Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man and Dubliners (Barnes & Noble Classics Series)

by James Joyce

  —0 yes, said Mr M’Coy, Tenebrae.

  -Allow me, said Mr Cunningham positively, it was Lux upon Lux. And Pius IX.acu his predecessor’s motto was Crux upon Crux—that is, Cross upon Cross—to show the difference between their two pontificates .5

  The inference was allowed. Mr Cunningham continued.

  -Pope Leo, you know, was a great scholar and a poet.

  -He had a strong face, said Mr Kernan.

  -Yes, said Mr Cunningham. He wrote Latin poetry.

  -Is that so? said Mr Fogarty.

  Mr M’Coy tasted his whisky contentedly and shook his head with a double intention, saying:

  -That’s no joke, I can tell you.

  -We didn’t learn that, Tom, said Mr Power, following Mr M’Coy’s example, when we went to the penny-a-week school.

  -There was many a good man went to the penny-a-week school with a sod of turf under his oxter,acv said Mr Kernan sententiously. The old system was the best: plain honest education. None of your modern trumpery....

  —Quite right, said Mr Power.

  -No superfluities, said Mr Fogarty.

  He enunciated the word and then drank gravely.

  —I remember reading, said Mr Cunningham, that one of Pope Leo’s poems was on the invention of the photograph—in Latin, of course.

  -On the photograph! exclaimed Mr Kernan.

  —Yes, said Mr Cunningham.

  He also drank from his glass.

  —Well, you know, said Mr M’Coy, isn’t the photograph wonderful when you come to think of it?

  —0, of course, said Mr Power, great minds can see things.

  -As the poet says: Great minds are very near to madness,acw said Mr Fogarty.

  Mr Kernan seemed to be troubled in mind. He made an effort to recall the Protestant theology on some thorny points and in the end addressed Mr Cunningham.

  —Tell me, Martin, he said. Weren’t some of the popes—of course, not our present man, or his predecessor, but some of the old popes—not exactly ... you know ... up to the knocker?

  There was a silence. Mr Cunningham said:

  —0, of course, there were some bad lots.... But the astonishing thing is this. Not one of them, not the biggest drunkard, not the most ... out-and-out ruffian, not one of them ever preached ex cathedra acx a word of false doctrine. Now isn’t that an astonishing thing?

  -That is, said Mr Kernan.

  —Yes, because when the Pope speaks ex cathedra, Mr Fogarty explained, he is infallible.

  —Yes, said Mr Cunningham.

  —0 I know about the infallibility of the Pope. I remember I was younger then.... Or was it that—?

  Mr Fogarty interrupted. He took up the bottle and helped the others to a little more. Mr M’Coy, seeing that there was not enough to go round, pleaded that he had not finished his first measure. The others accepted under protest. The light music of whisky falling into glasses made an agreeable interlude.

  —What’s that you were saying, Tom? asked Mr M’Coy.

  -Papal infallibility, said Mr Cunningham, that was the greatest scene in the whole history of the Church.

  -How was that, Martin? asked Mr Power.

  Mr Cunningham held up two thick fingers.

  -In the sacred college, you know, of cardinals and archbishops and bishops there were two men who held out against it while the others were all for it. The whole conclave except these two was unanimous. No! They wouldn’t have it!

  -Ha! said Mr M’Coy.

  —And they were a German cardinal by the name of Dolling ... or Dowlingacy ... or—

  -Dowling was no German, and that’s a sure five, said Mr Power, laughing.

  -Well, this great German cardinal, whatever his name was, was one; and the other was John MacHale.acz

  —What? cried Mr Kernan. Is it John of Tuam?

  -Are you sure of that now? asked Mr Fogarty dubiously. I thought it was some Italian or American.

  —John of Tuam, repeated Mr Cunningham, was the man.

  He drank and the other gentlemen followed his lead. Then he resumed :

  —There they were at it, all the cardinals and bishops and archbishops from all the ends of the earth and these two fighting dog and devil until at last the Pope himself stood up and declared infallibility a dogma of the Church ex catbedra. On the very moment John MacHale, who had been arguing and arguing against it, stood up and shouted out with the voice of a lion: Credo!

  —/ believe! said Mr Fogarty.

  -Credo! said Mr Cunningham. That showed the faith he had. He submitted the moment the Pope spoke.

  -And what about Dowling? asked Mr M’Coy.

  -The German cardinal wouldn’t submit. He left the church.

  Mr Cunningham’s words had built up the vast image of the church in the minds of his hearers. His deep, raucous voice had thrilled them as it uttered the word of belief and submission. When Mrs Kernan came into the room, drying her hands, she came into a solemn company. She did not disturb the silence, but leaned over the rail at the foot of the bed.

  —I once saw John MacHale, said Mr Kernan, and I’ll never forget it as long as I live.

  He turned towards his wife to be confirmed.

  —I often told you that?

  Mrs Kernan nodded.

  -It was at the unveiling of Sir John Gray’sada statue. Edmund Dwyer Grayadb was speaking, blathering away, and here was this old fellow, crabbed-looking old chap, looking at him from under his bushy eyebrows.

  Mr Kernan knitted his brows and, lowering his head like an angry bull, glared at his wife.

  -God! he exclaimed, resuming his natural face, I never saw such an eye in a man’s head. It was as much as to say: I have you properly taped, my lad. He had an eye like a hawk.

  -None of the Grays was any good, said Mr Power.

  There was a pause again. Mr Power turned to Mrs Kernan and said with abrupt joviality:

  -Well, Mrs Kernan, we’re going to make your man here a good holy pious and God-fearing Roman Catholic.

  He swept his arm round the company inclusively.

  —We’re all going to make a retreat together and confess our sins—and God knows we want it badly.

  —I don’t mind, said Mr Kernan, smiling a little nervously.

  Mrs Kernan thought it would be wiser to conceal her satisfaction. So she said:

  —I pity the poor priest that has to listen to your tale.

  Mr Kernan’s expression changed.

  -If he doesn’t like it, he said bluntly, he can ... do the other thing. I’ll just tell him my little tale of woe. I’m not such a bad fellow—

  Mr Cunningham intervened promptly.

  -We’ll all renounce the devil, he said, together, not forgetting his works and pomps.

  -Get behind me, Satan!adc said Mr Fogarty, laughing and looking at the others.

  Mr Power said nothing. He felt completely out-generalled. But a pleased expression flickered across his face.

  -All we have to do, said Mr Cunningham, is to stand up with lighted candles in our hands and renew our baptismal vows.

  —0, don’t forget the candle, Tom, said Mr M’Coy, whatever you do.

  -What? said Mr Kernan. Must I have a candle?

  —0 yes, said Mr Cunningham.

  -No, damn it all, said Mr Kernan sensibly, I draw the line there. I’ll do the job right enough. I’ll do the retreat business and confession, and ... all that business. But ... no candles! No, damn it all, I bar the candles!

  He shook his head with farcical gravity.

  -Listen to that! said his wife.

  —I bar the candles, said Mr Kernan, conscious of having created an effect on his audience and continuing to shake his head to and fro. I bar the magic-lantern business.

  Everyone laughed heartily.

  —There’s a nice Catholic for you! said his wife.

  -No candles! repeated Mr Kernan obdurately. That’s off!

  The transeptadd of the Jesuit Church in Gardiner Street was almost full; and still at every moment g
entlemen entered from the side door and, directed by the lay-brother,ade walked on tiptoe along the aisles until they found seating accommodation. The gentlemen were all well dressed and orderly. The light of the lamps of the church fell upon an assembly of black clothes and white collars, relieved here and there by tweeds, on dark mottled pillars of green marble and on lugubrious canvases. The gentlemen sat in the benches, having hitched their trousers slightly above their knees and laid their hats in security. They sat well back and gazed formally at the distant speck of red light which was suspended before the high altar.

  In one of the benches near the pulpit sat Mr Cunningham and Mr Kernan. In the bench behind sat Mr M‘Coy alone: and in the bench behind him sat Mr Power and Mr Fogarty. Mr M’Coy had tried unsuccessfully to find a place in the bench with the others, and, when the party had settled down in the form of a quincunx,adf he had tried unsuccessfully to make comic remarks. As these had not been well received, he had desisted. Even he was sensible of the decorous atmosphere and even he began to respond to the religious stimulus. In a whisper, Mr. Cunningham drew Mr Kernan’s attention to Mr Harford, the money-lender, who sat some distance off, and to Mr Fanning, the registration agent and mayor maker of the city, who was sitting immediately under the pulpit beside one of the newly elected councillors of the ward. To the right sat old Michael Grimes, the owner of three pawnbroker’s shops, and Dan Hogan’s nephew, who was up for the job in the Town Clerk’s office. Farther in front sat Mr Hendrick, the chief reporter of The Freeman’s Journal, and poor O‘Carroll, an old friend of Mr Kernan’s, who had been at one time a considerable commercial figure. Gradually, as he recognised familiar faces, Mr Kernan began to feel more at home. His hat, which had been rehabilitated by his wife, rested upon his knees. Once or twice he pulled down his cuffs with one hand while he held the brim of his hat lightly, but firmly, with the other hand.

  A powerful-looking figure, the upper part of which was draped with a white surplice,adg was observed to be struggling up into the pulpit. Simultaneously the congregation unsettled, produced handkerchiefs and knelt upon them with care. Mr Kernan followed the general example. The priest’s figure now stood upright in the pulpit, two-thirds of its bulk, crowned by a massive red face, appearing above the balustrade.

  Father Purdon knelt down, turned towards the red speck of light and, covering his face with his hands, prayed. After an interval, he uncovered his face and rose. The congregation rose also and settled again on its benches. Mr Kernan restored his hat to its original position on his knee and presented an attentive face to the preacher. The preacher turned back each wide sleeve of his surplice with an elaborate large gesture and slowly surveyed the array of faces. Then he said: For the children of this world are wiser in their generation than the children of light. Wherefore make unto yourselves friends out of the mammonadh of iniquity so that when you die they may receive you into everlasting dwelling.adi

  Father Purdon developed the text with resonant assurance. It was one of the most difficult texts in all the Scriptures, he said, to interpret properly. It was a text which might seem to the casual observer at variance with the lofty morality elsewhere preached by Jesus Christ. But, he told his hearers, the text had seemed to him specially adapted for the guidance of those whose lot it was to lead the life of the world and who yet wished to lead that life not in the manner of worldlings. It was a text for business men and professional men. Jesus Christ, with His divine understanding of every cranny of our human nature, understood that all men were not called to the religious life, that by far the vast majority were forced to live in the world, and, to a certain extent, for the world: and in this sentence He designed to give them a word of counsel, setting before them as exemplars in the religious life those very worshippers of Mammon who were of all men the least solicitous in matters religious.

  He told his hearers that he was there that evening for no terrifying, no extravagant purpose; but as a man of the world speaking to his fellow-men. He came to speak to business men and he would speak to them in a businesslike way. If he might use the metaphor, he said, he was their spiritual accountant; and he wished each and every one of his hearers to open his books, the books of his spiritual life, and see if they tallied accurately with conscience.

  Jesus Christ was not a hard taskmaster. He understood our little failings, understood the weakness of our poor fallen nature, understood the temptations of this life. We might have had, we all had from time to time, our temptations: we might have, we all had, our failings. But one thing only, he said, he would ask of his hearers. And that was: to be straight and manly with God. If their accounts tallied in every point to say:

  —Well, I have verified my accounts. I find all well.

  But if, as might happen, there were some discrepancies, to admit the truth, to be frank and say like a man:

  —Well, I have looked into my accounts. I find this wrong and this wrong. But, with God’s grace, I will rectify this and this. I will set right my accounts.

  THE DEAD

  LILY, THE CARETAKER’S DAUGHTER, was literally run off her feet. Hardly had she brought one gentleman into the little pantry behind the office on the ground floor and helped him off with his overcoat than the wheezy hall-door bell clanged again and she had to scamper along the bare hallway to let in another guest. It was well for her she had not to attend to the ladies also. But Miss Kate and Miss Julia had thought of that and had converted the bathroom upstairs into a ladies’ dressing-room. Miss Kate and Miss Julia were there, gossiping and laughing and fussing, walking after each other to the head of the stairs, peering down over the banisters and calling down to Lily to ask her who had come.

  It was always a great affair, the Misses Morkan’s annual dance. Everybody who knew them came to it, members of the family, old friends of the family, the members of Julia’s choir, any of Kate’s pupils that were grown up enough, and even some of Mary Jane’s pupils too. Never once had it fallen flat. For years and years it had gone off in splendid style, as long as anyone could remember; ever since Kate and Julia, after the death of their brother Pat, had left the house in Stoney Batteradj and taken Mary Jane, their only niece, to live with them in the dark, gaunt house on Usher’s Island,adk the upper part of which they had rented from Mr Fulham, the corn-factoradl on the ground floor. That was a good thirty years ago if it was a day. Mary Jane, who was then a little girl in short clothes, was now the main prop of the household, for she had the organadm in Haddington Road. She had been through the Academyadn and gave a pupils’ concert every year in the upper room of the Antient Concert Rooms. Many of her pupils belonged to the better-class families on the Kingstown and Dalkey line.ado Old as they were, her aunts also did their share. Julia, though she was quite grey, was still the leading soprano in Adam and Eve’s,6 and Kate, being too feeble to go about much, gave music lessons to beginners on the old square piano in the back room. Lily, the caretaker’s daughter, did housemaid’s work for them. Though their life was modest, they believed in eating well; the best of everything: diamond-bone sirloins, three-shilling tea and the best bottled stout.adp But Lily seldom made a mistake in the orders, so that she got on well with her three mistresses. They were fussy, that was all. But the only thing they would not stand was back answers.

  Of course, they had good reason to be fussy on such a night. And then it was long after ten o’clock and yet there was no sign of Gabriel and his wife. Besides they were dreadfully afraid that Freddy Malins might turn up screwed.adq They would not wish for worlds that any of Mary Jane’s pupils should see him under the influence; and when he was like that it was sometimes very hard to manage him. Freddy Malin always came late, but they wondered what could be keeping Gabriel: and that was what brought them every two minutes to the banisters to ask Lily had Gabriel or Freddy come.

  —0, Mr Conroy, said Lily to Gabriel when she opened the door for him, Miss Kate and Miss Julia thought you were never coming. Goodnight, Mrs Conroy.

  -I’ll engage they did, said Gabriel, but th
ey forget that my wife here takes three mortal hours to dress herself.

  He stood on the mat, scraping the snow from his goloshes, while Lily led his wife to the foot of the stairs and called out:

  -Miss Kate, here’s Mrs Conroy.

  Kate and Julia came toddling down the dark stairs at once. Both of them kissed Gabriel’s wife, said she must be perished alive, and asked was Gabriel with her.

  -Here I am as right as the mail, Aunt Kate! Go on up. I’ll follow, called out Gabriel from the dark.

  He continued scraping his feet vigorously while the three women went upstairs, laughing, to the ladies’ dressing-room. A light fringe of snow lay like a cape on the shoulders of his overcoat and like toecaps on the toes of his goloshes; and, as the buttons of his overcoat slipped with a squeaking noise through the snow-stiffened frieze, a cold, fragrant air from out-of-doors escaped from crevices and folds.

  -Is it snowing again, Mr Conroy? asked Lily.

  She had preceded him into the pantry to help him off with his overcoat. Gabriel smiled at the three syllables she had given his surname and glanced at her. She was a slim, growing girl, pale in complexion and with hay-coloured hair. The gas in the pantry made her look still paler. Gabriel had known her when she was a child and used to sit on the lowest step nursing a rag doll.

  —Yes, Lily, he answered, and I think we’re in for a night of it.

  He looked up at the pantry ceiling, which was shaking with the stamping and shuffling of feet on the floor above, listened for a moment to the piano and then glanced at the girl, who was folding his overcoat carefully at the end of a shelf

  -Tell me, Lily, he said in a friendly tone, do you still go to school?

  —0 no, sir, she answered. I’m done schooling this year and more.

  —0, then, said Gabriel gaily, I suppose we’ll be going to your wedding one of these fine days with your young man, eh?

  The girl glanced back at him over her shoulder and said with great bitterness:

  —The men that is now is only all palaveradr and what they can get out of you.