Break Away (The Moore Brothers Book 4)
Page 8
The other part of her was busy using words like stupid and wasteful, spoiled and helpless. To make matters worse, that part kept reminding her that she was in control of the situation and that she could fix it if she really wanted to. Thing was, she really wasn’t sure she wanted to. It all seemed too hard and too stressful and she liked it better when life was easy.
She put her purse down anyway. If she needed air, she had a perfectly good patio where there was more than enough air. She didn’t have anything to drink, but that was probably for the best. If she was going to solve this problem, she needed a clear head.
Except I have no fucking clue how to solve this problem so who cares if I have a clear head, she thought as she crossed the living room, stepping over the bills spread across the floor. She wasn’t about to call her brothers and ask for help. Not now. Not when she hadn’t decided if she was giving up yet.
To make matters worse, her throat was tightening and her eyes were burning and damned if she wasn’t about to start crying. She slid open the patio door and stepped outside. Took a few deep breaths and paced the small space, running her hands up into her hair.
“It’s gonna be okay,” she said to herself as she paced, her words a ragged whisper. Even she heard the desperation in the lie. “Just think. Think you idiot! You’re gonna be fine.”
“Lilah?” The voice, Cole’s voice, came from just the other side of the thin partition separating their patios.
Damn it! This is the last thing I need!
She swallowed hard before replying. “Lilah’s not here.”
There was the scrape of metal against concrete which she assumed meant Cole was standing up and coming over for a visit. She dried her eyes and wiped her nose. Tried to smooth out her hair and looked up sheepishly as he peeked around the little wall between them.
“Well, if Lilah’s not here, can I leave a message?”
She laughed and wrapped her arms tightly around the hollow pit in her stomach. “Hey, Cole.”
“Lilah? Where did you come from? Someone just told me you weren’t here.” He made a big show of looking confused and Lilah couldn’t help but laugh a little. “What’s going on?” he asked as he came around the wall to stand next to her. “And don’t you dare say nothing because my bullshit meter is already going off.”
“It’s nothing,” said Lilah and Cole dropped his jaw.
“Bullshit.”
“I mean, it’s nothing big…” Lilah wanted to sound big and brave and totally not helpless, but her voice cracked and tears welled up in her eyes again.
“Bullshit again, princess,” he said, but his voice was softer now, gentle and concerned. “What’s wrong?”
Lilah put her face in her hands and shook her head. “I don’t have enough money for my bills,” she muttered and mostly hoped he didn’t hear.
“Oh, darlin’. That’s never a good feeling. I’ve been there enough. Hell, I bet the whole world’s been there.” He closed the space between them and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “What happened? Did that car of yours break down again and you wasted it all on a cab and tow truck?”
Lilah made a sound that was half laugh, half sob and slapped Cole in the stomach. “No.”
“Well what happened then, princess?”
Lilah buried her face in his shoulder and appreciated having his strong arms around her when she was feeling so very weak. “I’m just not very good with money.”
“Well, that’s no surprise.”
“Cole!” Lilah lifted her face to his. “This isn’t funny!”
“Then why are you laughing?”
“Because you’re making me laugh.” Lilah considered pulling out of his arms, but it just felt too safe where she was.
“Good. As long as you’re feeling better.”
Lilah sighed. She wasn’t sure she was feeling better, her stomach was still boiling with worry, but at least the tears had dried up. “I don’t know what I’m going to do,” she said.
“How bad is it?”
She bit her lip and tried to add up all the numbers she had seen on the bills and in her bank app. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know? How don’t you know?”
“I told you I was bad at money!” The tears were threatening again and she suddenly felt decidedly less safe in his arms. “Don’t go getting all judgy on me. This is bad enough without you making it worse.”
Cole let her go and leaned against the wall. He took a deep breath and swallowed before turning to her, a cautious look on his face. “You want me to help? I can take a look, maybe it’s not as bad as it seems.” Lilah started to protest and Cole held up his hands. “I’m not trying to be nosy and I get it if you feel like telling me to go to hell, but I’m really good at making a little stretch out into a lot. I won’t offer again, but the offer’s there even if it takes a few days for you to accept it.”
The last thing she wanted was to show him just how big of a failure she was, but it sure would be nice to have someone who knew how to balance a budget offering her advice. Someone who wasn’t a Moore. Someone who wouldn’t laugh in her face and call her a failure.
“Are you sure it’s not a problem?” she asked after a few silent moments.
“As long as you’re sure it won’t make you feel weird, me getting into your finances.”
“Oh, it’ll make me feel weird, but I think I really need help. I don’t have a clue what to do.”
“Well then come on, princess. Invite me in and let’s get to work solving this problem.”
* * *
“How the hell did you think you were gonna afford all this?” Cole had pretty quickly gone from calm to incredulous as he dug through her account. Lilah had pretty quickly gone from embarrassed to angry and then right back to embarrassed again.
She shrugged. “I didn’t think it’d be a problem.”
Cole’s eyebrows shot up. “You didn’t think…?” He took a deep breath and let it out with purpose before he spoke again. “Lilah, are you more than a month late on any of these bills?” He indicated the utility bills on the floor beside him.
“No. This is the first time I’ve had to pay any of them.” Her voice quavered and she wrung her hands. “It’s bad, isn’t it? I’ve really messed up, haven’t I?”
“Well, if you aren’t already late on these, it’s not as bad as it could be.” He invited her to sit down next to him. “But, honestly, and I’m really trying not to be judgmental here, but where did you think all this money was going to come from?”
“I thought I’d make enough at the diner…” Lilah trailed off. The truth was that she had never had to pay attention to her account in the past and she had honestly just thought everything would work out okay, but she really didn’t want to admit that.
“Do you have paper? A pen?” Cole asked.
Lilah nodded, not trusting her voice, and went to get him what he asked for.
“Here,” Cole said. “Let me show you something.” He drew a long line down the middle of the paper and wrote income on one side of the line and then expenses on the middle. He scrolled through the last month of activity on her account and tallied up all the deposits she made.
“Have you been depositing your tips?” he asked after he jotted down the answer. “Because I know you’re not the best waitress, but there’s no way you’re this bad.” He offered a smile, but there was a whole lot of appalled concern in his eyes.
“No,” she said, slightly dismayed at how small the number was. “I mean, yes. Kind of. I deposit most of my tips, but I keep out some for, you know, treats. Odds and ends. That kind of stuff.”
Cole rubbed a hand over his mouth. He didn’t say anything, just nodded and went to work writing down all the expenses he found on the other side of the line. When he was done, that whole side of the paper was filled and Lilah was appalled to see how much she had spent.
“Wow,” she said. “I never even realized.”
“So what I see here is a lot of luxury items,”
Cole said, studying the list. “Most of this stuff isn’t even stuff you need. Like this here?” He tapped the line listing her cable bill with his pen. “Just cutting that alone would make a whole lot of room in your budget.”
“Cut out cable?” Lilah was incredulous. “Cable’s not a luxury item!”
“It sure as hell is. And so is Netflix, Hulu, and Pandora Plus,” he said, tapping his pen on each item as he named them. “You cut those things out and you’ll save up a lot of money each month.”
Cole spent the rest of the evening explaining what he would do if he were in her situation and by the time he was done, they had hammered out a plan that looked great on paper but sounded terrible in reality. She was going to cut her cable. Start shopping at a discount grocery rather than Whole Foods. Stop eating out and only eat from home. She wasn’t allowed to buy new clothes. No new shoes. No new nail polish, hair products, or makeup unless she was genuinely out of the stuff she had at home. Not even if it was on sale.
Lilah was dreading it.
Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Part of her was exhilarated to have a plan. Excited to start on this next, even harder step on her adventure. But more than that, she was grateful for Cole Bennett. A man who had spent the last few hours picking through her budget and helping her hammer out a strategy to get this month’s bills paid soon and next month’s bills paid on time. A man who hadn’t been so set on pleasing her, or afraid to make her mad that he had actually pointed out exactly what she was doing wrong without worrying about getting on her bad side.
Lilah wasn’t sure anyone had ever spoken to her the way Cole had spoken to her tonight. Well, her brothers told her what they thought of her all the time, but they really didn’t count.
“You’re kind of awesome, you know,” she said as they unfolded themselves from the floor.
“Oh, I know.” Cole gave her a silly look and stretched, his shirt pulling tight against his chest in a way that made Lilah feel bad for looking. “You feel better?”
“Completely. It’s so good having a plan.”
“Having a plan and sticking to a plan are two different things, princess.”
“Another bit of your grandpa’s wisdom?”
“Oh no. That’s all me.” Cole sighed. “I’m gonna head out, now,” he said, indicating the door with a jerk of his head but keeping his feet planted where he stood. He shoved his hands in his pockets and rounded his back, stretching his shoulders.
Lilah didn’t want him to leave, and the awkward way he kept not heading towards the door told her he didn’t feel too eager to go anywhere himself. But Cole didn’t do girlfriends and Lilah didn’t do casual, so the growing urge to step into his arms was just going to have to go right on being ignored.
“Come on, oh wise one,” she said, grabbing his bicep—holy shit it was big!—and steering him towards the door despite every single hormone in her body screaming at her not to do it. “I’m sure you’re tired and have an early morning. I’ve used up enough of your time.”
When they got to the door, Cole pulled her into his arms and held her tight to his chest. Her heart did its best impression of the rust bucket, chugging along in some strange rhythm while she breathed in his scent. He pressed a kiss into the top of her head before pulling away.
“Goodnight, princess,” he said and slipped out the door, leaving Lilah staring after him, biting her lip to keep from calling him back.
13
It had been a series of hard mornings and long days. Cole sat at his table with his head in his hands while his mom ambled out of the kitchen armed with coffee and a smile.
“You’ve looked better,” she said, sliding a travel mug his way.
“I hope so.” Cole took a tentative sip of his coffee in case it was scalding ass hot. “If I look like I feel then I’m sure I look like hell.”
“You work too hard.”
“Nah. No such thing.” July had been a good month, but August was making him work for his money.
“There most definitely is such a thing. One of these days you’ll get old enough to believe it.” Maggie lowered herself into the chair next to Cole with a groan. “Not looking forward to all the bending and twisting today. Not one bit.”
If he could, Cole would get his mom into a better job. One that paid more and came with a chair to plant her butt in all day. Her life had been hard enough dealing with his dad. The last thing she needed was a job that had her cleaning up other people’s messes all day.
“Can I tell you something?” He fidgeted with his coffee and wished he hadn’t said anything the moment the words were out of his mouth.
“Uh-oh. Do I want you to tell me something?”
Cole crossed his arms on the table and looked his mom in the eyes. “I didn’t think you were gonna stay gone. I thought you’d be here a week and then go home.”
Maggie lifted an eyebrow. “You trying to kick me out? Tell me I overstayed my welcome? You ready to have a bedroom again?”
“No, mom.” He shook his head. “I’m really glad you’re here. I wouldn’t wish you back there for any amount of personal space in the world.”
“I think I’m gone for good.” Maggie picked at her fingernails and then flattened her hands on the table and met Cole’s eyes. “Maybe this old dog is finally learning a new trick. You’re never too old to change, I guess.” With that she slapped her hands on the table and scooted her chair back. “We should go,” she said in a tone that meant she was done talking about heavy things. “You ready?”
Cole nodded and stood up, swiped his keys from the counter and locked up behind them. He didn’t say much as they drove into work. His mind was busy going over their conversation. As much as he hated to admit it, he never expected his mom to stay gone. He figured she was too set in her ways to be strong enough to leave that old bastard. The fact that she was still here with him, crowding him out of his bedroom, surprised the hell out of him and made him so happy he didn’t know what to do with it all.
But more than all that was the fact that his mom was in the middle of making a huge, life altering change. She had stepped out from under the asshole’s control and was taking her life into her own hands. And while it had to be hard and scary, she was going to be all the better for it. And if Maggie Bennett could change, then maybe Cole Bennett could, too.
“Is Lilah coming over tonight?” Maggie fiddled with the radio, searching for a decent station.
“Yep. It’s our weekly money meeting.”
Maggie shook her head. “That girl is a financial disaster.”
“I don’t get it,” Cole said as he turned into the parking lot of the business complex his mom cleaned in the mornings. “It’s like she’s never had to think about money once in her whole life. But she’s got even less furniture than I do, eats off chipped plates, and drives a car I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.”
“Well, maybe that’s why she doesn’t have much. Because she can’t figure out how to get more.”
Cole hadn’t thought of it that way before. “That makes sense, I guess. I don’t know if I feel sorry for her because she’s such a mess or if I just want to make it all better for her.”
Maggie paused, the door of the truck half open, and gave him one hell of a weird look. “Why don’t you invite her for dinner tomorrow. That’ll give me time to get to the grocery and plan a meal worthy of us hard-working people.”
After the way this week had treated him, an evening laughing with Lilah sounded fantastic. “Works for me,” he said, a grin brightening his face.
“Cole Bennett. Are you pining after the girl next door?” Maggie had hopped out of the truck and stood there with the door open, a knowing smile twisting her lips.
“Lilah Moore is not the girl next door.”
“She literally lives right next to you.”
“You know what I mean.”
“And you know what I mean.” Cole knew what that look on his mom’s face meant. It meant that she intended to stick her nose all up in hi
s business. She was probably already dreaming about grandkids.
“Well, Lilah’s made it pretty clear she doesn’t do casual. And since I don’t do girlfriends…”
Maggie mouthed those last words with him and rolled her eyes. “Yeah. I’ve heard that before.”
“Well, Lilah’s already shot me down twice. So you can go right on and wipe all those thoughts of getting us together out of your mind.”
“Just the fact that that you tried again after the first time tells me all I need to know. Invite her for dinner tomorrow.” With that, his mom closed the door and sauntered away, looking over her shoulder with this silly little knowing look that should have irritated him to death.
It didn’t.
It made him smile.
14
“Lilah! Your boyfriend’s here!” Christy-Anne called out just a little too loudly from her spot near the serving station at the diner.
Lilah emerged from the break room, tying her apron back on and making sure she had her pen and paper in her pocket. “He’s not my boyfriend. I’ve only said that like a hundred times already.”
“You keep denying it and I’ll keep reminding you that this is the guy that rescued you from a major creeper. A guy who totally abandoned the girl he was with to do said rescuing. A guy who’s been here, by himself, at least once a week since. Oh, and did I mention he’s always in your section? Because he is. Always in your section.”
“Cole and I are just friends.”
“You keep right on saying that and I’ll keep right on knowing that Cole Bennett doesn’t do ‘just friends’.”
He doesn’t do girlfriends, either, she thought and pushed past the grinning Christy-Anne to make her way to Cole’s table. On the way, she stopped to check on two other customers, laughing and joking with them as if they were long time friends. She swooped up a tip on a recently vacated table and arrived with a sigh in front of Cole.