Conflict of Interest

by Jae

  "Are there any witnesses, or is Ms. Kinsley the one who called us?" Aiden asked. She looked back to the couch to make sure Dawn was still okay on her own.

  "A neighbor called it in," the officer answered. "He saw her lean out of the open window and thought she was suicidal at first. Turns out she wanted to retrieve her cell phone. The perp threw it out the window. It's dangling from the fire escape."

  Aiden's brow furrowed. Breaking into the apartment, ripping out the phone line, throwing away the only other means to call for help... that sounded like a planned attack, but the destruction in the bedroom didn't speak of a controlled offender. Time to think about that later. Dawn's the top priority right now. "Secure the premises without destroying possible evidence and take the neighbor's statement," she ordered. "I'm taking her to the hospital."

  She crossed the room toward Dawn, making some noise as she approached her to avoid startling the frightened woman. "Are you ready?"

  Dawn struggled to her feet without answering.

  * * *

  Aiden sat next to Dawn in a small, curtained cubicle in the Portland General Hospital emergency room, which was busy even at five a.m. The emergency personnel hadn't tried to make them wait in the corridor when they saw the gold shield clipped to Aiden's belt and the grim expression on her face.

  "I guess I was really lucky that you were on call tonight," Dawn said after the nurse had left in search of a doctor. As a rape counselor, she knew that many victims without life-threatening injuries had to wait for their treatment and were often questioned about the rape in the middle of the corridor while nurses and doctors rushed injured patients past them and worried family members paced nearby.

  Aiden tilted her head in a vague nod. She didn't want to discuss the reason why she had caught this case, preferring for the moment to let Dawn believe she had been on call tonight and was here for strictly professional reasons.

  "So... I know it's hard to talk about but..." She found herself uncharacteristically reluctant to question Dawn about something that would be painful for her. "I have to ask you some specific questions about the attack so the doctor will know what kind of evidence he's to look for. Let's start with the easy part. I know you didn't shower, brush your teeth, or change your clothes after the attack, right?"

  Dawn nodded.

  "Did he penetrate you?" Aiden asked quietly.

  Another nod. "Vaginally, nothing else, but he kept trying to kiss me. I don't think he wore a condom," Dawn answered, already anticipating Aiden's next question.

  Aiden's stomach twisted as she heard the clinical response to her question, once again reminded of the fact that Dawn Kinsley normally dealt with rape in a professional capacity, as Aiden did. It seemed as if Dawn was trying to get through this by acting as if she were talking about one of her patients and not about herself.

  The nurse returned to their curtained-off cubicle. She handed Dawn a blue hospital gown. "Please stand on this sheet of paper," she pointed to the floor of the cubicle, "while you undress. Put your clothes in the paper bag on the table."

  Dawn sighed. "I know the routine," she said, still looking at Aiden. She seemed almost afraid to let Aiden out of her sight.

  "I'll be right here, outside the curtain, waiting for you, okay?" Aiden stepped back but kept eye contact.

  Dawn exhaled and closed the curtain behind her.

  Aiden turned her back to the cubicle and bobbed up and down on the balls of her feet in an effort not to pace back and forth. She heard the rustling of paper and then, just for a second, quiet sobs. Helplessly, she pressed her lips together.

  After a minute, Dawn reappeared, looking even more fragile in the blue paper gown than she had before.

  Aiden gazed down into stormy gray eyes. "You okay?"

  Dawn nodded.

  The nurse guided Dawn to the examination table.

  Silently, Aiden took up position beside her.

  A doctor with a clipboard came in and started asking questions while the nurse took photographs of the bruises on Dawn's face and body. "When did you have your last period, Ms. Kinsley?" he asked matter-of-factly.

  "Uh... I'm not sure... maybe two weeks ago. It could be three. I'm really not sure." Dawn shrugged helplessly.

  The doctor raised his brows but didn't comment when he saw Aiden's warning stare. "Have you had recent sexual intercourse?" he asked.

  Dawn laughed bitterly. "That's why I'm here, isn't it?"

  Aiden touched her hand with a single finger. "He means voluntary sexual intercourse."

  "No." Dawn bit her lip. "No, I haven't."

  The doctor scribbled some notes on his clipboard. "What form of birth control do you normally use?"

  Once again, the camera flashed, and Dawn closed her eyes. "I don't use any," she answered.

  Aiden took Dawn's hand in hers and squeezed it soothingly when she heard Dawn's defensive tone of voice. It seemed as if the matter-of-fact question had come across as if the doctor had accused Dawn of not properly "preparing" for the eventuality of a rape. Aiden knew that some rape victims read accusations into the doctor's questions because they couldn't help wondering whether they could have done anything to prevent the rape. Aiden knew that many rape victims blamed themselves for aspects of their rape, feeling as if they hadn't been careful enough, hadn't paid enough attention to their surroundings, hadn't fought back hard enough, and hadn't found the right words to stop the rapist. It seemed that Dawn Kinsley, professional background aside, wasn't so different from other rape survivors.

  The doctor put the clipboard away and opened the rape kit.

  "We need two oral swabs for a DNA sample," Aiden explained, holding out the swabs to Dawn. "Do you want to do it yourself?" Aiden knew that many victims experienced the rape kit examination almost like a second violation. Once again, they didn't have control over their body. It still didn't belong to them but was a crime scene, a piece of evidence. Being intimately examined by a total stranger while telling him details that you would much rather forget was humiliating. Therefore, Aiden tried to give victims as much control over the examination as she possibly could.

  Dawn took the swabs without a word and rubbed them across the inside of her mouth. She handed them back to Aiden, who sealed them into an envelope.

  The doctor took Dawn's hand, and she flinched. Aiden stepped closer to her, both for comfort and to hold a sheet of paper under her hand while the doctor scraped underneath Dawn's fingernails and then cut them. Her gaze still on Dawn, Aiden put the clippings and scrapings into another envelope and sealed it.

  "Okay. Could you lie back and spread your legs a little, please?" The doctor placed a towel under Dawn's buttocks and combed through her pubic hair, searching for foreign hairs. "It will hurt for a second – I need to pull some of your pubic hair as a control sample," he explained.

  Soon, another envelope was sealed and labeled.

  The physician took two more swabs and stepped between Dawn's bent legs. Dawn jerked.

  Aiden enclosed Dawn's trembling fingers gently in both of her larger hands. She kept her gaze on Dawn's face, not looking down to watch what the doctor did.

  Dawn squeezed her eyes shut and moaned. "I can't believe this is happening to me," she whispered. She was used to being the one to help rape victims, not a victim herself.

  "Just a little longer," Aiden murmured, "it's almost over." With relief, she watched the doctor step back and make a smear on a glass slide.

  The doctor turned off the light. "I need you to open the gown a little bit, please."

  Unsteady fingers wrestled with the laces that held the gown closed.

  "Need help?" Aiden asked. She didn't move until Dawn nodded. Gently, she untied the laces and stepped back. She didn't look down at the half-naked body but gazed into Dawn's upset gray eyes. Her thumb rubbed circles over the back of Dawn's hand.

  The doctor turned on the UV light and moved it above Dawn's abdomen and thighs, showing bright blue fluorescent spots.

  Dawn looked
down at her bruised body. "Is that...?"

  "Seminal fluid," the physician confirmed and rubbed over some of the stains with a cotton pad.

  Dawn groaned in disgust.

  The doctor turned the light back on and waited for Aiden to help Dawn close her hospital gown. "Are you allergic to anything?" he asked.

  Dawn shook her head.

  He handed Dawn two white pills and a small plastic cup of water. "That's Plan B, an emergency contraceptive pill. You have to take them in two doses – one pill now and one more in twelve hours. You might have some nausea or dizziness after taking them. If you want, I can prescribe you some Dramamine to help with that."

  Dawn took the first pill and swallowed it without comment.

  "The nurse will be in shortly," the doctor continued. "She'll give you antibiotics to prevent sexually transmitted diseases and get blood drawn from you to test for STDs and HIV. The test results will be back within twenty-four hours. You should be retested in three and six months just to make sure that everything is all right."

  Dawn seemed overwhelmed with the far-reaching consequences of the rape, but she nodded bravely.

  "The nurse will also take you to get your hand x-rayed," the doctor said, pointing at the nurse who had been taking the photos during the examination.

  Aiden immediately let go of Dawn's hand. "Her hand is broken?"

  Dawn looked down at her left, then at the right hand as if she hadn't noticed anything wrong with them either.

  "Her right index finger might be broken. It's hard to tell with all the swelling, so I'd like to do an x-ray," the doctor answered.

  The nurse helped Dawn into a wheelchair – standard hospital procedure – and took her to the x-ray department, leaving Aiden alone with the ER doctor. "What does the evidence tell you?" Aiden asked when Dawn was out of earshot.

  The doctor locked the envelopes in the rape kit box, sealed it, and handed it to Aiden. "Bruise marks on her arms and thighs, which might be consistent with restraint, and about the pelvic and pubic area. Teeth marks on her breasts. Evidence of penetration and seminal fluids."

  Classic signs of rape, Aiden translated. She left the rape kit with one of the uniformed officers, with strict orders to take it directly to the medical examiner, and went searching for radiology.

  CHAPTER 4

  "MORNING, AIDEN," Ray Bennet said as he entered the squad room on the twelfth floor of Portland's Justice Center.

  At her partner's greeting, Aiden looked up from the selection of tea bags. "Morning, Ray. Sorry for calling you in on your day off. I hope you're not in the doghouse with Susan for working on weekends?"

  "No, that's okay. She wanted to take the girls shopping anyway. Now, tell me why I had to miss four whining kids begging me for 150-dollar shoes or a navel piercing." Ray stepped beside Aiden and poured himself a cup of coffee. "Why did you catch a case when we weren't on call last night?"

  "I heard it on the police scanner when I came home," Aiden said.

  Ray lifted a brow. "And because you didn't have anything more important to do... like sleep after three 20-hour shifts... you thought you'd help out our brothers in uniform or what? Did they start a bonus program for catching two rapists in one night?"

  Aiden didn't laugh. "Ray, it was Dawn."

  "Dawn?" Ray looked at her, clearly not understanding about whom she was talking.

  For the first time, Aiden noticed that she had thought about the psychologist as "Dawn" and not "Ms. Kinsley" since she had found her on the couch three hours ago. Three hours, Aiden thought as she stirred sugar into the tea. An eternity. "Dawn Kinsley – the rape counselor who held the first lecture at the seminar last week," she explained.

  "The vic's one of her patients?" Ray asked.

  Aiden pressed her lips together. "She's the victim. Someone broke into her apartment last night and raped her."

  "Oh. I'm sorry." She was sure he didn't know why, but Ray sensed that this was one of those cases that affected her on more than a professional level. "Did you call Okada and Ruben? I'm sure Ruben wouldn't mind coming in on a Saturday morning for the woman who proved one of Okada's conspiracy theories wrong."

  "They were here, finishing the paperwork on Barclay, when I came in. I told them we'd meet them at Dawn's apartment... the crime scene... once we'd gotten a formal statement," Aiden said as she headed toward one of the interview rooms with Ray in tow.

  Dawn Kinsley still sat where Aiden had left her five minutes ago – on the edge of the chair, her hands, with one splinted finger, in her lap.

  Ray kept a respectful distance. "Hello, Ms. Kinsley. I'm Detective Raymond Bennet."

  "Hello, Detective." Dawn spared Ray a quick glance, and then her eyes immediately searched for Aiden. She relaxed when she saw her entering the room behind her partner.

  Aiden stepped forward and set the cup of tea in front of Dawn. "Tea, not coffee," she explained with a small smile. "I hope you like it with a little sugar."

  Dawn nodded, wrapping her uninjured hand around the mug. She inhaled the comforting scent of peppermint but didn't drink. She just held on to the mug as if it were a lifeline.

  Aiden perched onto the corner of the table and studied Dawn. She looked as exhausted as Aiden felt. "We don't have to do this right now. There'd still be time to take your formal statement after you've slept for a few hours," she offered.

  "No, that's okay." Dawn bravely shook her head. "I doubt that I'd be able to sleep, anyway."

  Aiden traded a look with her partner before she sat down. She scooted her chair a little closer to Dawn while Ray chose a chair at the end of the table. "I know we've been through some of this before, but I need you to tell me what happened from the beginning," Aiden said.

  "Okay. I had just fallen asleep – I think it was around three o'clock – when a noise from somewhere in the apartment woke me. I went to investigate, thinking maybe the cat had knocked something over."

  Aiden nodded encouragingly but didn't interrupt to ask more questions while Ray, sensing that the victim was more at ease with Aiden than with him, kept silent and took notes.

  "There was a man in my living room," Dawn said, her voice breathless and alarmed as if she was reliving the scary moment. "I opened my mouth to scream, but he pressed me against the wall with his forearm across my throat. He held a gun to my head and told me he'd kill me if I called for help or tried to escape." Dawn shivered violently.

  "It's okay; you're here now, safe," Aiden said, taking her back to the present. She waited a few moments. "What happened next?"

  "He dragged me back into the bedroom. On the way, he ripped the phone cord from the wall and threw my cell phone out of the window. Then he... he pushed me down onto the bed." Dawn bit her lip. "He was a really tall man; he outweighed me, and he had a weapon – I knew I stood no chance to fight him off."

  Aiden swallowed hard. Just a week ago, she had told Dawn how dangerous it could be to pick a fight with someone who outweighed you and might be armed. Had she robbed Dawn of a chance to get away unharmed by telling her that trying to fight was dumb? With suddenly trembling hands, she lifted her paper cup and tried to wash down the ball of emotions in her throat with a mouthful of lukewarm coffee.

  "I knew I couldn't hurt him badly enough to stop him. Maybe I should have tried... if I..." Dawn stopped herself and rubbed tired eyes. "I can't count how often I told a patient not to blame herself for any aspect of her rape, and now I..." She stopped and sighed. "Anyway, I decided struggling was useless and tried to talk my way out of the situation. After all, that's what I do for a living – talk," Dawn continued, smiling bitterly. "I told him he didn't need to do this, because he was handsome, and there should be a lot of women willing to go out with him... to sleep with him without using violence. I offered him money. I said everything I could think of. I even told him I had a contagious disease." Dawn looked away from Aiden and stared down at the table. "His answer was to unzip his pants, force my legs apart, and rape me."

  For a second, every
thing was quiet in the room, even Ray's pen ceased to scratch over the notepad.

  "He held me down with one hand while the other kept pressing the gun against my temple." Dawn tapped her unsplinted index finger against the side of her head. Aiden could hear her teeth grinding. "I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to turn my head so he couldn't kiss me, but he slapped me every time I looked away or closed my eyes – he wanted me to see who was doing this to me. I think that's the reason why he didn't wear a mask. After a while, I had the feeling of leaving my body as if I looked down at a stranger being raped... I dissociated."

  It was a strange experience for Aiden to sit across from a victim who used the jargon of a sex crimes expert. Aiden wanted to comfort Dawn, but she didn't dare to use the soothing words that worked with almost every victim, knowing Dawn herself had said them hundreds of times to her patients. This time, she was the victim, and Aiden couldn't think of anything to say.