Infraction

by K. I. Lynn

  Trent mouthed a “thank you,” while Darren and Nathan chuckled. Erin’s face lit up and she went into telling me all about the ingredients she used.

  It was a Mexican-themed meal with enchiladas as the main course—Erin’s specialty.

  After dinner Darren led us into the den, directing us to the couch before closing the door and then sitting in one of the chairs. I pulled Nathan’s dream journal from my purse and handed it to Nathan, who in turn handed it to Darren.

  We were both anxious as he turned on his doctor mode and spent the following fifteen minutes reading over Nathan’s dream, his face void of emotion the entire time. Every once in a while he would look up to Nathan and then turn to me before returning his attention back to the journal.

  “Hmm,” was all he said, the only noise he uttered as he read the intricate details of Nathan’s subconscious.

  He set it down and sat back in his chair, staring at the journal. It sat there for a few minutes before he picked it back up and read through it again.

  My brow scrunched together. That’s it?

  That was when he turned to me. No, that was not it. “I assume you’ve read this. How does this make you feel? Do you have doubts about the sincerity? Are you scared? Tell me what’s going through your head.”

  I clasped Nathan’s hand in mine and took a deep breath before spilling every thought that was running through my head since the previous evening. “I love Nathan, and I want to believe this is what we’ve been waiting for, but at the same time I don’t know if I can trust it. Do I take it at face value? I mean…can it really be true?”

  Dr. Morgenson nodded. “It can, if you allow it.”

  “How does one dream change a man overnight? He could wake up tomorrow and regret it, or decide I’m not enough. What do I have that holds him? Nothing. Because despite how much I try and how much I’ve healed, I still don’t have very much self-worth. So, why would this one dream make everything okay, make him want me, and want to stay with me? I’m afraid of what it could or couldn’t mean, and I’m afraid… ” I trailed off, my head dropping, tears stinging my eyes.

  Nathan squeezed my hand as his other hand tilted my face up to his. “I can’t let go of all my guilt, but I’m ready to move forward. I think that’s what it means. I need to live again, and I want to do that with you. I can’t keep going the way I’ve been heading, and I can’t lose you. Honeybear, after everything that’s happened, I know I can’t be without you.” His thumb began to make small circles on my cheek, wiping away the tear that fell. I leaned into his touch. “I love you, and I want us to move forward and out of this purgatory we’ve created.”

  I leaned forward and placed my lips on his. He pressed into me, his lips parting.

  “I want that too, but you have to remember I’m always going to need constant confirmation you want me.”

  “Then I’ll tell you every single day how much I love and adore you, how much I want you in every single way a man could want a woman.”

  There was a throat clearing, knocking us out of the little bubble we were hiding in. We both turned to find Dr. Morgenson studying us. He leaned forward and placed the journal back on the table and tapped on it. “This? This has rendered me speechless. I mean…wow. I’m astonished, Nathan. This is the largest breakthrough I’ve ever seen with you, next to admitting you were in love with Lila. You seem to be doing well on your own. I almost feel like my children are leaving the nest,” he said, joking with us a bit before asking the question we wanted the answer to. “So, what’s the next step?”

  Nathan turned to look at Dr. Morgenson. “We were hoping you would tell us that.”

  “Well, you two have made quite a lot of progress over the past few months. While you both still have a long journey ahead of you, I believe you both may have passed your greatest hurdles.” He sat back, contemplating his next statement. “If you were ready to try a conventional relationship, I would encourage it. You two have only made the progress you have because of one another. The love and support you provide one another is healthy, even if your past relationship was not. I have faith in you two. It won’t be easy, but you’re moving in the right direction.”

  Dr. Morgenson left us after that to check on dessert, closing the door to the study behind him. We sat there for a moment going over what he had said in silence.

  Out therapist thought we were good for one another, that we helped each other. He was surprised by Nathan’s breakthrough and believed it to be true.

  He’s the expert, so I should believe him… right?

  I was so lost in my thoughts with my hand lying limp in Nathan’s, I almost missed the statement that would solidify my decision to be with him.

  “I need lovey hugs.”

  It was then I realized I was acting distant, that he needed almost as much reassurance as I did. I launched myself as best I could from my position on the couch and onto his lap. My arms wrapped tightly around him, my hands fisting into his shirt.

  “I love you, Nate. I love you so much.”

  “Lila, Lila, baby, you are my everything.”

  We stayed that way for a few minutes before he helped me stand and walk back out to the dining room. Darren, Trent, and Erin were waiting for us. We ate cheesecake with cherries and caught up on idle gossip for about an hour.

  It was nice to be with people in a normal setting, doing normal things, and I didn’t want the rest of the evening to seem rushed, but I was dying to get out of there and get home. I wanted nothing more than to be in bed, with Nathan between my thighs, his body surrounding mine.

  We were getting ready to leave, hugging goodbye, when Erin whispered in my ear. “Much clearer.”

  The drive wasn’t long, but the air was charged, our fingers entwined. We entered the building and stepped into the elevator that would take us up to my condo. The tension in the small space was palpable. It felt like any second the car would explode, but I had a feeling neither of us would mind. My eyes were locked on the panel, watching it change with each floor. Four, Five, Six, Seven.

  Before we hit eight, my crutches were on the ground, and I was wrapped up in Nathan’s arms, pulled as close as possible to his tight chest. His lips found mine, and it was electrifying. I could feel his need through his fingers.

  I’d missed his lips on mine, the connection we had when we were together. He set me on fire and made me feel alive. What we shared sexually was unique, ours, and I’d missed it all and ached to have it again.

  The elevator pinged for our floor as Nathan picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, one of his hands holding up my casted leg, while he picked up my crutches. We stumbled down the hall and somehow managed to unlock the door. He tossed the crutches to the ground and walked us back to the bedroom.

  He threw me down on the bed and rid himself of his shirt before bringing his lips down to mine. His fingers worked at my waistband, pulling my skirt down over my hips and down my legs.

  A rumble moved through his chest as he growled into my ear, “I need you, baby.”

  My hand moved down his chest, pushing beneath the waistband of his slacks to find what I needed. He hissed when my fingers wrapped around his cock. He was hard and hot, and I was getting wet with every second his silky shaft was in my hand.

  Hard, frantic hands ripped my shirt from me, and I was forced to let go of my prize. His mouth closed over my nipple, his teeth biting down and tugging, pulling on the sensitive flesh and sending sweet pleasure down to where his hand was working my clit.

  I cried out and shuddered, my body begging for more. Heat trailed along my thigh where his cock brushed against the sensitive skin. So close, so close to where I needed him. My nails dug into his arms from the intensity of it all.

  “That’s it, baby. You like that, don’t you? Fucking begging for it, because…because…”

  His voice dropped as he trailed off, unable to finish his sentence, and his movements slowed, while his eyes grew wide. He dropped his forehead to mine, his lips presse
d into a hard line. Fuck, he was warring with himself. He was holding the beast back, keeping his lips sealed. I didn’t know why he stopped, but I was going to get him back on track.

  “Talk to me, please. Please,” I begged, my hands roaming his arms and chest. I kissed along his tense jaw and whispered in his ear, “I need it. Tell me how much you love being inside me. How much you need me. How much you love to fuck me hard. How I’m a dirty little slut for letting you do naughty things to me. All the while you fuck me like the whore I am for you. Only for you. All for you. I want you, Nathan. Now. Hard.”

  He growled, and my pussy clenched from the delicious sound. His hands were rough as they grabbed mine, pushing them into the bed while his body covered mine. He stared into my eyes, the tip of his cock at my entrance, hips thrust forward, driving him as deep as he could go.

  My mouth opened in a silent scream as he filled me for the first time in months. An overwhelming feeling took hold, and I trembled in his arms.

  Something clicked then, and everything was right. We were right.

  “Because you are my dirty girl. Your moans are mine, your orgasms are mine, your body is mine,” he said through clenched teeth. “You are fucking mine!”

  “Yes!”

  “Only my hands will touch your bare skin. Not Andrew, not the guy downstairs, no one but me.”

  “Only you. It’s only ever been you,” I whimpered as his slick cock moved at a furious pace, driving me into madness. “Only ever you.”

  “I know when you’re dripping for me. I know when your pussy is ready for me. And I know what you sound like when you’re about to come from my cock being inside you.” His teeth nipped at my jaw. “No one else will ever know these things about you – only me.”

  I’d almost forgotten about my casted leg, until I tried to wrap my legs around his waist. The weight of the plaster caught me off guard, and I whacked Nathan in the thigh. He groaned, but didn’t stop. Grabbing my leg under my knee he brought it up, pushing it toward my chest. I felt a bump run down my leg and a “shit, fuck,” come from Nathan.

  My eyes opened and Nathan crashed his lips to mine, groaning again. His hand slammed my left leg down on the bed, while my right leg was swung over his shoulder. He straddled my casted leg and leaned forward, pushing himself deeper at the new angle.

  “Fuck, baby, so fucking tight.”

  My hands wound up in his hair, pulling him down into a kiss. He grabbed hold of my wrists and tore them from him. Pinning my right arm above my head, his fingers entwined with mine, while my other arm was pinned to the bed by my side.

  His breath was hot and heavy by my ear. “Hold on, my little whore, I’m going to tear you up.”

  I shivered at his words and my body was set alight. I tried to move, but the new position and his tight hold kept me in place.

  Then it began.

  Hard, relentless, pounding, and I was restrained, unable to do anything except feel all of him. In and, just as fast, out. Over and over, harder and harder, as fast as he could go. I was screaming, crying, begging. Words falling from my lips as I clenched around him in one of the most intense orgasms I’d ever experienced.

  His mouth was latched onto my neck, nipping, biting, licking, and scraping.

  “That’s it, take it, take me. Come all over my cock.”

  The intense pace continued, not allowing me to come down before building me right back up as I climbed toward another orgasm. My body was shaking, and every time he pushed forward or bit down, the fire grew.

  “Nathan… Nate, please. I can’t…”

  “Take it!” he roared, slamming harder, and I crumbled. “You will take all my cock has to give you!”

  Tearless sobs erupted from me as I fell over the edge, again. His movements became erratic and his body tensed. His teeth dug into my shoulder, to the point of pain, as I felt him spill inside me.

  His hands went lax before his body collapsed on top of mine. It was a little hard to breathe, but I loved the feeling of him so close as he softened inside me.

  As we both struggled to recover, I realized we had come full circle, and the sex was exactly what we both needed; it was how we connected.

  “Fuck, my head hurts.” His head rose from my neck, kissing his way up until our eyes met.

  “I thought sex was supposed to get rid of headaches,” I said between pants, my body limp.

  “Yeah, but it doesn’t help when a cast slams into your head repeatedly…”

  My eyes widened as I looked up at him. “So, that’s what happened?” I tried to keep the smile from forming on my face, but failed. The imagery was too much, and I began giggling as it played over and over in my mind.

  Nathan began to laugh as well and rolled beside me, pulling my leg with him, and I rolled onto his chest.

  “I love you, so much,” I said, snuggling into him.

  I felt a kiss on the top of my head. “I love you too, Honeybear. Cast beatings and all.”

  As we laid there catching our breath, I couldn’t help but note the change. We both knew we had found our way home to each other.

  CHAPTER 15

  I felt a twinge in my neck and smiled. I was back to wearing scarves to cover the marks he left, so it was a good thing the cooler weather was moving in.

  Every moment we weren’t in the office, and sometimes when we were, Nathan had his hands all over my body, and I had mine on his. We couldn’t get enough of one another, drunk on the ability to finally touch each other again, and it was bliss.

  Every caress brought us closer, every kiss solidifying our connection.

  Work was busy, as usual, even with Owen’s help, but with the events of the previous days, even the Boob Squad couldn’t get me down. I was on cloud nine.

  Jennifer, in her usual cleavage-baring garment, cornered me in the middle of the week in the break room as I heated up my lunch.

  “You know, Delilah, if you weren’t such a frigid bitch I’m sure that someone out there would be willing to warm you up at night. I mean, I know you and Andrew had a thing once, though I have no idea what he saw in you, but I really think a good lay would help you out.”

  I stared at her. “A good lay?” I burst out laughing, catching her off guard. If only she knew. She stormed out in a huff, not appreciating my laughing at her criticism.

  I was giddy all day Friday, bouncing in my chair, high on anticipation. I wondered if this was what I’d always heard about kids on Christmas. Was that how they felt? If it was, I finally understood the analogy.

  We’d spent the week in a different, almost euphoric, atmosphere. Nathan and I worked during the day, flirting by text the way we used to, and spent the evening in each other’s arms, making up for lost time. Well, lost time and repressed lust. He wasn’t holding back anymore, and I was reaping all the benefits.

  Nathan wanted our date that weekend to be like any other first date, and not like two people who had been living together for the previous two months. He wanted to pick me up from my condo.

  The night before I packed my bag, including my date wear, and had it ready for after work the next day. He wouldn’t tell me much, only that we were “getting away from it all.” He insisted on it being a surprise.

  He showed up at my condo, ringing the doorbell moments after I arrived after work that Friday. He helped me with my bag, down to the lobby, and into the parking lot.

  When we sat in the car he turned to me and smirked, kissing my lips before drawing back. In his hand he held a blindfold and had me turn so that he could wrap it around my head.

  He was making sure his surprise stayed that way.

  My mind wandered through the past days. There had been a sudden change with Nathan and me after we talked to Dr. Morgenson. The walls had fallen down; the atmosphere around us was full of life and energetic.

  It was hope, and I wasn’t afraid of it anymore; I embraced it.

  Hope was something neither of us had held onto in the past. It made everything we’d been through worth it,
because for the first time in my life I felt…complete. I felt wanted, needed. I’d never known the part of me I was missing my whole life was him.

  We were communicating. Living life through the hard lessons we’d learned over the previous months. As Dr. Morgenson said, we still had a long road ahead of us, but now we were one. Nathan and I were in it together, walking through life hand in hand.

  Whatever came our way, we would handle it together.

  We slowed down after what seemed like hours, and Nathan allowed me to remove the blindfold. What I saw when I opened my eyes was far from what I was expecting.

  “We’re having dinner here?” I asked as we pulled up to what I could only describe as a mansion. The house was huge, and it was sitting on an easy five acres.

  The only response I received from Nathan was a grin as we moved up the drive. Once we reached the front door, he hopped out and came around to my side to help me out. He handed me my crutches, and I headed up the stairs to the front door in my usual slow-going pace while he retrieved our bags.

  I thought for our first date we would go out to a restaurant or something. Wasn’t that what was the tradition? Random mansion outside the city was not what I was expecting.

  The door opened before I made it up the last few steps, and I was surprised to see Sarah on the other side.

  She smiled at me; her arms open wide in greeting. “Lila! Welcome!”

  “Good evening, Sarah.” My confusion rose at her being there. Our first date was with his parents?

  “Mom, you said you would be gone by four,” Nathan said with a groan from behind me. “It’s almost six.”

  “Yes, yes.” She waved his words off. “Your father was delayed—you know how it is. Don’t worry; we’re heading out in a moment so you two will have your privacy.”

  I reached the top step and she pulled me in for a hug. “How are you feeling today? Are you excited about tonight?”

  I pulled back and smiled at her. “Very. Though I’m a bit confused about what we’re doing here.”