More Than Us
Page 32
‘He’s from the village. Kind of mountain rescue. Turns out he’s married to the woman in the shop. She warned us about the weather.’
‘He came in the middle of the night?’
She nodded. ‘When the roof collapsed, Cameron remembered about the satellite you bought back in Aberdeen and called for help. Jim was the closest to us, so he was sent out to help and see if they needed to get the helicopters out when the weather cleared. We’ve been sheltering in his car. And it’s not the middle of the night anymore.’
I looked up and finally, could see some thin pinkish light slipping through the grey clouds. The rain seemed to be easing a little. Red sky in the morning; shepherds warning. Suddenly, I wanted to gather up my family and get out of here. It was time to go.
Forty-Seven
Emily
We thanked Jim profusely and insisted that we didn’t need an ambulance, but would all go to the local doctor when we got back to the village. I was worried about Tilly, but once she had a change of clothes, was wrapped in an old army blanket from Jim’s car, and drank some warm tomato soup from Jim’s thermos, she had stopped shivering and was warm to touch. Jim was going to drive back to the village the way he had come, along some old fire trails that he knew. He would alert the council and the laird about the storm and the damage, then come back for us around lunchtime.
The ceiling of the main room had a gaping hole in it, over a metre wide, but the bedroom roof was solid. Cameron and Tilly ate some tinned peaches and strawberries, and Jim left them a bag of sweets. We would have a big lunch, back in the village. I didn’t dare bring up Tilly’s vomiting; for now, she was eating, and she was safe.
While they got back into their sleeping bags and lay down for a rest, Paul and I went for a walk, inland, away from the swollen river. We couldn’t talk near the bothy; words travelled miles in the clear air. We had needed this time to exist as one living, breathing family unit but now, we had to make a decision. I knew that our family circuit would never be repaired until we could either fix, or sever, the bond between Paul and me.
When we were about ten minutes’ walk away from camp, up the hillside, we sat on a big boulder. From here, we could see that the river had flooded the fields around us and was full of debris churning on its surface as it hurtled its way to the ocean. I shuddered at the thought that that could have been Tilly.
‘I’m leaving, Paul,’ I said, my voice strong even though inside I was quivering.
He nodded. ‘I know.’
‘Not just here. Scotland. I’m taking the children home.’
He nodded.
‘So, what are you going to do?’ I said sharply, turning to him. ‘It’s time to decide, Paul. I want things to go back to normal. The kids don’t need any more uncertainty.’
‘You’re right. I want to come home, but… but I don’t think I can live the same way.’
‘It doesn’t have to be the same. We can do anything. Quit your job, find something you love.’
‘How can I?’
‘Oh, for God’s sake, Paul. You don’t think we can survive on my income, the equity from the house and you having a normal job like everyone else? Mow lawns! Work in a supermarket! I don’t care what you do! I love you, Paul, not all the trimming that comes along with it.’
‘We’d have to sell the house, without my income. I don’t think I could find another job that pays as well.’
‘Then we’ll sell the house!’ I turned to him and clasped his hands. ‘Paul. When will you understand that I have never needed a giant house and fancy cars? Think about where we grew up! But we do need power and we need water, and the kids need friends. They need an education. And all I need is stability, and my family.’
He nodded, his eyes hopeful. ‘Would you really do that? Sell the house?’
I leaned forwards. ‘Paul. I don’t care about the house. We can have a fresh start. I’ve been thinking it was time to move anyway. Let’s move away from Damian and Phoenix. Let’s get back to the basics of what we need, as a family.’
His face crumpled and he pulled me towards him. ‘Thank you,’ he mumbled into my hair. ‘I love you so much.’
I held him, then broke away, laughing. ‘Are you sure about this?’
He grinned, and nodded. ‘Definitely.’
‘Let’s do it! Come on, let’s tell the kids!’
We stood up and hurried back down to our children.
Forty-Eight
Paul
Back at the bothy, I started to pack up everything quickly, to wipe away any evidence that we’d been here. There wasn’t much we could do about the roof but I tried to sweep the debris to the side at least. Emily had taken Tilly and Cameron for a walk to get them out of the way.
I watched her walk, the children either side of her. Emily was pointing at the hillside, to the cairn visible at the top. I imagined the men and women who had made it, and what it had meant to them. I closed my eyes and felt dizzy. I let myself hear the sounds of their voices, the birdsong, the rushing of the river, the clack of pebbles under its pull. Everything here felt ancient and alive, but while everything around us had adapted to life here, we couldn’t. And now, that was okay. I had to face the fact that despite everything I’d tried, I knew that our problems were not just in the world around us. I was part of a family and being part of a family made me a better person.
* * *
I was trying to stuff the sleeping bags into the tiny bags they had come in, when I heard voices laughing in the distance. I looked out of the window to the hillside and saw Emily and the kids busily scurrying around. I needed a break; I walked nearer to them and realised that they were staggering with rocks back to the pile I’d been making since I got here. I exhaled to compose myself as I kept walking towards them. Tilly saw me coming and waved. ‘Dad!’
I waved back, wiped my eyes and hurried over to them.
‘What are you all doing?’ I said, smiling. ‘Our last day and I finally get some helpers?’
‘We thought we’d finish it, Dad, for when we come back on another holiday. Maybe the next visitors will think it was made by ancient people.’
‘Hey, we’re not ancient,’ laughed Emily.
My chin trembled as I tried to keep my emotions in, but failed. Tilly whacked me playfully. ‘Come on, it’s not worth crying over! We need your help.’
I took a deep breath and smiled again. ‘Right, let’s get it finished.’
For the rest of the morning, the four of us searched along the shores of the river and up the hillside for the final stones, and when we had enough, we worked together to stack them, fitting the rocks together and keeping the structure stable. As the pile grew taller and narrower, it reached as high as Cameron.
‘Here, the last one,’ I said, handing it to him.
‘Wait!’ Emily said. ‘Just before you do that, kids, can we all say thanks to Dad for taking us on this amazing adventure?’
‘Thanks, Dad,’ they chimed in unison. Cameron reached onto the top of the cairn and fitted the stone on top perfectly, and we all jumped up and down and cheered and hugged each other, and I could have wept again, but this time with sheer joy.
Forty-Nine
Emily
I hadn’t let Tilly out of my sight since we left the bothy and she didn’t protest when I followed her to the bathroom to make sure she’d stopped vomiting. As soon as we’d gotten back to Aberdeen I’d taken her to the GP for blood tests and to have her weighed. She was not great, but she was safe, and we could travel back to Sydney and get her the help she needed there.
Later that day, when the kids were watching a movie with Marjorie, I went to talk to Paul, who was lying on the bed with his laptop open.
‘I’ve called Dr Davidson,’ I said quietly. ‘The psychiatrist. I’ve made an appointment for Tilly next week in Sydney. She’d like you to come too, if you can.’
He had looked up and after only a slight hesitation, nodded. ‘Okay. I’ll be there.’
‘I haven’t
made one for Cameron yet. We’ll see how he’s going once we get back, he’s been okay without the medication.’
‘That sounds good.’
I smiled, relieved. ‘Have you checked us in online?’
He nodded. ‘Yes. I’m just emailing Damian.’
I paused, waiting.
‘I’m just telling him that I’m giving him my notice that I’ll be resigning.’
‘That’s brilliant,’ I said.
He nodded, looked up at me briefly, smiled, then looked back at his computer.
‘I’ll leave you to it. We should take your mum out for dinner tonight, see if your sister wants to come, to say thanks.’
‘Sounds great.’
He looked up again and I ran over and kissed him.
That night, we went out for dinner, chatted and laughed and said tearful goodbyes to Fiona with long hugs and then the next day, we got on the plane.
* * *
The flight home went so quickly and before we knew it, the four of us were trudging through customs then pushing our luggage trolley out into the balmy, heady air of Sydney. And then, with the kids squabbling in the taxi queue and our bodies heavy with fatigue, we were just another family returning from a long holiday, ready to get back to the hard work of real life.
Zoe wanted a baby more than anything. But her dreams will come at a price…
Let Her Go by Dawn Barker
First published in the United Kingdom in 2018 by Canelo
Canelo Digital Publishing Limited
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Copyright © Dawn Barker, 2018
The moral right of Dawn Barker to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN 9781788630511
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places and events are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
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