Break Away (The Moore Brothers Book 4)

by Brooks, Abby

  And for whatever reason, anger made a whole lot of sense. Lilah stood and stomped to the door. She would bang on his door and call him all the names he needed to be called. This would be her own version of the walk of shame, the one where she stood on his doorstep and let anger put on a show.

  She threw open her door and headed right for his.

  “Hey, princess.” It was Cole, sounding surprised. “Where you going?”

  Lilah stopped in her tracks and spun, finding him looking at her from under the hood of the Neon, a wrench in hand. “To yell at you. What the hell are you doing?”

  Cole straightened. Put a hand on the hood above his head and leaned on his forearm. “You remember that first time you came to my house for dinner?”

  “Yeah…” Lilah wrapped her arms around her stomach, very confused.

  “I tried to kiss you. Remember?” Cole waited for Lilah’s nod. “And what did you say?”

  “That I didn’t do casual.”

  “Right. And what did I say?”

  Lilah shook her head. Anger was still at the party, stomping around and making it hard to focus. “I don’t remember,” she said, scrunching her eyebrows together.

  “Well I do. I said that maybe you were the girl to change my mind about that. And you said…” Cole tilted his head and waited for her to fill in the blank.

  Surprise chased away anger and started her stomach swirling in a whole different direction. “I said I’d believe that when the rust bucket was reliable and starts every time I need it to.”

  “And that,” he said with a smile. “Is exactly what I’m doing.”

  19

  Dating Cole Bennett was a whole new level of awesome. He treated her like the princess he said she was, texting her throughout the day, dropping off little presents at the diner, knocking on her door just to kiss her good night. All things that totally didn’t jive with the picture of the hardened player who didn’t do girlfriends that Lilah had drawn of him.

  Whatever the reason, Lilah tried not to analyze it too much. Just enjoy it. Not only was he the best sex she had ever had, but he treated her better than any man ever had. He was real with her, not afraid to break her or offend her. He didn’t have her up on a pedestal because he didn’t know that she was the Lilah Moore. Didn’t know that her parents had enough money to change his entire life. Wasn’t aware that dating her could come with life-altering perks.

  Lilah woke with a smile on her face each and every day. Eager and excited to grab her phone and see what sweetness he had left for her to find. Today, it was just one simple text.

  Good morning, beautiful.

  And so, she shot back a simple text of her own.

  Good morning, Mr. Wonderful.

  How’d you sleep?

  Great. My legs are sore this morning, though. ;)

  Hate to say it, but that makes me smile.

  You get off on my pain?

  I’m not that big of an ass. You up and moving?

  Kind of. Give me an hour?

  Tick tock, princess. :)

  Lilah slid out of bed and stretched, smiling, when her phone buzzed on last time.

  I can’t wait to see you.

  Lilah had a late shift at the diner yesterday, which meant she hadn’t gone over to Cole’s when she got off work. Since Maggie had moved out last week, Lilah had been spending more and more time at his place, spending the night there more often than not. But, since she ended up having to close last night, they had opted for an afternoon get together. One that ended up with Lilah on her back, as did most of their time together.

  Today, Cole was taking her out on the water. When she admitted that she had only been on a boat once or twice in her life, Cole had been chagrined and promised to rectify that as soon as possible. And today was the day.

  Lilah took a quick shower and got ready, pulling on her bikini and covering it with a light sundress Cole bought her last week. She packed a lunch for them. Just a simple thing, the kind of meal Cole seemed to prefer. Sandwiches and chips. A bottle of water for her, an iced tea for him. In the past, she would have rolled her eyes at such an easy meal. Not now. Now, it made her smile.

  After throwing everything into a big bag, she locked her apartment behind her and made the short trip to Cole’s. He had told her just to come on in, that she didn’t need to knock, but for some reason, she still couldn’t quite get her mind wrapped around that. She knocked twice and then cracked open the door.

  “Cole?”

  His happy face appeared from in the kitchen. “Hey babe! Come on in.” He came to meet her at the door, wiping his hands on his swim trunks. “Just making us some lunch.”

  Lilah laughed. “But I made us lunch.”

  Cole gave her a questioning look. “What did you make? Because I’m sure my lunch is better.”

  “Don’t be too sure of that. I made this one just for you.” She opened the bag and showed him the sandwiches—lunchmeat on wheat bread, just the way he liked.

  “Told you mine was better,” he said and disappeared back into the kitchen.

  “How can you say that?” Lilah followed him in, trying not to be offended. “I made this exactly the way you like!”

  Cole flared his hands towards the food he had lined up on the counter. Salad in Tupperware. Fresh fruit. Little baggies of almonds. He had cheeses and slices of meat from the deli. “I even bought the fancy crackers,” he said, holding up a box of crackers Lilah knew he found particularly disgusting.

  “Is this why you don’t do girlfriends?” she asked and immediately regretted the statement. “Not that I’m your girlfriend,” she said. “Just…” Damn. Now she had no idea how to make this moment less awkward.

  Cole chuckled. “What’s wrong with being my girlfriend?” he asked as he turned away to pack up the lunch he made for her. The absolutely perfect Lilah lunch.

  “Nothing.” Lilah leaned on the counter so she could see his face. “Just, you know when you’re trying to win over a wild animal and you don’t want to move too fast in case you scare it away? Yeah. It’s kind of like that.”

  Cole swept Lilah into his arms and nuzzled her neck. “Are you calling me an animal?” He growled into her ear and nibbled at her earlobe.

  “Most definitely.”

  “I’ll show you an animal.” And with that, he picked her up and slung her over his shoulder. Carried her upstairs while she giggled and shrieked.

  * * *

  They got to the marina a little later than they planned. Not that Lilah was too worried about it. She had that wonderful, loose jointed, jelly-legged thing going on that was almost just her new way of being with Cole in her life. Holy hell, that man was the king of orgasms.

  “What are you thinking about?” he asked her as he pulled all their gear out of the back of his truck.

  “Just being thankful that I won’t have to walk too much today. Legs are all wobbly again.” She pursed her lips and lifted her eyebrows, waiting for him to understand.

  “Just the way I like you.”

  He led her down the docks towards a boat that looked nothing like a shrimping trawler. “Is this yours?” she asked, more than a little surprised.

  “Nah.” Cole stepped aboard and held out a hand for Lilah. “This belongs to the guy who owns Fisherman Jack’s. My boat is dirty and stinks so bad from all the shrimp that they won’t even let me dock it here next to all the yachts and fancy-pants boats. I have to take a dinghy out to where I have her moored.”

  Cole deposited Lilah in one of the chairs and went to work getting them out of the marina and onto the open water. She didn’t even try to hide the fact that she was watching him intently and he didn’t even try to hide the fact that he liked the attention. The late morning sun streamed down onto his strong back and capable hands and glistened on his skin. His white-blonde hair sparkled in the light and Lilah found herself wishing he wasn’t wearing sunglasses because she was sure those blue-gray eyes would just finish off the picture. He looked at ease and natural
behind the wheel of this big ‘fancy-pants’ boat.

  “How’s your mom doing?” she asked after he had killed the engine and dropped anchor. All Lilah could see was water and sky.

  Cole shrugged. “Seems to be doing alright.” He leaned back in his chair and threaded his hands behind his head. “I never thought she would have the courage to do it. To actually leave him for good.”

  Lilah froze. This was the closet Cole had ever come to talking about his dad and she had no idea if she should stay silent or respond. She wanted him to open up to her about it. Would a question shut him up?

  Cole sighed and looked Lilah straight in the face. “My dad’s a drunk. The worst kind. The more he drinks, the angrier he gets.”

  “Did he hit you?”

  “Only ever once or twice. And certainly not after I got big enough to hit back.”

  Lilah’s heart clenched for the truth of Cole’s childhood. No child needed to fear a parent. Every child deserved a safe place to lay their head, and with a tyrant for a father, surely, Cole never had one. Not until he moved out. And after living a life of fear, maybe not even then.

  “Is that why you don’t drink?”

  Cole gave her a funny little look. “I drink. I have a beer every night.”

  “Yeah. I’ve noticed. But...” Lilah took a breath, careful to make sure she didn’t say anything that might end up with him shutting down. “I’ve also noticed that it’s always just one beer. And that most times you don’t even finish it. You take small sips and stare it down, almost like you’re challenging it.”

  Cole bobbed his head and looked out over the water. She studied his face carefully and didn’t see even the smallest hint of stress or anxiety. In fact, it almost looked like Cole was feeling free. Like he was glad to finally get these things out of his head.

  Or maybe that was wishful thinking.

  “You’re damn perceptive, you know that?” Cole shifted in his seat. “I open a beer every night. I drink it slow. And you’re right, I never finish it. Because I’m in control. Not the beer.”

  “Have you ever not been in control?”

  Cole cleared his throat and looked at his hands. “When I was younger. I used to drink more than I needed to.” He looked at her and she could see past all the barriers he had put up right through to the hurt he held inside. “Yeah, I’d say I lost control back then. Drank until I couldn’t remember what I did the night before.”

  “Do you get angry when you drink?”

  “Nah. I just get silly.” He pursed his lips and bobbed his head again. “I’m not my dad. I figured that out a long time ago. But…” He shrugged. “I guess now, it’s not that I drink my beer to show that I’m in control, it’s that I drink my beer to remind me why I am in control.” He rolled his eyes and sat up, put his elbows on his knees. “I know it doesn’t make much sense…”

  “No. It makes total sense. And I think it just shows what a good man you are.” Lilah smiled. “That and the way you take care of your mom. And me.”

  “Well, you can chalk that up to two things.” Cole held up a finger. “For one, my grandpa always told me to treat my cars and my women like they were the most precious thing to me and they’d stick by my side for as long as I needed. I took it to heart.”

  Lilah giggled. “Lucky me. I’m the first woman other than your mother that gets to benefit from your advice.”

  “You better believe it.” He leaned forward and ran a hand up her thigh, stopping just short of her bikini line before sliding it back down towards her knee. Just that tiny intimate touch made Lilah get a little wet and her heart did a series of flip-flops in her chest. “And the other thing? What’s number two?”

  “Lilah dear, if I have to explain that to you, then I’m so very confused about your upbringing.”

  By the look on his face, Cole was trying to be funny, but she couldn’t quite figure out what she was missing. She replayed her words in her head and suddenly realized what she had just said. “Ewww. Cole. You’re such a little boy sometimes.”

  But what she didn’t say was that she knew she probably had lost the chance to hear his second reason he takes such good care of her and Maggie. Cole hid behind his humor. What was the saying? The best offense is a good defense? Well, Cole had clearly become a master of sarcasm and wordplay from a very young age. And while he was very funny, very funny indeed, sometimes that humor was nothing more than a wall coming up to keep her away from the parts that hurt.

  And not just her. Lilah wasn’t fool enough to believe that it was just her out of all the people in the world he was trying to keep out. No. It was quite the opposite. He was trying to keep the entire world out. And she was maybe the one person he happened to let in.

  She sat quietly and listened to the water lapping against the boat. Closed her eyes and drank in the sunshine. Was this his every day? Out here in the hot sun and the vast open space? Just nothing but water and sky for miles?

  “Reason number two isn’t quite as special as words of wisdom passed on from a wise old man,” Cole said, his voice heavy. “I get to thank my dad for this wonderful protective streak. Nothing like watching your mom get hit in the face when you’re too small to be of any help to build in a desire to be superman.”

  “Oh, Cole…” Lilah’s heart broke for him. How could she even begin to understand what he went through as child?

  “But,” he said, slapping his thighs and smiling wide. “That’s all in the past. The one thing I have to thank my dad for is showing me how not to live. So, he’s kind of a reverse role model.” And then Cole smiled the widest of smiles. Just like his soul was happy and trying to fight the sun for who could be the brightest that day. “Plus, Mom finally moved out. After decades of letting him twist her up with fear and doubt, she’s changed and grown enough to tell him to fuck off.”

  “That’s gotta feel really good.”

  Cole shook his head and let out a long breath. “Honestly? I can’t actually process it yet. But yeah, it feels damn good. And even more honestly? Watching her find the strength to change after all this time gave me the courage to think that maybe I could change, too. That maybe I could do the girlfriend thing.”

  Lilah smiled. She couldn’t believe he had just spoken all those words about himself to her. Paragraphs and paragraphs about his thoughts and feelings with very little joking or sarcasm thrown in. Did he even open up like that to Maggie? Had he ever opened up like that before? Was she really one of the only people who finally got to see inside the mind and heart of Cole Bennett?

  “So what do you think?” he asked, staring at her with more intensity than she was prepared for.

  “About what?” Was he asking her about his past? Because she didn't think he was ready to hear what she really thought about his past.

  “About the girlfriend thing?”

  Lilah’s heart dropped to her stomach and took her jaw with it. “Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”

  Cole made a face like he was thinking and then nodded. “Yep. The rust bucket has started every day for the last few weeks and you have definitely been the girl to change my mind. I just want to spend as much time next to you as I can. I don’t like the idea of anyone else spending time with you. I want to claim you. I want you to be mine. All mine. And I am not in the mood to share, not even a little.”

  “Do I get to say that I’m not in the mood to share, too?” Lilah wanted to say yes more than anything in the world. She wanted to be his and wanted him to be hers, but she couldn’t stand the thought of making things official with him only to find out he hadn’t been faithful. Her heart wouldn’t stand up under being cheated on. She knew that without a doubt in her mind.

  Cole pretended to consider. “I guess you can say it, but does that mean I have to listen?”

  Lilah laughed and shook her head. “Cole…” She closed her eyes. “I’m being serious here.”

  All humor drained from his face and he took her hands. “I haven’t looked at another woman since the d
ay I scared that creep off you at the diner. Only you, Lilah Moore. Only you.”

  20

  August bled into September and Lilah spent more and more time at Cole’s. Or, he spent more time at her apartment. Or really, they managed to turn two apartments into one apartment. She never slept alone anymore. Every night she was either at his place or he was at hers. Today, she woke up in his bed, which was her favorite place to wake up.

  He thought he had become the master of slipping out in the morning without waking her, but really, she woke up every time. She always stayed still and let her breathing stay even. Just listened to him moving around and getting ready. Loved the intimacy of watching him pick out his clothes for the day. Of smelling his body wash and cologne filter out of the bathroom along with the steam from the shower.

  As always, he kissed her on the head before slipping out the door. She listened to him pour a cup of coffee and grab his keys. Close the door softly behind himself and lock it. As she heard his truck roar to life, she let her eyes slide closed again. She would sleep until the sun peeked through the blinds and then slip back into her apartment for a shower before she got ready for work.

  Even after a month of mornings like this, she missed him the moment he was gone. Even though she knew she would see him later in the evening, even though logic dictated there was no reason to miss him at all, her heart didn’t understand time and logic. All it knew was that he wasn’t with her here and now. That it wanted him near and in this moment, he was not. She ached for him in his absence and right now, stretched out in his bed, she pulled his pillow into her arms and breathed in his scent. Just smelling him made her feel safe.

  Maybe, before she left, she would sneak into his bathroom and put on some of his cologne so she could feel safe all day. Maybe, if she could smell him, she wouldn’t miss him so much. She rolled over onto her back, clutching his pillow to her chest, and let herself drift back to sleep.