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Business Affairs

Page 15

by Shirley Rogers


  His outrage had been exactly as she had anticipated. Alex had never known love from his parents, not the kind of unconditional love a child could only receive from a mother and father who cherished him. Keeping everyone who wanted to be close to him at arm’s length was the only way he could protect himself. And like everyone else in his life, she had let him down. No, let him down didn’t come close to what she’d done. She’d hurt him in the worst possible way.

  Jennifer prayed that Alex would think about the baby she was carrying. He didn’t want her, but he needed the love of his child.

  And maybe, just maybe, their baby could heal his heart.

  Alex stormed into his office and slammed the door, not caring what his staff thought about his demeanor. They’d do well to steer clear of him for a while. Still reeling from the shock of Jennifer’s admission, he practically threw himself into his desk chair. Swiveling around, he gazed absently out the window, determined to make some sense of her betrayal.

  She was having his baby.

  His baby.

  He couldn’t believe it. She’d been lying to him all along.

  In Vermont when he’d made love to her, she hadn’t really wanted to be with him. She’d wanted a baby. He’d been a stand-in—for anyone. And that’s what hurt the worst.

  A few days ago when she’d been ill, she hadn’t had the flu at all. She’d had morning sickness. Damn her! She’d destroyed any chance that they could have had together.

  He went to the bar and poured himself a shot of bourbon. Tossing the amber liquid back, he felt the bite of the liquor as it slid down his throat. Intending to get good and drunk, he poured himself another shot. But instead of drinking it, he shoved it away and began to pace.

  She’d said she loved him, but how could he believe her after what she’d done?

  Her lies had rolled off her tongue guilefully because she’d had an ulterior motive—to have a baby.

  Your baby.

  Alex came to a halt, the full impact of her words slamming him hard. Jennifer hadn’t wanted a baby from a stranger. She’d made love with him because she’d wanted his baby.

  Okay, so what if she did care enough about him to want his baby? It didn’t change anything. He still couldn’t trust her. She’d lied to him. Not once, but every time he’d made love to her.

  She knew she was pregnant the last time you made love to her.

  Yeah, she did. And that’s what confused him. Why would she have made love with him if she already had a baby growing inside her?

  Because she loves you.

  Alex dropped back into his chair.

  She loved him.

  His mind cleared and he began to see the truth. Jennifer might not have been honest from the beginning, but he hadn’t, either. Only interested in an affair, he’d never intended to have a lasting relationship with her.

  He got up and began pacing again. Fighting his attraction to Jennifer for years, he’d never intended to act on it. But when he’d kissed her at the bachelor auction, he hadn’t been able to forget the way she tasted. She was right. He remembered the night of the auction. She’d insisted more than once that they shouldn’t go away together. He’d pushed her into honoring their date because he’d wanted her.

  While they were in Vermont, he’d taken every opportunity to kiss her and to touch her. He had made love to her knowing that he wasn’t interested in anything permanent. Thinking back to the night they’d first made love, he remembered a brief moment when he’d felt her hesitancy. He’d suspected she was having second thoughts about making love with him. Was that when she’d tried to tell him the truth—that she wasn’t using birth control? As much as Alex wanted to deny it, he couldn’t. He’d wanted her so he’d seduced her. And because of that night, Jennifer was pregnant with his child.

  The enormity of the situation hit him. He was wrong to blame Jennifer because he was just as guilty. If he hadn’t pressured her that night, she wouldn’t be pregnant with his child.

  Something in his heart shifted. He wanted their baby. More importantly, he wanted Jennifer. Forever.

  He loved her with all of his heart. But had he destroyed any chance of her love for him with his accusations? Hoping she’d forgive him for hurting her, Alex rushed out of his office to see Jennifer and to beg her to give him another chance.

  But first, he had a stop to make.

  Alex arrived at Jennifer’s. His mouth thinned into a straight line as his gaze landed on the sedan parked in her driveway. As he approached her door, her brother, Tony, came out.

  At Alex’s approach, Tony blocked his path. “What do you want?”

  “I came to see Jennifer.” He noticed the black bag in his hand. “What’s wrong?”

  Tony’s expression was fixed with concern. “Nothing. I stopped by to check on her.”

  Alex wasn’t convinced. He’d left her when she’d needed him the most. “Please tell me she’s all right.” Please let her be all right.

  “She’s fine, no thanks to you,” Tony told him.

  His scalding tone alerted Alex to the real reason behind Tony’s concern. Alex’s jaw muscle flinched. Fine, if he wanted to make a go of it, he was more than ready. The two of them were about the same size. “I came here to talk to your sister. If possible, to make things right between us.”

  “And how do you intend to do that?” he asked, his expression doubtful. “From what she’s told me, you pretty much made it clear how you felt about her.”

  Aware Tony could be a formidable enemy, Alex decided he’d rather have Jennifer’s brother on his side. “I love her. Not that it’s any of your business,” he added with a challenging edge, “but I’m going to ask her to marry me.”

  Respect flickered in Tony’s eyes. “And if she says no?” he inquired, his gaze direct.

  “Then I’m going to have to haul her to the altar kicking and fighting,” Alex replied. “Because I don’t intend to take no for an answer.”

  Tony stepped aside. “You’d better get at it, then. She’s packing.”

  “She’s leaving?”

  As if knowing he’d hit a nerve, Tony grinned. “If you know anything about Jennifer, you know she’s tougher than that.”

  Alex did know how tough she was. Believing she’d destroyed any chance of a relationship between them, she’d stood up to him and admitted she was carrying his child. “Why is she packing?”

  “She still isn’t feeling well. I don’t think she should be alone. She’s planning on staying with our parents a few days. Unless you can change her mind.” He patted Alex on the shoulder. “If you screw this up, you’ll regret it.” With a nod, he walked toward his car.

  Amused, Alex watched Tony walk away, aware he’d been invited into the family and warned in the same sentence.

  A family. Alex wanted that. And Tony didn’t have to worry. He wasn’t going to mess this up. This time, he had everything to gain.

  When her doorbell rang again, Jennifer opened it and found Alex standing on her porch. From the bleak expression on his face, she wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved or worried. Had he come to make demands on her concerning their child? God, what would she do if he wanted to take her baby from her?

  Without speaking, she edged the door closed a bit.

  “Hi.” Alex gave her a cautious look.

  “Hi.” She searched his gaze. The animosity in his eyes had disappeared, but she couldn’t read anything from his expression. “Do you want to come in?” she asked, her eyes watchful.

  “Am I welcome?”

  His unsure words brought a fragile smile to her face. “Always.” As the father of her baby, he would eternally be welcome in her home.

  Alex walked inside. He waited for her to close the door, then took her hand. “I’d like to talk to you, if you’ll let me.”

  On shaky legs, Jennifer led him into the kitchen. She couldn’t bear to go into the same room where they’d quarreled, where she’d admitted that she’d deceived him. “Can I get you something to drink?
” she asked, her voice wavering.

  “No. Thank you.” He pulled a chair out from the table.

  She stared at him, her eyes questioning why he was here.

  “Please sit down.”

  Her heart hammering, she complied. She knew a moment of relief when she saw remorse in his beautiful blue eyes.

  Alex pulled out a chair and sat. “Jennifer, I told you before I’m no good at relationships. Hell, I’ve never even been in one that lasted longer than a few months.”

  He didn’t want her. How could he after what she’d done? A fist squeezed her heart as she braced herself for what he was about to say. “I know, Alex. I’ve always known how you felt about commitment. I didn’t do this to trap you.”

  “The word ‘commitment’ terrifies me,” he admitted. “I don’t even know that I have what it takes to be a father.”

  Wide-eyed, she stared at him with disbelief. “You don’t want the baby.” Crushed, she held back a sob with a hand to her lips.

  “No. No, that’s not what I’m saying,” he said quickly to alleviate the fear growing in her eyes. His gaze gentled. “I’m scared to death of being a father. My parents were poor examples of what it took to make a marriage work. I just want you to know that I may not be the best father in the world, but I’m willing to try.”

  At least he wanted the baby. Relieved, a sigh escaped her lips. “I think you’ll be a wonderful father.”

  That surprised Alex. His lips curved into a slight smile. “Really?”

  “You were so sweet when you took care of me. And you’re gentle and caring.”

  “I haven’t been very caring today,” he admitted. “I’ll work hard at getting better at it. That’s a promise that I intend to keep.”

  “What?” Stunned, her gaze searched his.

  “Earlier, you asked me to forgive you, but it’s your forgiveness that I need.”

  She slowly shook her head. “I don’t think I understand.”

  “After I left here, I did a lot of thinking. Finding out you were carrying my baby really threw me. I wasn’t thinking rationally. When I began to calm down, I realized I had no right to be angry with you.”

  “Oh, yes, Alex, you do.” Her throat constricted even more. “I shouldn’t have deceived you when we made love in Vermont.”

  Alex touched her hand, caressed it with his thumb. “Let me ask you something. You said when we were making love you had second thoughts. Did you?”

  “Not about sleeping with you. But I knew I couldn’t use you to father a child. I knew I had to tell you the truth.” She touched his face, then withdrew her hand. “I started to, but then—”

  “I kissed you,” he finished for her. “I knew you were pulling away from me. I wanted you so much. I felt your hesitation, but I didn’t give you a chance to back out. I’m as guilty as you are.” He paused, his gaze searching hers for an understanding he didn’t deserve. “Jennifer, since we’re being truthful, you need to know that I made love with you without any intention of ever having a relationship with you.”

  Jennifer considered that. “I think I knew that you didn’t love me, but I’d been in love with you for so long, I didn’t care. That doesn’t excuse what I did.”

  His heart warmed at her admission. “All of the years we worked together, I kept my hands off of you because I knew once I made love to you, it wouldn’t be easy to walk away from you. And I didn’t want to hurt you. I was scared to death of commitment. I didn’t have anything to offer you. Not touching you was the only way I could keep my feelings for you under control.”

  She blinked back tears. “I asked you to agree to a brief affair because I didn’t want to pressure you. I thought I could be happy having you for an intimate weekend, then I’d be able to go back to our business relationship. When we came back, I realized I couldn’t. I still wanted you.”

  “You had me fooled,” he admitted. “You acted as if you didn’t care for me, as if making love with me meant nothing to you.”

  She smiled. “Because that was our agreement. Then I realized I couldn’t work with you and not have you. So I gave you my resignation.”

  “When I read it, I couldn’t believe you could just walk away from me.”

  “I didn’t want you to know about the baby. I didn’t want you to feel obligated to me.”

  “I don’t, sweetheart. I love you.” At her hesitant expression he continued, “I do. I love you with all my heart. I love that you’re carrying our baby.”

  “Really?” she asked on a breathless whisper.

  “And I brought you an early birthday present.”

  That brought a smile to her lips. “You did?”

  Alex slipped out of his chair and dropped to one knee. He reached into his pocket and withdrew a small, black box. Lifting the lid, he showed its contents to her. “You’re the woman who has taught me to find strength in families. I’ve accepted my past and I’m ready to face the future with a family of my own. Without you, my life would be empty. I need you, Jennifer. I love you. Will you marry me?”

  Jennifer’s gaze took in the sparkling diamond as Alex withdrew it and held it out to her. She couldn’t believe it. He was asking her to marry him. “Oh, Alex, are you sure you want to do this?”

  “I’m sure. I love you. I want to love you for the rest of my life. I want to have this baby and even a houseful of children with you. A family.”

  A tear fell down her cheek. “Oh, Alex, I love you so much.”

  Her words made his heart swell. “Then say yes, sweetheart. Give me a lifetime to show you how much I love you.”

  She held out her hand. “Yes. Yes. A thousand times, yes!” Her spine tingled with pleasure as he slipped the ring on her finger.

  Alex stood and drew her into his arms, settling her against him. He kissed her, letting his lips linger against hers, then stepped back. “Happy birthday, sweetheart. I love you.”

  “And I love you.” She breathed a sigh of pleasure as she kissed him again. “I never meant to deceive you. Really, I didn’t.”

  “I know.” He believed her because he knew her heart. She was loving and caring, and she’d been willing to give up her career because of him. He felt a pang of guilt. She’d told him once that her career meant a lot to her. He didn’t want her to think that because she was carrying their baby, she’d have to give up everything she’d worked for when it was born. “I know how much your job means to you. I’ll be with you now to help you. Somehow we’ll work it out.”

  “Oh, Alex.” She grinned. “That’s another area we need to get straightened out.”

  “What do you mean?” he asked, enclosing her in his arms.

  She touched his lips with her finger, her gaze sliding up to his face. “I know I said my career was important, but I said it because I needed an excuse to keep you at arm’s length when we came home from Vermont. I knew if you touched me, I wouldn’t be able to trust myself not to get involved with you.”

  He laughed. “You’re lucky you did. Because all I could think about was making love to you. I wanted you any way I could have you. I would have promised you anything.”

  She smiled into his eyes. “Then promise me that you’ll accept my resignation.”

  “You really don’t want to continue working?”

  “I’m not saying that I won’t want to work later, but I want to enjoy raising our child. Is that all right with you? I mean, you’ll have to hire someone to take my place.”

  “No one could ever take your place,” he whispered, then tightened his arms around her. “I can live without you at work as long as I have you to come home to.”

  “And you will,” she whispered. She touched her mouth to his, then leaned away. “Always and forever.”

  He dipped his head and took her mouth in a lingering kiss, and Jennifer’s heart felt as if it would burst.

  With Alex’s love, she had more than she’d ever believed possible. And she would have her own baby to love and adore—a family she’d always dreamed of. Wherea
s before she’d looked at turning thirty with dismay, she now had a reason to cherish each and every birthday in the future.

  Considering how Alex had surprised her this year, she couldn’t wait to see what he had in store for her when she turned thirty-one!

  ISBN: 978-1-4268-7686-8

  BUSINESS AFFAIRS

  Copyright © 2005 by Shirley Rogerson, INC.

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Silhouette Books, 233 Broadway, New York, NY 10279 U.S.A.

  All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.

  This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.

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