Love Divide

by Cary Hart

  “I was going to tell you, but I had to figure out Carmen’s next move first.”

  He is on my heels when I swing around, pushing him as hard as I can. “I’m not a pawn in your chess game.”

  “Checkmate!” Carmen yells from the other room.

  Flipping her the bird, I head to the closet to get my bag.

  “Niki, please.” He’s behind me, grabbing me by the waist, pulling my back to his front. “Just give me ten minutes to explain. In private.”

  Laying my head back, I close my eyes, loving the feeling of what could have been, but that’s not my reality. Aiden Alexander lives a life that I never even knew existed. A life I can no longer be a part of.

  “Aiden, please let me go.” He drops his hands.

  Throwing my suitcase on the bed, I start to grab my things but realize, I don’t have anything that is mine except for my makeup. Heading to the bathroom, I take my small bag and stuff it into my purse and head for the door.

  “Really? That’s it? Niki, I would have bet money that you would have given a better show.” Carmen takes out her wallet, flipping through the hundreds. “I’ll give you five hundred to make your exit epic.”

  No, she didn’t.

  Walking up to Carmen, I grab the money and count it.

  “See, Aiden? Just like the rest of them. At least, you know—”

  I cut her off with a right hook to the jaw. “Checkmate, you fucking twat!” I throw the money at her face, grab my cell, slide on my flip flops and head for the door.

  “You asked for it, Carmen,” Aiden laughs as he chases me.

  “What?” I roar, turning around. “That is your fucking wife, you son of a bitch. YOUR WIFE!” I scream, throwing open the door and slamming it shut.

  “Goddamn it, Niki!”

  The door must have hit his hand, but I don’t stop to look. I keep walking, heading for anywhere but here.

  “Niki…please.” He’s now in front of me, walking backward, begging. “I don’t love her.”

  “You married her. Does that not count for anything?”

  “I did love her, but you experienced her. She is not the person I thought she was,” he confesses.

  “Well, you guys make the perfect pair, then, because you aren’t the person I thought you were, either.” I throw him a glare while trying to step around him, but he moves with me.

  “Please, don’t leave. I’ll send her away, and we can talk. Just don’t leave me. I need you.” He stops me, holding my shoulders so I can’t move.

  “What is there to talk about? Did you think you could make me fall for you, then tell me? Keep me on the sidelines for a week, maybe a year? How long were you going to string me along, huh?”

  “I don’t know.”

  I push him away. “You don’t know? What kind of answer is that, Aiden?”

  “I never expected to find someone like you. You were different.”

  There it is!

  “Different from what? The others?”

  “It’s not like that, and if you would give me ten minutes, I could explain,” he pleads.

  “What about the others, Aiden? Because there were others, weren’t there?” I pause, giving him a second to admit it. “Did you do everything with them that you have done with me? Did you tell them how different they were? Show them the real you? Do you even know who the real you is? Do you, Aiden? Because I’m beginning to think you have no clue.”

  “You’re right. I have no clue who Aiden Alexander is anymore, but I do know when I’m with you, I start to remember.”

  His words break me. A hurricane of emotions storms through me, destroying any last hope I had of this all being a nightmare.

  “Aiden, I can’t save you from your hell because thanks to you, I’m living in one, too.”

  Niki

  My decisions are my mistakes; it’s who I’ve become. They say that everything happens for a reason, that it makes us who we are today, but what does that mean for me? The weight of that truth swallows me whole.

  I’ve lost track of how long it’s been since I had my world flipped upside down. My days turn into nights and nights into days. Alone and ashamed, I wake up only to cry myself back to sleep, praying that one day, I’ll be able to accept who I’ve become.

  I can’t call Aubrey. I mean, how do I even begin to tell her that I’m just as bad as the woman her ex-husband had an affair with? It doesn’t matter that I didn’t know. I should have seen the signs. I should have been more aware.

  Gavin…I need you.

  The one person, who would know how to fix me, I pushed away.

  For him.

  I’ve let them all down, especially my sister, the reason I accepted the job to begin with. After finding out that Aiden is married, I called the bank and had them reverse the deposits. I didn’t want anything that reminded me of him…of the time he bought from me.

  Nina, told me it was fine, that her boyfriend would have eventually found out anyway, but something about that situation is unsettling. I just can’t seem to pinpoint what it is.

  I should get up, get dressed and grab the world by the balls. That is what the old Niki would have done, but this version of me is broken. A fraction of the woman I was before.

  I know I can’t stay holed up in my apartment forever. Trust me…I thought about it. But unfortunately, Amazon doesn’t have the same-day service here, so I’ll get by on the two-day shipping. Until I’m forced to leave and face my new reality.

  Deciding to stay awake for more than a couple hours, I flip on the gossip channel to see if anyone else is living the life of scandal. What’s the saying? Misery loves company?

  Turning on my favorite channel, I notice there is some kind of awards banquet on, and right now, they are showing the highlight reel of the best dressed.

  I’m not impressed; apparently the theme is fire and ice, so everything is in black, white, reds, blues and…is that? No, it can’t be.

  Aiden and Carmen.

  “Fuck you!” I sit up, flipping off the screen.

  “What’s going on? Someone trying to mix the trends again?” Gavin’s standing in the door, hands in pockets.

  “What are you doing here?” My voice is barely audible.

  “I was coming to make sure everything was running okay since you were supposed to be in…where was it? Dallas, or was it Austin?” Walking over, he stands at the end of the bed. “Care to tell me what’s going on?”

  “Gavin, I can’t.” Sobs overrun my ability to talk.

  “Kid…” I feel the bed dip, and before I know what’s happening, he’s in the middle of my bed, sitting up against the headboard, and I’m straddling him, enveloped in his embrace. “…talk to me.”

  “I’m a whore.” I grab his shirt, a fist on each side, pulling him to me, hiding my face, ashamed at my confession.

  He puts a hand on each of my cheeks and brings my face away so I can see him. “Niki, you are a lot of things, but whore is not one of them.”

  “Aiden is married!” I blurt.

  Gavin

  “He’s what?” Her outburst confuses me.

  “He’s married, Gavin. He’s fucking married!”

  The fucking asshole. Niki fights her demons daily; the last thing she needs is someone dragging her through hell.

  “Kid, you have to talk to me.” I pull her in tight as sobs rack her body.

  “Gavin, I promise I didn’t know. I had no idea, and when I found out, I left.” She searches my face, waiting for the judgment that won’t come.

  “When did this happen?” I try to figure out how long she has been back, hiding out from the world.

  Gauging by the greasy hair, it has to be around four to five days.

  “L.A.”

  “L.A., huh? Did you fly home by yourself?” I keep avoiding the question I want to ask.

  She nods.

  “Why didn’t you call me?”

  Shaking her head, she ignores my question, but the sadness that overtakes her face is unbearab
le.

  “I’m going to ask you again, and this time, I want you to answer. Why didn’t you call me?”

  “I didn’t want to be the burden that holds you back from happiness.”

  You’re my happiness.

  “Niki Marie Sanders, you not calling me is holding me back. Don’t you get that? From the moment we met, you have made me feel alive. Holding me back? Not a chance.”

  Climbing down off my lap, she paces the floor. Her mood has changed just like that. If I didn’t know better, I would think it’s her time of the month, but I’m not about to ask her that again. I made that mistake…once.

  “Gavin…you can’t say things like that to me anymore. You’re with Kara, and what we have is too much for a relationship to bear.”

  “I’m not with Kara. I mean I was, but…”

  “You said my name.” She turns to look at me. “Why did you say it? Why?”

  Now, it’s my turn to get up. I’ve been waiting a long time to tell her how I feel, and I’ll be damned if I go another day.

  “Before I met you Niki, I felt like I was broken, like I was half a person.” Taking her hand into mine. I place it over my heart. “Do you feel that? Do you? It beats only for you. From the moment you came along, you demanded a spot, right fucking here… you stole my heart, and I don’t want you to give it back.”

  “Gavin?” Her eyes fill with hope. “I don’t deserve you. Everything I have done…” She turns away.

  I want to press her. I want to dig until I know how she feels, but right now, she’s hurt. That son of a bitch betrayed and hurt her in a way I’m not sure will ever heal, but for now, I’m going to bandage her up.

  “Come here.” I wrap my arm around her neck, kissing the top of her head. “You deserve everything, and someday I want to be the man to give it to you; but right now, I’m here however you need me. You got that?”

  “Yeah. I got it.” She smiles. “Gav? Can you stay with me?”

  It pains me that she even feels like she has to ask. Before, it was a given.

  “Yeah, kid, I’ll stay with you, but first…you have to shower.”

  “That bad?” She raises her arm, making a face.

  “Holy shit! Did that come from there?” I nod to her arm backing away.

  “Gavin Shaw, don’t be an ass, or I might have to try my new right hook on you.” She fakes a punch.

  Grabbing her hand I notice a few cuts. “Looks like you have been testing it out already.”

  “Yeah, I knocked a bitch out!” She punches the air while heading to the bathroom.

  “Story for another day?” I yell after her.

  “Mmm.” She sticks her head out brushing her teeth.

  “I’ve got a feeling we are going to have a lot of cuddle couch sessions.” I plop down on the bed, getting comfy in my spot.

  Running out of the bathroom, she hops onto the bed, landing on me. “Gavin Shaw, don’t ever give up on me.” She locks her lips on mine with a kiss I wasn’t expecting but gladly take. “Deal?”

  “Deal!” I point to the bathroom. “But first you shower.”

  Niki

  “Kid! Time to get your ass up and kick it into gear!” Gavin comes barreling through the door, shouting. “You won’t believe who is going to be at the club tonight!”

  I sit on the couch, holding a tub of my favorite coffee ice cream, just watching him. I don’t have to say a word because this guy gets excited over everything.

  “Cash Knight, that’s who.”

  Blink.

  “I’m so in love with this ice cream.”

  “Nik, come on now. I know you know who Cash Knight is.”

  Blink.

  Lick spoon.

  “Okay, that’s it.” He comes over and takes the carton from me, but not before I can get another spoonful.

  “Ah-ha! I won!” I shove the bite into my mouth before he can tackle the spoon out of my hand.

  “You’re crazy. You know that?” He holds out his hand for me to surrender the spoon.

  “Fine.” I give it one last lick before I hand it over. “I guess that makes you crazy by association,” I tease.

  “Come on.” He’s practically begging now. “There are only a couple more weeks before school starts. You need to let loose, and tonight is the night. Cash Knight, that is.” He chuckles. “You caught that, right?”

  “I guess it was funny,” I say with a straight face.

  “Get up, Nik. Let’s go get our groove on. Maybe do a little bumpin’ and grindin’?” He thrusts his hips back and forth.

  “Calm your tits, Gav. I’ll go. Just stop doing all that.” I wave my hands in his direction.

  “Perfect! Be ready in an hour.” He plops his butt down on the spot I was just in.

  Heading down the hall, I turn around and look at him. “Hey, Gavin!”

  “What, kid?”

  “CASH FREAKIN’KNIGHT is going to be at the club!” I scream, suddenly realizing, running back down the hall. I hop over the coffee table and tackle him on the couch, once again causing it to flip over.

  “I knew it!” He points at me.

  “He’s soooo hot; and holy hell, can he make me hum in all the right places.” I climb over the top of the couch and help pick it up.

  “Hey now, there will be no humming in any of those places unless it’s caused by me.” He winks, and my body reacts.

  It’s been a few weeks since he confessed his feelings, but I have yet to tell him exactly how I feel.

  Tonight.

  Gavin

  “Hey guys! Good thing you got here when you did. The VIP area is filling up fast,” Chloe greets us as we walk in.

  “Perfect. That’s what we want.” I guide Niki through the crowd in the direction of the bar, where I see Cindy and Kara working.

  “Want a drink?” I pull Niki into me, whispering in her ear.

  “I want a drink. The question is do you want a drink?” She winks, continuing to the bar and getting us a spot.

  “Again, margaritas have tequila in them.” I pick her up and set her in a now-vacant bar chair.

  “Still a pussy.” She looks up at me, licking her bottom lip.

  Bending down, I push her hair to the side, whispering with a gentle blow, “You’re killin’ me, kid.”

  “Good.”

  “Hey, Niki…Gav.” Cindy comes up, greeting us. “What can I get you two?”

  “Two margaritas and a shot of tequila.” Niki says leaning over the bar, hollering, “Make sure you put extra salt on the rim for pretty boy here.” She shoves her thumb in my direction.

  “Hey, Nik.” Jake walks up behind Niki, massaging her shoulders “Good to see you again.”

  “You too.” She smiles. “That feels good.”

  “Hands off my girl.” I growl.

  “Whoa, Shaw!” He holds his hands up in surrender. “I didn’t know it was official.”

  “Working on it bro.” I flash Niki my panty dropping smile.

  “Hey, Grady James and his lady are up in the VIP area tonight. He was asking if you were around.” Jake continues. “Apparently, he’s pretty tight with Cash.”

  “I think I read that somewhere this summer.”

  “Here you guys go.” Cindy slides the drinks down the bar. “I switched your tab to VIP Lounge. Enjoy.”

  “Gav?” Niki tugs on the hem of my shirt.

  “What’s up?”

  “I think you should go talk to Kara. She looks upset.”

  I have no desire to talk to Kara. Truth be told, after I heard she called Nik, I began to question anything good about her. Who does that?

  “It’s nice that you want me to do that, but here is not the time and place.” I bend down, my lips hovering over hers until she gives me what I want.

  Her lips parting, she leans in so close our lips brush, “You know…you can kiss me whenever you want.” Her lips play with mine.

  “That’s all I needed.” I pull her bottom lip in between mine, giving it a little tug.


  “Mmm…another.”

  “Shot or kiss?” I tease.

  “Shot!” she yells, causing the bar to stir. “Kiss.” She breathes the words across my lips, inviting them for round two. “I think we need to dance.” She downs her shot and chases it with the margarita.

  “Hey, we didn’t toast or lick, shake, suck.”

  “Do what you got to do, but I want you on that dance floor now,” she purrs.

  “Let’s go.” I grab her by the hand, and we head down to the dance floor. I slip Jake a fifty to put the spotlight on us for a song.

  A few drinks and a couple songs later. Niki is in front of me, swaying her hips to the beat of the deep bass. I stay behind her, and as we find our rhythm, I can’t help but reach around, dragging the hem of her dress up enough to feel her skin while pushing myself against her. I know she can feel what she is doing to me, how turned on I am.

  Raising her hands in the air, she wraps them around my neck, inviting me for a taste, just for a moment. Everything is amazing, and the promise of what is to come lingers in the background. This is going to happen.

  “Hey!” Nicki screeches as she’s pulled away from me.

  Aiden.

  “Get your fucking hands off her.”

  “Niki, I just need to talk to you. Just give me a few minutes,” he pleads his case, but I’ll be damned if I let her go. I’m not going to lose her again. Not to him. Fuck, not to anyone. She’s mine.

  “Aiden, I have nothing to say to you. Go back to your wife,” she spits out.

  “Niki, please. Just a few minutes. Alone.” He looks over her shoulder at me, daring me to stop her.

  I can see her waver. Turning in my arms, she places her hand on my heart. Calming me. “Just give me a few minutes. I promise, I’ll be back.”

  “Niki, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” I hold her hand in place. “Stay with me…please.”

  “Niki, now,” Aiden barks.

  “Don’t fucking tell her what to do!” I lunge forward, ready to knock his ass out.

  “Gav, calm down. I’ll be back.” She reaches up, giving me a peck on the cheek.

  “If you go, I may not be here when you get back.” Jealousy is making me a dick.

  “Are you serious right now?” She fights back.

  “Dead.” I can’t help but dig a deeper hole.

  And before I know what’s happening, Aiden has her by the hand, taking her outside, and I’m left alone on the dance floor. Spotlight on me.