The Unbelievable Mr Brownstone Omnibus

by Michael Anderle

  Standing beside one of the shelves was a beautiful young Korean woman, her eyes as dark as night, and her hair in an elaborate series of braids held up with the help of gold and silver hairpins. Shay was no fashion expert on ancient Korea, but the woman’s blue hanbok was consistent with some of the pictures she’d seen of the clothing from the Silla era.

  The woman stepped forward, tilting her head. “Curious,” she offered, her voice accented, but the words unmistakably English.

  Shay exchanged a glance with Lily before returning her attention to the woman. “You speak English?”

  The woman held out her hand, and a glowing white orb appeared. “Magic allows me to understand whatever tongue I need.” She closed her hand, and the orb vanished. “You’re foreigners. From far away.” She frowned. “You are…Dutch?”

  Shay snort-laughed before coughing. “Um, no. Not Dutch.”

  The woman nodded slowly. “Portuguese, then? You don’t have the look of someone from Nifon.”

  Lily glanced at Shay, and she shook her head.

  Huh. Judging by the clothes and the old-school name for Japan alone, this chick might have been out of circulation for a thousand years, but the Dutch and Portuguese shit makes me think only a few hundred.

  “We’re Americans,” Shay explained.

  The Korean woman pursed her lips in concentration. “Your country lies in Europe?”

  Shay shrugged. “Farther west. The New World, some people might have called it when you last talked to them.” She held up her hands. “I’m Shay.” She nodded to Lily. “This is Lily.”

  The woman inhaled deeply. “This girl smells of magic. You have things that smell of magic, but she is a magical being.”

  Lily shrugged. “Sorry?”

  The woman shook her head. “You can call me Aerye. I sleep so much now.” She yawned. “It’s hard to stay awake. It’s been…so long. I have few visitors.”

  Shay frowned. “You can sleep when dokkaebi are wandering the cave?”

  She’s either lucky or much, much more than she appears.

  Aerye nodded. “We have a mutually beneficial arrangement. Tell me, Shay and Lily of the Kingdom of America, why have you come here?”

  Here goes nothing.

  Shay cleared her throat. “I’ve come to recover the glass ewer of His Highness, King Bak Hyeokgeose.”

  Aerye’s delicate eyebrows lifted. “Have you now?”

  “I’m on an official mission from the Ministry of Culture, Sports, and Tourism of the Republic of Korea.” Shay tried to sound as professional as she could.

  The woman frowned. “Korea? I don’t know this kingdom. I thought the Kingdom of Great Joseon laid claim to this area. Did perhaps the Goryeo rise again during my sleep?”

  Shay shrugged. “I don’t know when you last woke up, but a lot of things have changed. Hell, the Japan…um, even the people of Nifon ruled the area for a while, and now it’s kind of split down the middle two competing, uh, kingdoms.”

  Aerye sniffed disdainfully. “It is the nature of humans to destroy themselves. You come for a blessed artifact from one of the few good humans to ever exist.”

  “I take it you’re not human, then?”

  The Korean woman shook her head. Nine glowing tails appeared behind her. “I am a kumiho. I have defended the ewer since the fall of Silla. I have no intention of turning it over to any new kingdom that claims dominion over the old lands. There was a reason I fled to this island.”

  Shay blinked. “Huh? I don’t even get this. You’re a kumiho, a nine-tailed shapeshifting fox, right? I don’t know which legends are true, but your kind doesn’t tend to care all that much about human politics, and what you said only confirms that. You care about guarding some artifact for an old king of a fallen kingdom?”

  Lily stepped closer to Shay, her breathing slow.

  Aerye shook her head. “There was a prince of the royal family of Silla. He was the owner, long after his ancestor. A glorious man, perfect in soul and body. His dying wish was that the enemies of his kingdom would not have his most treasured item. I swore to him that I would defend it, and I have for a thousand years.” Her face darkened, and her eyes shifted from dark to orange with slit pupils. The glowing of her tails intensified, and sharp claws extended from her hands. “I don’t care what kingdom you hail from or who you claim to serve. The ewer remains here.”

  Shay shook her head. “I’ve got no beef with you. I really don’t want to have to hurt you.”

  Lily swallowed. “Shay, just got a really bad vision. We should…do something and fast.”

  The kumiho stared at the teen, inhaling deeply. “No. I can’t let you leave. So much fresh blood on you. It’s obvious you’ll return with more and take what doesn’t belong to you.” She whipped her hand back and a ball of burning blue fire appeared, growing in size.

  “Here we go again.” Shay yanked out her pistol and opened fire. Lily joined her.

  A bright blue flash caused each bullet to bounce to the ground, crushed.

  Shay hissed. “I’ll distract her this time. You try one of Tubal-Cain’s little toys. She’s a lot smaller than the dokkaebi.”

  The kumiho threw the blue fireball, and Shay and Lily jumped in opposite directions. The ball struck a wall, exploding in a shower of blue sparks.

  Shay sprinted around the edge of the cave, firing a round every couple of seconds to keep Aerye focused on her. Her enemy kept hurling exploding blue fireballs, each narrowly missing.

  Lily circled the opposite direction, pulling an adamantine knife from a sheath inside her jacket.

  Shay emptied the rest of her magazine into the kumiho’s shield and pulled out her sword.

  Aerye narrowed her eyes and took a step back.

  Shay grinned. “You get it, don’t you? This isn’t an ordinary sword.”

  The kumiho slammed her palms together, and a wave of azure energy shot from her in all directions. Lily leapt over it, likely anticipating it with her abilities.

  The magic blast slammed into Shay, knocking her onto her back. She managed to keep a grip on her sword but her stomach churned, and she regretted all the banchan and rice she’d had for breakfast.

  Aerye ignored Lily behind her.

  You shouldn’t have been so sure she’d get hit, fox bitch.

  The teen rushed straight toward the kumiho and slammed the knife into her back, and Aerye screamed and spun. A blade of blue light sprang from her wrist, and she came within a hairsbreadth of slicing Lily’s throat before the teen somersaulted away.

  Shay forced herself off the ground and ignored the pain and nausea to charge Aerye. The kumiho turned around just in time for the blade of the tachi to pierce her heart.

  Aerye blinked several times and looked down at the crimson seeping from her wound. She coughed up some blood and gripped the blade. “I’m sorry, my prince. I’ve failed you.”

  Shay released her grip and Aerye fell backward, her tails vanishing but her claws and eyes remaining the same. With a final gasp, her head lolled to the side and her breathing stopped.

  A moment later, Shay fell to her knees and clutched her stomach. “Oh, fuck. I don’t feel great.” She looked toward Lily. “You okay?”

  Lily shrugged. “I think so. Are you seriously hurt? I don’t see any new wound.”

  Shay managed to stand, her stomach still flipping but the discomfort starting to fade. “I’ve been better, but I think I’ll live.” She shook her head and looked down at the dead kumiho. “Shit. It didn’t have to go down that way. This was supposed to be a nice aboveboard legal recovery job.”

  Lily knelt over Aerye and closed her eyes. “She guarded the ewer for a thousand years for some guy who died before our country even existed. That’s devotion.”

  Shay snorted. “Maybe, or maybe it’s delusion and obsession. I’m not sitting around in a cave for a thousand years guarding anything.” She rolled her eyes. “With my luck, James would want me to guard his stupid truck for that long.”

  Sh
e headed toward the pedestal and looked over her shoulder. “Don’t worry, Aerye. At least this isn’t going to be sold to some asshole for a private collection. The Korean people will benefit from it, and at least some are probably descendants of the man you loved so much.”

  Devotion and love. Hell, love is still a weird idea for me. What would it be like to spend the rest of my life with James?

  Her eyes widened and her cheeks heated.

  Lily looked at Shay, curiosity on her face “Something wrong?”

  Shay waved a hand dismissively. “Just some aftereffects of her spell.”

  The rest of my life, huh?

  James picked up the phone and dialed Alison. He was surprised she hadn’t called him. For all he knew, she was also monitoring all big crime news in Los Angeles for Brownstone-related incidents.

  “Hey, Dad,” she answered cheerfully. “What’s up?”

  He rubbed the back of his neck and grunted. “Just figured I should be honest with you.”

  “About what?”

  James frowned. “You didn’t hear about it on the news?”

  “I’ve been busy. Classes and…well, a lot of stuff. It’s a magic school, you know.” Alison chuckled. It sounded a bit nervous to James.

  Probably boy shit. I get it, Shay. I have to let her grow up. I won’t ask.

  At least that was what he told himself. He couldn’t be sure if it was that or more that he didn’t want to get into an argument about secrets.

  “Some guys tried to come after me,” James explained. “It wasn’t a big deal. Well, they did damage a barbeque restaurant, but no one got hurt. Except for them. They’re all dead. But they had it coming. I wanted to tell you about it before you heard shit on the news.”

  He grunted, worrying about his language. During the summer they’d spent training together and going out on bounty hunts, he’d fallen out of the habit of controlling himself around Alison. It seemed kind of silly to worry about a few bad words when his daughter was helping him take down dangerous criminals.

  If she can beat down witches, she can hear a few shits and fucks.

  Alison groaned. “Is Mom there?”

  “She’s in Korea on a tomb raid, but she completed it, and she’ll be back tomorrow.”

  The girl let out a sigh of relief. “Just try not to do anything crazy until she comes back.”

  “Crazy like what?”

  “Oh, I don’t know, maybe attacking an entire building like you did with the Harriken.”

  James grunted. “Hey, they kept at me until I had no choice.”

  Alison snorted. “No attacking buildings filled with bad guys without at least some people backing you up. If not Mom, then the guys at the agency. Promise me.”

  “Fine,” James grumbled. “I promise not to attack any buildings filled with bad guys without backup.”

  A merry laugh followed. “That’s all I wanted. I love you, Dad. Be careful, and remember you always have the wish if you need it.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Fuck using the wish. That’s hers, and it’ll stay hers.

  Trey, Max, and six more Brownstone bounty hunters surrounded the target house.

  Too easy. Why hasn’t this fucker taken a shot? This was near the top of the list that hacker chick gave us.

  Trey shook his head. A dangerous target was inside, a wizard who called himself the VR King on the dark web. When Heather had sent Trey the list, she’d warned him there were some oddities about the VR King’s online presence, and she wouldn’t be surprised if he had used magic to alter or scrub some of it. That might explain why VR King only had a level-one bounty for draining a few bank accounts despite being a self-admitted wizard specializing in fire and electronic magic, yet another detail linking him to the attack on James.

  They’d shown up for one important reason. The VR King had been bragging lately about how he was ready to move up in the world and “kill himself a pussy-ass motherfucker like James Brownstone.”

  Every Brownstone Agency bounty hunter present was suited up with armor, assault rifles, and anti-magic deflectors. They lacked the trademark Brownstone Agency suits and looked more like an AET team.

  Trey nodded to Max, who stood on the corner. He signaled the next man. They didn’t want to risk using phones. They couldn’t be sure if the VR King would be able to detect the calls.

  Lachlan moved up to the front door, shotgun loaded with a breaching round and racked, and indicated that he was ready.

  Trey held up three fingers, then two, then one.

  The shotgun spewed out its cargo, blowing through the lock. Lachlan rolled to the side as Trey charged in to knock the door open, his rifle ready. He stepped to the side and swept the room. Another man entered, then another.

  “Living room clear,” Trey shouted.

  “Kitchen clear,” Manuel yelled from the other side of the house.

  No problem entering front or back. This shit was too easy.

  Trey gritted his teeth. No way the VR King could be taken down this easily. That was when he heard it.

  Someone shouting from a room down the hall.

  Trey rushed forward, his rifle still at the ready. Lachlan and Carl fell in behind him. They continued running until they found the source of the shouting, another closed door.

  Lachlan and Carl fanned out to either side of Trey. The senior bounty hunter took a deep breath and kicked open the door.

  “Repeat myself?” shouted a voice from the darkened room inside. “I said you should kill yourself, you dumbass pussy noob motherfucker. If that doesn’t happen, maybe get cancer while I’m riding your mom. That’s what you get for fucking with the VR King.”

  A soft glow came from the side of the room. Someone encased in a thick VR headset, gloves, and headphones sat in front of a computer. Something was wrong.

  Too fucking small. Is the VR King a gnome or a dwarf or some shit like that? Not a wizard?

  Trey kept his gun trained on the person in front of the computer and flipped on the room light.

  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he muttered.

  The person encased in nothing but his boxers and VR gear wasn’t a dangerous wizard or an Oriceran, but a human kid, probably twelve or thirteen at most.

  Trey shouldered his rifle and walked over to the computer. Apparently, their dangerous bounty was playing some sort of VR shooting game.

  Several more bounty hunters made it into the room and the men spread out, shouldering their rifles and watching. The rest waited in the hall.

  Judging by the screen, the VR King was running through a virtual corridor of an Oriceran castle shooting various Kilomea and elves with a simulated rifle.

  “Yeah, suck on it,” the kid yelled. “You can’t fucking handle this heat. You are all a bunch of whiny motherfucking bitches who couldn’t get a positive KDA if your whore mother offered to blow you over it. You think I’m a kid using a voice modulator? You wish I was, you dumbass piece-of-shit cocksucker dog-fucker. I’m a fucking nightmare. I’m fucking you up the ass right now, and you don’t even know it. Maybe I’ll use a spell, trace your ass, and then fireball you for fucking questioning me, you non-magical bitch.”

  Trey whistled. “Damn! That boy’s got a mouth. I don’t know if I’m old enough to hear this.”

  The rest of the bounty hunters laughed.

  “What the fuck are you talking about?” the VR King shouted. “No one is in the room with me. You’re just hearing shit. I told you, I play this shit using magic from Oriceran because humans are nothing but pussy bitches. I do this to help me train. I’m gonna fuck up people next in real life. AET. James Brownstone. Those cocksucking motherfuckers are gonna cry when the VR King comes for them.”

  Trey shook his head and marched over to the boy, yanked off the headset, and tossed it on the desk.

  “What the fuck, Mom?” the VR King screamed. “I told you never to do that shit.” He spun toward Trey and all the color drained from his face. “Uh, who are you?”r />
  All the anger and feigned street accent left the boy’s voice.

  Trey crossed his arms. “You’re the VR King? The guy with a level-one bounty?”

  The boy laughed nervously. “Look, that wasn’t even me. I read about it on some message board, and I just took credit for it. Oh shit. You’re the cops? You’re AET, aren’t you?”

  Trey shook his head. “We’re with the Brownstone Agency. We heard that a wizard named the VR King was threatening to kill our boss, so we decided to go catch his ass first.”

  The VR King groaned and lowered his head. “It’s all just shit-talking. Psych warfare, you know? If people think I’m a badass wizard in real life, they don’t play as well, and I do better against them. Besides, kill James Brownstone?” The kid laughed, the confidence and street accent returning. “I don’t think a fucking army of zombie dragons could kill James Motherfucking Brownstone.”

  The men all chuckled, and Trey nodded.

  “Ain’t no point in bringing in a kid who ain’t even the bounty. Next time, pick some other guy to threaten.” Trey shrugged. “We ain’t paying for the door, though.”

  The kid winced. “Man, my mom will freak. She’s going to take my computer away.”

  Trey laughed and shook his head. “Let’s go, boys. If this is how this shit starts, we're gonna have to run down a lot of leads.”

  8

  Shay laughed, from the other side of the couch. “So far your investigation has netted a bunch of wannabes and one foul-mouthed pre-teen?”

  James grunted.

  Shit, I’m glad she’s back, but I don’t know who I want more: worried Shay or mocking Shay.

  “The guys are chasing down leads from Heather.”

  “Peyton’s still on vacation, but I can make him work remotely.”

  James shook his head. “It’s fine. I’ve also got Tyler working the underworld angle more directly.” He shrugged. “And there might not be shit to find. Those four guys I killed might have been it.”