The Unbelievable Mr Brownstone Omnibus

by Michael Anderle

  A Currus car pulled into the parking lot and pulled to a stop. A moment later, Alison exited with her suitcase and a smile on her face.

  Time to see how everything’s gonna go. She’s been so pissed with me lately, and I don’t want to start off summer vacation with another fight. She looks happy though.

  James hopped out of his truck and headed her way. The Currus sped away from the parking lot guided by its inscrutable combination of magic and technology, leaving the bounty hunter to face his greatest opponent in weeks—his teenage daughter.

  The bounty hunter blew out a breath and stopped in front of the girl, wondering what he should say, or if he should even be the first one to talk. They’d talked since her last major rage attack, but she’d made it very clear she wasn’t happy with James’ foray into bounty hunting pay-per-view, and she’d declared some of his other decisions “boneheaded and stupid.”

  I stand by what I did. If she wants to talk about it, we can discuss how things didn’t go the way I planned, but I’m not gonna act like it was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. I’m the adult here, and I’m the professional bounty hunter.

  Alison stood in the parking lot for a few seconds before letting go of her suitcase and rushing over to James. She wrapped her thin arms around him in a loving hug.

  Relief spread through the bounty hunter. He’d half-expected her to channel her inner Shay and curse him out first thing. He could understand her frustration, but she also needed to understand who he was and what he did. It wasn’t like he was going to suddenly stop being a bounty hunter because he had a girlfriend and a kid. If anything, he needed to be stronger to make sure he could protect the people he cared about.

  “I’m so glad to be home,” Alison murmured into his chest, her arms still around him. “I know we’ve seen each other on parents’ weekends, but it’s been too long since we could really just sit and relax, you know?”

  James smiled and patted her head. “I’m glad you’re home too, kid. I know that school is good for you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss you every day you’re gone.”

  Alison pulled away and grabbed her suitcase. “Are you mad that I made you pick me up here? I know it’s kind of a weird thing, but I just want you to get used to me being a little more independent, and I thought this was a good way to do it halfway without giving you a complete heart attack.”

  He shrugged. “I get that you’re getting older, and you’ve been going to a fancy magic school, and all that shi—stuff. I also get that you want your independence, but I don’t see why you couldn’t just have taken the car right to the house. I mean you came across the country by yourself, so why make me come and get you here?”

  James glanced at the restaurant. A few people had their phones out and were taking pictures of him through the window—the annoying price of fame.

  “Maybe I wanted you a little uncomfortable to drive the point home.” The teen grinned. “Plus, I thought I’d want some roast beef, but now suddenly I don’t.” She laughed. “I’m a little hungry, but I can wait.”

  They made their way to the F-350. James hurried to the passenger side to open the front and back doors. He grabbed Alison’s suitcase and tossed it in the back seat before closing the back door, extending his hand to help the girl into the front.

  Alison waved him off. “I remember the truck, and things aren’t the same as the last time I was in LA.”

  “You’re still blind.”

  “But my energy sight’s improved a lot. You’ve seen me at school. More magic has made things easier for me.” She shrugged. “You’re just going to have to get used to that.”

  James grunted. “That school is different than LA. It’s filled with a bunch of people who want to help you. This is a city, where people are assholes and don’t want to help anyone. They don’t care about anyone but themselves.”

  Alison laughed. “You’re more dramatic than some of the theater kids I know.” She hopped into the truck without any hesitation or difficulty and closed the door. “See? I’m fine. No big deal.”

  James circled around the other side and stepped up to his seat. “Just saying, things aren’t always safe. Keep that in mind.” He glanced at her. “Do you still have your Aegis Pendant?”

  He sucked in a breath. It wouldn’t be easy to replace the artifact, but he’d do what he needed to protect Alison.

  The teen pulled the pendant out from under her shirt. “Yes, I do, but I’m not the person who is doing dangerous bounties or getting jumped by Drow thugs. You made a promise to me, so the real question is, do you have your amulet?”

  The bounty hunter retrieved the inactive artifact from under his shirt. “Yeah, I do. I’m slow sometimes, but not stupid.” He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. “And I always keep my promises.”

  James had thought about messing with Alison and claiming he didn’t have the amulet, but the girl could detect lies. That made the whole thing pointless.

  She might be able to detect lies, but she still can’t read my thoughts. Thank God for that. I’m not completely outmatched yet.

  A small dagger of guilt stabbed James. Alison knew about the amulet, but she didn’t know everything about it, including its alien origin or even the fact that it seemed to be intelligent. Fortunately, she also hadn’t asked. He, on the other hand, knew everything about her half-Drow heritage and even controlled her wish.

  It’s for her own good. She already worries way too fucking much about me. The last thing I need to do is saddle her with more of my weird-ass baggage.

  I’m the adult here, and she’s the kid who’s had to deal with losing her mom and a sonofabitch father who sold out her mom to the Harriken and was even willing to send Alison to them.

  James shook his head. That was the past. He needed to focus on having a good time with her this summer. “How was your ride?”

  Alison shrugged. “Oh, it was fine. I spent less time on that train than you spent coming to pick me up.” She smiled.

  “And you didn’t have any trouble? You don’t always tell people you’re blind, even when you should.” James frowned and imagined going to the train station and having a couple of intense conversations with assholes who messed with his daughter.

  Alison laughed. “It wasn’t that hard. Just took the bus from the school. Everyone was fine and nice. It’s not like Virginia is some warzone crawling with bounties and Drow assassins, Dad.” She rolled her eyes. “Apparently unlike LA.”

  James shook his head. “I just don’t know if it was a good idea to let you travel by yourself, even with you being better at magic. What if the Drow come after you when I’m not around, or you’re not at the school?”

  “You kicked their asses, and I doubt they’re coming back anytime soon. We can just relax and have a good summer, you know? I know you’re not going to take off work the entire time, but I’m hoping we still can do a lot together.”

  He spared her a glance accompanied by a faint smile. “Oh, don’t worry. I’m gonna make sure we spend all sorts of time together. We’ve got months to spend together, and I want to make sure it’s all memorable.”

  Alison beamed. “Good.”

  “Well, you said you’re not hungry for roast beef, but what about food in an hour? Shay said she’d be landing soon and coming in an hour. We could go get some pizza then.”

  “Not barbeque?” Alison turned to look at him as if confirming he was telling the truth.

  “This is about you, not me.” James shrugged. “Shay’s coming back and I figured pizza would work for her, but we can do barbeque if you want.”

  Alison laughed. “I like barbeque, but not as much as you. Let’s do pizza.”

  Yev took several breaths. Being consul in Los Angeles had always been a stressful position, but in recent months, the damned Drow had pushed him to his absolute limit. He’d thought they were done with their idiotic and blunt machinations, but the imminent arrival of one of the king’s personal advisors suggested that something mor
e serious and painful was coming the consul’s way.

  Damned Drow. You should have just left well enough alone. Now you’ve complicated things for us in this city. Are you trying to start a war? You’re worse than Rhazdon, in a way.

  Faint music drifted in the air. The portal was coming.

  A bright line sliced through the air in front of his desk and a portal spread out from the line, an ornate council chamber from the king’s castle on the other side. The Light Elf official stepped through the gateway to Earth with a pinched expression on his face as if he were in the last place he wanted to be.

  The official sighed. “It feels different even just standing here on Earth. I should have known. I can only imagine getting used to the smell.”

  The beauty of the elegant, musical Light Elf language was not lost on Yev. Even though he was far from the only Light Elf in the consulate, he spent far too much of his day not speaking his own language, especially with all the forced interactions with humans of late.

  Yev stood out of respect. “And this is the first time you’ve visited Earth?”

  “Yes. I’ve seen little reason to.” The official sat in the chair in front of Yev’s desk. “The necessity of what might come in the future isn’t the same as the necessity of now. I suppose those like you will have an advantage.”

  The consul nodded and sat. “This planet has its charms. I don’t know if you’d find most of them in this city, though. It’s a chaotic and often dangerous place. Humans have handled the return of magic…poorly in many cases, and LA continues to prove that each day.”

  “I can imagine.” The other elf smirked. “Before we continue, I want to say that you’ve done well. Let me make that clear.

  “Thank you.”

  The official nodded. “You’re welcome. The king understands your efforts, as does everyone of importance. The plans of the Drow will likely continue, but for now, the damage has been contained to their reputation and the loss of their people, and our attention on them in Oriceran should keep significant trouble from spilling over to Earth for some time.”

  “I’m relieved to hear that,” Yev offered. “I was beginning to think the next Great War would be fought with LA as the first major battleground.”

  “Even the Drow queen understands the delicate situation here.” The official sighed and shook his head. “Which is why it’s so frustrating that we’re still forced to aid them, even if indirectly.”

  Yev frowned. “Excuse me? Why would we aid the Drow after everything they’ve done?”

  “You are aware that this James Brownstone intends to adopt the girl that the Drow had such interest in, and that she is half-Drow, correct?”

  “Yes. I previously encouraged them to handle this situation in a more diplomatic manner, but their arrogance sent them down a different path.” Yev’s lip curled into a sneer. “They are the ones who saw fit to send assassins and teams of warriors. They are the fools who attacked the local human anti-magic authorities. We’re just fortunate they didn’t kill any of them. I don’t think those of you who spend time on Oriceran can appreciate how savage and given to vengeance Earth humans can be.” He sighed. “The Drow could have destroyed years of outreach efforts.”

  The official gave Yev a tight look that suggested he was more annoyed than concerned. “I understand that, but this isn’t about the Drow. Or at least, they aren’t the problem we need to solve. It’s Brownstone and the girl, Alison.”

  Yev shrugged. “What do we care? Isn’t the adoption a good thing?”

  “Oh? You think it’s a good thing?” The official arched a brow. “Explain.”

  “The girl can serve as the perfect symbol of the new relationship between Earth and Oriceran, given that she is a true child of both worlds.” Yev smiled. “I’m very familiar with the human media landscape. We should be talking to Brownstone about setting up interviews. Maybe even offer the girl some time on Oriceran to appreciate her heritage. We can keep her away from the Drow if we feel that’s necessary.”

  The official shook his head. “If only it were so simple. No. She’s half-Drow, and not just any half-Drow, after all, but the current Princess of the Shadow Forged. The Drow might have ceased their attacks for now, but they’ve made it clear they will not tolerate her becoming part of Brownstone’s family, and given her royal status, it’s difficult for us to simply ignore them or deny them some input in this matter.”

  “Meaning what?”

  The official folded his hands and sat back. “If this adoption goes through I suspect there will be war, so we have to push back against this. We need to make sure Alison stays independent of James Brownstone. This adoption cannot proceed.”

  Yev sucked in a breath. “We can’t.”

  “We must.”

  “You don’t understand.” The consul shook his head. “If we establish a firm line of separation between Oriceran and Earth and suggest we won’t support adoption of Oricerans, half-blooded or otherwise, we’re setting a dangerous precedent.” He grimaced. “You don’t understand the strength of some of the anti-Oriceran groups here. This could undo years of diplomatic work, and help persuade the humans that what Oriceran intends isn’t harmony but invasion. I’m sure the other consuls and ambassadors would offer similar thoughts on the matter.”

  The official frowned. “Then we need another alternative. No matter what, James Brownstone can’t be allowed to adopt that girl. You’re one of our most experienced on this planet. What do you suggest?”

  “I’ll only note that if you intend to confront him directly, even in a less-violent manner, it’s ill-advised given what’s happened with the Drow. We have to do this in a way he can’t or won’t resist. I will also say that James Brownstone has great respect for the local human authorities. That’s something we could use against him.”

  “Yes.” The official gave Yev a dark grin. “You’re right. We will do this through their system.”

  “Their system?”

  The official nodded. “We shall use their courts to make it clear that it’s okay for a human to adopt an Oriceran, but not okay for James Brownstone to adopt that particular Oriceran.”

  4

  James finished gobbling down his fourth slice of pepperoni pizza and set his plate back on the dining room table. Shay had texted to him to say she’d be a little late, so he went ahead and grabbed the pizza. Alison and the bounty hunter had attacked it as they waited for the third part of their strange family—everyone’s favorite aunt-slash-tomb raider—to arrive.

  Wonder why she’s late? Some sort of last-minute tomb raid? Hope she isn’t too pissed that we started without her, but we can always go get more pizza or have some delivered.

  Or maybe not. James frowned. There were very few delivery pizza places Shay could tolerate. For a woman who used to be a professional killer and often crawled around in the dirt and the mud, she could be rather fussy and particular.

  James grunted. Somehow when he obsessed over something he was OCD, but for her, it was just common sense or good taste.

  Tyler’s right. I don’t think I’ll ever understand women.

  Alison finished her single slice of pizza. “Guess I’m still not that hungry. The pizza is a lot better in LA, though.” She laughed. “Not that the food at the school is bad. Just different, and everything here is very familiar in a way the school isn’t at times.” She shrugged.

  “That’s the big city for you. Lots of different nice places to eat.” James smiled. “Plus, pizza’s got a lot of protein.” He eyed her. “Protein’s good for building muscle. You could use a little more muscle.”

  “Not like I’m going to be a bounty hunter. I don’t need to be as buff as you, Dad.”

  The front door beeped, then opened, which meant someone with access to the security system was coming in. No tension assailed the bounty hunter since he’d been expecting Shay, though he was a bit surprised she’d not bothered to text him before her arrival.

  Hope this is a good sign.

  Jam
es turned toward the door. Shay stepped inside with a scowl on her face.

  Shit. Guess whatever was going on with her job left her in a bad mood. Sucks that it had to be on Alison’s first day back. Hope she doesn’t make it a big deal. Want everything to be nice and relaxed.

  The tomb raider’s gaze landed on Alison, and a smile wiped the scowl off her face. She headed over to give James, then Alison, a hug.

  “Glad to have you back in LA, Alison.”

  The girl beamed a bright smile at Shay. “I’m so glad to be back, Aunt Shay.” She pointed to the pizza box on the dining room table. “Thin crust, your favorite.”

  “Good, but you have to understand that it’s not that it’s my favorite.”

  James blinked. “Since when?”

  “You don’t get it. This is less about my tastes and more that it’s the only kind of real pizza.” Shay’s scowl returned, and she stepped away from Alison. The tomb raider crossed her arms. “But before I get into the pizza, I’ve got a little confession for both of you.”

  Alison and James exchanged glances.

  “I didn’t fly into town just now,” Shay continued. “I’ve actually been here since this morning, working on a little personal job that had nothing to do with tomb raiding.”

  James shrugged. “It’s not a big deal if you had stuff to take care of. We understand. At least you weren’t off in the middle of the desert or something. Could have given me a call, though.”

  Alison nodded. “Anything cool that you can tell us about?”

  Shay smirked. “Yeah. I can tell you all about the job because it involved you.”

  “Me?”

  James frowned. “What the hell are you talking about it? Is someone targeting Alison?”

  Shay ignored him, shook her head, and pointed to Alison’s suitcase. “When you’re at that school, I don’t worry. They are up to their asses in witches, wizards, and weird magical monsters. It’s probably why the Drow never went after you directly. Too much magical defense, and that is if they could even detect you, to begin with. I’m guessing the fact they kept causing trouble in LA meant that they couldn’t.”