Buttons and Blame

by Penelope Sky

  “It’s alright, Bellissima.” My lips brushed against her hairline as I felt her breathe heavily against me. She was safe in my arms, but she still felt terrorized. She’d suffered worse now than she did the first time. She couldn’t just brush that off. “I’m here. It’s over.”

  “You came back for me…”

  “I shouldn’t have let you go in the first place. I’m so sorry…” I should have shot Tristan right between the eyes and pulled Adelina out of there. I should have forced Tristan to take the money for her payment. I should have run away with her, taking her to all the beautiful places in the world, giving her the life she deserved to live.

  “No, Cane. Don’t ever apologize…”

  I wanted to hold her like that forever, but we needed to leave. “We need to get going. I have a meal packed for you in the back. You’re probably hungry…” Because she’d been starved the second she stepped foot on that compound.

  “I am. You’re going to sit with me, right?”

  I was planning on driving, but when she looked at me with those terrified eyes, I knew I couldn’t leave her side. “Yeah, I’ll sit with you.” I traded positions with one of the other men and got into the back seat beside her. I pulled off my jacket and laid it across her legs, covering every inch of her body so I wouldn’t have to look at her bruises. I pulled out the cooler and opened the sandwich, chips, sliced apples, and orange juice.

  Adelina took everything and scarfed it down like she hadn’t eaten in months.

  I couldn’t look at her. It was too painful. The bruises made me sick. The dirt in her hair made me angry. All the scars I couldn’t see made me want to hurl across the back seat. I kept my eyes out the window, doing everything I possibly could not to look at her. It was hard to look at her the first time, but it was nearly impossible the second time.

  “It’s a long drive,” I whispered. “You should get some sleep.”

  “Okay. I haven’t slept in a while… I’m pretty tired.” She lay down across the back seat, resting her head on my thigh. She immediately closed her eyes, exhausted and weak.

  If I weren’t surrounded by my men, I’d probably break down in tears. My fingers moved through her hair, and I gently caressed her, touching her the way a woman should be touched—delicately.

  Crow’s voice sounded in my ear. “How’s she doing?”

  I kept my voice low so she wouldn’t wake up. “She’s okay. Just ate. Now she’s getting some sleep.”

  “You want me to arrange for a doctor to come by your place in the morning?” Crow never offered to do anything for me. He was there when I asked, but he didn’t do thoughtful things like that. I knew he was asking out of concern for her—not me.

  “Please.”

  “I’ll take care of it.”

  “Thanks. Are you going to bring Pearl back?”

  He paused before he answered. “No. Not until I know if Tristan is dead or alive.”

  That was the cautious thing to do. “Good idea.”

  “Let me know if Adelina needs anything.”

  “How come you never ask if I need anything?” I asked quietly, trying to lighten the mood.

  “Because I actually like her. And we both know I don’t like you.”

  We arrived at my house at dawn. I carried Adelina inside the house, back to the place where we’d spent the last month getting to know each other. When I set her on the couch, her eyes fluttered open. She was still in the oversized sweater, a cut on the corner of her eye and her cheek purple and swollen. Underneath her pain, she was still beautiful. There was nothing that Tristan could do to her to hide her resilience.

  She slowly sat up and looked around the living room, recognizing the place. “Your house…”

  “We’re back.” I sat beside her and ran my fingers through her hair.

  “I never thought I’d see this place again.” She sat up and pulled her favorite blanket over her legs, hiding her bruised thighs. Perhaps she was cold. Or perhaps she just didn’t want me to see all the other places she was injured.

  My hand grabbed hers. “You’re safe, Adelina. Nothing can ever hurt you again.”

  The crew came inside and installed security precautions, cameras and an alarm system. Tristan could still be alive. I wanted to be prepared if he was. He didn’t know where I lived, but it wouldn’t be difficult to figure out.

  Adelina eyed the men as they walked by, her usual fire dormant. She naturally projected confidence and strength, but now she was more submissive than I’d ever seen her. She was disturbed. Just the night before, horrible things were being done to her.

  Crow joined us. “Adelina, I’m glad you’re alright.”

  Her face slowly changed, and her eyes lit up with pure joy. She quickly got to her feet and hugged him, squeezed him around the rib cage hard enough to make him release a quiet grunt. “Crow…I’m so happy to see you.”

  He patted her on the back awkwardly, probably uncomfortable by the embrace since he never touched anyone but Pearl. He wasn’t an affectionate guy in general, so this display of sentiment wasn’t his thing. “You too.”

  “Thank you for saving me. It means a lot to me.”

  “Of course,” Crow said. “You mean a lot to my brother. And if you mean a lot to him, you meant a lot to me.” He stepped away and waved for the physician to come over. “He’s gonna do a quick examination. Make sure you’re doing okay.”

  Adelina eyed him warily.

  “You guys can enter the first bedroom on the left,” Crow said.

  Adelina immediately turned to me. “I want you in there too, Cane.” It wasn’t a request, but a command. She obviously didn’t want to be alone with a man she didn’t know. She was more scarred than I realized.

  “Of course, Bellissima.” She never needed to be scared of anything again—not while I was around.

  15

  Pearl

  Santorini was the most beautiful place on earth. The Mediterranean Sea was deep blue and so clear, the islands in the distance stood tall like statues, and when the sun set, it was the most glorious sight I’d ever seen.

  But it wasn’t home.

  And I was alone.

  I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I knew I needed to stay calm because I had a little Barsetti growing inside me, but until I heard that Crow was okay, I wouldn’t be able to sit still. I marched back and forth on my patio. The home Crow had bought was enormous, remote, and gorgeous. I wondered why he’d never told me about it. Perhaps it was in anticipation of times like this.

  Lars stepped outside with me, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Ever since I arrived in Italy, I’d never seen Lars in anything but his tuxedo. Even if I spotted him in the kitchen in the middle of the night, that’s how he was dressed. I wouldn’t be surprised if he slept like that.

  But right now, I didn’t care what he was wearing.

  Lars stood at the balcony and watched me, his eyes full of sadness. “Mrs. Barsetti, it’ll be alright.”

  “We don’t know that.” I placed my hands on my hips as I walked back and forth, doing my best to get air into my body and out again. “Lars, if something happens to him—”

  “Nothing will happen to him, Mrs. Barsetti.”

  “Please just call me Pearl.”

  “Unfortunately, I can’t. I follow Mr. Barsetti’s orders even when he isn’t around.”

  I dragged my hands down my face. “It should be over by now…”

  “I’m sure we’ll get a call any minute.” Lars stood in front of me with his hands behind his back. He gave me a pitiful smile as he watched me suffer. “I’ve known Mr. Barsetti since the day he was born. I remember the day he came home from the hospital, his favorite toy, and the first time he was grounded. I’ve watched him grow into a man—the strongest man I’ve ever known.”

  I searched his blue eyes, finding consolation in the image of Crow as a young boy, playing with his toys on the living room floor.

  “He’s been the exact same man since the day he turned si
xteen. His attitude, habits, and beliefs have all been the same. But when you came along, he changed again. He grew into a different man, an even stronger one—because he knew he had something to protect. There’s no doubt in my mind that Crow will come back from this. It’ll take a lot more than a few bullets to slow him down. So just relax, Mrs. Barsetti.”

  It was two in the morning, and I sat on the patio looking over the water. The island curved to the left, so I could see the lights of the city. The waves crashed against the rock just below, but despite their soothing sensation, I couldn’t really enjoy it.

  The phone was beside me on the table.

  I checked it every half hour to make sure the battery wasn’t dead. I made sure it wasn’t accidentally off. I looked through my messages and ensured I didn’t miss anything. I should be sleeping right now, but I couldn’t.

  Lars was wide awake with me, refusing to sleep unless I slept too. I wanted to sleep just for him, but I couldn’t.

  I was a mess.

  Crow should have called by now.

  Why hadn’t he called?

  Cane hadn’t called either.

  Finally, the phone rang.

  I lurched at it and answered the call while hitting a bunch of different buttons at the same time. I didn’t even check who the caller was before I answered, needing it to be my husband. “Crow? Are you alright? Tell me you’re alright. Are you there?” I talked a million miles a minute without taking a breath.

  “Button, I’m okay.” His deep and calm voice sounded through the phone, the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard.

  I closed my eyes as the tears streaked down my face. I went from panic to sobbing in less than five seconds. I heaved into the phone, my chest rising and falling as I hyperventilated over the line. My reaction was overwhelming, even to me. I had been so scared this phone call would never happen. I had been so scared Cane would call and say his brother didn’t make it, that I’d lost the love of my life.

  “Button…”

  I covered my face with my hand and kept crying, knowing I was overreacting to good news. I should be happy. I should be smiling. But the emotion was more powerful than a tsunami. It swept over me with the force of nature, drowning me as I sank to the bottom of the ocean.

  Crow patiently waited for me to calm down. He stayed on the line, silent.

  I listened to my own tears for minutes, reminding myself this was real. This wasn’t a dream. My husband was okay. My husband was safe. My family was safe.

  “Shh,” he whispered. “Take three deep breaths, okay?”

  “Okay…” One. Two. Three. I stopped crying and felt my soaked cheeks. Without looking into a mirror, I knew my face was puffy, red, and hideous. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “I was just so scared…”

  “It’s over. No reason to be scared anymore.”

  “If I’d lost you—”

  “You didn’t. I’m here.”

  Cane and Adelina didn’t even cross my mind until then. All I cared about was Crow. “Is Cane okay?”

  “He’s fine. Adelina is home with him. Everything went well.”

  “That’s great… I’m so glad to hear that.”

  “We lost a few men, but casualties are always expected.”

  I was relieved he was okay, but I wished I could touch him. I wished I didn’t have to only hear his voice through the phone. “I want to see you.”

  “I want to see you too.”

  “Can I come home now? Can I leave now?”

  He paused for a long time. “You have to stay there.”

  “What?”

  “Just for a little while longer.”

  “Why?”

  “We killed everyone in the compound, but we aren’t sure what happened to Tristan. He got away on a boat. It was dark, and we couldn’t see. Until I have a confirmation that he’s dead, you can’t come back.”

  “But, Crow—”

  “It’s not up for discussion, Button.”

  My hand went to my stomach, knowing I couldn’t risk the life growing inside me. My life never had seemed valuable to me, but now that I was going to be a mother, everything was different. My life was invaluable because I had to take care of someone else. I had to protect the little person inside me at all costs. “How long will it be?”

  “I don’t know. Hopefully, not too long.”

  I was disappointed, but Crow was alive, so I should only feel grateful right now.

  “It’s beautiful there, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah, it is…”

  “How do you like the house?”

  “Empty without you.”

  “It’ll be over soon, Button. You know I can’t take any risks…not when it comes to the two of you.”

  “I know,” I whispered.

  “How’s Lars?”

  “He’s been keeping me calm. He’ll be happy to hear that you’re okay.”

  “I’m assuming you haven’t slept much?”

  “No…”

  “Then go get some sleep, Button.”

  “Where are you going to be?”

  “At the house. No one will expect me to be there.”

  “Please be careful.”

  “I’m always careful, Button. You know that.”

  I didn’t have anything else to say, but I wanted to keep him on the line. His silence was better than his absence.

  “Cane and I had transmitters inserted inside us, the same thing that you have. I’m gonna send you the tracking details. That way you can see where I am at all times on your phone.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Thank you.” We would still be apart, but at least I had a piece of him. Anytime I was uneasy, all I had to do was pull up his location on my phone. It would curb my anxiety. “That’ll help…”

  “Now you can keep an eye on me just how I keep an eye on you.”

  “Payback,” I teased.

  He chuckled. “Yeah, payback.”

  16

  Adelina

  I had a lot of cuts and bruises. But what I had more than anything else was pain.

  I hurt everywhere.

  The doctor examined me and gave me antibiotics. I had a wound in my leg, and it was beginning to show signs of infection. I also had a UTI because I’d lived in such unsanitary conditions. My head was pounding from dehydration, and my entire body hurt. Tristan hurt me more than he did last time.

  That was how much he missed me.

  I’d only been there a week, but it felt like a lifetime. It was so much worse than the first time I was there. He was more aggressive than before, and I also remembered exactly how it felt to be pampered and adored.

  It was such a drastic change.

  The only reason why I hadn’t taken those pills was because I lost them. I had them stashed between the mattress and the floor, but Tristan decided to keep me in his room on the floor. When I was finally returned to the cot soaked in urine, the room had been changed around.

  And the pills were gone.

  If Cane hadn’t come for me, I would have miserable for a long time.

  I never expected him to come to my rescue. Thoughts of him were the only thing that kept me going, the only thing that stopped me from collapsing. When Tristan raped me, I tried to pretend Cane was there with me. I pictured his handsome face and the comforting words he would normally say.

  When I heard the gunshots, I had no idea what was going on.

  And when Cane walked into my room, I almost didn’t believe it was him.

  The doctor left, and I sat alone in my old bedroom. It was the first place Cane brought me when I became his prisoner. It had a king-size bed with a duvet softer than a rose petal. There was a fireplace, a TV, and Tuscan style furniture. It was beautiful, like a page inside a magazine. It felt like home.

  Cane walked in a few moments later, his eyes heavy with exhaustion. He was still dressed in all black, a bulletproof vest strapped around his chest. His hair was mes
sy because he’d been fingering it nervously. All of his habits continued, but that shouldn’t be surprising since it’d only been a week since I’d seen him.

  Though it had felt like an eternity.

  He sat at the edge of the bed, purposely putting five feet between us.

  He didn’t need to do that.

  It was hard to look at him because I saw the pain etched into his features. His jaw was tight, not in annoyance, but agony. His dark eyes were heavier than usual. His beard was thick because he hadn’t shaved since the day I left. He looked as broken as I was.

  I wanted to shower and rinse all the dirt away. I wanted to scrub away the evidence that Tristan had ever touched me. But I wanted to be with Cane, to sit with him just like this. This man saved my life. He risked everything to get me out of there.

  How could I ever repay him for that?

  Cane cleared his throat. “I want to tell you that you can talk to me about what happened…that I’ll listen and be there for you. But honestly…I don’t think I can bear it.” He closed his eyes and swallowed. “I know that’s selfish, but…I just can’t.”

  “I understand,” I whispered. “There’s not much to say anyway.” I didn’t want to relive the pain. I wanted to move forward with my life and forget that horrible week. When I’d stayed with Cane for that month, he’d somehow put me back together. He made me feel like a person, not a victim. He didn’t look at me like I was stained or dirty. He looked at me like I was beautiful—always.

  “Maybe you could talk to Pearl…if you need to.”

  “Yeah…”

  He stared at the floor, his elbows resting on his knees. “Do you want to be alone for a while?”

  “Not particularly.”

  “Okay.”

  I watched the side of his face, watched the way his expression hardened.

  I scooted to the edge of the bed and sat directly beside him. I was the one who had been tortured and beaten, but I wanted to comfort him. He seemed to be holding on by a thread, about to be swept away in an undercurrent. “Why did you come for me?”