Love Is Not Lost

by Nikki Bolvair

  “I'm so glad we're on the same page, Faith! This party will be just what you need," Sarah exclaimed.

  I whipped my head to her, my eyes wide and panicked. “W-w-what?”

  “Your seventeenth birthday party, Faith. This Tuesday we'll go do and some shopping to get ready for Friday.”

  I was speechless. In a matter of moments, while I had been distracted, Sarah had arranged a party for me. And we were going to go shopping. Like a mother-daughter shopping. I was suddenly freaking out!

  Sarah beamed and scooted out of her seat. “I need to go and talk to Rachel McGuire later today. With you and her kids off camping this weekend, she can help come up with ideas.” With that, she walked out of the kitchen, humming.

  I turned to Brady, who was looking at me from over his newspaper, amused. “What just happened?”

  He folded up his paper, leaned back and took a sip of his coffee, studying me.

  “Well?” I questioned once again, not sure how I had gotten roped up into a birthday party.

  A smile appeared on his lips as his eyes twinkled. “That's just my wife for you, but you would've known what she was up to if you had been listening and not slipping HotShot bacon.”

  My face colored in embarrassment. Busted! I glanced down to the mutt who was looking towards me, his eyes begging for more. I pouted, and then glanced back up at Brady. “You win.”

  He grunted. “Always do.”

  A knock sounded at the front door, followed by creaking, and a masculine voice calling out.

  “Hello?”

  Chapter 13

  “Is anyone home? Daniels, it's time to go!”

  I rushed towards the front door, only to find Kayden standing in the entryway. When he saw me, his face lit up.

  “Hey, you ready?” he questioned, his eyes smiling as he made his way towards me.

  “Yep,” I pointed to my bags but Kayden didn't pause. He gave my stuff a quick glance but still came towards me, grinning. My heart leapt when I saw his smile, and I wondered what in the world he was doing. I took a step back when he got near, unsure of his actions, but I wasn't quick enough. His arm came up and around my shoulders as he pulled me into his hug. My face was pressed against the hard muscle of his chest as both arms held me captive.

  “We're going to have so much fun!” he laughed, excited about the campout. His chest rumbled as he spoke, and I shivered, liking the sensation. I wrapped my trapped arms around him and gave into the affection.

  “I hope so,” I answered back as I sighed, liking the warmth.

  He let go and caught my hand to pull me towards the front door. He stopped briefly to grab my stuff before straightening with a grin, hand on the knob. “Come on, let's go.”

  “Wait!” I laughed. He turned to me, not understanding as I pointed towards the kitchen behind me. “I need to say goodbye.”

  “Oh, yeah,” he said, shaking his head with a sheepish smile. “I guess I'm just so geared up to go that I didn't think.” Kayden then waved to someone behind me, and I turned around to see Brady leaning against the wall with his arms folded.

  “Hi, Kayden,” Brady stated as his eyebrows dipped downwards.

  “Hey, Officer Brady," Kayden answered back, still holding my hand and Brady took notice.

  “I thought Raina was taking Daniels along with her friend Wendy,” he questioned, his eyes going between the two of us.

  I saw Kayden's grin falter as we both heard the undercurrent in Brady’s tone. I panicked.

  Oh hell no, I thought as I turned my eyes to his, pleading. Surely, he wouldn't. A slow smile crept up on his face when he directed his next question to me.

  “Are you still needing help with birth—”

  I ripped open the front door, shoved a surprised Kayden out of the house and slammed the door before turning to glare at Brady.

  “—control,” he finished, his eyes full of mirth. “Good reflexes, Daniels.”

  “Really? Are you freaking serious?" I shrieked as I stomped towards him.

  He turned around and headed back into the kitchen, singing, “Turnabout's fair play. I win.”

  I growled at him. “You're going down, Brady.”

  “Good luck with that, honey.”

  “Can I come back in now?” Kayden yelled from the front door.

  “No!” I called out while Brady, the traitor, invited the boy back in.

  “Yes, Kayden! Please come into the kitchen. We need to have a talk about flowers, bees, and pollination.”

  I groaned, face-palming. When I looked up, Kayden had come into the kitchen with a bewildered look on his face.

  “Ah...what?”

  Brady broke out into the most evil grin. “I'm glad you're naïve about the subject. Let me enlighten you on what will happen if my beautiful flower gets pollinated.”

  Understanding dawned on him, and as panic set in, he glanced at me for a save, but I was too busy trying to make my own get-a-way.

  “Take a seat, son.”

  I glanced down towards HotShot, but he seemed disinterested with the decidedly uncomfortable situation.

  “I think...” I began as I stepped backwards and pointed towards the stairs, “I think I forgot a few things...”

  I nodded, agreeing with myself. Kayden eyes grew wide when he realized I was leaving him to fend for himself. It was his own fault. I’d told him not to come in. “Yep, stuff. I'm just going to head upstairs...right now. Good luck.” I didn't even wait, I booked it outta there.

  Kayden was a big boy; he could handle this.

  As I trotted up those stairs, I heard Brady ask, “How much do you like living?”

  ***

  When I reached my room, I tried to think of anything that I might have forgotten. I pitied Kayden at the moment but I also couldn't help the kernel of warmth that spread through me. Brady was attempting to take care of me, being a father.

  I stood in my room searching for anything, that I could take back downstairs with me so that I wouldn’t look like a liar, but I was coming up empty. I decided to grab a notebook and pen to shove in my bag for collateral evidence. I heard my door creak open and quickly turned around.

  Sarah stood there at the threshold of the doorway, unsure if she should enter. I was confused by her reservation since she hadn’t had any a few days ago.

  “Sarah?” I prompted as I noticed she was holding a piece of paper in her hand. She obviously wanted to talk.

  “I found this in the files we received when your guardianship was granted," she explained as she stepped towards me, holding out a photograph that had apparently seen better days.

  I took it from her and smoothed out the bent edges as I realized what it was.

  “I thought...I thought you might want it," she continued cautiously, probably unsure how I would respond. “Tom told me about last night. What you both talked about, and when I saw this, I knew you needed to have it.”

  I took in every feature, every line of the faces that stared back at me from the picture, remembering.

  My parents had just bought a new car, and we had taken a picture beside it. An exciting day for them because the car was brand-spanking new. They had only bought used ones before, so the new station wagon we all crowded around was a big deal.

  That day was also a special for my brother. He had inherited the old one.

  The photo I was holding was the last one taken of my family. It was back when we were happy. When things were less complicated. Silent tears slipped down my cheeks, and my nose started to burn, but I wasn't really crying. It was more of a release of pressure, soothing in a way.

  When Sarah saw my tears, she came over and put an arm around me.

  “May I see?" she asked softly. I nodded as she took the picture from my hand. “I didn't know you had a brother, but when Brady talked to me last night, about what you told him, I searched through your file and found this in between a couple of papers.”

  She handed the photo back, and I nodded, wiping my nose on my sleeve. “Tha
nk you. You know...for all that you do for me.”

  She hugged me to her side, “I want to tell you something, and I don't know if this is the right time, but I'm going to tell you anyways because of the conversation last night.” She took a deep breath as if preparing herself for a battle. “Tom and I lived a couple blocks away from you. I knew about the nightly calls to your house, but Tom never mentioned a child. That was because he never knew. None of us did. If we had, Tom would have done something. It wasn't until he got to your home that night and saw you. He fell apart and was so scared that you weren't going to make it. He blames himself. He had gone to your home multiple times, not knowing. People argue all the time drunk. Where were you, Faith? Where were you each time a cruiser would come to your house?”

  “In the closet,” I told her, embarrassed and ashamed. “I didn't want to see them like that, and I was scared. I didn't want to be taken away.”

  She nodded, slowly, understandingly. “And what made you come out that night?”

  My heart thumped hard in my chest as I went back to that night. “He called her on his way home. I knew he did because she hit the bottle hard after she'd hung up. He was already angry when he opened the door with a grocery bag full of beer and whiskey. They never drank before my brother died. That night, both of them were going at it. All the yelling," I whispered. “When my father screamed about it being her fault, my mother’s, that my brother had died - asking her 'how could she live with herself', I worried that he might actually harm her. Then I heard it, the sound of flesh hitting flesh. My mother crying. I was terrified for her, and for me. I got out of bed and raced out there, to the living room. She was sobbing, holding her cheek.” I stared at my bed, numb. “She kept saying. 'I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry! It's all my fault’. I had no idea what she meant. It wasn't her fault my brother died. He slapped her again. Her head had whipped back, and she lost her balance. She hit her head against the sharp corner of the coffee table. When I heard the crack, my heart felt like it had stopped.

  “I had screamed at my father. ‘How could you?! How could you?!' Over and over again. I was so scared. He looked insane...his eyes.” I shook my head. “My world was falling apart, and all I saw was angry, bloodshot eyes, wide, wild and crazy. I couldn’t reason with him, he wouldn’t listen. There was so much blood. It was all over the place.” I felt almost disconnected as I continued, floating away to protect myself. I couldn't help the tears that spilled over.

  “I watched the light fade out of her eyes, Sarah. My mother was dying. I was so focused on her that I never saw him coming at me. His hate. His pain.”

  I grabbed Sarah's hand for comfort and held tight. “It must have been too much for him to handle because my father struck out again, hurting me. I’m sure that he had loved me once, but he hit me. He had never laid a hand on us before. It was always yelling and things being smashed.” I took a bracing breath. “After that, nothing. I woke up in so much pain with Brady standing over me. I had no idea that I was an orphan until three days later when CPS came to the hospital.”

  Chapter 14

  After my emotional talk with Sarah with her comforting me, she asked me if I was ok. Told me that if I wanted to, I could ditch the campout and have a spa day with her.

  Even though the offer was tempting, I declined. It was selfish of me, but I wanted the comfort of the McGuire brothers more than hers. It wasn't that I didn't like her, it was the sheer fact that if I stayed, the next morning she would try to get me to go jogging with her. It was an every morning ritual for her, and I had evaded being dragged along for as long as I could. I didn't want to ruin my good luck.

  I slid the photo into the bag and raced downstairs to see Kayden there waiting for me. Brady was nowhere in sight. He grinned when he saw me. His happy-go-lucky disposition so infectious that one of my own curled at my mouth. When I drew closer, his smile faltered. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and strode over to me with concern.

  "What happened, Daniels?" He didn't hesitate. His arms came around me tucking me into his body and rubbing my back. "What's wrong?"

  I breathed in his scent as my arms hugged him close. I could stay there all day. Wrapped up in his comfort, but I couldn't. I wanted to go camping and have fun. So I did what I had to and dismissed my emotions. "I just had a memory pop up, but I'm ok now."

  "You sure? Do you need—"

  "I'm fine, Kayden," I whispered to him. I stayed there for a second longer before drawing back and letting a forced smile materialize. "How did you fare with Brady?"

  His smile was back as he pointed a finger at me, giving me a mock glare. "You are so busted."

  A real smile crept in, and I couldn't help the giggle that escaped. "How far did he get into the whole stupid flower analogy? Because I could tell he was thinking on his feet with that one."

  He rolled his eyes and grabbed my hand to pull me to the door. "You don't want to know."

  Outside was a line-up of vehicles. Parked in the McGuire's driveway was Tyler's Jeep, with a trailer attached to it and two four-wheelers loaded, one in front of the other.

  Sitting on the street was the blue truck that I’d had the pleasure of sleeping in the back of, and a charcoal color SUV with the same four-wheeler set up in the back. In front of my house sat another truck, but this one was silver, and it had a slightly smaller trailer with another four-wheeler, although it looked different than the others. Instead of being a single seat and open, it looked more like an over glorified golf cart, but even that description wasn't entirely accurate. With a roof that looked more like a cage on top and the sides open. It had four seats and 'oh crap bars' galore. It looked so... powerful. Dangerous. Even, deadly.

  And it was going to be mine.

  I glanced over to Kayden, who had been observing me and gave him a big grin. In one word, he shot my dreams into pieces. "No."

  I glared at him and pouted. "Yes."

  "That's Peter's baby. He doesn't let anyone drive it. He only lets people ride. There's no way he'd give in to you." By this time, we had reached his house.

  I twisted my lips in annoyance as I turned to look at the monster across the street. "Never say never."

  "Come on, Daniels! You're riding with us!" a voice called out from the SUV. Raina was hanging out the driver side window, waving to me.

  "No, she's not!" Kayden called back before I could, his hand tightening around mine. "We’ve already talked about this!"

  A head popped up beside Raina's and Wendy yelled, "You guys might have but we sure didn't! Hurry up, Daniels!"

  "Sorry! You snooze, you lose!" Kayden jested back, not releasing me.

  "Can I speak?" I blurted out, unsure if this was really an argument or just siblings playing around.

  "NO!" all of them yelled at the same time. I huffed.

  "You guys get her all the time, Kayden! It's our turn!" Raina pouted.

  "Wendy!" someone yelled behind us. I turned and saw Peter, standing just outside the doorway to the McGuire’s house. He was pointing to his silver truck. "You're with me, baby."

  "What? No! I wanted to ride with Raina," she complained. I had to admit this was getting interesting.

  "That's going to be kind of hard since Kane has already called your spot in the front seat."

  "It's my SUV!" Raina argued.

  Kane made his way out of the house along with Tyler and Lincoln, joining in on the ‘discussion’.

  "Babe," Kane said in a rough voice that I've never heard before. "We are going to be alone, in the middle of nowhere, without any parentals around and I still can't sleep with my arms wrapped around your sweet body. Because of this, I am driving with you, and you are not going to argue with me. I will hold your hand the whole way there and kiss you whenever I want. Capiche?"

  "Yes," she squeaked as she looked at him, her face going red.

  I started to fan my face at Kane's hotness but Lincoln walked over and batted my hand down. Who knew mild Kane was a dominant at heart?

  As quick as l
ightning, I found myself over one of the brothers’ shoulders and my backside given a tap in soft punishment for my actions. I laughed.

  “Put her down, Lincoln! You're going to hurt her," Tyler exclaimed, coming towards us but his brother was on the move with me. I smacked his backside in retribution, but he ignored it. “You're going to have fun riding with us,” he told me as he walked. With all the blood rushing to my head, I slid both hands into Linc's back pockets in an effort to hold myself up. I felt his buns flexing and couldn't help myself. I gave his butt a little pinch.

  “Ahh!” he yelled as he arched his hips forward, away from my pinching fingers, but I grinned. My hands weren't going anywhere.

  “What happened?” Tyler called, not far behind. ”Don’t drop her!”

  “The brat pinched me,” he told them before he gave my butt a good swat. It would have stung if I hadn't been wearing jeans.

  “Hey!”

  “You started it.”

  He opened the passenger door of the blue truck with me still hanging and deposited me inside.

  I leaned back to look at his face. He was close and was grinning.

  “You get to ride with us," he stated, satisfied. Apparently they weren’t going to let me get away with riding with someone else.

  “What makes you think you're the boss?” I sassed back, enjoying our little banter.

  Lincoln lifted one shoulder. “Because I can.” His eyes were twinkling.

  He made sure I was buckled in before he shut the door, working his way around the truck to get in the back while Kayden jumped into the driver's seat. Tyler came to my window, ignoring the fact that Kayden’s door had been closer. My window rolled down, courtesy of Kayden, and Tyler stuck his head inside as he rested his arms on my door.

  He looked over to his brother giving him an intense stare. “You know the route, right Kayden?”

  Kayden grabbed a piece of paper from the dash and waved it at his brother with a grin. “Yep, right here.”

  He nodded. “I'll make sure the others have it too before we head off. We'll probably stop somewhere to gas up again.