Code Red

by Amy Noelle

  “Meetings, gross.” Well, I had to say something, since he was looking at me all expectantly. And I really had nothing to say other than that I wanted to go home, but I didn’t want to be rude in case I needed to date him later.

  “Hey, at least escaping this one let me run into you.”

  That was actually kind of cute. Maybe going out with him wouldn’t kill me. I could keep him in reserve, at least.

  “Yeah, it’s good to see you,” I said. It would be better to see him on another day, but at least he was a nice person. I bet he wouldn’t throw his parents in my face and then act like nothing happened all day long.

  “I was beginning to wonder if you were avoiding me.”

  Now I felt like an even bigger bitch. But, it wasn’t the first time and wouldn’t be the last. I knew what I was. Usually. “Not at all. I’ve just been busy and, honestly, the instant I get done with work, I want to get the heck out of the office for the day, you know?”

  “I get it. There’s no place like home, right?” My heart yearned for home, and I took a step toward the elevator.

  “Definitely. I can’t wait to get in and veg out.”

  “I bet. Well, I won’t keep you, then.” Thank God for small favors. But just as I sighed in relief, I heard the double doors open as Derek said, “What are you doing on Friday night? I was thinking we could finally cash in that rain check.”

  Damn. Why had I agreed to a rain check? “Oh, I . . .”

  “She doesn’t go out on Friday nights, do you, Nicole?”

  Oh shit. I turned around, and there was Joshua with a tight smile on his face. He was staring at me, and I felt like shrinking away from the heat I saw in his narrowed eyes.

  “Well, you see . . .”

  “Friday’s her special night, but I bet if you asked for Saturday, she’d say yes. Wouldn’t you, Nicole?”

  “Oh,” Derek said. “Well, yeah, I could do Saturday instead. I’m sorry, I’m Derek Myers. And you are?”

  Joshua held out a hand and the two men shook while I tried to make sense of what in the hell was happening. Did he just pimp me out? After he put the ball in my court? He was that over me that he was accepting dates for me?

  “I’m Josh Daniels, Nicole’s new writing partner.”

  “Oh, I see.” Derek glanced between the two of us, and I was quite sure he didn’t see. I sure didn’t. “So, Saturday, then? Dinner?”

  I had no idea what to do. They’d decided for me, hadn’t they? I nodded mutely, and he grinned and pulled a card out of his wallet. “Here, this has my cell. Call me and we’ll finalize plans.”

  “Okay.” I took it between fingers that felt detached from my body.

  “It was nice meeting you, Josh. See you soon, Nicole! I guess I should get back in before they notice I’m gone.”

  Joshua said good-bye and Derek disappeared. I stood there wondering if I was imagining things.

  “I hope you have a good time,” Joshua said tightly, walking past me and heading down the hall.

  I hurried after him and grabbed his arm. “What was that?”

  “That appeared to be you accepting a date with Derek,” he said, his voice dripping with anger. He stabbed the elevator button and turned away from me.

  I pushed on his shoulder. “No, that was you accepting a date for me. What gave you the right to do that?”

  He laughed, but it was not one of his happy, sexy laughs. It was a hard, mean one that chilled me. “You say you don’t want to try with me, and I accept it. I leave you alone, I don’t push you on it, and you get mad and storm out here to make a date with Derek the insurance guy?”

  The elevator doors opened, and he stepped in and tried to press the button, but I hurried in after him. “I didn’t want to go out with him, okay? He asks me out all the time, and I always say no. I was doing just that when you answered for me, like the presumptuous jerk you are. How dare you dictate what I do?” First that little stunt in the office, and now this?

  “Why?” He took a step toward me.

  I took a step back and hit the side of the elevator. “Why what?”

  “Why haven’t you gone out with him?”

  “What business is that of yours? What does that even have to do with anything?”

  “I’m trying to figure you out!” He raised his arms and I watched in fascination as he finally snapped. I knew all his patience with me had to be a front. “I see you in a bar flirting with a guy that reminds me of my Uncle Jerry, Derek’s attractive enough, but you turn him down, and you have a wall between the two of us that even King Kong couldn’t climb, so what gives? What is your deal?”

  The elevator doors opened, and he gestured for me to step out into the lobby. Before I could walk away, he took my arm. “Nic, will you talk to me?”

  “You really want me to explain myself when you just made a date for me? Not a date with me, oh no! Not after you’ve had me all tied up in knots since the moment I laid eyes on you. Am I messed up, Josh? Yes, I suppose I am. I have reasons for that, and they’re my reasons and my concerns and not for you to worry your pretty little head about, especially not now. Instead of giving me the time you promised, instead of not pushing me like you said you wouldn’t, you pushed me right at another guy. So what if I have problems? So do you!” I was yelling at him in the middle of the lobby. We were getting a few glances, but thankfully the place was still pretty empty, though it wouldn’t be for much longer.

  “Maybe I do. I’ve never . . .” He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry I assumed. I’m sorry I acted like a jerk, and I’m sorry I pushed you when I said I wouldn’t. It won’t happen again. Can we just put everything aside and try to be coworkers and maybe friends?” He gave me a shaky smile, and I felt my heart crack in two.

  “If that’s what you want,” I said. It wasn’t what I wanted, but we were such a mess already, and we hadn’t even pursued whatever there was between us. How much worse would it be if we went ahead?

  “Like you said, it’s for the best.”

  Right. For the best. I nodded. “Okay.”

  “Goodnight, Nicole.”

  “Goodnight, Josh.” He walked away and I fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. It was for the best. It would be, anyway. One day.

  Chapter 14

  My friends must have heard something in the tone of my voice when I called, because Kim and Jen came running, Mandy pulled up Skype, and Ashley joined us through speakerphone. Technology may be the bane of my existence right now—well, along with a certain blue-eyed man—but it certainly made life easier a lot of the time.

  Jen had her arms wrapped around me, and Kim held my hand as I cried and told them every single thing that happened. The high I’d felt from knowing he wanted me, even if I didn’t want to pursue it, the confusion over his actions all day long, and finally the pain of him walking away. I knew I didn’t have a right to that pain—I’d brought it on myself—but you can’t help feeling what you feel. The relief I’d thought I’d have once things were resolved between us just wouldn’t come.

  “So, basically, the Code Red worked without us even doing anything,” Ashley said, pretty much summing it up.

  “Yeah, all I had to do was be me and it drove him away, of course.”

  “Bullshit,” Kim said. “You are who he’s attracted to. You are the girl he followed to a bar just a couple of nights ago. You’re the one he told about his parents. That doesn’t turn off just because he saw you talking to some guy. If anything, it just shows how much he wants you.”

  I snorted and swiped at the tears falling down my face. “Oh yeah, he wants me so much he accepted a date for me! Who does that?”

  “Somebody nearly as crazy as you are,” Mandy said. Kim shot a fierce look at Mandy’s image on the computer screen, and Mandy shrank back a bit, even though she was safely miles away. “I just meant he overreacted just like she’s prone to do. They’re well suited.”

  “Oh yeah, both of us going crazy on one another. That�
�s a match made in heaven,” I muttered, pissed at myself, at him, and at everybody else just for existing right then.

  “Actually, it is,” Kim said. I stared at her through blurry eyes. “I’m just saying, you could never be with a guy who didn’t fight with you, who didn’t challenge you, and who didn’t try to fight through those walls you have up. That’s why you haven’t dated anybody at all. The guys you hook up with would let you walk all over them, and you’d never respect them at all.”

  Maybe she had a point. I did tend to get bored with the guys I picked up at bars and such. “It doesn’t matter, though. The Code Red worked, despite you all undermining me at every turn. I should be happy.”

  Mandy laughed. “When did the Code Red ever really work? Ashley, Kim, and I married our last Code Reds. There’s a reason why we call the thing, and it’s because we’re scared. We know we want that man more than anyone, and we try to run away. Lucky for us, they didn’t let us. We didn’t let us. Who set me up to run into Kurt at the library less than a week after I called Code Red?”

  I shrugged and Kim poked me. “You and I did. We could see how into the guy she was, and we knew he was a perfect fit for her, so we got them in the same place and let nature take its course. And you and Ashley didn’t exactly discourage me from going after Brian.”

  “He was in law school and gorgeous. You’d have been a fool not to,” I said.

  “And who told Rick about the art exhibit I was going to?” Ashley asked. I could hear the amusement in her tone. “I believe that was you and Jen.”

  How dare they use my actions against me when I was feeling sorry for myself? “The Code Red has worked before. What about that professor who wanted to bone you?” I asked Kim.

  “God, he was hot,” she said and sighed. “And yes, that was one Code Red that needed to work. Thanks for going to class with me all semester to make sure I didn’t sleep with him.”

  I smiled just thinking about it. “I was an excellent cockblocker.”

  “Yes, you were,” Kim agreed, laughing. “He’d ask me to stay after class, and you’d round up people for an impromptu study session. I’m pretty sure he wanted to have you killed.”

  I laughed along with them. This was why I called them. Because I loved them all, even when I didn’t like them very much for telling me things I didn’t want to hear. “Yeah, well, Brian should give me a finder’s fee or something, for keeping you free and encouraging you to break Code Red with him. All of your husbands owe me.”

  “Well, we’re trying to pay it back,” Ashley said. “This is the first guy I’ve ever seen you worked up about. That’s why we want him for you.” I really must be a pathetic mess if Ash was being supportive instead of busting my balls like she usually did.

  “Well, I want him for me, but the men in my life might protest a little bit,” Mandy said.

  I glared at her face on the screen and jabbed a finger at her. “You’d better cut that shit out.”

  “Yeah, Mandy, if she does come to her senses and go after Josh, you’re putting her in an uncomfortable position for future group gatherings,” Ash said.

  “I can’t help it. He’s the handsomest guy I’ve ever seen this side of a movie screen. Kurt even agrees he’s attractive, just in case you think I’m hiding my little crush. I can’t have him, but I damn well want her to have him so I can bask in his presence now and then.”

  I had to laugh. “You’re such a weirdo pervert.”

  “And proud of it. I promise if you give in and have sex with him, I won’t ask too many questions. Though if you wanted to film it for commemorative purposes, I wouldn’t protest.”

  “Ew, gross! Even if I did film it, I wouldn’t show it to you.” How I could joke about sex with Josh was a testament to the magic of my girls.

  “You’re a cruel woman, Nicole Magette. I don’t know if I want to be your friend any more.”

  “Then you won’t get to bask,” Jen said. She’d been abnormally quiet, and I had a feeling I knew why.

  “You don’t have to feel bad, Jen,” I said. “I’m glad you’re giving Ryan a shot.” Because she was my best friend and because we understood each other better than just about anybody, I told her the truth. “I admit I’m jealous, but I hope you know I am truly happy for you.”

  She hugged me. “I know. I wish it were easier for you, but I do think you’re making it harder than it needs to be. Just focus on what he said earlier, about his parents and his willingness to move if it gets to that point. You’re jumping the gun on every side, you know?”

  “I am not,” I said, even though it was only for form’s sake. I knew she was right. They all were. Now that I was calmer, I was starting to see that. “I don’t think it’s wrong of me to consider all the ‘what-ifs’ before I get involved with a coworker. I’m being smart.”

  “You’re being a coward,” Kim said, and I whipped my head around to face her. “I’m sorry, but that’s really what it’s all about, and we’re telling you we’ve been there. I was scared shitless of Brian. I was afraid he’d distract me from my path, remember? You’re afraid letting Josh in is going to tear down those very well-crafted walls you’ve constructed around yourself.” She squeezed my hand. “I know they’ve protected you by keeping the bad out, but can you honestly tell me they’ve let the good in? You’re robbing yourself of a life, Nic, and I hate to see that.”

  “I’m happy,” I said. That earned a derisive cough from Kim and laughs from the other three. “What? I am! I like my life. It’s structured and uncomplicated and . . .”

  “Boring,” Ashley said. “You’re so busy keeping to your schedules that you rarely ever live at all. And don’t tell me your Saturday bar bangs make you happy. Maybe you’re satisfied for a few minutes, but you’re not happy.”

  “Damn, why don’t you tell me how you really feel?”

  “It’s called tough love, bitch. Get with the program,” she said. “We’re trying to help you the best we can. If you really want to accept that it’s over before it’s begun with you and Josh, we’ll support you, because that’s what we do. But if you want us to be happy that you’re letting something potentially amazing slip away, well, we’re not doing that. And we’re not going to keep quiet about it either. That’s not what real friends do.”

  I sighed and leaned my head against Jen. The cats, having sensed men were not welcome in my world today, had both deserted me, so I had to snuggle with her. “You know I love you guys. And I appreciate you being here with me.”

  “Always,” Mandy said. “We promised each other no matter what happened, we’d always be there when one of us needed it.” And they’d kept it, even though they had lives and husbands and a kid. Things were different, but I could still depend on them to be there for me, even if it was over the phone or computer. “So we’re here. Now what are you going to do?”

  That was the million-dollar question, wasn’t it? “It might be out of my hands. He’s already decided I’m not worth the effort, and I can’t blame him.”

  Kim flicked my leg, and I scowled at her. There she was in a burgundy power suit, looking like she could be the CEO of some Fortune 500 company, and she was flicking me like we were five.

  “If he really decided that based on one bad day with you, then he’s not worth it, but I don’t think that’s the case. You are worth it and a lot more. Sometimes I don’t think you remember just how fabulous you are. You’ve set your sights so low when it comes to men that you have no concept of what a beautiful, smart, funny, and kind person you are.”

  I tried to brush that off, but she flicked my leg again. “Ow, damn it! Cut that out!”

  “No,” she said with a cheeky smile. “I’ll flick you when you need to be flicked.”

  “More like she needs to be fucked,” Mandy said, and everybody cracked up. “Oh, shit. My kid’s in the room. I’m a crappy mom.”

  “You said shit, too,” I pointed out, and she sighed.

  “I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I’m going to
slip around him, but the F-word is off limits, even though it’s completely true. That’s what you need. With Josh. And a video camera. Or at least a phone. I’ll stay quiet . . . mostly.”

  “Gross.” But she did make me laugh.

  “Getting back on track,” Kim said, shaking her head. “You may be a little crazy, you may be a lot of work, and the right man has to put in the effort. It sounds to me like Josh was willing to, at least until he saw you with Derek.”

  That figured. Stupid Derek that I had a date with on Saturday night. “Why in the hell did I have to run into him today of all days?” Karma, of course. I’d considered going out with him to drive Josh out of my head, and now I was—just not the way I’d planned. “This sucks. He’s giving up, just like I wanted.”

  “But you don’t want him to,” Jen said.

  “Not really. I thought I did, until he did, if that makes sense.”

  “Sadly, it does. If you want, I could talk to Ryan and . . .”

  I sat up and shook my head emphatically. “There is no way in hell we’re going to act all juvenile and junior-high-schoolish and have your boy ask my boy if he’ll go to the dance with me! You and Ryan need to stay about you and Ryan. Josh and I will figure it out or not on our own.”

  “All right, calm down,” Jen said as she patted my back and shot a look at Kim, who shook her head.

  “Remember, your stubbornness is what got you in this situation in the first place. If you would have just admitted you liked him earlier today, none of this would have happened. So don’t turn down a suggestion just because you think it makes you look like a kid. You’re acting like one, after all.”