Dream Keeper

by Gail McFarland

  “Have you talked this over with AJ?”

  “Not yet, but you can’t keep on like this, Rissa.”

  “That’s pretty much what Joyce said. And I said I would think about it, but promise you’ll talk to AJ.”

  “I will, but this is the right thing to do—for you and for Dench.”

  Rissa’s nail rifled the folders again. “You just want to stake a claim on my happily ever after.”

  “And what’s wrong with happily ever after?”

  * * *

  There is absolutely nothing wrong with happily ever after, Marlea thought as she touched the wall panel that bathed her bedroom in soft light. If she had been counting, that would have only made the fiftieth time she’d had the thought since talking with Rissa.

  Sometimes happily ever after needs a little help, but all in all, happily ever after is a good thing and I ought to know.

  It still made her smile to think of her own fairy tale. Who could have known that a woman who had run all her life would have run into her own handsome Prince Charming in something so ordinary as a 10K footrace? Who could have guessed that, even when the dragon at the door was a doctor who cast a dream-stealing spell over the heroine, she would still find a way to run into the arms of her hero? And that the hero would turn his back on a wicked witch capable of stealing his will with unimaginable skills, to claim happily ever after.

  “Hey, Silk.” The perfect hero, still wet from the shower, a towel wrapped at his waist, AJ walked into the room and his wife fell in love all over again. She watched as the sweet milk chocolate of his skin flowed complete and beautiful, capturing bronze tones as he passed into the light. Muscle, bold and breathtaking, sculpted by a lifetime of athletics, showed in artistic detail along the eye-pleasing length of his elegantly articulated body, and her knees grew soft. Then he smiled at her.

  “Thank you for fairy tales,” Marlea murmured, wondering if the time was right.

  Her eyes on him made him watch her. Then her tongue traced her lower lip, taunting him. “What are you thinking?”

  An easy glance at his towel told her what he hoped she was thinking. “Babies,” she said.

  “Another baby? Three?” He grinned. “Why not? It’s not like we aren’t great parents. Another baby might be fun.”

  “You mean making one might be fun?” He was too close and she couldn’t resist, not even if she wanted to—and she didn’t want to. Marlea pulled at the towel knotted at his waist and it came away in her hand. Holding the towel aloft, she stepped back. “Oh, my goodness, look what I found.” Her lusty interest evident, she danced back a step, but only one when he reached for her. Naked, his palpable and growing need unmistakable, he reached for her again.

  “Ooh, I give up.” Marlea let the towel drop to their feet, her eyes never leaving his when she stepped into his embrace and feigned innocence. “What are you going to do to me?”

  “Give me a minute, I’ll think of something.”

  His mouth found the dusky column of her throat and claimed the sweetness he found there. Fast hands, large enough to snatch a speeding ball from the air, were gentle as he stole the clothes from her body and claimed her. In his arms, kissing and touching, Marlea felt a fleeting whisper of guilt, but the heat of his hands on her skin brushed it away.

  Holding her hips, softly kissing her stomach, slowly working his way down to the groove between her thighs, they shared deep and hungry breath. Moving inward, delicately revealing her, accepting her welcome, he felt her quiver. Rocked by the oceans he stirred within her, she called his name and he clung to the silken bands of her flesh.

  In AJ’s arms, pressed beneath the weight of his body, knowing that he was as necessary and as integral as air, Marlea had one thought as she surrendered to all that they shared: I’ll tell him tomorrow.

  Chapter 11

  Martha Baldwin was used to the vibe they shared. Goodness knew she’d been around long enough to watch them build their communal bond and to watch them with their children. Not that they were perfect. In fact, some days she wondered why God had trusted them with each other. But other days, it made no sense in the world to wonder if there had ever been anyone else for either of them.

  This was one of those days, she noted. Marlea was moving through the kitchen with efficient grace, like a model mommy. But today, Mommy had a bit of an edge. Not one for robes and slippers at breakfast, today was an exception. Her usually sleek hair looked more than a little worse for wear, twisted up from the nape of her neck and clipped high on her head, and every time her eyes touched AJ, the color in her mocha-toned skin went high.

  And AJ wasn’t much better, though he’d pulled on jeans and a T-shirt. Talking with his son, his voice low and specific, he was a daddy a little boy would always love. He hadn’t shaved yet and his eyes were heavy lidded. Daddy definitely looked like he hadn’t gotten much sleep last night.

  Luring Nia to the table, using her sippy cup as bait, Marlea smiled at AJ and the housekeeper read the subtext. It must have been a good night, because they both look like they would fall in bed together in a heartbeat. Martha stirred her eggs and kept her thoughts to herself.

  Sliding the eggs onto the warm, waiting plate, she handed them off to Marlea. So nice to see how far they’ve come to be together like this. To have and enjoy their children and each other. But it wasn’t always like this. No, sir!

  There was a time when it looked like this little domestic scene didn’t stand a snowball’s chance in Hell. Martha strolled over to the counter and selected a rosy apple from the sterling bowl and found a paring knife in the drawer by her hip. Yes, child, there was a time…Martha tucked in her plump bottom lip and held it between her teeth.

  It was magic for both of them, almost like catching lightning in a jar, the way they found each other. Twisting the knife, Martha scooped out the apple’s core, and thought about the man and woman across from her. She just about ran him off before she understood what he felt for her, but he stuck and stayed, and here they are. Slicing the apple, Martha slipped a sweet crunchy slice between her lips and considered while she chewed. Those two were made to be mated, I figure. Rissa and Dench, too, because if the good Lord ever made a woman for any man, then He surely made Rissa for Dench—and vice versa.

  Martha managed to keep her eyes on her apple, but she was fully aware of Marlea and AJ talking, teasing, playing, and engaging their children, even as they connected with each other. Intimate as lover’s foreplay, they shared food, newspapers, and coffee and made it look easy and natural in the process.

  Feeling every bit the voyeur, Martha Baldwin finished her apple and moved to rinse the plate she’d used. Standing at the granite sink, her back to them, she heard Jabari’s quick laughter. “Mommy kissed Daddy!”

  “You think that’s something? Watch Daddy kiss Mommy.”

  Nia clapped her hands and laughed, too, imitating her adored brother.

  Martha let her eyes drift into the courtyard beyond the kitchen window and smiled. Sounds like a little privacy might be in order. Leaving the dishes, Martha moved smoothly to the table and scooped Nia from her booster seat.

  Settled on the housekeeper’s hip, Nia smiled. “Store?” she wanted to know. When the housekeeper nodded, the little girl’s face lit up and she swiped her hands over her face. “Me, too?

  “As soon as I take care of that potty face,” Martha teased.

  “ ’Kay.” Any store was Nia’s favorite place to be—even if it meant additional face washing. “Come on, ’Bari.” She was even willing to share the adventure with her brother.

  “Bye, Dad.” Jabari climbed down from his chair and grinned up at his mother. When Marlea closed one eye in a slow wink, his grin widened and he slowly squeezed both eyes tight then opened them wide. “I love you, too.”

  Bending to hug him was easy; standing and releasing him was a good bit more difficult, but Marlea managed and waved when he ran off.

  “I wonder if he’ll always do that two-eyed wink for you?” AJ
opened his arms, then closed them again when Marlea dropped into his lap.

  “I hope so,” she said.

  “You say that now, but when he’s thirty-five and his wife is giving you the evil eye…”

  “I’ll still love it.” Turning slightly, Marlea linked her fingers with AJ’s and they sat together, listening to the sounds of their home.

  “Life is more than a little different with kids, huh?”

  “But it’s a good different, and I wouldn’t trade anything for them. I wish…”

  “What do you wish, Silk?”

  “A baby.” Leaning forward, she rested her forehead against his and smiled. “For Rissa and Dench.” She sighed. “I wouldn’t mind being pregnant again.”

  His fingers, warm and strong, squeezed hers gently. “Another baby is not a bad idea. You look good pregnant.”

  “Are you sure?” She tilted her head, and he reached out to touch the strands of hair that slipped free to caress her cheek. “You wouldn’t mind me carrying another child?”

  “I can’t think of a single reason to mind.”

  “I was hoping you’d say that, but…” She slipped her slender hand to his cheek and touched him the way he touched her. “AJ, I don’t think you understand. I promised Rissa that I would talk to you. If I carried another baby, it would be…”

  “What has Rissa got to do with us and a baby?”

  “A baby?” Before Marlea could answer, Jabari launched himself into the kitchen. “For us?” Climbing onto the chair next to his father, he looked seriously from one parent to the other. “If we have a baby, could it just not be another sister, okay? They’re icky, nothing but trouble.”

  Laughing, AJ locked his arms around Marlea and laid his face against hers. “Well, son, sisters can be fun, after you get used to them.”

  Jabari made a face. “How long does that take? We’ve had Nia for a long time and look at her!”

  “If you think Nia is bad, you should take a look at your Aunt Rissa, and she’s been around a whole lot longer.”

  “That’s mean.” Marlea stood, leaning down to kiss both of them. “Sisters are special, and you should both be glad to have them. Daddy loves Aunt Rissa a lot because she’s his sister and he will always love her, just like you’re going to love Nia for the rest of your life.”

  “That’s a long, long, long time.” Jabari frowned and raised his eyebrows. “Nia is a girl. Girls are…you know.”

  Marlea raised her brows and made the face back at her son. “I know, icky.”

  Nodding, Jabari repeated the word. “Icky.”

  “Hear that?” AJ laughed. “He learned that in preschool.”

  Marlea traced a finger over her son’s face, tenderly touching his brow, his nose, and his lips, making him smile. “Yeah, I can’t wait to see what he learns in kindergarten.”

  “Come on, little boy,” Mrs. Baldwin called from the door. “If you want to go to the market with me, let’s go.” Climbing down, the little boy ran for the door, then remembered his mother and father. Running back, he planted sloppy kisses on both of them and cupped his fingers at his mother’s ear. “Becept you, Mommy,” he whispered. “You’re not icky.”

  “I know.” When she smiled and winked, he squeezed his eyes closed for her. Opening his eyes, he matched his mother’s smile, then turned and ran, clattering down the hall behind the housekeeper.

  “Doing that two-eyed wink thing,” AJ chuckled.

  “That’s our firstborn, and it’s sweet,” Marlea sighed, pushing her fingers back into AJ’s hand and holding them there. “That’s what I want for Rissa and Dench. I want us to help them.”

  Reaching, AJ pulled her back into his lap and buried his face against her neck, inhaling her scent and absorbing the heat of her.

  “I’m serious, AJ. I really want to help.”

  “Yeah,” he murmured against the beat of her pulse. But how?

  “AJ, I suggested using a surrogate mother to carry a baby for Rissa and Dench.”

  He felt her draw breath and hold it tight. Where is this going?

  “You think that’s a good idea?”

  Still tense, Marlea released the breath and drew another. “For them, yes. Rissa wants a baby. She wants a child that shares her blood and Dench’s, and she can’t carry it. She needs an alternative, AJ, and she’s even trying to work through it in therapy.”

  AJ felt the quick and dirty thrill of anticipated dread run beneath his skin and tried to dismiss it. He held Marlea tighter. “Still can’t believe she went back.”

  “But she did. She went again yesterday, just like she promised that she would, and over time, the therapy will help. Now, at least, she’s thinking about a surrogate, if she and Dench don’t…can’t…”

  AJ’s dread gave up on subtlety and stomped through his soul wearing combat boots. The sudden ache he felt fully qualified as gut wrenching, and only intensified when Marlea stiffened in his arms.

  “She wants to try again, but if they can’t, then…I…”

  And he understood the words she wasn’t able to come right out and say. AJ’s hand went to her cheek, cupping, holding, pleading. “No, Silk. I don’t even want to hear this.”

  “Surrogates are not easy to find, and there are so many stories of women doing it for the money and taking families through all kinds of hell. Making it easier for them would be the right thing to do,” she said softly. “AJ, honey, it’s an offer that has to be made.”

  That voice, that tone, this depth of her—I wanted this part of her, he thought, hating the idea that she would even consider sharing herself like this. If she was fooling around with some man, at least I would know what I was up against, I could fight back. But not this…not even for Rissa and Dench.

  Marlea pushed her brows high and sighed. “Nothing is certain yet. She hasn’t even talked to Dench about it, but if it comes to that…” Her trusting brown eyes took a chance and found his. “I promised Rissa I would talk to you. It’s just giving them a chance, AJ.”

  Dread, full-blown, slithered into fear. “Is this what you were leading up to last night? Asking me about another baby? Marlea, this is crazy. We’ve got two small children to raise. Did you ever stop to think of how this might affect them?”

  “No, I…”

  “Don’t you think that maybe you should? How do you expect me to explain something like this?”

  “Why do you think you would have to do the explaining?” Confusion followed the sweep of anger in her gaze, but resolution was locked in the set of her mouth. “This is not about you, AJ. And it’s bigger than just our little family. We would all be in this together, and the kids would be fine.”

  “How can you say that?”

  “Say what?” Marlea swiped at the drops of perspiration she felt lining her upper lip. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean Rissa and Dench live fairly public lives, and so do we. How is it going to sound when the kids hear it? When my mother hears it? Jabari will be going to kindergarten soon—kids talk, they repeat things. How about when some kid walks up and says something like, ‘Your mommy is your cousin’s mommy, so is their daddy your uncle? Are your cousins your sister and brother?’ Our kids deserve better than that kind of confusion. It’s wrong.”

  Deliberately moving his hands, Marlea freed herself from AJ’s embrace and stood looking down at him. “I don’t know where this is coming from, AJ, but this craziness you’re coming up with is wrong and ridiculous. If I did become Rissa’s surrogate, would you try to make me wear a scarlet letter, too?”

  “Will it still be wrong and ridiculous when our kids are joining my crazy sister for family therapy? Think we’ll get a special group rate?” AJ followed her lead, standing to maximize the height difference. He couldn’t stop the fear from morphing into anger. “This is none of our damned business.”

  “Well, I’m making it our business, and don’t you call her crazy.” Marlea balled her fists and narrowed her eyes at him. How did this man who inspired such love and pas
sion in her manage to be this infuriating? “Don’t you dare call Rissa crazy. She’s hurt, vulnerable, and scared, but nowhere near crazy, and you know it. Maybe you could dredge up a little empathy if you had been the one carrying the child she lost.”

  “So now it takes a uterus to have common sense?” AJ threw his hands up and huffed. “Tell you one thing, wife of mine, if I had a uterus, I would keep it to myself. I wouldn’t be out there trying to share it.”

  “Maybe that’s why you didn’t get one,” Marlea muttered. Turning to the table, she refolded the newspaper and began to clear the dishes—anything to end the torture of talking to her husband.

  “Look,” he said, swallowing his anger. “Look, let’s just be reasonable.”

  “Now you’re going to dictate reason?” Marlea’s eyes cut him into thin slices. “Whatever.”

  AJ tried again. “Even if her eggs are viable and could be implanted in you, how could you carry a baby in your body for nine months and then give it away, just set it free, like a puppy or something, even for Rissa and Dench? Marlea, this is not a good idea, and I don’t want you to do it.”

  Her fingers fumbled her daughter’s pink sippy cup, splashing juice on the table. “Or what? Are you going to try to forbid me?”

  “Do I have to?”

  “Selfish,” Marlea whispered. “This is not even a real question yet. I only brought it up because I promised I would, and that’s the most selfish thing I’ve ever heard of from you or any other human being.”

  Turning from her, AJ threw up both hands and started from the room.

  “AJ.” Her voice was sharp and her head held high when he turned. “You are my husband, and I love you dearly. God knows I love you to a point of utter stupidity and I would probably follow you to the end of the earth for almost anything else, but you are not the boss of me.”

  Knowing that it was more than his long stride distancing him from her, he almost turned back. Then he heard her say, “When and if the time comes to make a decision, I’m going to be on Rissa’s side.”

  His hand shook when he reached for the door, but he opened it anyway, and managed not to slam it on his way out of the house. He stood on the small stone porch of his home, the home he’d made with her, without an idea in the world of what their next step would be. At a loss, he gazed up at the solid blue wall of cloudless summer sky.