“Raven” I murmur, still not believing that she’s before me but suddenly she’s wrenching herself away.
She steps around me, and I see her eyes widen when she sees Jade, “Excuse me” she mutters as she hurriedly starts to make her way outside.
“Nik?” Jade asks with a raised eyebrow as she looks over her shoulder at Raven, I’m standing frozen as I see the woman I was thinking about just minutes before walking away from me and with a kid that looked very much like me.
“What are you both doing out here?” Alexey calls as he walks towards us, I was so enthralled that I didn’t even see Alexey approach, Andrei right behind him. Before he can say anything else I step around Jade and hurry after Raven. I hear Alexey say something, but I don’t pay attention as the only thing on my mind now is to talk to Raven.
I see her bending over as she places the kid in a car seat, looking over at the car I frown. This car is a piece of shit, she shouldn’t be driving around in something that looks like it will breakdown at any moment.
“Raven” her head snaps around as she looks at me.
“I don’t want to talk to you.” she mumbles as she looks back at what she was doing.
“Well you going to have to talk to me.” In one hand I’m hoping that I’m wrong, because if this kid is mine all my efforts were for nothing. There is no way I can let her go again, especially if she has had my child. In another hand I can’t think that she would have had a child with someone else, the thought makes me see red.
“Isn’t your wife going to find it strange you came after me?” she snaps as she closes the car door and moves towards the driver’s door, before she can slip into the car I take her arm and swing her around to look at me.
“She’s not my wife, I’m her bodyguard and she’s with her husband at the moment.” I see her beautiful eyes widen before her cheeks fill with colour.
“Anyway, it doesn’t matter,” she tries to pull her arm away but I’m not going to let her get away from me without knowing where she’s living and knowing if I have a son. “Let go of me.” She mutters.
“Not until we talk.”
“It’s a bit late for that, don’t you think?” she argues, as she glares up at me. An overwhelming feeling of longing overtakes me, and I don’t think before I’m lowering my head and taking her lips in a possessive kiss that leaves us both breathless. She first tries to pull away, but soon is kissing me back with a passion that brings back sweet memories.
When I finally lift my head, I see that she looks dazed, she blinks as she gazes up at me. “Why did you do that?” she whispers, I notice her body tensing as she comes down from our kiss.
“For three years that I’ve wanted to do that.” I confess
“Oh really, is that why you left and never came back?” she asks with a raised eyebrow, her sassiness making me want to kiss her all over again.
“There were things that you didn’t know, don’t know, things that I was trying to protect you from.” I reveal
“Well, it’s a bit late now Nik.” She says angrily as she tries to pull away again, “You just left, we should have talked about this then. What do you want now anyway?”
“Is he mine?” my heart is racing as I wait for her answer, I can see the kid in the back seat through the window as he plays with his seat belt. I feel her whole-body tensing at my question and I know that she doesn’t want to talk about this.
“Let me go Nikolai?” I know she’s angry when she reverts to my full name.
“I have a right to know Raven.” I snap
“You have no rights, you gave up that right when you left. All you said before you were gone was ‘I can’t be with you anymore’ after everything that’s all you said to me.”
“You would have been in danger if I stayed,” I grunt
“So, what has changed, if you hadn’t seen me today you would never have come looking for me.” I see a sheen of tears brightening her eyes. My heart tightens knowing that I hurt her, but there was no other way.
“You’re my weakness, in my kind of life weaknesses get you killed.” I roar, frustrated with this situation. My outburst must have frightened the kid because he starts to cry. “Fuck” I grunt as I let go of Raven’s arm so that she can appease him.
“It’s okay Luke, we just talking baby.” The kid quietens as Raven stretches out to the floor in the back and pulls up a fluffy dog, that she hands to him. She stands and turns looking up at me, “I have to go.” She states as she sits in the driver’s seat. I squat down next to her seat keeping the door open.
“Raven tell me.” I plead, she leans her head back on the seat and closes her eyes as she sighs. I see the strain that this conversation is having clearly defined on her face.
“Yes” she whispers, as she opens her eyes and looks back at me, “Yes Nik, Luke is yours.”
I know this was all a surprise today, but I thought that I would be ready for her answer, well, I was wrong. Her reply leaves me gutted, the anger that fills me at myself for leaving when she most needed me, at not being there when my son was born and having missed his first years leaves me devastated.
“Now that you know please. . . let me leave.” Her voice breaks but she quickly composes herself.
“We . . .” I clear my throat trying to lighten the constriction that I feel around my throat and my heart. “We need to talk, I want to get to know my son. Where do you live?”
“Don’t do this Nik.” She pleads in a shaky voice
“Where Raven?” I ask
“In the same apartments but I moved to number two in the ground floor.” She murmurs, her shoulders dropped in dejection.
“I will be there at seven tonight,” I state, “I have things I need to tell you, I know it’s too late, but you need to know why I left.” She lifts her sad eyes to mine and nods. I stand and step back closing the door of the car. I look into the back seat and see Luke looking at me, the tightness around my heart constricts as I look at a small image of me. I continue looking at him until Raven pulls away and I’m standing in the parking space alone.
Lifting my hands to my hair I pull at it feeling some comfort at the pain. I’m going to have to find a way to keep my woman and son safe, my life has just overgone a full circle in the last half an hour, and instead of feeling defeated that I will have a weakness in my life, I feel hope that maybe I will be able to find the happiness that Alexey found with Jade.
I snap out of my thoughts as I feel my phone vibrate, “Da” I answer without seeing who the caller is.
“We ready to leave, are you going to grace us with your presence?” Alexey asks sarcastically.
“Da, be there in two” I reply as I make my way back towards the entrance to the doctors. I see Andrei step out as I arrive with Alexey and Jade right behind him. I thought that the boss would be upset that I had walked off, but he seems happy, whatever happened at the doctor has put him in a good mood.
The heaviness in my soul intensifies when I think that I missed all of this, I never got to see my woman pregnant with my child. “Nik, it’s a boy.” Jade reveals happily, I see Alexey’s arm tighten around her shoulders as he smiles down at her.
“Congratulations.”
“I have a meeting now, take Jade home so she can rest as we’re going out tonight to celebrate.” I nod at Alexey just as Jade starts to grumble about not being old to have to rest all the time, he quietens her with a blistering kiss that has Andrei nodding at me in amusement. In the last eight months that Alexey has known Jade he has changed, becoming more human or as human as we can be in our life.
“Now go with Nik Malysh, I will see you later.” He calls as he leaves. I guide Jade to the car, driving us home.
“So, are you going to tell me.” Jade asks as she looks at me.
“Net” I grunt
“He’s yours, isn’t he?” I sigh knowing that she’s not going to give up.
“Da”
“Did you know?”
“Net”
“
I’m sorry Nik,” she murmurs, as she turns towards the window. I admire Jade, for her strength her perseverance her kindness. She went through a rough patch when she met Alexey, but she has risen above it and persevered. I wonder if Raven can be as strong as Jade, if she can take a man like me and accept what I am.
TORMENTED: Bratva Fury (book 1) Page 19