said goodbye.”

  The whole demeanor on his face changed. Sympathy glistened in his eyes. “That must have been hard.”

  “It was. I never thought I would end up caring about her so much.” She had in her own way saved me.

  Shifting his weight, he crossed one leg over another. “Love works in mysterious ways.”

  That it did—mysterious and sometimes demented ways. Lukas’s so-called claim that he loved me was proof. A bitter taste filled the back of my throat. “I tore the magic right from his soul.” Tears welled up and spilled down my cheeks before I could stop them.

  He grabbed my hand. “Bri, you did what you had to do.”

  I sounded reasonable, but did I? Was there no other way? My control slipped. This whole time I had convinced myself that I would never use dark magic, but when it came down to it, at the first sign of trouble and that was exactly what I had done. And the worst part was, I would do it again. If it meant protecting Gavin, I wouldn’t blink. “I’m a monster,” I whispered.

  “What?” Disbelief laced his tone. “How can you think that?”

  “Do you see what I did to him?”

  He placed his hands on my shoulders, his brows wrinkled in concern. “And if you hadn’t Lukas would have done worse. The difference is you used your powers to protect. You acted out of self-defense. Lukas used them for greed, personal gain.”

  I dragged a lungful of air. “It’s hard to admit out loud, but I would do it again. If anyone threatened you or my aunt, I wouldn’t hesitate.”

  He made a sound in the back of his throat, and then pulled me into his arms. The tears came. My shoulders shook as I purged myself, overcome with guilt. Gavin held me close, rocking me, rubbing my back. When the tears stopped, he pulled back, grasping my face in his hands. “You look like you are about to drop dead on your feet.”

  I gave a wet snort. “Is that your way of telling me I look like crap?”

  There was a glimmer of a smirk on his lips, not the full heart stopping kind, but it still touched me. “Hardly. In my eyes, you could never look anything but beautiful. I know you are good inside, and no spell is going to tell me otherwise.”

  I laughed. “That was so cheesy.”

  He kissed the tip of my nose. “You loved it.”

  I did, because I loved him. His words all teasing aside wrapped around me, filling me with warmth. He might not be able to wash away all my fears or the guilt weighing inside me, but for the moment, they were what I needed.

  His hands trailed down my bare arms. “You should lie down, or I could carry you…”

  Otherwise, I was going to get off my feet one way or the other. The question was whether or not he was going to have to force me. “Only if come with me?” I countered, knowing he was right. I was feeling pale and lightheaded.

  His answer was to twine our fingers.

  Wordlessly, I climbed on the bed and scooted over, making room for him. He slid under the covers, tucking me into his arms. I rested my head on his chest, just under his chin and felt him brush his lips against my hair.

  We lay there talking about nothing and everything for a few hours, passing the time. He made me laugh when I didn’t think I could, taking my mind off the heavy stuff. Our arms and legs we were tangled together. The sun had gone down, and it was nearing midnight when I let a yawn.

  A wicked glint lit in his eyes. “I know what you need.” His hand traveled over my hip, then dipped at the waist. The mischief in his smoky blue eyes told me just what he had in mind.

  I held my breath. “Oh yeah, and what might that be?” I drew a heart with my finger over his heart.

  He ran his finger down my cheek. “I think it’s better if I show you,” he said in a sinful tenor, easing me gently on my back.

  I beamed. “What are you waiting for?” I was impatient to lose myself in what he offered.

  Grinning, he bent down and took my mouth, slanting his head to get the perfect fit. My eyes fluttered shut and the fireflies in my belly went wacko. I ran my fingers into the still slightly damp hair that curled at the nape of his neck. A faint spark jumped from my skin to his.

  Turned out, he meant kissing and stuff. I needed a little bit of both.

  I moved, throwing my leg over his. I flicked my tongue across his silver hoop, sending us both into frenzy. He growled, deepening the kiss and emptying my brain. Every inch of my skin was sensitive to his touch, heating and glimmering as his fingertips teased me. From there things went to sauna hot. Clothing bunched up. Sheets pushed aside.

  My lips felt swollen from his silky kisses. God, he was just so damn good at it.

  Squeezing a hand at my hip, his tongue swirled in my mouth, and my heart slammed against my ribs.

  Holy awesome sauce.

  “Make me forget, if not for a night,” I murmured. My voice broke as he nipped at my lip.

  Thick, long lashes hooded eyes like the color of the ocean’s floor—dark and blue. “I can do that,” he whispered.

  I shivered.

  In the background, waves splashed in a romantic melody, singing in harmony with the sounds of nature. It was like one of those relaxation CD’s my aunt pumped through the shop’s speakers.

  Sliding his lips from mine, he briefly nuzzled my ear, and then at the hollow of my neck. Not even the cool breeze from the sea could give my flushed body relief. I was burning from the inside out. The weight of him did wicked things to my thoughts.

  Hubba hubba.

  I balled my hands into the sheets, gripping tight in an attempt to keep myself from flying off the bed. Just like the first time, it was sweet, ignitable, and dazzling. Not once did I think about Lukas, my deteriorating soul, or the fact that Gavin’s mom was somewhere in the house.

  But something was different. Me.

  Inside my head, I could hear a dark voice whispering—enticing. I couldn’t make out the words, however the intent was crystal clear—it was vile. My head shook from side to side on the pillow. I had to stop. I couldn’t be with Gavin. Not with this gloominess flowing in my veins. I had a harder time convincing my body to pull away. It thrived under his touch, curving into the hard planes of his torso. But my body wasn’t alone in its desire, my magic also responded—humming at the surface.

  But as long as the darkness was poisoning my soul, I couldn’t risk his wellbeing. I would never in a thousand years forgive myself if I hurt him. And my instincts told me that I wasn’t out of the woods yet. Not by a long shot.

  Finding a bit of resilience, I pushed at his chest, breaking off our kiss. “I can’t,” I muttered, my breathing uneven.

  His eyes were iridescent in the twilight as he glanced down into my face. “What’s wrong?” he asked in a raspy voice.

  How did I tell him what was happening to me when I myself didn’t know? “I can’t be with you like this,” I said, fumbling with the sheets. The words got stuck in my throat. Bringing up Lukas’s name while we were in bed signaled all kinds of red flags, but I owned him honesty. “Not while the darkness of his magic is swirling around in my blood. It is trying to mess with my head. I won’t let it. I refuse to let it touch you.”

  He pushed
the hair away from my face. “What can I do?” There was a glint at frustration that even now Lukas had found a way to get between us, but the softness of his fingers told me that he wasn’t upset with me.

  “Just hold me,” I said, suddenly feeling my blood turn to ice.

  Pressing a tender kiss to my lips, he tucked me at his side, securing his arms around me. “You’re worried,” he said.

  I played with the ends of his hair, loving the silky texture between my fingers. I wasn’t the only one who enjoyed it. Gavin’s eyes were closed, and like a giant cat, he stretched out beside me. I swear he practically purred—a rumbling in the back of his throat.

  Hell yes. How could I not be? So much was still at stake for me. I didn’t want to ruin the ending to what had started as a horrific night. He had been able to override the memory of what was worst night of my life with something extraordinary, and then I go and ruin it. I squeezed him hard. “I am.”

  “It’s going to be okay.”

  I wanted to believe him, trust in his confidence. Sometimes it felt as if he knew me better than I knew myself. Snuggling up against him, it would have taken an army of witches to pry me away from him.

  He settled in, his leg brushing mine. I flatted my hand over his chest, entranced by the electric current still flowing between us. Settling in for what was sure to be a long and restless night, I closed my eyes. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Sleep overtook me within seconds. No dreams. There was no one left to invade them. No Lukas. No Morgana.

  Chapter 25

  I woke up with eye boogers at the corner of my eyes and Gavin’s arm draped over me. It was a nice place to be. The air in his room smelled of sea and pine. Soft whips of wind pattered through the opened balcony door. I felt invigorated.

  Unfortunately that wasn’t the only thing I felt. Along with the rejuvenation of a dreamless night (which was bittersweet) there was a heavy shadow that grew inside me. Trapped, it clawed and spread like fog over my magic, overtaking the good bit by bit.

  It was the realization that today I was going to have to face the consequences of my actions…and the awkward morning after.

  Err. I’d never woken up at a boy’s house before. How was I supposed to react? Play it cool. Be natural.

  If only I knew how to play it cool.

  Carefully, I slide out from under his arm and turned on my side. I wasn’t ready to leave his bed just yet. It had become a sanctuary, a place free of the demons I didn’t want to face. A place where if only for a little while I was able to pretend that everything was fine and we were just a boy and girl hopelessly in love.

  Lying on my hands, I studied the sharp planes of his cheekbones, the curve of his lip and how the silver hoop at the center caught the morning light. It might have been silly, but having Gavin hold me had kept my fears at bay.

  He had a boyish peacefulness to his face that wasn’t there when he was awake. I smiled to myself. A stray curl hung over his forehead. Unable to resist the urge, I brush the straggler aside.

  Then I caught the scent of coffee. It enticed me in a pull I couldn’t ignore. Tiptoeing like a lame ninja from his room, I followed the bitter roasting smell. One whiff had awakened my caffeine addiction like a wild beast.

  “Oh boy,” Sophie said when she got a glimpse of me. “Rough night?”

  I walked straight to the brewing pot with nothing but coffee on the brain. There were a few mugs lined on the counter next to it. Mrs. Mason thought of everything. Before I could think about uttering anything coherent, I needed my caffeine fix. Pouring a generous cup, I plopped down onto a stool beside her, and it wasn’t until after my first sip that I mumbled, “You could say that.”

  “Your one of those girls,” Sophie said, smiling and nodded to the cup clutched in my hand as if I was afraid someone was going to snatch it.

  With half-lidded eyes I noticed that she had already showered and was wearing one of her hippy-type dresses in jewel tones. I hate her. When I wake up, I look like a zombie munched on my hair. Sophie looked like she had just spent the entire day at the spa. “And your one of those girls,” I shot back, blowing the steam from my mug.

  She laughed, and it was a pleasant sound to hear in the morning. “I might know a spell or two. I could teach you.”

  “Will it eliminate me having to stick a bristle brush near my eye? If so, when do we start?”

  Her smile bloomed. “I always wondered what it would be like to have a sister. I kind of like the idea, as long as it is you.”

  “Umm. Thanks…I think.” If we were going to get into the emotional-heavy-stuff, then I was going to need another cup of coffee, and a piece of that French toast that was staring me in the face.

  “There is something different about you this morning,” Sophie commented.

  But before I could reply, Gavin sauntered in with a massive grin on his face and took the seat next to me. “We didn’t get much sleep.”

  My skin tingled, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Even in black sweats and a shirt he made my heart somersault. I tried not to let the implication of his tone embarrass me.

  I failed.

  Sophie plucked a strawberry from her plate and tossed it at his head. “Gross. That’s not what I meant, you bonehead.”

  There was no avoiding it. I flushed the same color as the bowl of strawberries on the counter.

  Sophie made an icky face. “If you start dishing all the gory details about your sexual prowess, I might lose my breakfast.” She slid us both a plate and passed down a heap piling of French toast.

  Gavin mouthed, sexual prowess?

  I shrugged, forking a piece on my plate. Gavin snatched what was left on the serving plate, and I lifted my brows. He had almost an entire loaf of bread in front of him.

  He winked. “I worked up an appetite.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  Sophie gagged. “I’m going to be sick.”

  I could get use to this. There was such a sense of a family between Gavin and Sophie, even when they were bickering they were a tight knit unit. Before finding out that I was a witch, when I thought about my future, I imagined having a family like his. Big. Lively. Trustworthy. It was hard to see that dream move further from my reach, because more than ever, I wanted that with him. And that meant I had to save myself first.

  Smothering the golden pieces of toast in melted butter and Aunt Jemima syrup, I took another bite. “What did you mean something is different about me?” I asked Sophie, swallowing a whopping bite of goodness. Then I got momentarily distracted. Food had that effect on me. I don’t know what they did to their French toast, but it was heavenly.

  Ah, the little things in life.

  Sophie stabbed a strawberry and met my gaze. “You don’t have a soul anymore.”

  My mouth hit the floor.

  Gavin’s fork stopped midair, dripping syrup on his plate.

  The waves quieted. The wind stopped whistling. And the world went silent. “Come again,” I said densely.

  “Sophie,” he growled. “Couldn’t you have at least waited until after I ate?”

  I gave him a little jab in the side.

  Her eyes were wide with fear, but it wasn’t directed at me. It was fear for me. “I can’t see your aura. All of your usual colors are gone. There’s nothing but blackness surrounding you.”

  “Nothing?” Gavin repeated, his appetite forgotten.

  Sophie squinted, focusing on my outline. It made me want to squirm in my seat. “There might be just a fraction of murkiness, but it won’t be long until it’s wiped out completely. Whatever you did…it’s bad.”

  Gavin gave Sophie a shortened version of yesterday’s events while I made hearts in my remaining syrup with my fork. Everything about yesterday seemed chaotic and surreal. The evil, it was all through me. It was in my blood. I checked out of the conversation, having no inclination to relive it. Sophie had been right about one thing…I was in deep shit.

  I felt a wave of injustice and anger rise up in me. Darkness
roared in pleasure, inflaming its desire for chaos. The other part of me that recognized the threat fought. My head split in two, and I winced, my hand flying to my temple.

  “Bri, are you alright?” Gavin asked.

  The sharp pain had passed, leaving behind a dull ache. They both looked upon with worry in their eyes, watching me carefully. I cleared my throat. “I’m okay now.”

  His face tightens, because none of us believed that. I was miles from fine.

  Chapter 26

  I looked out the window, staring at the spot where my not-so-friendly encounter with Lukas had gone down. My eyes narrowed and focused on the tree line. I couldn’t help but wonder if I would ever see him again.

  I’d already lost so much.

  Lukas.

  Morgana.

  My soul.

  How much more could I possible lose?

  Everything. The answer frightened me. If anything happened to my aunt, my friends, or Gavin, let’s just say that losing my shit didn’t even come close to how I would react.

  A dull ache spread in my chest, becoming a physical pain. I rubbed my hand over the spot.

  “Are you ready for school?” Aunt Clara asked from the doorway of my bedroom.

  I turned around, feeling not quite like myself. Sure I was wearing my “comfy” clothes, my favorite lip-gloss, and a spritz of perfume, but none of those things changed how I felt in the inside. “Only five weeks left.”

  She groaned. “Don’t remind me. It is hard picturing this room without you in it every night. Who is going to make the coffee in the morning?”

  Oh no. Not again.

  Lately, she had been having little emotional breaks whenever she brought up college. I had bigger problems on my mind. Not to mention, I hadn’t had the heart to tell her that I was thinking of deferring for a year. With everything going on and all that has happened to me the last year, I just needed some time to uncover the answers I needed. My future was nothing if I couldn’t save my soul. Nada. Zilch. Doomed. I figured in the meantime, I could help out at the shop more while I did the whole self-discovery thing, then I could dedicate myself to a higher education.